Honestly it's something EVERYONE should be frustrated about, and I'm about to repeat a rant I've gone on in the past for anyone who even ever feels even a tiny stir of guilt when someone plays that card (this is not aimed at you, Fingal):
You are NEVER wrong or bad for not being attracted to or wanting to have sex with someone.
You should NEVER feel guilty about not being attracted to or wanting to have sex with someone.
You NEVER have to justify to anyone in ANY situation why you're not attracted to or don't want to have sex with someone.
Anyone who says otherwise is using coercive tactics to try and convince you to say yes to sexual and romantic advances and situations that you are not comfortable with or would otherwise willingly enter into.
There is NEVER a single case or situation where coercing someone through guilt, force or deception into a sexual or romantic situation that they do not want to be in is justifiable.
If you think you have a situation you can present where you think coercing someone through guilt, force or deception into a sexual or romantic situation that they do not want to be in IS justifiable then you are a BAD PERSON who is WRONG and needs to reevaluate your perspective and priorities.
And no, that fact does not change if you think the reason someone is not interested in your romantically or sexually offensiveand it especially does not change if you think they'll like it or you if they just give it a chance (I nearly threw up a bit writing that sentence).
They are not wrong for not wanting to be sexually or romantically involved with anyone.
And you are not right for trying to convince someone to accept a sexual or romantic situation that they do not want.
There are no exceptions to this.
People who think there are exceptions are the people that can't take no for an answer. If you can't take no for an answer when in pursuit of a sexual or romantic entanglement you are a BAD PERSON who is WRONG.
If you find yourself asking someone who has said no to your romantic or sexual propositions "why" then you are looking for one of two things: a way to change their mind or a reason to get angry at them. I should not have to explain to anyone who is old enough to be pursuing sexual or romantic encounters why seeking either of these things is BAD.
When someone says no it is NEVER any of your business why and they NEVER have to justify it.
No means they're not interested and no is where it should end.
Attempting to change their mind after they've said no means you don't respect their boundaries or their choices, it means you care more about your romantic or sexual satisfaction than their comfort or feelings, it means (say it with me class) you are a BAD PERSON who is WRONG.
And I know the "counter" arguments and they're always the same. "No one's saying they have to sleep with/date them, just that their reason for not sleeping with/going out with/giving them a chance is wrong."
No it's not.
Because it doesn't matter what they say or the root of the reason or how it makes your feel; they have expressed that they don't want to enter into that romantic or sexual situation and they should not be rewarded or punished based on which combination of words YOU want to hear afterwards.
Pop Quiz Time! Let's see what you've learned:
Which of these reasons are wrong for not giving someone you met at the bar a "chance"?
a) I'm already seeing someone
b) I don't like vaginas/penises/blondes etc
c) I'm part of a dying native tribe and to keep our blood pure I only date other tribe members
d) I'm part of a whites only cult and to keep our blood pure I only date other cultist
e) I can't get it up after that many shots
f) I find the combination of a masculine jawline and stubble paired with double D's unattractive.
If your answer was any of these you're WRONG and a BAD PERSON (switched it up on you there). There are probably answers you don't like (although if you're asking in the first place and are honest with yourself, there's no answer anyone could give that you WOULD like) and probably ones that offend you, and you don't have to agree with their sentiment but all of them are RIGHT because they are all saying the same thing: I am not comfortable and/or willing to enter into this sexual/romantic situation.
If there is someone out there who doesn't want to get romantically or sexually involved with you whether it's because of you (your age, race, gender, fur affinity account sexuality, weight, looks, smell, education level, finances, personality, political alignment, mental illness, religion, opinion of the current weather, anything) or if it's because of them (past trauma, sexual preference, gender preference, religion, response to your personal smell, mental illness, physical illness, already in a relationship, doesn't date celebrities, only dates celebrities etc etc) literally none of it matters.
No reason is more right/wrong, more/less moral, more/less acceptable or more/less justified.
Some sound prettier than others, some you'd prefer to hear more than others but they're all equal and all the exact same.
It's should ALWAYS be your choice to say no without consequence, no matter what wrapping paper you put on your "no" and you should NEVER feel guilty for saying it, or pressured into giving the "right" response.
Your body is yours, your time is yours and your reasons are yours.
Anyone who tries to change any of that is WRONG and a BAD PERSON.
And can go rot.
