Chris's excuses for being unemployed / pretending to be overworked megathread

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

I'd dearly love some fly-on-the-wall spy camerawork to show us exactly what back-breaking work a CPU goddess actually does. (Anything other than playing vidya, ordering MLP crap, stuffing his face and shitting himself and doing nothing would be a minor miracle.)

 

[Hogar Grupal]

You know when Chris typed that he immediately said aloud something like "So there! Humph!" and blew a raspberry. Because Chris is a 260lb, 38 year old toddler.

The fascinating thing about CWC is that he thinks he's a sane adult (read: "deity"), but the people around him treat him like a child.

I wonder when he regresses mentally to the point where he needs to wear Butt Garments?

I'd dearly love some fly-on-the-wall spy camerawork to show us exactly what back-breaking work a CPU goddess actually does. (Anything other than playing vidya, ordering MLP crap, stuffing his face and shitting himself and doing nothing would be a minor miracle.)

I think the only thing that came close to that would be Joseph Draft's documentary.

 

[The Dude]

He’s regressing harder than an toddler tho.

What would we call him at this point then? A tardler?

 

[A Grey Cat]

Pretty much, this is the bullshit he's said so far about it:

"I am unable to get a job, Period. I am unhirable, thanks to the online Haters. Besides, I am already constantly employed as a Goddess; my mind and body are fully employed already.

"Therefore, you can stop telling me to “Get A Job”, Because I already have one."

"Therefore, for all of you Haterade-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions."

This despite the fact that the cwcki says other lolcows have gotten work despite their infamy, the fact that people who've committed drug, weapon or other criminal felonies have been reintegrated into the workforce, and the fact that the state of Virginia has several orginzations dedicated to helping the disabled get work.

Facts are facts and the fact is that Chris is too lazy fat and sheltered to earn an honestly living for himself. He's disgusting to be around and entitled with an ego problem so the service industry is out, and his body is too flabby and lazy to work even the most menial of labourus tasks like scrubbing toilets. And anything else is out of the question because of his poor choices of and lack of proper education.

All this bullshit about being a goddess and having a mind and body too busy already working to bring Toontown into reality is just a pathetic attempt at sounding like his life of being a lazy glutinous slob playing pretend like a child all day is actually important and valid.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

This despite the fact that the cwcki says other lolcows have gotten work despite their infamy, the fact that people who've committed drug, weapon or other criminal felonies have been reintegrated into the workforce, and the fact that the state of Virginia has several orginzations dedicated to helping the disabled get work.

Facts are facts and the fact is that Chris is too lazy fat and sheltered to earn an honestly living for himself. He's disgusting to be around and entitled with an ego problem so the service industry is out, and his body is too flabby and lazy to work even the most menial of labourus tasks like scrubbing toilets. And anything else is out of the question because of his poor choices of and lack of proper education.

All this bullshit about being a goddess and having a mind and body too busy already working to bring Toontown into reality is just a pathetic attempt at sounding like his life of being a lazy glutinous slob playing pretend like a child all day is actually important and valid.

True. Look at his filthy shower.

 

[Yamcha's Only Fan]

So I clock out for 24 hours and chris goes on a whine-fest about being "over worked."

Permit me to respond to this after so many pages, and 36 hours of no sleep.

Chris claiming to be overworked is like Nick Bates claiming to be innocent. I guess chris is bringing this up to get in good with another artist in hopes to either draw them into his game of pretend-until-the-bank-takes-his-house, or simply hope to get someone else to draw his comics for him. Chris knows he sucks at drawing, the SNT pictures proved that. As for the headaches chris has, well, they might be imaginary too, or at the very least mild enough that someone can just tune them out by focusing on other things. Of course, I can also see chris downing pain pills then proclaiming his magic powers took the pain away.

And of course we see his ego resurface with his 'word to picture ratio' comment and his pronouncement that everyone who talks bad about him will die in the merge. Oh can we please fast forward to Barb's death? Maybe have the health inspector condemn the house? I know chris will never ever be humbled no matter how low he sinks, but my god I want something to wipe that smug sense of self satisfaction off chris's face once in a blue moon.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I want his excuses for being overweight.

"I'm not fat"
"There's more of me to love"
"Women should keep on extra pounds for da yungins"
"Mudder Says, I's pretty"
"At least I'm not fat as you haters, living behind your mudder's basements"
"You would be fat too if you had the responsibilities of being a Goddess"
"This is just my mortal skins, I'll be upgrading after da merge"

 

[Someone in a Tree]

I want his excuses for being overweight.

"I'm not fat"
"There's more of me to love"
"Women should keep on extra pounds for da yungins"
"Mudder Says, I's pretty"
"At least I'm not fat as you haters, living behind your mudder's basements"
"You would be fat too if you had the responsibilities of being a Goddess"
"This is just my mortal skins, I'll be upgrading after da merge"

He’d claim all the weight is in his boobs

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

He’d claim all the weight is in his boobs

Fresh grown D-cups can't raise and nurture themselves. You gotta feed them, and shave them, so they can be ripe for the suckelin'.

 

[Haesindang Park]

He’d claim all the weight is in his boobs

Big heavy boobs mean upper back pain you know.

 

[Daishouri]

Sounds like his idea of meditation is just napping.

 

[Silver Octopus]

“I meditate involuntary nearly 24/7”
What does he mean by this? This is worrying...
I get the impression that his definition for involuntary meditation is having a brain fart and zoning out:

But he did also explain in a tweet that he “meditates” every morning by playing Tetris 99 - so he probably considers anything that doesn't require the use of his legs as meditation...

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Honestly Bob had the right of it, keeping that tugboat in tact is the most important thing.

Its a shame because at one time i would have said he could bag groceries or some shit but now theres no fucking way.

Maybe he could work for trans lifeline. Promising the merge has to be better than whatever theyre doing and its not like galpals havent offed themselves in the past.

 

[Tikbalang]

Autism: where imagination becomes a chore

 

[TrippinKahlua]

I'm beginning to get real jealous of the meditation, binaural beats, lucid dreaming and astral projection that Chris gets to do so much.

What he needs is a good tornado to rip through his house.

And that's what he does, when everyone just says he uses his imagination and playing vidya. Hes too deep into this kind of spiritualism. All his imaginary friends are manifestations of what he wants, and being based on his mind alone, That's why he acts like all this is real.

Haven't you ever noticed how he never mentions his biological clock? It's because he learned how to sleep properly with binaural beats and Lucid dreaming and Astral Projection are forms of sleeping.

And sleep is all this lazy ass seems to do. That's what it boils down to. That's his excuse for not working.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

“I meditate involuntary nearly 24/7”
What does he mean by this? This is worrying...
I get the impression that his definition for involuntary meditation is having a brain fart and zoning out:

But he did also explain in a tweet that he “meditates” every morning by playing Tetris 99 - so he probably considers anything that doesn't require the use of his legs as meditation...

He just daydreams a lot. But doesn't want to call it that because it means it's just in his head so uses terms like meditation, astral projection, etc.

Honestly Bob had the right of it, keeping that tugboat in tact is the most important thing.

Its a shame because at one time i would have said he could bag groceries or some shit but now theres no fucking way.

Bob should've pressed him to keep trying after the Wendy's fuckup. Chris having no purpose in life just leads him to wallow in his fantasy world and cause his mental health to decline further.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Bob should've pressed him to keep trying after the Wendy's fuckup. Chris having no purpose in life just leads him to wallow in his fantasy world and cause his mental health to decline further.

Couple with all his enablers, who give him money and asspats for being a caged monkey.....and you've got yourself modern day Christine Molestin' Chandler.

But he did also explain in a tweet that he “meditates” every morning by playing Tetris 99 - so he probably considers anything that doesn't require the use of his legs as meditation...

Also, because uses a butt plug made of rose quartz. It's supposed to open up a chakra or something.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Is Chris the worst case of entitlement, or does some other lolcow have that distinction?

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Is Chris the worst case of entitlement, or does some other lolcow have that distinction?

Chris is the worst case, but I think it's overshadowed by the fact that he's the least successful aside from Phil in his self-entitlement.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Honestly Bob had the right of it, keeping that tugboat in tact is the most important thing.

Its a shame because at one time i would have said he could bag groceries or some shit but now theres no fucking way.

Maybe he could work for trans lifeline. Promising the merge has to be better than whatever theyre doing and its not like galpals havent offed themselves in the past.

And then suddenly home Depot sees a rise in sales of ropes and ladders to troon customers