Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Ghostse]

Interesting thunk. There was a floated rumor that Rian's trilogy depended on the reaction score (audience?) to ROS. I always thought it was dumb rumor as he has nothing to do with the newest installment. I'd say that it's JJ scamming a bigger percentage point gross bonus from the mouse before Rian getting a trilogy,

Read the following scenario, then close your eyes and really try to picture it.
Imagine you are a hedge fund manager. You've got a HBS MBA, you manage a fund worth a few billion dollars. You have staff and researchers, but ultimately when it comes to picking where your fund's several billions are allocated, YOU make the decision. You got here because, well, daddy was rich but as importantly you've managed to pick stocks that weren't terrible investments. You have a watch that costs more some small countries, a private jet, and the NYC apartment that you use as a glorified hotel room where you go to bang your mistress is larger than the apartment the average family of four. You are at work nearly 24 hours a day. You have been ready to respond to market changes at a moment's notice, because at your scale a delay of seconds might mean millions of dollars lost. It is high pressure and high stress.

Now, keep that image in mind, and consider the answer to this question:
In this scenario, do you think you have you ever actually watched Star Wars?


Disney is juicing the BO & RT numbers to pacify the investors, so they can pitch the film as not a complete abject failure. It is very unlikely JJ has any sort of performance-based compensation besides a piece of the BO gross. Star Wars nerds are not controlling tens of billions in assets and can't directly cause Disney's stock price to tank.
The guys running Fidelity's funds do and can. So Disney just has to have numbers at their meetings and give assurances to their research guys that Disney is still a safe place to park their investment cash.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
View attachment 1072724

Actually I've got an even better reply:
This is how Disney should compare the performance to shareholders:

A 5e8 increase!

 

[Creep3r]

The Force may have been a bit too strong.
Multiple “Star Wars” fans have reported suffering from seizures after watching the latest franchise installment, “The Rise of Skywalker.”

‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ Gives Audiences Epileptic Seizures

Multiple “Star Wars” fans have reported suffering from seizures after watching the latest episode of the Star Wars franchise, “The Rise of Skywalker.”

sputniknews.com

‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ is giving people seizures

The Force may have been a bit too strong. Multiple “Star Wars” fans have reported suffering from seizures after watching the latest franchise installment, “The Rise of Skywalker.&…

nypost.com

The Rise of Skywalker Caused SEIZURES!

Despite warnings from Disney, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker has apparently caused seizures in some moviegoers. And no, not because of Reylo. Links - https...

www.youtube.com

"Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker" Is Causing Seizures

The special effects in the new 'Star Wars' can be too much to handle. According to the New York Post, the newest installment in the Star Wars franchise, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is causing fans to suffer from seizures. [[hhembed{'twitter':'1209135494468116482'}]] “It lasted from 30 sec...

www.hotnewhiphop.com

 

[Duck Duck TUUURN]

I've been reading and sympathizing with a lot of the criticisms here, but there is still one absolutely baffling thing about TFA that I've never heard anyone bring up ever, and that's the way they used Max von Sydow. When I heard he was going to be in Star Wars, I was eager to see him portray an old force wizard or maybe a villain, but instead he get's cut down in the opening scene and is never mentioned again.

I remember it shocking me in the theater. That's it for Max? Ok, well, that was a complete waste of talent.

 

[Tsusaba109]

Disney shills went absolutely all out on this movie lol, don't trust any box office "analysis" on this movie they're all ignorant. You can't compare the first 10 days of this vs first 10 days of TLJ and get something meaningful out of it because of how different the Christmas holidays are positioned with the release date of the films.

However the second weekend still wasn't as bad as it could have been (only 59% drop, I was hoping for 65%) so it will probably go above a billion and it has a decent chance of going above Rogue One. 1.1b worldwide is still pretty bad though and about half of TFA

 

[DumbDude42]

‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ Gives Audiences Epileptic Seizures

Multiple “Star Wars” fans have reported suffering from seizures after watching the latest episode of the Star Wars franchise, “The Rise of Skywalker.”

sputniknews.com

‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ is giving people seizures

The Force may have been a bit too strong. Multiple “Star Wars” fans have reported suffering from seizures after watching the latest franchise installment, “The Rise of Skywalker.&…

nypost.com

The Rise of Skywalker Caused SEIZURES!

Despite warnings from Disney, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker has apparently caused seizures in some moviegoers. And no, not because of Reylo. Links - https...

www.youtube.com

"Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker" Is Causing Seizures

The special effects in the new 'Star Wars' can be too much to handle. According to the New York Post, the newest installment in the Star Wars franchise, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is causing fans to suffer from seizures. [[hhembed{'twitter':'1209135494468116482'}]] “It lasted from 30 sec...

www.hotnewhiphop.com

View attachment 1073062

will disney now get sued by kurt eichenwald?

 

[Comicsgeist]

Here's Grace to deliver the bad news to the Fandom Menace that TROS is tracking only 6 million behind TLJ and it's looking good for a billion worldwide.

Edit: LOL, I re-added the video timestamped (hopefully at 2:33) when even Grace is taking the piss out of the sad sacks that hatewatched the movie or went knowing it would be shit.

 

[Tsusaba109]

Here's Grace to deliver the bad news to the Fandom Menace that TROS is tracking only 6 million behind TLJ and it's looking good for a billion worldwide.

TROS holiday boosts are almost over, and at this time TLJ holiday boosts didn't even begin.December 16th release date vs December 9th release date. You can't just compare the first 10 days lol. This movie will not tail the last jedi, 1.1 billion is the best case scenario now,the absolute top. Below a billion, is almost impossible because even if it gets close Disney will make sure it reaches a billion they've done this before, they will not take a movie out for months and just sell discounted tickets or in bulk with other movies to reach a desired number/record.

 

[Oaat]

It's part for the course. They have the brand so they "tecnically can do whatever they want"

I think E;R said it best when he called it corporate-sanctioned thievery. A Star Wars canon existed for 37 years, but because Disney got the brand they get to shit up everything and if you have the gall to complain, people will smugly tell you "well it's the real canon now, not that legends stuff."

Soooooooooooo. Let me get this straight:
They retconned the original explanation, that it only worked due to the Raddus' experimental shields (in itself a retcon to the movie), so now the distance is what made it so special and hard to duplicate? Bitch. Fucking. Please.

If anything, this makes it even easier to duplicate. For comparison:

The moon is (on average) ~384,402km (~238,856 miles) away from the earth. That is 1.282 light seconds.
In 1969, a reflective surface was put on the moon to measure this via a laser and the precision of that method back then was a deviation by at most 15 cm (6 inches). That is less than 0.0000000004%.
Nowadays, we are able to calculate the distance of the moon up to a precision of within 1 milimetre (or <0.04 inches). Less than 0.0000000000003%.

And now these chucklefucks tell me Star Wars spaceships with their futuretech can't just do the same, like it would be a giant fucking obstacle to come up with a targeting system that calculates the perfect distance to perform the jump and then just fuck shit up.

Even the old, silly explanation from the TLJ novelization about the experimental shields was better, since you could argue that it's a special kind of large shield emitter that needs copious amounts of energy that only a capital ship can generate, then -and only then- would it make a tiny amount of sense to not built such a weapon (but it would still make any ship larger than a standard Capital ship useless, since it can be light-speed-rammed with ease). It's still not a good explanation, since miniaturisation of such tech would be the single most important endeavour of any Navy within the galaxy, but it at least would explain why you don't see X-Wings just ram entire fleets of Star Destroyers into oblivion. And that is assuming the novel even gives such a reason. Afaik, it only goes "The experimental shields caused the damage on Snoke's ship" but they don't mention that the shields can't be used on a smaller craft.

But even if we are lead to believe that the precision needed for such a ramming to be successful is far greater than what a Star Wars ship sensor is able to do, then how lucky was Holdo to get it right on her first and only attempt? Even with this explanation, it's still a massive contrivance in the plot.

I have to give it to Ruin Johnson, one scene, most likely one of the most stunning looking in the entire trilogy, is the single biggest fuckup in the entire franchise and even after 2+ years, Disney is still struggling to cover it up.

To think that Disney gloated so much about that supposed "plot hole" of the Death Star exhaust hole, where they even make an entire movie to explain how that hole was created to sabotage the Death Star and now we have... this.

They should have gone with this:
The hyperspace tracker was vulnerable to hyperspace-based attacks.
There I fixed it.

 

[HandsomeDan]

The other thing I noticed is that it says the "deaths" of Vader and Sidious ended the Sith conspiracy. It's very odd wording, you'd think that the timeline would just outright state "near-death" when it comes to Palps.

Thats another thing they clearly dont understand. The Rebels were not fighting to win on Hoth. The battle was only to stall the Imperials so the transports could escape. They knew they couldnt win. Thats why the whole crait battle is so stupid and makes no sense. They were just copying the look and basic components of Hoth, without understanding the why. I guess I will just sum it up the way we all know, the ST films and everything that happens in them are simply complete shit.

 

[Stab You in the Back]

The thing about Disney "fixing" the "mistake" of Chewbacca not getting a medal,

Questions that didn't need answers:
-Where was Chewie's medal at the end of Star Wars?
-How were the plans to the Death Star stolen?
-How did Han Solo get his last name?
-Did Emperor Palpatine have sex?

Thanks, Disney!

 

[BrunoMattei]

Box Office Mojo lists a worldwide gross as $704 million. Which would make it a bomb. I assume for this thing to break even it would have had to have made 1.2 billion in the first 2 weeks.

 

[ASoulMan]

You really gotta enjoy the ignorance of the so called "fans"

Cause you know, it wasn't like people didnt like Dark Empire even back in the day. Or how it was made before the prequels even existed so the whole Chosen One prophecy wasn't relevant at the time. Or how despite its story it does the most basic thing that TROS fails to do as a story; Explain how fucking Palpatine survived his fall AND the destruction of the second Death Star.

Stay classy DT shills.

 

[Commander X]

 

[Creep3r]

Questions that didn't need answers:
-Where was Chewie's medal at the end of Star Wars?
-How were the plans to the Death Star stolen?
-How did Han Solo get his last name?
-Did Emperor Palpatine have sex?

Thanks, Disney!

Where was Chewie's medal at the end of Star Wars?

Its not something that people were dying to know and is best left to some comic or Q&A, not some fucking movie scene by a director that arrogantly pretends he's "fixing" something that was never an error.

How were the plans to the Death Star stolen?

Only way that shit ever worked was as a video game because it made you feel like you were the one who stole the plans rather than watching Mini-Kennedy and the Diversity Squad do it. All the while said squad taking credit for fixing the "massive plot hole" that was the Death Star's weak point that was never even a plot hole to begin with. While said film instead creates newer plot holes by dismissing the start of ANH stating that the plans were secretly beamed aboard the Tantive IV during its political mission which allowed for the plausible deniability thanks to its status as a consular ship, and instead replacing that by showing some guy take the damn plans in hand while Vader watched him run straight to the Tantive IV as they escaped right in front of him.

How did Han Solo get his last name?

Can't have a cool name be the character's real name! Gotta make sure to cuck him and pussify him at every turn!

Hell they even changed Lando's name. How long until Disney reveals Luke is actually named Jake and we simply "misheard" Padme when she fucking named him?

 

[Oaat]

You really gotta enjoy the ignorance of the so called "fans"

View attachment 1073201

Cause you know, it wasn't like people didnt like Dark Empire even back in the day. Or how it was made before the prequels even existed so the whole Chosen One prophecy wasn't relevant at the time. Or how despite its story it does the most basic thing that TROS fails to do as a story; Explain how fucking Palpatine survived his fall AND the destruction of the second Death Star.

Stay classy DT shills.

Dark Empire had Luke interacting with Palpatine, which could have happened in the OT if Lucas hadn't decided to stop at RotJ. It didn't bring Palpatine back only to have him beaten by randos with no personal investment or stakes in his defeat.

 

[The handsome tard]

I agree. Nothing short of retconning the sequel trilogy out of existence and getting back to basics is going to save Star Wars. Nobody outside of the SJW/left-wing crowd wanted to see Luke, Han, and Leia destroyed like this. The best thing to do would be to throw out the Abrams/Johnson/Kennedy canon, pick up from Return of the Jedi, and let the characters progress in a direction that's consistent with what the original films established. It doesn't have to be a carbon copy of the old EU (and really, it shouldn't), but it absolutely needs to be something that honors what came before and stays true to the characters as they were. Do that, and Star Wars will be a huge moneymaker again.

And frankly, with Carrie Fisher gone and Mark Hamill being such a left-wing weirdo these days, I don't think too many people would be opposed to seeing new actors in the classic roles provided the stories are good.

Doesnt help that Mark and Ford arent getting any younger. Its unlikely they will ever play Luke and Han live action again in their life times, the magic is gone for Mark and Ford may be getting sick of it even with the fat checks.
Disney ruined what would be a perfect send off for the classic heroes and actors of OG star wars...both the heroes and actors would properly "retire" and move on with their lives with the circle properly closed.

And honest to God, I dont think even erasing the sequel trilogy would work because it still existed either way. We know Disney truly doesnt care for the integrity of the series, only its profitability (and before someone says anything, I think that the correct order is to put love and care into a project to which people will also share that love and will pay you to get more of that love and care. Disney has it backwards, tho its obviously done out of ego and naivity that it could run on brand recognition alone)

I think E;R said it best when he called it corporate-sanctioned thievery. A Star Wars canon existed for 37 years, but because Disney got the brand they get to shit up everything and if you have the gall to complain, people will smugly tell you "well it's the real canon now, not that legends stuff."

Thats the thing, Disney loves to act like they are respecting the legacy but they love to mock the legacy and then poorly copy the stuff they said aint canon anymore for the sole purpose that it was "convoluted", "farfetched" and "inconsistent" when Legends had those but only after around nearly 40 years of comics, games and books...Disney's canon has the same amount of those things in a mere DECADE! I dare even say more since Legends had golden piles with some turds here and there to scrap away, with Disney is like looking for MMs inside a big turd, even if you find some enjoyment, was it worth it?
This type of corporate arrogance and lack of care is what just turned me off from the franchise at this point, not even the Mandalorian is enough to get me back....well,a baby yoda plushie and thats it for me.

 

[Cyril Sneer]

I only take one exception to the above and that's concerning your statement regarding West End Game's RPG: I'd argue that, if anything, that by the end of its run WEG was becoming quite balanced towards any type of PC that the player would want to create. You wanted a bounty hunter? Cool. A Jedi? Fine. Smuggler? Fantastic! Diplomat? Have fun! Starfighter pilot? Vroom-Vroom! Annoying Squib? ...OK? Bimm Bard? ...Fine? Galactic Big Game Hunter? ...Have fun hunting? Industrial Espionage Agent? ...Are you jiving me? Rodian Dramatist? ...Now I know you're jokin-

Wait a moment. The last five were templates that came from Heroes and Rogues, a supplement for the game.

Don't get me wrong, you're right here... from a certain point of view. Yes, goddammit, I had to go there.

LOL

I'll be the first to acknowledge the tremendous amount of heavy-lifting that WEG did in laying most of the foundations for the Expanded Universe. Timothy Zahn's first move when writing the seminal Heir to the Empire was to basically lock himself in a room with a bunch of WEG sourcebooks for weeks on end, after all.

I do think they were expecting a number of players to just make Hong Kong Han Solo. But I feel it was more they were excepting people to rip off the main cast, famous supporting characters, and famous EU characters during character creation. They also give a shitload of other options as well as free reign to do what they wanted as long as the gamemaster and the game itself supported it.

The Han Solo thing came from a description of the game from some old grognard that I stumbled across a while back (I think it was on the "Vintage Geek Culture" Tumblr blog but I haven't been able to find it again): that Han Solo was so popular in the SW fandom prior to the Prequels that WEG operated under the expectation that most players (albeit certainly not all) would want to RP as some variant of Han Solo, whether that be Pirate Han Solo, Imperial Han Solo, Alien Han Solo, Girl Han Solo (this last one specifically referencing WEG's recurring smuggler NPC, Platt O'Keefe) and so on and so forth.

I don't think some people give WEG enough credit when it comes to how creative they were and I don't mean the important parts that they added to the grander tapestry that is Star Wars.

I've mentioned before that one of the few redeeming bits of Solo for me was that it finally put WEG's criminally under-utilized Imperial Army onscreen.

Love those guys.

And don't get me wrong, the 1st Edition started off as being essentially 'You're Rebels or Rebel-Aligned or Just Taking Jobs for the Rebels' and that was that. As the game grew along the way it allowed players to explore so many other options. Hell, they eventually started to support Imperial campaigns which they were initially non-supportive of (either a choice of their own or it was Lucasfilms who originally didn't allow them to do so*).

*If I'm not mistaken, Lucasfilms and Lucasarts weren't originally all that fond over the idea of the video game TIE Fighter. Sucks to be them.

All the way up to rules for commanding your own Imperial Navy sector battle-group*. I'd love to hear some stories about campaigns that lasted that long.

*I'm sad that we never got a Star Wars FPS where the player-character was a Stormtrooper, though.

I think E;R said it best when he called it corporate-sanctioned thievery. A Star Wars canon existed for 37 years, but because Disney got the brand they get to shit up everything and if you have the gall to complain, people will smugly tell you "well it's the real canon now, not that legends stuff."

This is honestly one of the things that pisses me off the most about Nu-fans. Like Disney suddenly, magically has a better grip on what constitutes Star Wars than Lucas himself because they gave him money. People used to compose fables about how buying something doesn't make you the master of it, for God's sake.

Cause you know, it wasn't like people didnt like Dark Empire even back in the day. Or how it was made before the prequels even existed so the whole Chosen One prophecy wasn't relevant at the time. Or how despite its story it does the most basic thing that TROS fails to do as a story; Explain how fucking Palpatine survived his fall AND the destruction of the second Death Star.

Plus, it had some level of imprimatur from Lucas himself, who (according to legend, anyway) apparently felt it was amusing enough to distribute copies around the LFL offices.

 

[Creep3r]

You really gotta enjoy the ignorance of the so called "fans"

View attachment 1073201

Cause you know, it wasn't like people didnt like Dark Empire even back in the day. Or how it was made before the prequels even existed so the whole Chosen One prophecy wasn't relevant at the time. Or how despite its story it does the most basic thing that TROS fails to do as a story; Explain how fucking Palpatine survived his fall AND the destruction of the second Death Star.

Stay classy DT shills.

This is made all the more ironic since reversing it fits the shills better. The exact opposite was pretty much what happened with shills like HelloGreedo. When pre-Disney did it, they raged hard, even to the point of outright hating or denouncing anything that wasn't Disney approved regardless of what it was, but when Disney goes and does the exact same shit they turn a blind eye to it.

 

[Ghostse]

‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ Gives Audiences Epileptic Seizures

Multiple “Star Wars” fans have reported suffering from seizures after watching the latest episode of the Star Wars franchise, “The Rise of Skywalker.”

sputniknews.com

‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ is giving people seizures

The Force may have been a bit too strong. Multiple “Star Wars” fans have reported suffering from seizures after watching the latest franchise installment, “The Rise of Skywalker.&…

nypost.com

The Rise of Skywalker Caused SEIZURES!

Despite warnings from Disney, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker has apparently caused seizures in some moviegoers. And no, not because of Reylo. Links - https...

www.youtube.com

"Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker" Is Causing Seizures

The special effects in the new 'Star Wars' can be too much to handle. According to the New York Post, the newest installment in the Star Wars franchise, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is causing fans to suffer from seizures. [[hhembed{'twitter':'1209135494468116482'}]] “It lasted from 30 sec...

www.hotnewhiphop.com

View attachment 1073062

Imagine watching Plan 9, and then suddenly you have a seizure and you're spared having to watch any more of the film. Some people are just born lucky.