Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Vault Boy]

It gets even worse when you actually check out the bios for Holdo's planet (one of these entries is in a Kennedy-approved book called "Women of the Galaxy"). It is literally the Californian college campus planet, strictly vegan (they prefer soy and that's not a joke), like writing shitty poetry, crying in public is considered a virtue, women are dominant in numbers and roles, they are ruled by a Council of Mommies, they openly practiced astrology, and they have a juvenile and naive world view that doesn't take into account the nature of consequences such as if anyone (even if its a powerful political delegate or crime lord) shows up to their territory they will capture them if they have slaves without even realizing the dangerously stupid repercussions of this (but its fine and it all works out because Disney). The only thing Holdo rebelled against was her people's fashion sense which was grey clothing only and no hair dyes, which was honestly an almost psychotic habit of Holdo's who had to change her hair color every day or she would freak out, to the point of killing small animals and plants and using their bodily juices just to change her hair, but even her planet is now adopting that trait in honor of her fucking death. Also her planet has more suns than Tatooine but its fine...

That planet sounds like it could do with a Rakghoul infestation, followed by a Base Delta Zero cleansing just to be safe.

Or for some delicious irony, have some ships perform hyperspeed kamikazes on the planet to see what happens.

 

[Jaimas]

Apparently Mark Hamill has been pandering to Reylos and FinnPoes on Twitter and justifying their idiotic behavior. Now these shippertards will never shut the fuck up or stop acting entitled as fuck. They've been going extra crazy over Ren's death and how "insulting" it was that Reylo died and FinnPoe never existed. FFS of all the things they could be complaining about, they choose idiotic romances from bland characters that never should've even existed in the first place.

To be fair, would you have any fucks to give at this point?

 

[Creep3r]

This is from the TLJ dictionary but honestly it just makes everything seem even worse. The big nosed lesbian from IX was apparently in TLJ. She is from a planet that hates the New Republic because of some individuality bullshit but they wanted to join Leia's Resistance. Leia loved the planet for priding itself for its individuality and independence... So Gatalenta and Warlentta... the two planets you gotta watch out for.

/tv/ already shat on this furiously 2 years ago.

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Also according to this, Holdo's halo is supposed to represent the many suns of her planet. There are six rings in that halo... Does that mean her planet has six suns?

 

[Ginger Piglet]

The decade where Disney raped a beloved franchise with their own ego and personal socio-political nonsense and instead of making money on it they wasted more money than what they paid for to rape this franchise with over 2.2 billion dollars in losses and wasting over 4 billion (exactly what they paid to get this shit) on an awful and broken park that some genius decided not to base on anything from the franchise itself while throwing in Rey and a blue dangerhair on a 24 hour period.

It gets even worse when you actually check out the bios for Holdo's planet (one of these entries is in a Kennedy-approved book called "Women of the Galaxy"). It is literally the Californian college campus planet, strictly vegan (they prefer soy and that's not a joke), like writing shitty poetry, crying in public is considered a virtue, women are dominant in numbers and roles, they are ruled by a Council of Mommies, they openly practiced astrology, and they have a juvenile and naive world view that doesn't take into account the nature of consequences such as if anyone (even if its a powerful political delegate or crime lord) shows up to their territory they will capture them if they have slaves without even realizing the dangerously stupid repercussions of this (but its fine and it all works out because Disney). The only thing Holdo rebelled against was her people's fashion sense which was grey clothing only and no hair dyes, which was honestly an almost psychotic habit of Holdo's who had to change her hair color every day or she would freak out, to the point of killing small animals and plants and using their bodily juices just to change her hair, but even her planet is now adopting that trait in honor of her fucking death. Also her planet has more suns than Tatooine but its fine...

I thought you were just making this up, but no, it is real. It's on the wiki. The planet of crunchy granola is called Galatenta. They practice meditation by climbing scaffolding with scarves and, of course, Admiral Dangerhair just happened to teach this practice to Princess Leia on it because of course she did.

EDIT:

planet has six suns?

Not impossible. However, it's unlikely that they're in orbit about all six as a primary (i.e. Galatenta ABCDEF 1, 2, 3, etc.) More likely it'd be three binary pairs all in orbit about each other and Galatenta would be in turn in orbit about two of them, or it'd orbit the main pair and the tertiary to sixth-ranked stars would be very distant like how Alpha Centauri A and B are a binary pair with a few planets most likely about them, and Proxima at an orbital distance of 0.22 LY. These suns would be too dim and distant to appear as anything other than stars bright enough to see in daylight.

 

[Creep3r]

They practice meditation by climbing scaffolding with scarves

Wait what? So they're suicidal too...?

Edit:

Not impossible. However, it's unlikely that they're in orbit about all six as a primary (i.e. Galatenta ABCDEF 1, 2, 3, etc.) More likely it'd be three binary pairs all in orbit about each other and Galatenta would be in turn in orbit about two of them, or it'd orbit the main pair and the tertiary to sixth-ranked stars would be very distant like how Alpha Centauri A and B are a binary pair with a few planets most likely about them, and Proxima at an orbital distance of 0.22 LY. These suns would be too dim and distant to appear as anything other than stars bright enough to see in daylight.

You're right in that its not impossible and this would be the best way to go about it as planets in old lore had similar orbits, but in regards to Disney shit, I wouldn't be surprised if Holdo's planet literally has a bunch of boiling hot suns around it and the planet is magically protected from it thanks to their astrology powers or for no real reason at all.

 

[Based Papa John]

Here's a video that my friend sent me by HelloGreedo:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O18RcKy6sc

His point is that the fandom has been saying the same thing for years: "X ruined Star Wars," so we just need to chill.

To a certain extent, he's right. However, the problem with his presentation is that he seems to imply that legitimate criticism amounts to fan whining. To be fair, the video was made several months before the release of RoS, but my point still stands.

Doomcock points out here, quite correctly, that the Sequel Trilogy does effectively "ruin" Star Wars as a cohesive moral narrative regarding heroism, individual courage, and the possibility of redemption.

Rise of Skywalker Review | Disney Star Wars is Not Star Wars

Corporations have the legal right to establish canon for purchased franchises moving forward, but do they have the moral right to retroactively destroy our m...

www.youtube.com

tl;dw: The Skywalker family arc becomes the Palpatine arc. Instead of the story of a tragic hero falling to the dark side to be redeemed by his son who avoids the mistakes of his father, the sequels makes the SW franchise the ultimate triumph of evil. Palpatine just plays the long game in order that he might be able to crush the Skywalkers that threaten to undo him. Because of the poor cut of this film, there is no indication as to whether or not Palpatine actually indwells Rey or not. Because there is no indication that Palpatine is lying, we can only assume that he does indwell Rey since he wanted her to strike him down in order to make that possible. I don't think that JJ/Kennedy/Johnson/Iger/whoever intended it to be this way, but because of their slipshod, flippant approach to this whole ordeal, that's what they have created.

 

[Vault Boy]

This is from the TLJ dictionary but honestly it just makes everything seem even worse. The big nosed lesbian from IX was apparently in TLJ. She is from a planet that hates the New Republic because of some individuality bullshit but they wanted to join Leia's Resistance. Leia loved the planet for priding itself for its individuality and independence... So Gatalenta and Warlentta... the two planets you gotta watch out for.

Ok, so that's two planets to infest with Rakghouls and cleanse with Base Delta Zero, or hyperspeed kamikaze for fun.

Does the exceptionalism end here, or are there other planets in dire need of cleansing?

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Wait what? So they're suicidal too...?

Edit:

You're right in that its not impossible and this would be the best way to go about it as planets in old lore had similar orbits, but in regards to Disney shit, I wouldn't be surprised if Holdo's planet literally has a bunch of boiling hot suns around it and the planet is magically protected from it thanks to their astrology powers or for no real reason at all.

Because everything in Disney Wars has to be bigger, cooler, or better than anything in OT or PT (i.e. Death Star, Starkiller Base, Death Star Destroyers, First Order capital ships are twice as big as Imperial ones, Kylo Ren has a more unusual light sabre than anyone else, etc.) they probably would have a sextuple star system of spectral types O, B, A, F, G, and K all as primaries casting six different shadows in six different colours. This is, of course, impossible. By the time the K-class is out of the protostar stage, that big deep blue O-class has burnt through all its hydrogen and is going into the red giant stage. Also, B and O stars give off tons of ionising radiation as well. Going out of doors on such a planet would be equivalent to several hundred hours in a tanning booth that also does full-body CT scans.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Spoiler

Again dayum Anakin.

He def has the high ground now lol. Him and Ahmed Best living their best lives while the current trilogy sinks more and more into failure.

I'm glad they were able to recover and even laugh at their roles.

This reminds me of Angelina Jolie jetting off to Europe to have fun with Michelle Pfeiffer living their best lives while Brad Pitt gets bloated and sulks alone.

 

[Creep3r]

Ok, so that's two planets to infest with Rakghouls and cleanse with Base Delta Zero, or hyperspeed kamikaze for fun.

Does the exceptionalism end here, or are there other planets in dire need of cleansing?

From what I understand there are a lot of planets like those now and they're all inhabited only by humans.

Also since you're a big fan of Filoni Wars, this might interest you. Remember the kaiju-inspired Zillo Beast? The creature that attacked Coruscant, was the last of its kind and whose scales were so tough they were immune to most weapons? I remember several of you once saying you were fans of this creature in the thread. Apparently it didn't die or Disney forgot it was the last of its kind and put it on a random planet and had Kylo Ren easily kill it with little effort while imitating the Hydra fight from Disney's Hercules because he's just that special...

Gotta make sure to shit on everything that came before for the sake of glorifying the new.

 

[verissimus]

So I'm gonna remember the 2010s as the decade where the single best film franchise became a laughingstock in all of about five years.

How about you?

That's how I feel about this decade : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsD4im7K3wg

 

[Table Country]

Ok, so that's two planets to infest with Rakghouls and cleanse with Base Delta Zero, or hyperspeed kamikaze for fun.

Does the exceptionalism end here, or are there other planets in dire need of cleansing?

I agree, the galaxy needs a new empire

 

[Godzilla@1989]

2019 was not a bright year for Disney regarding Star Wars.

Galaxy's Edge was a flop and Episode IX is on track to becoming the lowest grossing film of the trilogy while being the worst reviewed movie in the franchise next to Phantom Menace.

Time to see what lies for the franchise from tomorrow until the last day of 2029.

 

[Jaimas]

This is from the TLJ dictionary but honestly it just makes everything seem even worse. The big nosed lesbian from IX was apparently in TLJ. She is from a planet that hates the New Republic because of some individuality bullshit but they wanted to join Leia's Resistance. Leia loved the planet for priding itself for its individuality and independence... So Gatalenta and Warlentta... the two planets you gotta watch out for.
View attachment 1075931
/tv/ already shat on this furiously 2 years ago.

/tv/ - Television & Film » Thread #92287401

4plebs archives 4chan boards /adv/, /f/, /hr/, /o/, /pol/, [s4s], /sp/, /tg/, /trv/, /tv/ and /x/

archive.4plebs.org

Also according to this, Holdo's halo is supposed to represent the many suns of her planet. There are six rings in that halo... Does that mean her planet has six suns?

Things I've noticed about Holdo:

1. The fucking worship by the story group of Leia is real. Everything about Holdo reeks of fangirlism. More on this shortly.

2. Those of you who are keeping score at home with your Mary Sue scorecards, break them out: her pistol is more than just a blatant ripoff of Leia's sporting blaster from ANH. She uses - get this - an improved version of the exact same pistol. DDC standing for Drearian Defense Conglomerate. The thing is, the DDC Defender was a shitty underpowered civilian beam gun which Leia used because it was a weapon she could get away with carrying as a member of the senate. Holdo's version, naturally, has just as much punch as a regular blaster, despite the fact that by all accounts it shouldn't at that size. Add a point.

3. Add another point, because she's a friend of Leia's who's never established at any point in the lore but we're expected to know and be respectful of. Unless otherwise stopped they're going to shove this bitch into the next special edition release of the OT. Mark my words.

4. In fact, that one's two points because Alderaan is in a completely different area of the galaxy and a lot of Leia's history was well-established before Disney fucked it all up. So she couldn't have been friends with Holdo by the very fucking examples they list given her own history.

5. Add yet another point because she's basically a self-insert for one of the story group writers, Claudia Gray. That's not covered in the page but fuck it, I'm still eggnogged.

Meanwhile, lower in the dictionary:

....I have no words. Nothing I can say or do can make this any funnier than it already is.
It's a single letter edit though.

 

[StarkRavingMad]

Spoiler

View attachment 1075975

View attachment 1075977

View attachment 1075979
Again dayum Anakin.

He def has the high ground now lol. Him and Ahmed Best living their best lives while the current trilogy sinks more and more into failure.

View attachment 1075989

View attachment 1075990

I'm glad they were able to recover and even laugh at their roles.

This reminds me of Angelina Jolie jetting off to Europe to have fun with Michelle Pfeiffer living their best lives while Brad Pitt gets bloated and sulks alone.

Say what you will about Jar Jar Binks ... But this Robot Chicken moment made that character (and possibly the entire Prequel Trilogy) worth it to me:

"ANI BO BANI, WHATSA HAPPEN TO YOU?" will always kill me. Amazing. I read somewhere a while back that Ahmed Best, while working on this, asked Seth Green if he could be as obnoxious as possible for this sketch. Bless him. He's been able to laugh about Jar Jar for well over a decade now.

And, yeah, Hayden Christensen has aged amazingly well and has been continuously graceful towards the fans even though he got so much shit for the Prequels. He really tried to deliver a great performance as Anakin; in Revenge of the Sith, it was so easy to tell that he repeatedly watched the Original Trilogy to study David Prowse's body movements. It's such a shame that Lucas can't write good dialogue or properly direct his actors.

 

[Vault Boy]

From what I understand there are a lot of planets like those now and they're all inhabited only by humans.

Also since you're a big fan of Filoni Wars, this might interest you. Remember the kaiju-inspired Zillo Beast? The creature that attacked Coruscant, was the last of its kind and whose scales were so tough they were immune to most weapons? I remember several of you once saying you were fans of this creature in the thread. Apparently it didn't die or Disney forgot it was the last of its kind and put it on a random planet and had Kylo Ren easily kill it with little effort while imitating the Hydra fight from Disney's Hercules because he's just that special...
View attachment 1076006View attachment 1076015
Gotta make sure to shit on everything that came before for the sake of glorifying the new.

I remember how it took the Republic everything it had to pacify and later kill the Zillo Beast. So going by this comic, Kylo Ren's tough enough to kill that thing by himself (something that his grandfather couldn't accomplish), and yet he wasn't tough enough to beat someone that never held a lightsaber before?

Consistency? What's that?!

 

[Judge Holden]

Oooohohohoooboy.........

John Boyega on Twitter

“Star Wars romance 😗👀🙂”

twitter.com

Fellas this shit is happenin live so keep an eye on Ya Boyega's twitter because shit is getting jolly as hell there

 

[StarkRavingMad]

Oooohohohoooboy.........
View attachment 1076104

John Boyega on Twitter

“Star Wars romance 😗👀🙂”

twitter.com

Fellas this shit is happenin live so keep an eye on Ya Boyega's twitter because shit is getting jolly as hell there

Not all heroes wear capes.

This is hilarious. Boyega has been awesome while promoting the Rise of Skywalker. lol.

 

[Judge Holden]

OH FUCK NOW HES JOKERPOSTING AT THE SHIPPERS

John Boyega on Twitter

“https://t.co/ZCk4BAJY0h”

twitter.com

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

Fellas this shit is happenin live so keep an eye on Ya Boyega's twitter because shit is getting jolly as hell there

The Reylos are coming out of the woodwork. Ooh,boy. This gonna be good.