Sorry for you. The only way you can "honor" me is to go on and be successful in your own life. That's all I raised you to do.
Fuck, I spent my life in love with my children. I helped grow them to become responsible adults. The constant Boomer hate I see can be unnerving. I dedicated my life to make each of my children successful. I don't see that as wrong and even though I turn 65 this year, I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.
The only thing I can add is cue Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young on the Kiwi Jukebox.
Some, not all. More than you think would sacrifice everything for their kids/grandkids.
Look, I would never have continued this conversation, if it weren't for the fact that apparently I am not the only one on here dealing with this baggage in the face of a pandemic that kills the elderly. Dead. So obviously there is a clear cohort on here who is privately grinding mental gears about these issues.
One major issue with early boomers and silent generation parents is that many of them treated love like a commodity, to be earned, for fear of "spoiling" the child. So put the baby on a schedule, per your convenience. Spank kids when they inconvenience you. Make them earn everything, including your love because you spoil children by showing weakness and letting them exploit it.
So quite frankly, many Gen X-ers, wonder if you guys ever loved us at all. Especially after having our own children. Especially since many of you did such a piss poor job of protecting us from abuse at the hands of other parents, of relatives, schools and religious institutions.
No. It did not build character. The accumulation of all of it tore our souls to shreds, and we go thru life looking over our shoulders even in our own bedroom sanctuary with our back up against the wall.
Hopefully your kids are not hiding these feelings from you, for fear of another torrent of rage unleashing on you.
Parents who were quick to punish, hesitant to praise, and sequestered the children at 8 pm in separate bedrooms while they were rustling about the house doing what they wanted to do. Many of you openly expressed your right to be "free" of all the demands that kids place on them, when they put the kids to bed or left them with relatives who were even more terrifying. All so that they could "take the break" that they felt entitled to.
Now, we have the dark spectre of Child Protective Services hanging over us. We have CPS because of the abuse that your generation and the silent generation unleashed on us, was so bad that they had to do something. But our parents never did. So they were basically allowed, unchecked, to punish as how they saw fit, be it emotional or physical, or holding their love and approval as a carrot on a stick, making the beast work for something that was always just out of reach. And we ... if we step out of line we face torrents of abuse from agencies like CPS.
So our lives will never be free from abuse. It is like you guys planned it that way.
It is the bad apples who spoil the batch. If you did not use these parenting tactics, all the more power to you. But if you did, I am giving you a word of advice. (Most of the Boomers I know are deeply resentful of any advice) Face these parenting choices, that your children had to "get over" (they never did) or "forgive you for" (who knows ...) in order to carry on and be considered completely adult.
Even Corona-free, elderly people can succumb very quickly to a lot of stuff because on a cellular level, your cells are aging exponentially. Like after 70, the aging process mushrooms. Show your kids you care, by actually listening to them, and not hijacking the agenda to meet your needs. It might be their last memory of you.
www.bloomberg.com
