Autism you witnessed IRL - share your stories

[Unpaid Emotional Labourer]

When I was in high school there was a well-tolerated autist named Edward. Edward was short and the most egg-shaped human being I’ve ever seen. He’d been around since kindergarten so nobody bothered him. He’d gallop like a cowboy on a horse from class to class. If he saw anything interesting on the ground he’d stop cold and gather it. Rocks, gum wrappers, gum.

Senior year a new autist arrived. His name was Eric and he was tall and lanky and liked to wear a cowboy hat and like, big buckle and such to school. He and Edward immediately became mortal enemies because Bill thought he could dominate Edward, if no one else.

One day people started yelling fight! Fight! And it was those two of course. Edward had brought a lasso to school and snuck up on Eric and had him roped and was dragging him around. The coach who finally broke them up let Edward drag him for about two minutes just to teach Eric a lesson. Edward was our autist, after all.

 

[Varis]

Mr. Varis and I were sitting in the waiting room of a therapist's office, when a guy walked in through the front door. He looked fairly normal, nothing spergy about him, but he started acting nervously the moment he saw us. He paced back and forth for a while, squatted down with his back turned to us, whistled to himself, then got up and left.

I have no idea what we did to trigger him.

 

[Digital Thunder]

[something something, my bedroom's got a mirror in it]

I attended the same special ed. school that Robert Deniro's severely autistic son, Elliot, was in. Completely non-verbal, flailed a lot, and I'm pretty sure had issues with violence. He's the one kid I remember getting pulled out of classes the most because he threw fits near constantly. The couple of times I saw him "in action" was when one or two teachers had to haul him out of classes to calm him down. He was technically a few grade levels above me and I stopped seeing him around school I think by 4th grade. No clue what he'd be up to asides from being Robert's anti-vax prop.

Spoiler: Late, Gay, and TMI

No idea. If I had to guess, I would say it's due to people having kids much later than they should nowadays. If you're in your 40s, it's probably time to pack it in. You're playing the lottery for birth defects past that point.

Late as sin, but if paternal age is a significant factor in defects and developmental disorders, can confirm. I was an IVF baby to a 43 year old dad.

 

[HeraldofNurgle]

This is the story of Ryu, the fighting autist. Another tale from Middle school.

Chester the Molester wasn't the only sped at the school. There were plenty others, but the only one I really became friends with was a kid we nicknamed Ryu. Why Ryu? Because he was somehow a fighting game savant. He lived and breathed Street Fighter as it was his favorite. He would wear a fucking head bandanna like Ryu and the teachers allowed it because he paid attention better if people didn't hassle him about it. He used to get pissed when people would argue that Mortal Kombat or Guilty Gear was better than Street Fighter, in which then he would erupt into a rage. Ryu was between high and mid functioning so it really didn't take much to set him off it you wanted. Despite that he did have friends, me included. He had his fixations and was weird, but he was a loyal soul who loved to teach people about his beloved Street Fighter. When not in school he was at the arcade practicing on the games there, but he also had a play-station at home where he played games. He was incredibly good at them too.

Now of course every school had bullies, and many liked to target Ryu because it really didn't take much to get him screeching and throwing shit. Just yelling shit like 'Ryu is a faggot' would get him angry enough to get sent to in school detention, as we didn't have tard guards.

Now things never got physical for a while. They would just taunt him to watch him chimp out, but nobody felt the need to put their hands on him. Kid was like glass. Skinny. Frail. Glasses so thick you could probably use them to start a fire. Nobody wanted to hit him in case he outright shattered to pieces. That is, until someone did put their hands on him. And oh, was that a mistake.

A bully shoved him into the desks, laughing. But something was different. Ryu wasn't screeching, instead something in him switched. Before anyone could do anything he screams "SHOOORYUUKEN!!!" And then legit performs the legit Shoryuken move. He jumped up and spun, fist in the air, and collided it with the bottom of the bully's jaw. Bully's jaw was open so all of us could hear the clack of his teeth as his jaw forcibly shut, which caused him to bite his tongue pretty hard. He screamed and fell back as Ryu slipped into a stance, even doing the idle bouncing effect as he waited to see what the bully would do next.

The bully fled, which was probably smart of him. If Ryu could perform a shoryuken, what else could he do? Motherfucker could probably do a Hadouken if he actually wanted and we'd be none the wiser. Needless to say nobody put their hands on him again? But teasing? Teasing was way too funny to stop so it would continue. But there was always a healthy level of caution and respect from then on.


Another tale but a short one, but perhaps THE most autistic thing to happen at school is when the principle caught some boys having a literal dick measuring contest in the boys bathroom. There was just a circle of middle schoolers, dicks out, raging erections, as they passed a ruler between each other to measure their dicks. It was so happen that the principle went in to go to the bathroom and walked in on that scene. I can't imagine what was going through his head as he beheld that sight. I just know that he made an announcement later that you would only get so many minutes to use the bathroom so you couldn't skip class to measure your goddamn dicks anymore.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I've mentioned this before but I went to school with this crazy kid who had full blown tism and possibly.... something. He ate bugs but escpeally if they were females carrying eggs and even swallowed a mouse he suffocated (hopefully by accident as he claims) and when we came back from Christmas break one year he had a nasty cut on his finger that he just let get worse and worse and worse the school actually had to force him to stop picking at it and reopening it so it wouldn't get infected and gangerous but I wouldn't be surprised if he's now missing the finger today...if he's not in prison someplace that is.

 

[The Fair Lady]

This one sperg in high school had a tendency of loudly proclaiming whatever was on his mind. I took a class that he ended up being in, and there were a few instances where he just dropped a verbal bomb:

-Told his aid "Fuck you, nigger," and gave her the double middle finger.
-Our teacher was pregnant, and he said that inside of her was "the Avatar (I think he was referring to the movie?) of a mentally retarded child."
-Called one of the class bullies "fatso" while she was pestering him. In all fairness she was a fat bitch so the insult was well-deserved.

He was unpredictable but honestly pretty entertaining. I remember him complimenting me on my Cleopatra costume for the senior Halloween parade and saying something like "Where is Julius Ceaser when he needs her?" My brother, who is also on the spectrum, apparently couldn't stand him though.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

I don’t think this girl had autism, but her obsession with the Nicolas Cage Ghost Rider movie sure as hell was autistic. I sat behind her in a math class and after she saw it the first time she seldom shut the fuck up about it. Ended up knowing everything about that movie before I actually saw it a few months later.

 

[Shrekking Crew]

I have basically married an individual who has a "high-functioning" autistic brother and he's pretty chill for the most part.

 

[Chan Fan]

My mom used to be a monitor for a headstart program (ages 3-4) and there was a family who had two autistic children, both of whom were in my mom's class different years. The boy was high-functioning and the girl was...less functioning. She told me neither of the kids were potty trained so they had to change their diapers all the time. My mom took it upon herself to potty train the boy since the parents weren't going to do it (and if she didn't it was pretty much her and her coworkers changing him several times a day) and believe it or not she succeeded, which was amazing but it bothered me hearing about it because that meant it could be done and the parents weren't even trying, apparently.

The girl would clinch her jaw when she got excited so one day my mom was helping her learn to do something and when it was done successfully she got excited and grabbed my mom to hug her and when she did...bit my mom's shoulder really hard and she started bleeding. So my mom had to leave work and go to the hospital to get it checked out (school protocol.) I was so angry but the girl was not removed from the program, everyone just had to be really careful around her after that.

 

[Shield Breaker]

When I was in high school I worked at a grocery store. One day the assistant manager told me I was going to train a new girl. I was kinda excited about it, being the first time I was chosen. Then she tells me that the new girl has lice, but she's getting it treated. I am then introduced to a dark haired chubby girl who has an unfortunately large nose. She looked dirty and had a stale smell to her, the one that is in every trailer park. We'll call her Pigpen, like the Peanuts character.

I tried to stay as far away from Pigpen as possible while teaching her how to operate the machine. It wasn't a complete disaster, but she hardly ever said anything, and I was not interested in getting to know her. Heck, she had to be prompted to talk to the customers.

Any who, this one customer comes up with some veggies. Pigpen isn't talking again, but whatever. I am about to go on break, and the room is kinda small. I am wondering how far lice can jump. Then she picks up the celery. After ringing it up, Pigpen scratches first her head, then her back with it. Right at the bra line. I'm just standing there shocked, as is the customer. Pigpen is obvious to this and finishes up the order and tells the woman the price. The customers face starts turning red, so I immediately tell her it's time for break and for her to go ahead. Piggy doesn't question this, and I apologize and call the manager.

We ended up giving the lady a new stalk of celery and the rest of the small order for free. Pigpen got fired, and I learned that it sucks teaching new people.

 

[Pissmaster]

Here is some actual autism.

I was in 6th grade. I was walking down the hallway to return to my classroom from the clinic. While walking I saw this sped kid with the most wonky eyes I have ever seen using the water fountain. He noticed me and randomly said

“Eggnog”

and ran back to his classroom. It was the strangest fucking moment I ever experience As a child.

I don't think he could have picked a funnier word to blurt out

 

[Diggingmyowngrave]

I don't think he could have picked a funnier word to blurt out

I know! It wasn’t like it was around christmas. If I can recall, it was sometime close to the end of the school year. So, around the spring/summer time. No idea why he said that and ran off but, it was the weirdest shit ever. I really wished there was someone else with me to witness it that day!

 

[Ze Ubermensch]

In my city center there's a big row of food stalls. I was queuing for the burger stand, where they had one of those big flat grills where the burgers are fried up front. This will become important in a moment. In front of me was some 15-6 kid in a hoodie and cargo trousers, along with two other kids, a boy and a girl. The other two seemed to be dating, and it was fairly obvious this guy was tagging along on what would otherwise be a date.

Basically this kid spent a good 5-10 minutes arguing with the tired looking, middle aged woman behind the counter. I only tuned into their argument after I started getting impatient. He spoke with the classic soulless sperg voice, but was obviously getting more frustrated. He didn't raise his voice or anything, but kept talking through very tightly gritted teeth, and occasionally would make "tsk" sort of noises. Not sure if it was a vocal tick or him imitating anime. The other boy and the girl were both awkwardly standing by from the sidelines. The other boy would periodically try to pry the sperg away from the stand, but was met with constantly being swatted away.

Eventually I clocked that the argument was over how our hero thought the lady short changed him. After 10 minutes or so, this guy had reached the end of his line. He just sprung forward outta fucking nowhere and tried to grab a load of the burgers that had been frying on the grill with his hands and bolted. The tired woman chased after him, but gave up because the kid dropped all the burgers. Even from the like 30 feet he ran I could see that the burger grease was burning his hands, because they'd gone all red and shit and he paused to try and wipe them on his trousers and was now obviously creaming in pain. He kept running, the two he had been with just followed after him at a fast walk. I heard the other boy apologize to his date. In his words, "He gets like this sometimes. I'll call his Mom."

Spoiler

The stand closed early and I never got my burger

 

[Preferred Penne]

I know! It wasn’t like it was around christmas. If I can recall, it was sometime close to the end of the school year. So, around the spring/summer time. No idea why he said that and ran off but, it was the weirdest shit ever. I really wished there was someone else with me to witness it that day!

That reminds me of a guy who once walked by me singing "We wish you a merry SPLEEN!!!" in the middle of April.

 

[Buxinator]

Another Story from the strange world of people interested in art and literature and who try to get famous.

Let's call that one Joe. Before I share my encounter with him, I have to share some of his background. His father was an alcoholic and used to beat his wife and his son. Unfortunately Joe's mother was hit by a car and died in the hospital and it took a while before his aunt was responsible for raising him. Please keep this trauma in mind, because it is essential for the events that happened.

I met Joe around 2014, in the same forum as I met Max and other exceptional individuals. We used to hang out on a team speak server and have a hangout in a webcam chat. One night, where we read a dramaturgy script, he fell in love with a girl, which I will call Mary. He told me about his feelings in a private chat and due to politeness I encouraged him to try to know her better and develop a relationship with her. What followed was a fucking cringefest. He wrote a script for a romance and demanded that she will play the female role. Somehow she finally realized what was going on and asked me, if I know anything and I told her about Joe's feelings for her. She told Joe that he wasn't her type and he disappeared for a while and deleted his Facebook account.
But that is not the end. He returned, apologized and talked about personal stuff and that he wanted to be a woman. So far so good, but he prepared himself by putting on a bra which could fit Pamela Anderson's tits and stuffing it with toilet paper. During the meeting of the forum, which took place in the summertime, he also ran around topless and received a verbal beating, because he used up the toilet paper stock pretty fast. So imagine: a tall white guy in good shape, running around with a viking beard, long purple hair, big fake tits, with toilet paper looking out of his bra, being yelled at and then breaking down crying.
Fast forward to new year's eve 2015: Mary started to study at the university where Joe was living. We all hang out in the chat, playing a game where you had to answer spicy questions and where hammered. Joe made again an attempt to try to start a relationship and invited Mary over to his place. He described what would happen, what he would do and how hard he would fuck her brain out. All while mentioned toilet paper stuck out of his top. After she refused, he said, that he had enough alcohol to make it happen but turned out Mary was straight edge. I couldn't control myself and bursted out laughing.
So Joe's heart was broken and again he deleted his accounts.
I recently checked on him and all he has is his YouTube channel and he is again Male. No more huge tits and normal hair.

 

[Roast Chicken]

I went to see Detective Pikachu a few months back, which is pretty autistic on my part, but I got to overhear some real 'tism:

I was sitting a few seats away from a lady and her adult son. By the way he spoke, it was pretty apparent that he had learning difficulties of some kind. But what I didn't count on hearing was this:

Him: "It's a bit sore.."
Mum: "Are you still using the cream?"
Him: "Yes, but it's a bit difficult to put it on... *almost reveals more details*
Mum: "Shhh!"
Him: "... Can you put it on?
Mum: *audibly embarressed* I.. Think you're quite capable of putting it on yourself."

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

bored at work so i have short stories to tell.

there was this guy in my class named Fred. he was one of those tall white kids that could become a basketball player because of their height. the thing about fred was he was frail as glass and would start crying as soon as it became too loud around him. he would sometime break down and cry if people started to yell or fight eachother if he was around. it could have nothing to do with him but he still start crying and need a few minutes to reset himself.

i was friends with a guy named Denis. he was from paru but raised in Sweden. the interesting thing about Denis was he had some crazy brain sickness and the only way to cure him was installing a bunch of plastic tubs inside his skull. everyone were reminded not to touch his head or be too violent with him since if the tubes got damaged, he could die. you could see the tubs if you looked closely at his head, sickest shit ever. he was a nice kid but didint have that many friends. would tell me he had a bunch of friends in the last city he lived and was sad he was forced to move away. we even lived in the same neighborhood (well, used too think he moved at some point) that had a bunch of kids around but i never saw him. think i told the story in another thread were i showed a bunch of kids what newgrounds was and Denis was one of them. the idiot would click on one of those hentai adds and his father, who was deeply catholic found out about it, beating him with his belt and snitched on me to the teacher. was told too never use the site in school again. there was also a white girl who had a deep crush on him and would freeze everytime she saw Denis and her face getting red. nothing came of that but i remember being a bit jealous.

 

[A Grey Cat]

So more recently I was waiting at a bus stop and there was group of real grade A niggos near by. I shit you guys not they were probably in their 30s but looked twice Their age no doubt due to all that McDonald's and fried chicken they ate and we're probably gang members in their younger days. And I'm fairly certain they lived long enough to swap their bloods colors for those of the black Israellites movement because that's all I overheard one of them talking about.


Considering I was in Jersey City at the time I wouldn't be surprised if he was either involved with or sympathetic to that shooting last month. But yeah the one who was talking was ticking off every niggo "die Whitey orange man bad" check box some Choice tibits include


"I'ma get mah reperations even if ah gotta rip that toupee ofa his(Trump's) head, then fuck his bitch wife till she can't walk"

"I was there down south when they took down that Confederate flag and when someone said it's a shame that's his heritage, cracker your heritage involved whippin me (yes himself) on mah back"

And my personal favorite

"They (white people) are lizards under their skin,they tryin to leave the planet cause once global warming makes it too hot they won't survive on the earth unlike us niggas we made to handle the sun"

I bet he's a flat earther on top of everything

 

[The Last Stand]

There was this kid in my dorms (we'll call him Rob) that would literally hang out in the lounge area on the second floor to sing out loud while wearing headphones. Not just sign, he would pretend he is on the mic, making exaggerated hand and dance motions in front of the windows. You would be able to see Rob sing and dance with himself outside the dorm building.

That's not even the best part. We have a vending machine in the lounge area. A couple times, Rob would ... hump it. Like hold it and just thrust on it. One time, I literally saw Rob hump the machine for a minute straight. Groaning, flexing, even making that orgasm face afterwards. He ended it with kissing the machine and laid back down like nothing happened.

I was perplexed that I was just watching out of morbid curiosity. He didn't even notice I was recording either.

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

remember high school musical? holy fucking shit i forgot that stuff even existed. it was such a big deal back than, even girls in high school loved that crap but there was this one girl, lets call her hamster (because i dont remember her name and she had the face of one) who was an outright high school musical fanatic. every day, every fucking day she had to mention something related to high school musical, Zoey 101 and Hannah Montana (god, what did they do too you Milly? you used to be such a sweetthing). she had all the songs on her mp3, had a high school musical backpack and of course, she had a deep crush on Zac efron and would talk about wanting to run away with him and be his princess. the autism of that girl was pretty impressive. i wonder if she feels the same today or moved on? hamster was 17/18 when i first met her.

listening to a few songs and apparently, Disney put them all officially on youtube for the first time a few months ago. they are "not bad" per say, just not something a hetrosexual male would enjoy listening too.

oh, didint one of the girls from the movie have her nuds leaked on the internet? i remember that being a pretty big shitstorm. was thinking of showing it too her for teh lulz but didint.