Jude Valentin / Jude Torres / Judy Valentin / DivineBrujeria / MermaidRoyal / MermaidQueenJude / MerQueenJude - Cancelled Twitch Streaming Clout Chaser, Wannabe Photographer. Cancellation event starting on page 838

[Gracie's Ghost]

And then he brings in a date. What the hell even is going on?

Why...did they specify "children's section"?

 

[DelicateMageflower]

She plays as an NPC in the Sims, the easiest fucking game in the world to understand?

 

[Free the Pedos]

Why...did they specify "children's section"?

Shades of Lucas Wener fapping under a trenchcoat in the foodcourt of a suburban mall.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Jude, get a job first. You’ve been told this many times. It’s job first, then apartment.

That’s great and all, but you need to do more than just play video games.

Jude, it’s probably you that’s the problem, and not the goddesses.

 

[XenomorphThot]

Jude, it’s probably you that’s the problem, and not the goddesses.

Jude... what career? You can't make enough to move out to even a smallest apartment, what kind of career is that? You barely have any clients and any visibility??? And community? That minuscule amount of followers on Insta, Twitter and Twitch? Stop deluding yourself. You ain't got any power in any of those areas.

 

[ADHD]

I'm sorry, I don't know if it's just that I'm old and out of touch with what the kids are saying now, but all this "I got soft" and "things that have made me soft this week" talk just makes me think "things that made my dick go limp". Which, if we're talking about AstraLuma, while disgusting, it would make sense, but since Jude doesn't have a dick, my brain is throwing an error.

 

[HamFan]

View attachment 1113178

It's bad enough she begs for work on social media rather than pursue it in any standard or sensible way. But she also feels the need to tell you why she wants a particular job. That's one of the first things you're taught about job hunting, ffs. When the manager at KFC asks why you want the job, you don't say, "to save up for my first car."
Especially since at this point she shouldn't need a special reason to be seeking work besides being a fucking adult that needs to support herself. Or even fostering that "powerful" "career."

 

[JuniperFalls]

View attachment 1113181
Jude, it’s probably you that’s the problem, and not the goddesses.

Once again Jude wants a lazy no-effort solution. If you want "power in dating" [or even making some platonic friends to hang out with IRL], you don't burn candles and invoke love spells to the goddesses; you need to learn some social skills.

Don't ask "how can I be successful in dating." Ask "how can I be the kind of person other people want to date?" And don't ask "How can I get a great career," ask "What can I do to make employers or freelance clients want to hire me?"

 

[JambledUpWords]

Here’s a novel idea: go to bed earlier and eat a better diet. Also, get up and do things more. Sitting down for long periods of time can make you tired.

XO- Kiwifarms

 

[QuokkaCaptain]

I'm sorry, I don't know if it's just that I'm old and out of touch with what the kids are saying now, but all this "I got soft" and "things that have made me soft this week" talk just makes me think "things that made my dick go limp". Which, if we're talking about AstraLuma, while disgusting, it would make sense, but since Jude doesn't have a dick, my brain is throwing an error.

I have honestly never heard anyone use the word "soft" in that context before.

View attachment 1112420
Here Jude, here’s some free tips to manage anxiety:

• Get a job (Twitch streaming and being an “influencer” don’t count)
  • A job will help you dwell on things less because you’d have more tasks to do in a day
• Do chores around the house
  • Not only will you have a cleaner space, you’ll feel accomplished
• Get exercise
  • This helps release endorphins and puts you in a better mood
• Don’t stay in bed all day
  • Staying in bed just makes anxiety worse
• Cook your own food
  • If you are low on money, this will save money
  • You get the added bonus of learning or perfecting a skill
• Get more hobbies
  • You claim to like writing. How about writing more often?
• Don’t drink coffee
  • Coffee has been known to increase anxiety in some people
• Help other people more often
  • By helping others, you don’t focus on your own problems
    • Tarot reading doesn’t count
    • Volunteer at a food bank or homeless shelter
• Make realistic goals for yourself
  • Getting a collaboration with Unique Vintage and a Twitch partnership are unrealistic goals
• Work on saving money
  • Financial insecurity is one quick way to create stress

There. Now you can either use these tips, or not. I’d highly recommend getting a full or part time job. You have too much time on your hands, and that is why you’re feeling anxious. Humans aren’t meant to function on that much free time.

I imagine her response to the "Get a job, don't drink coffee, don't stay in bed all day" to reduce stress would be "Ummm, excuse me, I have CPTSD and you don't know my body and mind. NONE of those things would help, they would make them worse. Ableist!"

She's created this narrative in her head that being a "queer latinx creator" is already a day-to-day feat worthy of Hercules. I think Jude has legitimately convinced herself that she is not capable of doing anything more than what she is doing right now: Her "conditions" prevent her from anything else. Add to that the sense of entitlement, that she thinks she should never have to do a job that doesn't fulfill her and bring her joy, and it puts her in a place where it'll be a cold day in hell where she takes any of this advice under her own power.

It's like telling those people on My 600-lb Life to change their ways: It's too hard, it's too uncomfortable, so they come up with a million and one excuses for why they have zero control over their situation. Nothing short of a magic bullet (that requires zero effort or discomfort on their part) will fix their problems, so until then, they'll have to sink right into the deep depths of the destructively familiar path.

Jude will only sack up and do the hard things in life when she's forced to- i.e., if and when her parents boot her out. There will be glorious m.ilk if it does, because she will never make this transition with any grace. She'll throw a tantrum worthy of a two year-old.

 

[rocknrollmartian]

I'm sorry, I don't know if it's just that I'm old and out of touch with what the kids are saying now, but all this "I got soft" and "things that have made me soft this week" talk just makes me think "things that made my dick go limp". Which, if we're talking about AstraLuma, while disgusting, it would make sense, but since Jude doesn't have a dick, my brain is throwing an error.

It sounds like she's saying "soft" instead of "emotional" or "mushy." I dunno, but yeah, "I got soft" means flaccid dick to me, too.

 

[C3PBRO]

Thanks to my man my dude @Pineapple Fox a lot of the info from his informative and gross post helped out.

@astraluma is a 31 year old man, born to loaded parents who sent him to a renowned STEM school, which he attended for two years. In the ten years since he has had ten jobs, most not lasting more than five months. In case you were wondering, they were not freelance projects.

The company he supposedly works at now according to his LinkedIn, "Lumami Software" has zero social media presence. In fact if you look it up, you'll find a dead-end website with no content. Jamie Bliss shit out a page that funnels you to an email address, published it, and has now listed it as his job for the past year and seven months. It is the longest he has ever held a "job."

Spoiler: James Edward Bliss

Born May 20 1988 (currently 31 years old)

Current Listed Address
6904 Rix ST SE Ada, MI 49301 (zillow listing)

Spoiler: Previous addresses

1009 Colfax AVE
Grand Haven, MI 49417

2665 Longfellow AVE SW
Wyoming, MI 49509

6691 Rushmore CT
Jenison, MI 49428
(His parents' current house)

For some reason Jamie and his parents, Kristin Marie Bliss and Steven Edward Bliss, all have Jamie's current address listed as their address, as well as the parents' badass dream house with an honest-to-god dock holy shit. This makes me think they must be guarantors on Jamie's mortgage, because there's no way being a colossal faggot on discord pays enough to purchase a $227k house.

Spoiler: email addresses

astronouth7303@gmail.com
james.bliss@plansource.com
thebliss4@earthlink.net
j.bliss@dickinsonwright.com

Spoiler: phone numbers

616 682-7988
The following are listed as work numbers, probably from his numerous previous jobs but I'll list them for posterity;
888 266-1732
313 223-3500
248 458-1300

 

[ADHD]

Now might be a good time for Jude to evaluate how she feels about girlcock. Go get you some rich in-laws, gorl!

 

[JuniperFalls]

Well, damn. Jude's friend Lilith is having a round of bad luck; someone broke into her apartment and stole her computer and workstuff, so now she's stressing out over how she'll pay the rent.




FWIW, Lilith donated to Jude's GoFundMe when GFM was Jude's scam du jour. Is Jude going to return the favor and donate to Lilith iher hour of need?

Hey, Jude: here's your chance to show off some of that "empathy" and "kindness" you pretend to have! Give your friend some money to help her avoid homelessness! At the very least, give her back the money she gave you to help you buy your overpriced gaming computer move out of your toxic living space. And maybe retweet her appeal for help. Or are you afraid that might cut into your own grifting money?

 

[Pineapple Fox]

Well, damn. Jude's friend Lilith is having a round of bad luck; someone broke into her apartment and stole her computer and workstuff, so now she's stressing out over how she'll pay the rent.

FWIW, Lilith donated to Jude's GoFundMe when GFM was Jude's scam du jour. Is Jude going to return the favor and donate to Lilith in her hour of need?

Hey, Jude: here's your chance to show off some of that "empathy" and "kindness" you pretend to have! Give your friend some money to help her avoid homelessness! At the very least, give her back the money she gave you to help you buy your overpriced gaming computer move out of your toxic living space. And maybe retweet her appeal for help. Or are you afraid that might cut into your own grifting money?

Every month like clockwork she complains about not being able to make rent but somehow always manages to stay put while also having the time to sperg about thins taking over fat spaces. Lilith and Jude are very much cut from the same (large) cloth.

 

[JuniperFalls]

Every month like clockwork she complains about not being able to make rent but somehow always manages to stay put while also having the time to sperg about thins taking over fat spaces. Lilith and Jude are very much cut from the same (large) cloth.

Lilith is arguably less of a mess than Jude -- at least Lilith has achieved such basic adult milestones as "moving out of your parent's house." And Lilith is not as completely divorced from reality as Jude, either -- when Jude was trying to find a 3BR in New York, Lilith was one pointing out that NYC in general is expensive, and Jude might want to consider relocating.

 

[Angry New Ager]

Well, damn. Jude's friend Lilith is having a round of bad luck; someone broke into her apartment and stole her computer and workstuff, so now she's stressing out over how she'll pay the rent.

View attachment 1114836

View attachment 1114837

View attachment 1114838

Haha--Lilith, just because the cop shop is three minutes from your apartment doesn't mean there are officers sitting around, twiddling their thumbs, just waiting for someone to call in and give them something to do.

A burglary, while it sucks, is not an emergency, and responding to your call will get prioritized accordingly. In my precinct, I would expect to wait a couple of hours for an officer to show up and take a report on a burglary, once they get done dealing with a crimes that are still in-progress, or directing traffic around an auto accident until the tow trucks show up, or handling other non-emergency calls in the order in which they came in. So use that time to make as complete a list as you can of everything that has gone missing, so you can file an insurance claim as soon as they're gone. Also, reflect on why you were stupid enough to leave your SSN and birth certificate where a burglar could easily find them.

And I think it's hilarious that she couldn't go pee until they arrived. Were she a Thin, she could take care of that business in less than a minute. But a quick pee is, apparently, thin privilege. She can't go pee because, thanks to fat consequence, it takes much longer and is more of a struggle for her to manage basic bodily functions and hygeine.

FWIW, Lilith donated to Jude's GoFundMe when GFM was Jude's scam du jour. Is Jude going to return the favor and donate to Lilith in her hour of need? Hey, Jude: here's your chance to show off some of that "empathy" and "kindness" you pretend to have! Give your friend some money to help her avoid homelessness! At the very least, give her back the money she gave you to help you buy your overpriced gaming computer move out of your toxic living space. And maybe retweet her appeal for help. Or are you afraid that might cut into your own grifting money?

I can't wait to see how much Jude chooses to do for her. But she's been careful enough not to do any serious direct begging for money for herself ever since the apartment Gofundme debacle. So I can see her making a token donation to Lilith, while noisily "signal boosting" and demanding that everyone else in the Mermaid Kingdom chip in, as a way of showing how great the community she's created is.

 

[vanilla_pepsi_head]

She'll just shill the grift and expect her to be thankful for the "signal boost". They all fall under the same category of fat bitches who lie a lot and seem to live like kings while bitching about their financial crises every few months. I guess I'm just very cynical by this point but I have a hard time buying this story in the first place because if you're willing to straight up call yourself "anorexic" at that size what else are you willing to tell shit ass bald faced lies about?

 

[YourMommasBackstory]

How much should you earn to afford 2 bedroom apartment in NY? I know that’s fucking a lot, but anyway.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

I'm sorry, I don't know if it's just that I'm old and out of touch with what the kids are saying now, but all this "I got soft" and "things that have made me soft this week" talk just makes me think "things that made my dick go limp". Which, if we're talking about AstraLuma, while disgusting, it would make sense, but since Jude doesn't have a dick, my brain is throwing an error.

All I can think of when she says she's "soft" is "No shit, Ms. Fatty Fat-Fat."

Spoiler: James Edward Bliss

Lmao you can still see the fivehead through the blur.