Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Okay kiwifarms, I want your genuine thoughts and predictions: will we ever EVER get a rian johnson trilogy? What do you think it would have been about?

Ask me again after this weekend's BO is tallied, but I'm feeling a very strong "no". Plan 9 is looking to barely crack 300 million after its first week, and has slowed to a 30 million/day; that's about what TFA was doing after its first week, but the difference is it had a bigger opening weekend and it kept that 30million a day up for about 3 weeks.

I'm pretty sure RJ's shrillogy would have been about war being bad and gay space cowboys eating yogurt.
 
Similarly for the villains. Vader was an intimidating but supremely competent leader who wasn't petty. All of the First Order leadership are baffoons prone to temper tantrums.


I've been going back and forth posting and deleting why Kylo Ren doesn't work as the main villain (but could've with a good set up), but, with what you said, I think I can finally explain it in a few words.

Kylo and the first order are powerful, but we don't respect them. Their own creators treat them as a joke to be pitied; not an enemy to be feared. And you can't fear what you don't respect no matter how powerful it might be.
 
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And you can't fear what you don't respect no matter how powerful it might be.
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'Rian, you broke the unwritten law, you shat on the fans. When you do that Rian, the normies don't respect ya, and you got no fans no more! You got nobody Rian...'
 
The intro sequence with the scout troopers was predictable of Waititi's style, but it also felt like the Troops 1997 parody fan film. Didn't particularly hate it, but could've done without it. Especially the "hurr durr we're Stormtroopers and can't aim for shit" meme that needs to die
I keep saying that Stormtroopers should be used on a much more limited basis. If you want to have mobs of Imperial blaster-fodder standing around and guarding bases on random Outer Rim shitholes and missing their targets half the time, use these guys:

21516bd1e35e320b2d7216f43d4d276a.jpg
 

Getting there. Technically it's more of a burning tungsten saber, but that's cooler than nothing.

I would sooner entrust the entire franchise to Suda51.

....Actually I kind of want to see that now. It'd sure as fuck be entertaining, at least.

I just learned about Suda51's contribution to FirePro Wrestling on the SNES from SnesDrunk:


"Entertaining" would be putting it mildly. He'd make Rian look like JJ.

I keep saying that Stormtroopers should be used on a much more limited basis. If you want to have mobs of Imperial blaster-fodder standing around and guarding bases on random Outer Rim shitholes and missing their targets half the time, use these guys:

21516bd1e35e320b2d7216f43d4d276a.jpg

Who're these guys? Are they from Solo?
 
If IX doesn't even come close to TLJ's numbers then its definitely goodbye Rian. If it actually manages to do better than that (even if its only by a little) while attracting a lot of positive press, I can see Rian getting his trilogy and Kennedy actually getting her contract renewed even if shit is an utter wreck in actuality. Because quite frankly this is Clown World now, and I doubt Iger will really give a shit about doing anything to improve things since he'll be leaving soon anyway. Unless of course investors/share holders are furious and push for some serious change.

Plan 9 is sitting at about 300 Million. It won't be Solo, but its not going to be a run away success either.

My guess on how this goes is no more Star Wars movies for KK's tenure. Blockbusters are too expensive for virtue signaling. So we'll get to see lots of shitty comics and books, since those only cost thousands instead of millions to fail with. Disney will probably put out some more shows and likely animated woke (They like the Mandalorian; Millenials must be tired of movies, they obviously want long form shows like West World and Game of Thrones and True Detective oops lol forget that last one they shit that up with the writers doing weird shit. Anyway, so what I'm thinking is that we have a TV show where Yoda's force ghost is now a woman, because Yoda was a woman all this time. And Boba Fett will be a FtM.) until her contract expires and then Disney will test the waters; I want to say with a one-off Obi Wan-type movie.


:offtopic: But one more He-Man Note:
One other reasons to go off the Filmation/MotU continuity is I believe all the OG voice actors are still alive and available.
In 2016, toymake Super7 was releasing new adult-collector aimed toys, and promoted this with a new Orginal Series episode with the original cast using the original animation guides.
But thye aren't getting any younger, so if you're going to wring max nostalgia pandering, its now or never.


I was talking with a friend about nuWars, and how the best thing for the new Trilogy would have been just to have it set after all the OT people had come legend - Maybe have the Original cast in something lower key, a one-shot film or maybe a mini-series.
Which is hard, because TLJ was our last possible to see all the O.G.'s together in a numbered. And thinking about it, I think that's what real crime of the Prequels were. In 2000, none of the original mains were in their prime, but they weren't geriatric either, and we could have had a decent reunion project.
 
So we'll get to see lots of shitty comics and books
That's also because comics and books are written only by a single person usually without any kind of quality control. It's why you get really bad awkward woke moments, but you also sometimes get the author inserting their /d/ fetishes in there as well. Pic related (the literal who blue checkmark is the author btw):
y5jiybec6c511.png
plrr5nnnfya11.jpg

That's right, this book is canon, but things like the Heir to the Empire trilogy or Shadows of the Empire are not. I remember when Disney nullified the EU, there were a lot of shills on full damage control, who all of a sudden claimed that the EU was terrible and deserved to get trashed. Well this is what we got, people.
 

Getting there. Technically it's more of a burning tungsten saber, but that's cooler than nothing.



I just learned about Suda51's contribution to FirePro Wrestling on the SNES from SnesDrunk:


"Entertaining" would be putting it mildly. He'd make Rian look like JJ.



Who're these guys? Are they from Solo?
So the son of a gun is finally starting to perfect the protosabers. Odan-Urr would be proud.
1577514462572.jpeg

Just a wee bit longer now...

Plan 9 is sitting at about 300 Million. It won't be Solo, but its not going to be a run away success either.
Doesn't surprise me. From the get-go I said this movie would not do worse than Solo but it will definitely not do TFA numbers, maybe not even TLJ. I personally kept saying it would make around 700mil, which would still be disastrous for a main SW film, especially one falsely advertised as the last one. But even then, this is still Clown World so even if it flat out bombs, I can see Disney/Kennedy finding someway to treat this as a victory and fuck shit up even worse. But I'm inclined to believe what you say as a likely scenario.

My guess on how this goes is no more Star Wars movies for KK's tenure. Blockbusters are too expensive for virtue signaling. So we'll get to see lots of shitty comics and books, since those only cost thousands instead of millions to fail with. Disney will probably put out some more shows and likely animated woke (They like the Mandalorian; Millenials must be tired of movies, they obviously want long form shows like West World and Game of Thrones and True Detective oops lol forget that last one they shit that up with the writers doing weird shit. Anyway, so what I'm thinking is that we have a TV show where Yoda's force ghost is now a woman, because Yoda was a woman all this time. And Boba Fett will be a FtM.) until her contract expires and then Disney will test the waters; I want to say with a one-off Obi Wan-type movie.
Essentially this.
:offtopic: But one more He-Man Note:
One other reasons to go off the Filmation/MotU continuity is I believe all the OG voice actors are still alive and available.
In 2016, toymake Super7 was releasing new adult-collector aimed toys, and promoted this with a new Orginal Series episode with the original cast using the original animation guides.
But thye aren't getting any younger, so if you're going to wring max nostalgia pandering, its now or never.
Would explain some things.
I was talking with a friend about nuWars, and how the best thing for the new Trilogy would have been just to have it set after all the OT people had come legend - Maybe have the Original cast in something lower key, a one-shot film or maybe a mini-series.
Which is hard, because TLJ was our last possible to see all the O.G.'s together in a numbered. And thinking about it, I think that's what real crime of the Prequels were. In 2000, none of the original mains were in their prime, but they weren't geriatric either, and we could have had a decent reunion project.
My thoughts exactly.
Its a shame both films are owned by Disney now... Wait... It just donned on me that Disney now owns Ice Age too. Sweet fuck someone stop the madness.



Anyway, back to the shitty IX filler book. Apparently these not-Elomins were actually created as replacements for Twi'leks. You also see them on the three major planets of the film, not-Tatooine, Kijimi, and the Resistance planet yet not a single twilek despite this book claiming that twi'leks visit not-tatooine, they just didn't visit it this year. Like Twi'leks they are valued as dancing girls.
1577514836616.png


And the ugly four-eyed insect bird horse seen on Tatooine at the end was also on not-Tatooine. So we see shit from the Disney era on old era worlds but we can't see stuff from the old era on new era worlds?
 
View attachment 1070437
'Rian, you broke the unwritten law, you shat on the fans. When you do that Rian, the normies don't respect ya, and you got no fans no more! You got nobody Rian...'

....Goddamn it, now I want to see Rian Johnson get his ass kicked by Los Locos.


Getting there. Technically it's more of a burning tungsten saber, but that's cooler than nothing.

That is a fucking Heat Sword from Gundam. Not a Ligjhtsaber.
Fucking badass, but not the same thing.
 
Who're these guys? Are they from Solo?
Imperial Army soldiers. Back in the good ol' days, West End Games came up with these guys to fill out the Imperial ranks and introduce a gameplay distinction between Stormtroopers (elite space marines who are not to be fucked with, at least at lower levels) and regular Imperial grunts (target practice for the PCs). A lot of fans profess to hate them because they've got it into their heads that Stormtroopers should be the only Imperial soldier-type, but as we've seen, that leads to some pretty serious "Villain Decay" pretty quickly. Bringing them into "canon" in Solo was one of the few unambiguously good things Disney has done with the franchise, IMHO (even if it was only because they couldn't figure out how to get Ehren Aldenreich to emote behind a Stormtrooper helmet, apparently).

Anyway, back to the shitty IX filler book. Apparently these not-Elomins were actually created as replacements for Twi'leks. You also see them on the three major planets of the film, not-Tatooine, Kijimi, and the Resistance planet yet not a single twilek despite this book claiming that twi'leks visit not-tatooine, they just didn't visit it this year. Like Twi'leks they are valued as dancing girls.
View attachment 1070478
I can't believe they actually had women in bikinis in a Disney Wars film.
 
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So the son of a gun is finally starting to perfect the protosabers. Odan-Urr would be proud.
View attachment 1070471
Just a wee bit longer now...


Doesn't surprise me. From the get-go I said this movie would not do worse than Solo but it will definitely not do TFA numbers, maybe not even TLJ. I personally kept saying it would make around 700mil, which would still be disastrous for a main SW film, especially one falsely advertised as the last one. But even then, this is still Clown World so even if it flat out bombs, I can see Disney/Kennedy finding someway to treat this as a victory and fuck shit up even worse. But I'm inclined to believe what you say as a likely scenario.


Essentially this.

Would explain some things.

My thoughts exactly.

Its a shame both films are owned by Disney now... Wait... It just donned on me that Disney now owns Ice Age too. Sweet fuck someone stop the madness.



Anyway, back to the shitty IX filler book. Apparently these not-Elomins were actually created as replacements for Twi'leks. You also see them on the three major planets of the film, not-Tatooine, Kijimi, and the Resistance planet yet not a single twilek despite this book claiming that twi'leks visit not-tatooine, they just didn't visit it this year. Like Twi'leks they are valued as dancing girls.
View attachment 1070478

And the ugly four-eyed insect bird horse seen on Tatooine at the end was also on not-Tatooine. So we see shit from the Disney era on old era worlds but we can't see stuff from the old era on new era worlds?

Straight dawg time: Do you think they're ever going to have Twi'leks again? I don't.
 
That's also because comics and books are written only by a single person usually without any kind of quality control. It's why you get really bad awkward woke moments, but you also sometimes get the author inserting their /d/ fetishes in there as well. Pic related (the literal who blue checkmark is the author btw):
View attachment 1070468View attachment 1070467
That's right, this book is canon, but things like the Heir to the Empire trilogy or Shadows of the Empire are not. I remember when Disney nullified the EU, there were a lot of shills on full damage control, who all of a sudden claimed that the EU was terrible and deserved to get trashed. Well this is what we got, people.

In current cannon, Cuck Wendig's self insert is dead. (BTW, anyone have a clip of his bearded character getting wasted?)

I sort of feel the general direction of where Cuck is coming from with that r`tarded tweet, even if he's trying to make it in the stupidest possible way: Sometimes you just want just want tell a story with a character in it without having to deal with consequences or making it fit; you just want to have Vader going Dark Lord of the Sith on a hallway full of fleet troopers trying to get a data disc out without having to consult ship blue prints to make sure he took the right route to get there or address how he bypassed the automated defenses & pressure doors.
And that's fine. That's what "What if" stories are for.
Also sometimes you publish literal children's stories. And that's fine. I don't think "Darth Vader and Friends" as a cute (man)children's book needs to hold to canon, but it also shouldn't be considered canon.


But ol' jizz-beard Cuck soyface forgets that is without fairly rigorously enforced canon, there are no established characters or scenarios to borrow from for your what-ifs and your just-above-fanfic wankfests.

Take all the horrible Dr. Aphra shit being posted. Vader is being constantly cucked, outwitted, out-manuevered, out foxed, out-forced, reduced to fucking Darth Klaw to yelling 'I'll get you next time, Strong, Smart, and Beautiful Females!' as he's beaten with little effort and the heroes escape. How is Vader going to be viewed as a threat when he's getting clowned on & ordered about constantly?

Canon is there so readers know what to expect from from a story, to keep writers from being lazy shits and pulling shit out of their ass without thinking about how it fits into a wider narrative. So of course Cuck Wendig hates it & being expected to conform to it.



And of course Cuck Wendig also believes history is full of "retcons" since he's from the side trying to erase & rewrite history so we can make sure we've always been at war with Eastasia.
 
People are now insisting the prequels are good movies, so anything's possible when recency bias can blind you.
I think a lot of people mellowed on the prequels because they became embedded in a pretty decent EU. Now when they see the characters and plot elements, it's hard to divorce them from the video games, shows and books that came after. With the way the new EU has been going, I don't think Disney SW will be that lucky, but who knows.
 
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