so, i thought, i need something definitive if i was to get anywhere. poetry is something i like to think i have a knack for, so i had a try at making a love poem. i dont think it was bad, i tried to keep it from turning into a typical cheesy overly romantic love poem, but kept it eloquent and i had some genuine thoughts and opinions within it, about how i felt about her. even then i doubted if it would be a good idea to give it to her, but i was at the point where i was desperate for any reaction at all. it was probably the first time that i had explicitly made my feelings clear to a girl, and i still was apprehensive about it, so i made it annonymous, typed it on computer, and slipped it under her bedroom door when she was out. if her reaction to it was positive, perhaps i could tell her i wrote it.
that was last night. today, i got my reaction. of all the reactions i had considered, total alienation wasnt one of them. apparently, they got together and decided i must have been the one who wrote it, seeing as the girl is avoiding speaking to me, and the rest seem somewhat evasive. none have raised the matter directly to my face, and i cant raise it without showing i knew of the poem. i thought they'd have at least thought it was the other guy who likes her who'd made it, im not the only one who's realised how much he clings to her, but he must've got in before i could and asserted he had no part to play in the poem making. he seems to be enjoying my apparent defeat, think i may have heard him say something along the lines of "he would deny it anyway if you asked him" after i walked out of a room.
