Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[lamp shade]

Have we reached Tess's weight in pages yet?

She gains faster than we can shitpost.

 

[Barbarella]

Starts getting stretch marks,,,they are there!

A tattoo artist has to be careful of older people because their skin is thinner. I wonder they have to adjust for Superfats? She has so much greasy yellow fat right under the skin, with pulling, stretch marks, and cellulite that I wonder if It requires a different technique?

 

[Parthenos]

Fat bitch goes to a Gucci event; looks gigantic, gross and trashy. Check out that fake fall of hair down the back - but it's REALLLL, y'all! I also enjoy her attempts to pretend to have a neck.
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I keep thinking she's wearing an inflatable fat suit because the sight of her head atop her body is that unnatural.

Also, Tess shouldn't be wearing anything shiny if she doesn't want to look like a literal balloon.

 

[multiverse]

Have we reached Tess's weight in pages yet?

Maybe? I'd peg her around 420-440.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

Maybe? I'd peg her around 420-440.

Having seen the side view in that tinfoil dress, I'd say she's 100-150lb away from AmberLynn territory. She chooses her angles carefully and shops the fuck out of herself but more candid shots from the side show her girth is fucking immense. We have to be at a 60-65 inch 'waist' by now. It's easy to be distracted by the arms, but the arms aren't throttling her internal organs with lard. That gut is.

 

[multiverse]

Stories today. Tess answers your questions! (Duh she and Nick broke up; of course you can praise her in public; and best of all for our nail spergs: her nail techs' names!); she is uber gay because music; she has a Tik Tok now; she buys more crap instead of getting her own apartment.

 

[JambledUpWords]

I am a womxn

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

Had a look at the nail artists' accounts. I really doubt that Tess is still using them, because they don't look nearly as bad as her latest monstrosities. I mean, nailthug has some ugly/bad ones, but not nearly as uggo as the most recent ones.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

Act of resistance
Womxn
Emotional warfare
Gender binary (perjorative)
Work to be done
Hold space

Well done, Tess. You included all the garbage, vague and dubious concepts (not to mention grotesque, politicized spellings) of the day into another post that was really just about yelling 'look at my tits and tell me I'm hot and strong (but most of all hot)' on the internet. Gold star stickers for YOU, you airheaded crapbag.

 

[SnarkySperg]

I am a womxn
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Whenever I see women spelled that way I completely fuck it up in my head. I know it's to take 'man' out of it, but it's so goddamn obnoxious.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Only catching up now, but can someone explain how cassette is superior to CDs? I know that tape storage is a good archival medium, but is there a noticeable audio difference between cassette and CD that my admittedly uncultural ears can't pick up on?

It's Nick-the-prick being a twat.

Cassettes were a compromise, because of the ease of recording onto them at live gigs and copying albums, but once cd/r then digital recorders came along they really became obsolete. Their re-imagining now is mostly eejits like this trying to appear "cool" to the kids but with pretender gravitas .

True hifi spergs will always choose vinyl but even many hifi separates don't come with the necessary any more - vinyl output is very low so requires a separate head amplifier or card to do its purpose within an ordinary amp. And outside the niche separates market, all-in-one systems rarely have a phono option any more, so even to play vinyl you're looking at additional outlay. To actually appreciate vinyl, that outlay can easily go into the thousands.

So if you want analogue without spending a lot of money, cassette is the alternative but it's a very poor one (am hifi weirdo and have a separates cassette player cos I can't be arsed to get the necessary to play vinyl) because it's very lo-fidelity. Even good players recording from high quality media have very obvious extraneous noise that can really only be combatted at extremely high quality studio levels, and tapes themselves are a pain in the arse. They break, stretch, drop out, deteriorate over time etc etc.

Nick's being a precious spastic. There is some music which sounds pretty awful on CD, even with good equipment and analogue cables - obscure 60's garage bands, punk, stuff like Hendrix - and as @Parthenos said, cassette is a sort of compromise because it's lo-fi music. But nobody in their right minds is choosing to put money into cassettes and players and their resurgence is very niche and will be a five-minute-marvel.

People mimsy on about vinyl and that's annoying enough but at least has a foundational basis but those being precious about audio cassettes are exactly this sort of wanker. CDs became massive for a reason and a lot of those being all artsy about vinyl don't have equipment anywhere near good enough to really pick up the difference, or have it set up correctly because you can be getting into really heavy territory like sonic walls and ceiling adjustments. I'm old, I've got a shit-ton of vinyl, a good cassette player and proper separates joined with miles and miles of solid cables to good speakers - already obsolete by today's standards, most prefer the least messy option - and I bloody love CDs. Most of us aren't audiophiles (I'm not) and those that are would absolutely wipe the floor with this mountebank pretender because he's talking shite.


Billions of edits cos words are hard but typos make me twitch.

 

[Water-T]

Oh, look at how brave and noble Tess is! She doesn't dress like a meth-addicted hooker that lives in a trailer for attention or to attract men, but FOR ALL WOMEN! Tess forces her hooves into clear heels every day, not to walk the street corner for $10 a shot, but to STOMP ON PATRIARCHY! Her stretched out bras don't just support her massives fat bags she calls breasts - they SUPPORT ALL OF WOMANHOOD! The cheap makeup Tess puts on that makes her look like the most desperate last call before the bar closes is not just mere Chinese knockoffs of Fenty....it's actually WAR PAINT IN THE FIGHTS FOR EQUAL RIGHTS!

 

[Antipathy]

Oh, look at how brave and noble Tess is! She doesn't dress like a meth-addicted hooker that lives in a trailer for attention or to attract men, but FOR ALL WOMEN! Tess forces her hooves into clear heels every day, not to walk the street corner for $10 a shot, but to STOMP ON PATRIARCHY! Her stretched out bras don't just support her massives fat bags she calls breasts - they SUPPORT ALL OF WOMANHOOD! The cheap makeup Tess puts on that makes her look like the most desperate last call before the bar closes is not just mere Chinese knockoffs of Fenty....it's actually WAR PAINT IN THE FIGHTS FOR EQUAL RIGHTS!

It's not hundreds of pounds of lard, it's a PROTECTIVE SHIELD AGAINST BIGOTRY

 

[SnarkySperg]

This fucking bitch....for some reason it finally connected for me that she posted a photo of her gunt, trashy looking hands, and tits...to say 'fuck the patriarchy'? What?

 

[Vastly Amused]

This fucking bitch....for some reason it finally connected for me that she posted a photo of her gunt, trashy looking hands, and tits...to say 'fuck the patriarchy'? What?

She's lashing out because the patriarchy doesn't want to fuck HER.

 

[multiverse]

Messy Tessy was off for more styling and beauty treatments in order to appear on some low budget talk show. The biggest draw there was a washed up former castmate of The Hills. Tess was there because she's a MAWM. Look at the other moms. Now look at you, looking like a pudding. Tess even shows off her ~badass mawm~ hoodie. Did you tell the talk show that you're couch surfing with your toddler and pawned your teenage son off on an ex who isn't his father?

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

Messy Tessy was off for more styling and beauty treatments in order to appear on some low budget talk show. The biggest draw there was a washed up former castmate of The Hills. Tess was there because she's a MAWM. Look at the other moms. Now look at you, looking like a pudding. Tess even shows off her ~badass mawm~ hoodie. Did you tell the talk show that you're couch surfing with your toddler and pawned your teenage son off on an ex who isn't his father?
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> Begs for attention by appearing on shitty talk show
> Talk show is all about being a mom
> Wears a hoodie saying "badass mother"
> Child is located...
> ????????
> Asspats for landwhale mom for being so brave and strong, slay queen yaaas
> Baby Bowie probably watches all by himself at home, sucking on a Saltine

 

[Cheesegirl78]

True badass mothers don't need to wear hoodies that claim they're a badass mother, Tess.
People just know it.

She's starting to remind me of Kailyn and all her mom necklaces.

 

[JambledUpWords]

This is rich coming from someone who was able to get a career based off being fat. This post is also a video, so can someone please embed it on here in case it’s deleted?

Here’s some comments from Tess and others:

 

[Homer Simpson]

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Fuck this bitch in her 7 hole. Seriously, that shit is ridiculous. You just know she was doing like 5 in a 30 or whatever and acts the victim. People like that shouldn't have the right to drive since it statistically causes more accidents. "To make it worse, a woman who I assume was his partner was backing his behaviour." I WONDER WHY CUNT!? Maybe it's because it isn't about gender you dwarf planet and it has to do with the fact your fat ass can't drive.