Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[The Littlest Shitlord]

He wanted to hit Einstein with it.

Fucker has it coming, always standing up and clapping on the bus all the time. Quit making a spectacle of yourself and just let the poor working guys get to their jobs asshole.

So what you are saying is Kathleen Kennedy has a great big tank full of Jenny clones. I believe it.

Probably has an even bigger tank full of Moviebob clones too. Would have to be a lot bigger.

That would explain why MovieBob never learns anything. Every so often, he has a rage stroke or diabetic coma and has to be replaced by a new clone with factory-standard programming and no lessons learned from the old clone. He genuinely doesn't understand why people keep referencing his infamous eugenics tweet; he doesn't even remember making it because it was half a dozen clones ago.

Shadow over Innsmouth always gets brought up as having racist undertones, but I don't find it so obvious. The existential fear you are describing is far more obvious in Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family, which is explicitly about a guy researching his ancestry, which involved whites mixing with Congolese.

Actually his ancestry was mixed with non-human primates rather than blacks. Although a racist of his caliber would have seen little difference in any case.

 

[TheImportantFart]

I’ve just seen it.

Hoo boy, what a mess. I can think of things I liked about the film, but for every one thing I can think of that I liked, about three other things I didn’t like supersedes it - the weird editing, the bizarre pacing, the cheesy dialogue, etc. There’s bits of this film that I guess kind of work in isolation, but in the context of everything else that’s going on, they end up falling flat. At least we didn’t have to pay for the tickets (we got them using a gift voucher someone gave us).

I will say it feels like JJ sincerely tried to make something that would make people happy, and I’ll grant him a little respect for that, but that’s as generous as I get. I’m not angry, I’m not even disappointed, I just feel cold.

I don’t have much to say about this that hasn’t been said already. When the Disney sale went ahead, I basically took the attitude that even if the films were bad, it would just be the latest nail in a big pile of nails that used to be the Star Wars coffin, and I still stand by that now. I know Prequel Trilogy and George Lucas apologia is the in thing right now, but personally I don’t think he would’ve done a significantly better job had he kept hold of the franchise. The Original Trilogy is still a timeless masterpiece, so I think the best thing to do is just move on, remember the good times and wait for the Plinkett review (I have the Half in the Bag review cued up for my next car journey - can’t wait!).

Actually, since a few people have been asking me about it, I’ll address that question. Yes, this film was spookily similar to Rufus’s Episode IX script. I said in an earlier post that I don’t know if it’s the case that Rufus read the leaks and hypocritically decided to “borrow” some material, or it was just a coincidence. On reflection, I think the latter is slightly more likely since Rufus was specifically ripping off Endgame and other random films with his script, which is hilarious because it means Disney’s finest are on par with a mentally unstable manchild, and said mentally unstable manchild can’t produce a Star Wars story any better than the people he hates. Everybody loses!

The parallels were downright unnerving at times though. I almost laughed out loud when Palpatine said “I am all of the Sith”, only for Rey to respond “And I am all of the Jedi”, strike him down, die, then get resurrected. I half-expected Spandau Ballet to start playing at that point. That’s not even to mention the other parallels - Death Star Destroyers, Scavenger Hunt plot, Force resurrection, a golden lightsaber, Boba Fett-style chick, a ship getting blown up by having its own weapon turned on it during the final battle while the commander watches helplessly from the bridge, an ending at the Lars homestead on Tatooine, the list goes on.

0/10. No Spandau Ballet during the lightsaber duels and no Oedipal slave Leia bikini sex scene. Booooo!

Incidentally, if you’re wondering what the fuck I’ve been rambling on about for the last few paragraphs, here’s some context.

 

[AverageAnimeWatcher]

Just watched the latest Mandalorian episode, and really enjoyed it. The Mandalorians really give the Jedi a run for their money in coolness.

Female characters shine without devaluing the male ones, and the finale did pay off all the setup they made since episode 1.

Honestly, they should've just given the ST to John Favreau.

I mean, I'm sure there are many people better for the job, but, you can feel the difference when someone that loves star wars makes Star Wars, as opposed to people that just see it as an excuse to shove their politics in your troat (K.K + Ryan) or simply leech of Nostalgia for profit ( like J.J).

 

[Kaede Did Nothing Wrong]

I don't know if this has been posted yet, but it's a theater of new trilogy fans (?) getting really mad at the ending. the girl who tweeted it clarified later it was a private screening after she was called rude.

 

[Gehenna]

It's really easy because all three options are terrible. Snoke is a joke, Palpatine devalues the OT, and WoW fags should keep their dicks out of the main storyline. A 2-hour movie is simply the wrong medium for this. (A 40-hour game, sure. A "non-canon" experimental novel, sure. A single-author epic fantasy series, go ahead, please don't die until you're done.)

Except it is really not. If the Son of Mortus leak is correct, then Abrams made something passable alongside Lucas, everything got fucked by Disney Comittee. You'd need to argue against a theoretical film which is a non starter and which would have at least had some legitimacy with the George addition.

If the Snoke one is correct, it was effectively a full retcon of TLJ and again sans corporate interference.
The issue with both is it is really hard to differentiate what would be Abrams being a hack and what would be Corporate Committee Design 101.

The only scenario where Abrams gets 100% of the blame and summarily fired from a catapult into Mount Doom is if he actually wanted palpatine from the start.

 

[AverageAnimeWatcher]

IMHO, the ship for making Kylo the main villain had long sailed once TLJ was made. Even if J.J, had made him an amazing villain, which I doubt as he is usually a hack, he just didn't have the reputation for people to be invested in his defeat.

Even TLJ fans wanted a Kylo's redemption arc to ship him with Rey, but they didn't consider him a huge treat for Rey.

If Kylo Ren was really their Darth Vader, I had no doubt Disney would've used him to sell tickets, but he just wasn't believable.

Palpatine was brought to leech of nostalgia, yes, but also because Ryan put them in a corner, and they had have an epic movie about defeating a huge villain... without any huge villain.

Yes, Kylo should've been the main villain with Snoke out of the picture, but the set up just wasn't there.

 

[Tookie]

Hoo boy, what a mess. I can think of things I liked about the film, but for every one thing I can think of that I liked, about three other things I didn’t like supersedes it - the weird editing, the bizarre pacing, the cheesy dialogue, etc. There’s bits of this film that I guess kind of work in isolation, but in the context of everything else that’s going on, they end up falling flat. At least we didn’t have to pay for the tickets (we got them using a gift voucher someone gave us).

There's a lot of bits I like in total isolation but there is no rhyme or reason to how they were stitched together. TFA felt like they went with the first draft of the script with no editing to make obvious improvements and this one feels like they had a bunch of ideas for cool scenes they tossed into a blender.

 

[Creep3r]

What unresolved storylines? He-man punches bad guy and tells his friends not to be fuck-ups in life at the end of each episode. You don't need to smoke an 1/8th of weed a day to figure that out.

Wasn't the final episode of the 80s show some crap about King Randor throwing a birthday party? There was nothing unresolved from that show, and it was followed by a crappy sequel series that has He-Man and Skeletor summoned to the future where all their friends and family are dead yet they don't seem to care but even that ends with Skeletor ultimately defeated. Honestly, I never understood the appeal of He-Man outside of the toys, especially when Thundercats was far superior in every single damn way, right down to the action, animation, characters, intro, a better fucking sword and better world building (at least before the 3rd season shat the bed). Yet media outlets and "geek culture" keep acting as if the He-Man cartoon was some pinnacle of action cartoons.

Also the only He-Man media that had unresolved storylines was the 2002 cartoon which was honestly better than the original by a hundred miles.

Anyway back to SW.

Just watched the latest Mandalorian episode, and really enjoyed it. The Mandalorians really give the Jedi a run for their money in coolness.

I was pleasantly surprised by how well they handled the IG droid. These assholes actually remembered that droids and aliens can be just as compelling characters, if not more so than humans, something Disney shit cruelly forgot by completely dismissing aliens and robots to the role of background comic relief for the films while m;lking poor Chewbacca for all he was worth. And the almost complete absence of Disney shit (including no death troopers) was a warm welcome and they even actually mention Mandalore the Ultimate (although they call him Mandalore the Great here for some reason). Its definitely on par with episode 2 for me and a huge improvement over the episode that came before. Its a shame its still tied down to Disney shit.

Edit:
Rose Tico might be getting her own show on Disney+... Goes to show Disney will never change.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

Wasn't the final episode of the 80s show some crap about King Randor throwing a birthday party? There was nothing unresolved from that show, and it was followed by a crappy sequel series that has He-Man and Skeletor summoned to the future where all their friends and family are dead yet they don't seem to care but even that ends with Skeletor ultimately defeated. Honestly, I never understood the appeal of He-Man outside of the toys, especially when Thundercats was far superior in every single damn way, right down to the action, animation and world building (at least before the 3rd season shat the bed). Yet media outlets and "geek culture" keep acting as if the He-Man cartoon was some pinnacle of action cartoons.

Also the only He-Man media that had unresolved storylines was the 2002 cartoon which was honestly better than the original by a hundred miles.

Anyway back to SW.

I was pleasantly surprised by how well they handled the IG droid. These assholes actually remembered that droids and aliens can be just as compelling characters, if not more so than humans, something Disney shit cruelly forgot by completely dismissing aliens and robots to the role of background comic relief for the films while jerking off poor Chewbacca for all he was worth. And the almost complete absence of Disney shit (including no death troopers) was a warm welcome and they even actually mention Mandalore the Ultimate (although they call him Mandalore the Great here for some reason). Its definitely on par with episode 2 for me and a huge improvement over the episode that came before. Its a shame its still tied down to Disney shit.

Edit:
Rose Tico might be getting her own show on Disney+... Goes to show Disney will never change.

Aren't the black stormtroopers, in the square, Death troopers?

Anyways, He-man is fucking gay and terrible. But, the figures were amazing.

Thundercats is downright unwatchable imo. The only cartoon show I remember having decent stories were transformers. MASK maybe? GI Joe or Voltron?

The ones thst stick out for me though was Battletech and at the tail end(probably the best writing)..EXO-Squad..

Also, come on: Rose Tico is not getting a show. I don't care who is lobbying or writing a puff piece for it. It's not happening, those two need better sources than CBR..

 

[HandsomeDan]

Is it just me, or does anyone else find the sequel-era ships so fucking ugly? Literally every ship that wasn't a retread of a classic OT-era starship looks like it was designed by an 8 year old.
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I don't know, I just find these designs either bland, impractical, or both.

What is really annoying is that hammerhead ship was made by someone copy and pasting elements of the OT Corvette multiple times. Very poor and lazy looking. The OT ships were made by experienced model builders who knew how machines operated.

 

[Creep3r]

Aren't the black stormtroopers, in the square, Death troopers?

Well shit... But at least they had Incinerator Troopers back in action again and in the spotlight instead of those Shadow Trooper wannabes.

Fuck I missed these pyromaniacal assholes.

I never said the He-Man toys were shit. Just that the cartoon was absolute shit imo.

ThunderCats was enjoyable for me back in the day for a number of reasons, one of which involved not sugarcoating violence or the subject of death (they pushed the envelope as much as they could for the 1st season), and not having hamfisted moral lessons at the end of each episode. At least until that blind ThunderCat showed up, then every episode became some shoehorned moral lesson about not offending him for being blind. The animation and action in season 1 made it infinitely more watchable than He-Man or Transformers for me (but I actually liked Transformers). But the later seasons really shat the bed and became unwatchable when they gave Mumm-Ra a pet dog and introduced a bunch of ugly trolls from the Moon to be the new villains.

I wouldn't be surprised if Rose gets her own show since a worthless fucker like Andor and possibly Dr. Aphra are getting their own shitshows.

 

[BipolarPon]

Wasn't the final episode of the 80s show some crap about King Randor throwing a birthday party? There was nothing unresolved from that show, and it was followed by a crappy sequel series that has He-Man and Skeletor summoned to the future where all their friends and family are dead yet they don't seem to care but even that ends with Skeletor ultimately defeated. Honestly, I never understood the appeal of He-Man outside of the toys, especially when Thundercats was far superior in every single damn way, right down to the action, animation, characters, intro and world building (at least before the 3rd season shat the bed). Yet media outlets and "geek culture" keep acting as if the He-Man cartoon was some pinnacle of action cartoons.

Also the only He-Man media that had unresolved storylines was the 2002 cartoon which was honestly better than the original by a hundred miles.

Anyway back to SW.

I was pleasantly surprised by how well they handled the IG droid. These assholes actually remembered that droids and aliens can be just as compelling characters, if not more so than humans, something Disney shit cruelly forgot by completely dismissing aliens and robots to the role of background comic relief for the films while m;lking poor Chewbacca for all he was worth. And the almost complete absence of Disney shit (including no death troopers) was a warm welcome and they even actually mention Mandalore the Ultimate (although they call him Mandalore the Great here for some reason). Its definitely on par with episode 2 for me and a huge improvement over the episode that came before. Its a shame its still tied down to Disney shit.

Edit:
Rose Tico might be getting her own show on Disney+... Goes to show Disney will never change.

Jesus, There are way more interesting characthers to give a show too, and they chose one worse than Jar Jar.

 

[Jaimas]

Rose Tico might be getting her own show on Disney+... Goes to show Disney will never change.

.....So the goal is a show that will make CW's Batwoman look successful in contrast.

 

[XtrmGamr719]

.....So the goal is a show that will make CW's Batwoman look successful in contrast.

You'd have to actively try that.

 

[Jaimas]

What unresolved storylines? He-man punches bad guy and tells his friends not to be fuck-ups in life at the end of each episode. You don't need to smoke an 1/8th of weed a day to figure that out.

....The 80s He-Man took place in the Dark Age of cartoons, where serialization wasn't allowed. There are no unresolved storylines.

 

[MagneticTowels]

So I was thinking about Mandalorian

Spoiler

This is why I don't think IG-11 is dead. When he self distructed, the chassis would be destroyed. But, the head could have been blown to safety...

Moments before, we see Cara Dune shoot off the head of an astromech droid with a modified body..

We see Jawas lurking around for the final shot...

I think IG-11 dying may be a running gag...

Spoiler

"Oh my Force! They killed IG!"

"You SLEEMOS!"

 

[Uranus Pink]

]

That was because the shield it was generating was designed to protect the base from orbital bombardment. Without that shield up, the Empire could bombard the base with impunity and effortlessly destroy any fleeing transports or freighters. So what this means is that with tech that existed during the galactic civil war, the Empire could already glass basically any planet that opposed them with impunity. So what do these new Star Destroyers have over the old one? Apparently not a fuck of a lot, considering the standard Imperial class self-evidently has more weapons than these new ones that are apparently double the size, except that they each apparently have a superlaser for no discernable reason.

Those mini-super lasers once properly scaled in size and power to whichever host ship they're mounted on would very useful as heavy anti-ship cannons.
Or as a shield breaker for assaults on planets with theater or more importantly planetary shields.

 

[Old Man Mario]

Wasn't the final episode of the 80s show some crap about King Randor throwing a birthday party? There was nothing unresolved from that show, and it was followed by a crappy sequel series that has He-Man and Skeletor summoned to the future where all their friends and family are dead yet they don't seem to care but even that ends with Skeletor ultimately defeated. Honestly, I never understood the appeal of He-Man outside of the toys, especially when Thundercats was far superior in every single damn way, right down to the action, animation, characters, intro and world building (at least before the 3rd season shat the bed). Yet media outlets and "geek culture" keep acting as if the He-Man cartoon was some pinnacle of action cartoons.

Also the only He-Man media that had unresolved storylines was the 2002 cartoon which was honestly better than the original by a hundred miles.

Anyway back to SW.

I was pleasantly surprised by how well they handled the IG droid. These assholes actually remembered that droids and aliens can be just as compelling characters, if not more so than humans, something Disney shit cruelly forgot by completely dismissing aliens and robots to the role of background comic relief for the films while m;lking poor Chewbacca for all he was worth. And the almost complete absence of Disney shit (including no death troopers) was a warm welcome and they even actually mention Mandalore the Ultimate (although they call him Mandalore the Great here for some reason). Its definitely on par with episode 2 for me and a huge improvement over the episode that came before. Its a shame its still tied down to Disney shit.

Edit:
Rose Tico might be getting her own show on Disney+... Goes to show Disney will never change.

I've read Smith is going to focus on Teela and her being the Sorceress' daughter/clone and "unlocking her true potential" bet he puts his daughter for her voice.

As for Rose Tico getting her own show? I call bullshit. They have to know the people who threw a bitchfit about her having a smaller role don't/won't pay for Disney plus.

Also seeing as it is being reported by the man who married Geeky Sparkles, I'll imagine he heard wrong. I mean hearing that screeching harpy's voice all the time has got to do some damage to the ear drums

 

[BipolarPon]

He's part of the Resistance now and according to his entry all his favorite planets have been destroyed... Are you fucking kidding me here? How much of the Galaxy is even left at this point?

So in the nu-canon, the First order has apparently wiped out most of the galaxy, first of all how? And if there so dangerous why has the New Republic been sitting on there ass all these years as all these planets been destroyed? And how many of them are well known fan favorites.

 

[Ghostse]

Then she should've fucked off and made her own republic with blackjack and hookers. By the end of VI, Leia's rebels are the only legitimate power in the galaxy and everyone who's anyone regards her and Luke as heroes. A republic usurped by the anti-Leia faction who'd use the equivalent of blood libel against her (it's be another thing if she inherited wealth or status from Vader and tried to use that "for good") doesn't deserve to win.

I thought that was the only believable world building bit of the whole New Republic implosion.
To paraphrase, being the Emperor's genocidal right-hand's daughter wouldn't be the reason for her getting sidelined, but it would be the excuse. Granted you might think that having her whole home planet exploded would be an effective counter - as well as all the other shit she did - but effective & dedicated leaders have been forced from power for less.

Wasn't the final episode of the 80s show some crap about King Randor throwing a birthday party? There was nothing unresolved from that show, and it was followed by a crappy sequel series that has He-Man and Skeletor summoned to the future where all their friends and family are dead yet they don't seem to care but even that ends with Skeletor ultimately defeated. Honestly, I never understood the appeal of He-Man outside of the toys, especially when Thundercats was far superior in every single damn way, right down to the action, animation, characters, intro and world building (at least before the 3rd season shat the bed). Yet media outlets and "geek culture" keep acting as if the He-Man cartoon was some pinnacle of action cartoons.

Also the only He-Man media that had unresolved storylines was the 2002 cartoon which was honestly better than the original by a hundred miles.

I'll lead with this: the 2002 He-man reboot was fucking amazing. The cartoon wasn't just better on every level, but I think the reboot got the essence of He-man better than the 80's cartoon, and should be a case study in "if you are going to reboot something, this is how". (Step 1, don't have the project headed by someone who hates the property and its fans)

The 80s He-man cartoon is a cartoon for kids. By that I mean children from like 5 to 8. If you were introduced to the cartoon while in the target range, you will have nostalgia goggles that will make it impossible to see objectively. If you didn't, it is... pure 80's "Holy shit we can advertise to kids as long as there some moral lesson in this show. Toe the fucking line and don't blow this for everyone!" saturday morning steaming shite.

The Animation, for the era, was upthere (though as mentioned, Thundercats was better). The cartoon had memorable characters, great voice acting.
To paraphrase someone else, Skeletor was the right level of villain for children in the age bracket. Scary, but not too scary. Evil, but not too evil.

Edit:
Rose Tico might be getting her own show on Disney+... Goes to show Disney will never change.

If the completely false rumors of Kommisar Klaud getting Rose sidelined have angered the wokeites to the point Disney is going to flush a few million on doing a assuredly terrible show....whew lads.