Wuhan Coronavirus: Megathread - Got too big

[Bat Soup Reviews]

Nigeria is ready for cornoavirus

Coronavius: Wetin di disease isolation ward look like for Nigeria - BBC News Pidgin

Authorities for Lagos Nigeria don set up isolation centre inside di state University Teaching Hospital to take care of any case of coronavirus wey land di kontri.

www.bbc.com

 

[Bender]

I agree. I just ahem "acquired" enough cases to fill a pickup truck bed .
But I get not everyone is so lucky to just find them mysteriously unsecured

I'd rather die a slow and KungFlu-filled death than have to rely on eating MREs for survival, TBH; sure I'll be dead in a couple of weeks, but you will always have those disgusting things sitting in your basement.

 

[Lithos]

Nigeria is ready for cornoavirus

Coronavius: Wetin di disease isolation ward look like for Nigeria - BBC News Pidgin

Authorities for Lagos Nigeria don set up isolation centre inside di state University Teaching Hospital to take care of any case of coronavirus wey land di kontri.

www.bbc.com

I've been to that hospital. It's not bad. Though coming from where I am, I'm not used to a place called a "Morbidity Ward".

I have... slight hope for Nigeria. Next door in Cameroon?

China university say Cameroon student get Coronavirus

Cameroon student dey hospital two days afta Cameroonians for China beg make president Biya helep dem wit chop and masks ontop lockdown sake of di of coronavirus.

www.bbc.com

Bienvenue.

(Edit: I should add that I do respect city Nigerian doctors, mostly because they all trained at the University of Florida...)

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

I agree. I just ahem "acquired" enough cases to fill a pickup truck bed .
But I get not everyone is so lucky to just find them mysteriously unsecured

*looks at the packages*

Wait, these are all the same menu item. Vegetable Omelet. No wonder they were unsecured.

 

[Coleslaw]

Are there primary schools closing due to illness around you guys? I'm not sure how common it is for this to happen around this time of year or if it's also occurring in many areas, since google is region-biased.

Also, about to go to the doc again today for bronchitis/chest symptoms worsening, persistent fever and antibiotics not doing shit. Wish me luck my paranoid brethren.

Schools are closed until the end of February but there is e-learning at home.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

I agree. I just ahem "acquired" enough cases to fill a pickup truck bed .
But I get not everyone is so lucky to just find them mysteriously unsecured

Fucking Score!

OK, Kiwi's, the subject of "I'm hungry, Dr. Purr, how does one go about ridding oneself of that nagging physical sensation without eating bats, rats, and various vermin I dug out of a trash can?"

Well, nice of you to ask. Get your printer ready by making sure it's full of unicorn blood ink, or get your credit card out to order books, because...

Here

We

Go!

All right, the first thing first you have to understand about disaster prepping is that all the fucking prep in the world doesn't do you any good if you don't now how to FUCKING COOK IT. I cannot count how many assholes I know that had all the shiny prepper shit that then stared at it going "hurrr...." unable to figure out how to cook it.

Now, I'm not going to cover how to make an oven with the bricks in your walk-way out front of your house, or how to create a solar oven (Seriously, can you imagine me trying to teach you that shit over the internet?) or how to use a deadlined vehicle as a power source and oven.

I'm going to cover the most simple and, historically, the most coveted thing in human history. Fucking WARS were fought over this resource, your grandmother told one of your aunts to suck cock in hell before she turned over this resource, and this resource was even included in dowries.

Fucking recipes. That's right. how you add yeast, wheat flour, a handful of raisins, and some other shit and make hard crust soft inside raisin bread that grandma damn near took to her grave because "fuck Aunt Marcy's wine aunt ass".

Now, your fucking exotic "I saw this on TV" recipe isn't worth a shit. We're going to assume that the power is out.

But Uncle Johnny, you cry out, the power is out and I have no stove and I can't use my 1001 Recipes for Faggots book I got at the artisan book store and now Dr. Purr is mocking me!

Welp, little Kiwi, bring the whiskey bottle and come over here next to Crazy Uncle Johnny and we'll look at who, in modern times, has recipes listed that isn't some weirdo fucking survival nut living in a hole in the ground and mumbling that taxation is theft and that the mailman is out to get him because he knows the truth about PG&E's evil plan to replace everyone with cyborgs. (Oh, in Clownworld, he might not be wrong...)

The people who have been immortalized in song, movie, and text! Those bastions of rugged handsomeness, meth dealing, and buggies!

THE AMISH!

That's fucking right. We're going to jump out of the bushes and mug an Amish woman for her fucking recipe book then haul ass before her 12 husbands show up with fucking sledgehammers to fuck out day up.

Shit like this:

These noodles will serve 6 as a side dish, but you could easily add some cooked, shredded chicken in the pan at the same time you add the noodles and turn this into a main dish.

Ingredients

• 6 tablespoons butter divided
• 28 ounces chicken broth
• 1 chicken bouillon cube
• 12 ounces extra wide egg noodles
• 1 tsp. parsley flakes
• Salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

1. In a large pan, brown two tablespoons of butter over medium heat.
2. Pour the chicken stock and bouillon cube into the pan and bring to a boil.
3. Add the egg noodles to the chicken stock and return to a boil. Cover the pot and remove from the heat. Let the noodles set for 30 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes or so. If you notice a lot of liquid left in the pot, test a noodle to be certain they are done to your liking. If they're not quite done, return to the heat until the liquid has evaporated and the noodles are done. If the noodles are done to your liking, just drain the liquid away.
4. Top with the remaining 4 tablespoons of butter, parsley, and salt and pepper to taste. (Be wary of adding too much salt as the stock and bouillon tends to be salty on it's own.)
5. Serve immediately or leave in the pan, covered, until ready to serve. These will stay warm for 20 more minutes or so with no problems.

Now, the worst part about checking recipes on the internet is you have to listen to some fucking Karen waxing on and on about her life (Get her, Corona-Chan, bring unto her your joy, lapdances, and pleasure! Oh, ahem, disregard that) until you get to the bottom where the fucking recipe is.

Amish cookbooks are all over Amazon and eBay. I'll give you two links to good ones.

Simple and spiral bound. A good book. Amish Cooking

Another one: Harvest Heritige

But really, any Amish cookbook you can get at Walmart is good. Why? Because they don't rely on fancy bullshit for their basic recipes. Sure, their advanced stuff is complicated as fuck, but their basic recipes even your sped ass can do.

Now personally, I hate kneading bread dough because, holy shit, I just hate it. But, it's not all that bad and warm bread straight from the over is delicious. (Have a couple cans of beer on the side to make beer bread)

Just because you're living in a house that's all covered in plastic, shitting in a trashbag you've bungee corded into the toilet, wearing a fucking mask whenever you leave the house, doesn't mean you have to eat like a fucking savage.

Save those fucking MRE's for the bitter end or in case Corona-Chan fucked EVERYONE and you've gotta go long range excursion.

You can eat good with a dutch oven. Here, a Walmart Dutch Oven

Dutch oven recipe books are out there.

Depending on your circumstances you can even make "3-Day Stew" in the cast-iron pot. Which is just dumping random left-overs or scraping the dishes into the pot and keeping it watered and simmering. It ain't good, but it's thick, high energy, and gonna stick to your ribs.

A "Meh" site to me, but you might like it: The Penny Pinching Karen

Let's have a quick thing for THIS, an Amish remedy book. I, personally, prefer the US Army Field Medical manuals, but that's because I'm a fucking retarded mouth breather.

Like I said, you don't have to resort to squatting in a darkened room covered in plastic, eating half-cooked rice with soy sauce and ketchup and butter dumped on it, growling at your own reflection.

Proper preparation, baby, and it's no different than a slightly strenuous vacation.

Have faith in Crazy Uncle Johnny, Dr. Purr, and the other survivalist guys on here.

Know the difference between a prepper and a survivalist?

A survivalist gets to spend a couple days sorting through the preppers shit after the prepper dies without ever getting home.

 

[Mike Stoklasa]

I agree. I just ahem "acquired" enough cases to fill a pickup truck bed .
But I get not everyone is so lucky to just find them mysteriously unsecured

Don't eat the ones that say "Made in China" on them.

 

[mr.moon1488]

Good news! Florida hasn't had a case yet.

Bad news, any potential cases aren't being reported on in the media because of a state law.

Yeah, shit has me kinda paranoid anyway though. We have a fuck ton of Chinese tourists and students here. I know it's stupid, but I was walking my dog tonight, and couldn't help but notice that almost everyone in the neighborhood was coughing.

 

[EmuWarsVeteran]

So it's been more than 3 weeks since the thread started, which means it has been at least a month since China discovered the virus, and the infection rate in foreign countries hasn't really increased that much, which is weird considering how the virus should be extremely infectious.
I kind of wonder what is the reason for this discrepancy, yeah China is extremely unhygenic but so are other Asian shitholes. My only guesses are that either it's a direct or indirect result of the famous chinese smog, or that there is something like a water reservoir or food supplier that's infected.

Again: the factor you're not counting is how much time it passed before the first recognized infection while this shit was freely brewing all over china.

I wouldn't hold my breath - how long do you think they have been trying to find vaccines for other viruses of that family - SARS, MERS, etc? I have seen unconfirmed claims, that all the vaccine attempts have failed and potentially actually increase the risk of catching these viruses.
China is most likely doing human trials right now as we speak, they may even get somewhere, given the desperation and low regard for human life over there.

Also, wtf

Well the next post already answered:

I would suspect that they're using bacteria to clone the virus or a derivative for the vaccine but a virologist would know better. You're just using the bacteria as a breeding ground.

But I'll elaborate. Bacteria are great biofactories because they don't have a nucleus, which means that you can stick pretty much anything in those little fuckers and so long as its a stable DNA strand they'll fucking clone that shit real good. Typically the nucleic acid is turned into an insert within a circular DNA strand (named plasmid) which has one of many possible mechanisms to insert itself through recombination into the procariote's DNA. For industrial level other biofactories are preferred if possible but at the laboratory level bacteria are the shit!

Also yeah I would not hold my breath for reasons explained before. Luck is a component here and scientists have a tendency toward's murphy's law.

 

[Autistic lurker]

I see you are giving advices, but there's something missing here. MRE's are ok. Canned food is fine too. However everyone must learn to obtain food from nature, not just consume them. Hunting and fishing skills are essential to live in countryside. One must also be able to skin animals as well. Don't forget to remove guts, if you don't want to eat shit, literally. It's obvious, but it must be said, still.

 

[Mike Stoklasa]

I see you are giving advices, but there's something missing here. MRE's are ok. Canned food is fine too. However everyone must learn to obtain food from nature, not just consume them. Hunting and fishing skills are essential to live in countryside. One must also be able to skin animals as well. Don't forget to remove guts, if you don't want to eat shit, literally. It's obvious, but it must be said, still.

Peter was warned about McGreggor's "six second" technique, but Peter did not listen to his dear mother that day.

 

[Mike Hunt]

So it's been more than 3 weeks since the thread started, which means it has been at least a month since China discovered the virus, and the infection rate in foreign countries hasn't really increased that much, which is weird considering how the virus should be extremely infectious.
I kind of wonder what is the reason for this discrepancy, yeah China is extremely unhygenic but so are other Asian shitholes. My only guesses are that either it's a direct or indirect result of the famous chinese smog, or that there is something like a water reservoir or food supplier that's infected.

Again: the factor you're not counting is how much time it passed before the first recognized infection while this shit was freely brewing all over china.

It's a combination of factors. One, like EmuWarsVeteran said, had the CCP listened to the late Dr. Li and his seven other colleagues in December(?) instead of harrassing them for not being communist enough to do whatever shit they were supposed to in times like those, the CCP could've acted on the few cases there were then, even before the Chinese made their yearly trips/events to wherever for the Lunar New Year which really exacerbated the spread.

Two, other countries are already aware of the virus when it reached their shores, so citizens and governments have become more vigilant in screening/preventing the virus spread. As such, there are fewer cases that needed quarantine, so there are still enough accommodations for them, and more critically, medical supplies and health workers. I won't be surprised if it turns out that most of corona-chan's victims without underlying issues died because of a lack of adequate health care and supplies.

Three, the travel bans keep the spread in check. Imagine how worse the situation might be if airports remain open to all mainland Chinese right now.

 

[ColtWalker1847]

Can someone please explain to me how hoarding food, fuel, ammo, buttcoin, etc helps you survive a bad case of the flu?

None of that would have saved anyone in 1918, the last time we had a really bad global pandemic.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Good news! Florida hasn't had a case yet.

Bad news, any potential cases aren't being reported on in the media because of a state law.

Fucking dammit. I'm a fellow florida man in a tourist area, who fucking made this fake and gay law so we cant runaway from people like lepers? (actually wouldn't be surprised if it was a hold over from the beginning of the AIDS crisis or another epidemic so florida man doesnt freak out and kill the suspected person).

Yeah, shit has me kinda paranoid anyway though. We have a fuck ton of Chinese tourists and students here. I know it's stupid, but I was walking my dog tonight, and couldn't help but notice that almost everyone in the neighborhood was coughing.

I feel. If it helps, allergies are beginning to flair up and the regular cold have been imported over to us by the snowbirds as usual. Hope it's nothing more than those for your area.

I'm worried about the one straight from China kid in my class: he hasnt been in class since mid January

Can someone please explain to me how hoarding food, fuel, ammo, buttcoin, etc helps you survive a bad case of the flu?

None of that would have saved anyone in 1918, the last time we had a really bad global pandemic.

It's not about getting the flu, but staying inside for long periods of time away from those who do. It's also about surviving if shit hits the fan and everyone at the powerplant is either at home or sick as well.

My plan is just to make my roommate buy a fuckton of bottled piss water and we either die by virus or die of liver/alchohol poisoning like real Floridians do.

 

[Autistic lurker]

Can someone please explain to me how hoarding food, fuel, ammo, buttcoin, etc helps you survive a bad case of the flu?

None of that would have saved anyone in 1918, the last time we had a really bad global pandemic.

If shit hits the fan you should gtfo from infected city and live alone in somewhat remote place. Or have you got some ideas how to sustain yourself without infrastructure and civilization?

 

[Mike Stoklasa]

I guess some of us should learn to code rebuild a carburetor.

 

[ColtWalker1847]

It's not about getting the flu, but staying inside for long periods of time away from those who do. It's also about surviving if shit hits the fan and everyone at the powerplant is either at home or sick as well.

That's dumb. I'm not sure what kind of staff you think is needed to operate our energy infrastructure but it ain't a whole lot and it's redundant. Also, pandemics don't make everyone get sick at the same time. The recovery rate is going to be north of 90% too, much higher for working age adults. This is the coronavirus not a brain-eating amoeba or rabies.

The biggest risk of not having food is because people rush to stores and buy out everything. Just like before every storm in the south. But once the panic is over it returns to normal. If you have a modestly stocked pantry you will be fine. Years worth of shit is not necessary.

Again, look at 1918. The way this plays out isn't like something dreamt up by Max Brooks. Nor is it similar to a nuke strike. Nor is it like a natural disaster. Shit isn't going to get wiped out and people left to scrounge. It is a slow burn. Folks are getting their survivalist wires crossed badly here. Not every emergency requires exactly the same measures.

The best thing you can do is reduce your exposure (masks sanitizer and whatnot) and have stuff to doctor yourself if you get sick because medical centers will be overflowing. Your Burt Gummer survival bunker ain't doing shit.

 

[simulated goat]

Can someone please explain to me how hoarding food, fuel, ammo, buttcoin, etc helps you survive a bad case of the flu?

None of that would have saved anyone in 1918, the last time we had a really bad global pandemic.

In 1918, most American housewives still used a cookbook like the 'White House Cookbook:

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/13923/13923-h/13923-h.htm

The recipes for day to day items like soap and the abundance of recipes for things we would consider easily obtained cupboard staples like vinegar reflects on how much was made by families or locally. Our society is far different, most people would not have the knowledge or skill to make these things if supply chains were to fail for a while. We have better medicine around and are light years ahead of the medical knowledge of those times (the chapter on sickness and food for the sick is pretty funny, BTW) but our society is far more fragile, far less homogeneous and is dependent on a lot of conveniences that are easy to take for granted.

Besides, it'll make for a great piss up when this all blows over.

 

[LolNoIPLeaksEvenLMFAO]

Fucking Score!

snip
All right, the first thing first you have to understand about disaster prepping is that all the fucking prep in the world doesn't do you any good if you don't now how to FUCKING COOK IT. I cannot count how many assholes I know that had all the shiny prepper shit that then stared at it going "hurrr...." unable to figure out how to cook it.

Now, I'm not going to cover how to make an oven with the bricks in your walk-way out front of your house, or how to create a solar oven (Seriously, can you imagine me trying to teach you that shit over the internet?) or how to use a deadlined vehicle as a power source and oven.

I'm going to cover the most simple and, historically, the most coveted thing in human history. Fucking WARS were fought over this resource, your grandmother told one of your aunts to suck cock in hell before she turned over this resource, and this resource was even included in dowries.

Fucking recipes. That's right. how you add yeast, wheat flour, a handful of raisins, and some other shit and make hard crust soft inside raisin bread that grandma damn near took to her grave because "fuck Aunt Marcy's wine aunt ass".

Now, your fucking exotic "I saw this on TV" recipe isn't worth a shit. We're going to assume that the power is out.

But Uncle Johnny, you cry out, the power is out and I have no stove and I can't use my 1001 Recipes for Faggots book I got at the artisan book store and now Dr. Purr is mocking me!

also you can make a paint can over that works pretty well. If you’ve gone far enough to make a still and make high proof shit it’ll burn no problem. When I was doing construction as a youngen I saw the Mexicans doing it and asked them about it. They showed me what’s up and shit you can make a pretty bitchin DIY oven for like no money.
Throw a baking sheet on top and you can make burgers, eggs, really anything. Perfect size for most pans to boil water. I’ve used them before (or a variety of them) when camping and it is the easiest shit ever. Like if you can’t make one and cook with it just kill yourself if shit gets bad. Getting a proper alcohol oven is ideal, but this is for my poorfags out there. You can use denatured alcohol (heet) if you can’t make shine.

 

[ColtWalker1847]

In 1918, most American housewives still used a cookbook like the 'White House Cookbook:

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/13923/13923-h/13923-h.htm

The recipes for day to day items like soap and the abundance of recipes for things we would consider easily obtained cupboard staples like vinegar reflects on how much was made by families or locally. Our society is far different, most people would not have the knowledge or skill to make these things if supply chains were to fail for a while. We have better medicine around and are light years ahead of the medical knowledge of those times (the chapter on sickness and food for the sick is pretty funny, BTW) but our society is far more fragile, far less homogeneous and is dependent on a lot of conveniences that are easy to take for granted.

Besides, it'll make for a great piss up when this all blows over.

So? How is this breakdown of delivery of goods and services going to happen? How to the lights turn off? Why is it necessary to eat your neighbors pets?

A portion of the population will be sick. The rest will go about their lives. This is what happened in 1918. Not some soap and vinegar shortage that required everyone to homebrew until the crisis passed.

Preparation is waaaaaaay to focused on end-times societal collapse and not practical shit. Like, I dunno, caring for a sick person but the ER is full and they should stay home. But we have a pile of vomlete MREs!