"I look healthier at 28 than I did at 21..."
You definitely don't. Those pictures of you before you went all Nice Guy and lost your friends show you at a much cleaner, happier, sober time. It's like the Portrait of Dorian Gray but you fucked that up and got it backwards, with some photo in your parents attic living happily ever after with a wife, two kids, and a dog.
The fact that he believes he's healthier and looks better now than in those photos is an alarming indication of his alarming disconnect from reality.
And "Karma on Dragon 5" is probably "Why I Sued Taylor Swift" with the word "space" before every noun. "Taylor had a devilish look in her eyes. 'Let's get... space-ice cream!' she said. 'Driver,' I said to the chauffeur of the space-limo, 'take us to Planet Cold Stone!'. Also Kiara has space-AIDS."