Wuhan Coronavirus: Megathread - Got too big

[Reverend]

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John McAfee. America's National Autistic Treasured billionaire.

 

[LazyLizard]

Kenya, Ghana and Ethiopia have confirmed their first coronavirus cases

African countries are increasingly concerned about the arrival of international visitors from Europe where the majority of Africa's cases have originated.

qz.com

Unfortunately...

lets be honest, african countries have been infected since the beginning, especially with how much travel and import there is from china. the only reason they are only now getting positive tests is because they are such shitty nations that they didn't even realize a new plague was there they just thought it was a normal tuesday.

 

[Anti Fun Aktion]

In hindsight, I find it funny a bunch of online shit posters were spreading the news about the Wu Flu almost two months before the media reported it. I first heard about it listening to Mr. Metokur.

 

[Aria]

Italy reports 250 new deaths and 2,547 new cases, raising total to 1,266 dead and 17,660 cases.

BNO Newsroom on Twitter

“BREAKING: Italy reports 250 new deaths and 2,547 new cases, raising total to 1,266 dead and 17,660 cases https://t.co/eUoE2b20hL”

twitter.com

http://archive.li/18fVO

 

[rando0675309]

Italy reports 250 new deaths and 2,547 new cases, raising total to 1,266 dead and 17,660 cases.

BNO Newsroom on Twitter

“BREAKING: Italy reports 250 new deaths and 2,547 new cases, raising total to 1,266 dead and 17,660 cases https://t.co/eUoE2b20hL”

twitter.com

Note to self: Don't get seriously ill or injured in Italy

And Uncle Boiney wants that same system here in Burgerland? Great idea

 

[Marchesa of the Vast]

Toilet paper? You guys don't shower after you shit?

I'm so happy I own guns. Gonna wait for the libfags on my block to stock up and then go collect.

I shit naked and then dunk myself into my isolation tank make sure I become one with the fecal cloud.

 

[EmuWarsVeteran]

Wonderful titular on the news that keeps insisting on attempting to murder my sides:


Translation of the first "some confuse isolation with vacation". The rest are marketing for coronavirus-themed parties and festivals. Because fuck safety. I'mma die during this outbreak, not of corona, but of laughing too hard.

 

[Nonconsentual Pronouns]

9:11 a.m. Coronavirus scammers reported in East Bay: Alameda County sheriff's deputies say a person reported the first coronavirus-related scam after receiving a phone call that claimed a loved one had COVID-19 and got into an accident en route to the hospital. The caller told the person their loved one was arrested after the accident and needed $13,000 for bail. “Be aware!” officials said.

Is anyone surprised that the chinks and shitskins have no capacity to understand that now's not the time?

 

[Fatrick Hamlinson]

seems they have tracked the virus all the way back to the middle of november so it's no longer late december 2019 when it started which just makes the whole thing more confusing.

China’s first confirmed Covid-19 case traced back to November 17

Government records suggest first person infected with new disease may have been a Hubei resident aged 55, but ‘patient zero’ has yet to be confirmed.

www.scmp.com

How wonderful. I was in NYC in the middle of December, and I became pretty ill on the way home. Probably wasn't coronavirus, but yay anyway.

 

[737 MAX Stan Account]

Italy reports 250 new deaths and 2,547 new cases, raising total to 1,266 dead and 17,660 cases.

BNO Newsroom on Twitter

“BREAKING: Italy reports 250 new deaths and 2,547 new cases, raising total to 1,266 dead and 17,660 cases https://t.co/eUoE2b20hL”

twitter.com

That puts them at a 7% fatality rate. Will it hit 10?

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

lets be honest, african countries have been infected since the beginning, especially with how much travel and import there is from china. the only reason they are only now getting positive tests is because they are such shitty nations that they didn't even realize a new plague was there they just thought it was a normal tuesday.

Aww man I'm having a penis gourd made by Popgumgumgumclick, I hope it doesn't get held at customs. It was for a party.

 

[Muttnik]

My Dad has to call India frequently for his job. He said that they told him that they think we're all overreacting in burgerland. Apparently, they deal with this shit all the time due to the country's awful sanitation.

 

[Fatrick Hamlinson]

That puts them at a 7% fatality rate. Will it hit 10?

When I get home, after a well-deserved nap, I intend to create a graph of the number of infected and dead from Italy, and construct a best-fit line from the data points. I want to be able to visualize and afterwards, extrapolate, what the hell is going on over there. I was waiting for the virus to hit a country that wouldn't lie (as much) about the number of dead.

 

[Slap47]

CEO Erick Hayden on Twitter

“Nothing to see here. Two months ago, Charles Lieber—Jewish scientist at Harvard—was caught working w/ Chinese nationals who were smuggling biological materials into China. Then Corona breaks out, hitting Iran & China particularly hard. Now Israel has the vaccine before anyone...

twitter.com

https://archive.is/SaboD

Jordan Peterson was right.... wash your foreskin.

Just look at Italy, with its "public healthcare", and see for yourself how people are abandoned in times of crisis by their "best in the world" utopian system.

Italy's been a shithole since it developed a culture of patronage in the aftermath of the fall of Rome. The UK poorly funds its system and is all around incompetent. People who bitch about the Canadian system almost always come from Quebec.

 

[Nonconsentual Pronouns]

(minor) Travis AFB update

The sound of planes and choppers has become 95% nonstop. There are only occasional pauses in between that last for less than five seconds. Shit be going down because of old Chinatown. Hahahah so many of us are going to die.
Meanwhile, the new Android update has disabled my phone by deciding to no longer recognize my pin and no one from Verizon or Best Buy will help. Happy Friday the 13th, everybody!

 

[Green Man]

My Dad has to call India frequently for his job. He said that they told him that they think we're all overreacting in burgerland. Apparently, they deal with this shit all the time due to the country's awful sanitation.

I'm not beating down the door to take public health advice from people who call a river sacred to their religion, yet shit in it, dump garbage in it and throw dead bodies in it, then proceed to bathe in the very same river downstream. I'm also not looking for pointers from a people who in 2020 have still not managed to figure out even a latrine or an outhouse, preferring instead to drop a deuce on a public street.

Same reason I don't ask for advice from Californian street-people.

 

[Iuz]

http://archive.is/wip/KvI4y

"SACRAMENTO —
California Gov. Gavin Newsom released a sweeping executive order on Thursday that allows the state to commandeer hotels and medical facilities to treat coronavirus patients and permits government officials to hold teleconferences in private without violating open meeting laws.
Newsom issued the order hours after he called for the cancellation of gatherings of 250 or more people through the end of March, marking the first time he has applied so-called social distancing practices to the entire state of California.
“This is where we need to go next, and to make sure we fully implement those procedures and protocols to slow down the spread to get through a peak and to get through the next few months, so we don’t overwhelm our healthcare delivery system,” Newsom told reporters."

 

[Overcooked Raccoon]

https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2020/03/13/boston-coronavirus-celtics-museums-marathon-mbta/

News from Boston. The Boston Marathon has been delayed and Charlie Baker (Mayor) has declared a 250 person gathering limit on events held in the city due to the virus. He said the limit would be raised after testing but right now we have no clue when that's going to happen let alone how long the testing will be.

This is causing some local conventions like Anime Boston to make judgement calls on if they'll go through with it or royally fuck everyone over with a late cancellation.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2020/03/13/boston-coronavirus-celtics-museums-marathon-mbta/

News from Boston. The Boston Marathon has been delayed and Charlie Baker (Mayor) has declared a 250 person gathering limit on events held in the city due to the virus. He said the limit would be raised after testing but right now we have no clue when that's going to happen let alone how long the testing will be.

This is causing some local conventions like Anime Boston to make judgement calls on if they'll go through with it or royally fuck everyone over with a late cancellation.

I’m surprised there are 250 people who want to be seen at an anime convention.

 

[Your Weird Fetish]

My Dad has to call India frequently for his job. He said that they told him that they think we're all overreacting in burgerland. Apparently, they deal with this shit all the time due to the country's awful sanitation.

A hundred thousand people dying in India is completely insignificant to them.