Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Shield Breaker]

Also, Disney's stock is getting downgraded.

Analyst Upgrades Fox, Downgrades Disney in New Coronavirus Impact Report

The move "primarily reflects our view that Fox is best positioned among peers in a weaker, but ultimately stable consumer environment," says Guggenheim's Michael Morris.

www.hollywoodreporter.com

Proof even God hates the ST.

 

[ZMOT]

The Star Wars game they recently canceled was "Destiny" where every card came with a dice. That cannot have been cheap to produce (dice can run up your production costs quick). I'll dig around to see if I can learn why it was halted but it wouldn't surprise me if it just wasn't selling well enough to be worth it.

the card game was discontinued 2018, but FFG has been killing off unprofitable stuff long before they started shitting out endless star wars/lotr/cthullu - and now marvel - cardboard. I don't expect their new star wars miniature game to survive long either, only a fool would invest in a line that will be unceremoniously euthanized if it doesn't deliver the expected returns (just look at rune wars miniatures and how that turned out).

why they didn't make the star wars card game coop after lotr and arkham are selling like hotcakes is beyond me (lotr is chugging along for almost 10 years now, which is basically unheard of for a FFG game)

 

[Oaat]

The speds at Gizmodo wrote this:

Our Fascination With Canon Is Killing the Way We Value Stories

As the pop culture we love becomes increasingly dominated by vast franchises of interconnected worlds and stories, so does it become dominated by one, singular question from diehard fans: Is the thing we’re about to consume canon to everything else we’ve consumed before? It’s an attitude that’s...

web.archive.org

http://archive.vn/jx4K8

God forbid you just write something original if you're not interested in continuing the story.

 

[Adamska]

So it seems that infamous Story Group member Matt "Porgcuck" Martin also discovered the Gizmodo article which he absolutely creamed his pants over and had himself a spergout on Twitter.

For those who don't remember, Porgcuck Martin is the self-appointed spokesperson for Kennedy's horribly incompetent and useless Story Group which he was appointed to despite having no experience in writing anything outside of merchandise descriptions on websites. In fact, poorly shilling merch is all he knows how to do (and he ain't that good at it either):
View attachment 1213469View attachment 1213468
Before the Disney takeover all this fucker did was shill merch on the SW website, but for some reason (or because of his tremendous ass kissing) Kennedy & Friends gave him a position as a proof reader and creative executive, a position which he initially liked bragging about on Twitter and which led to him acting as an "informant" for fans if they wanted to know what is and what isn't canon, which suffice it to say he is incredibly bipolar about, loving questions that involve fellating Disney but loathing or sarcastically responding to pre-Disney questions or continuity errors in current canon. For comparison, some of his predecessors like Leland Chee would answer all of these with no difficulty with his only grievance being not understanding why some people liked the Empire so much. Meanwhile Matt is incredibly pissy and easily flustered, and often makes his loathing or indifference for pre-Disney media well known, such as Bothans. He also hates "scientific" questions, things his predecessors eagerly answered but he loathes, even something as simple as what a certain device in the shitty movies is called or what it does, with some expecting some made up but interesting sounding bullshit, but he can't even be arsed to do that and just sarcastically tells people to fuck off or gives them joke answers which the asperger archivists at Wookieepedia take 100% seriously, like claiming that "jamming sensors" in Plan 9 works the same way as it did in Spaceballs which is then followed by him whining about disliking scifi. So great choice there as usual Kennedy, putting a guy with zero interest in a brand outside of consooming toys and merch endlessly, in charge of story making.

He then basically says through this tweet how much he hates answering questions about lore and canon in general now despite that being his only claim to fame among Disney drones and eternal loyalists and requiring little effort on his part, and this also being the only reason these dorks even talk to him.
View attachment 1213509View attachment 1213510View attachment 1213513
Basically even toying with the idea of just linking the article when anyone asks him a question, effectively confirming Disney canon is not canon and io9's opinion is Disney approved. The sassy cunt then just mutes the whole thing and blocks any dissenters.

Now that the movies are over I guess he and the story group are no longer contractually obligated to pretend that they give a shit, much like how so many highly active Disney Wars drones and Wookieepedia's Disney elitists suddenly just disappeared back in January. All they want to do now is blog endlessly about themselves and get praise and attention for doing nothing.

Also this pretty much sums up the current and hollow state of the fandom and the brand:

Star Wars on Twitter

“#ThisWeekInStarWars, we're rounding up all the news from a galaxy far, far away: ✅first look at new Jedi from #StarWarsTheHighRepublic! ✅ Alphabet Squadron returns! ✅ we show off your #CuteStarWarsPets & more! Presented by @GEICO. #ad https://t.co/Lf64kTKJYa”

twitter.com

You forgot the best part about this utter loser: not a single one of the Lucasfilms related projects remotely listens to him or Fat Fuck Pablo, meaning that he can't leash together any of the many projects that cancel each other or reintroduce shit he has to explain. Neither has any ability to force a coherent set of canon articles; he cannot a Council of Nicea to finalize the lore.

Due to the sheer incompetence of Kennedy and co, this cunt is worthless as a canon guide even before considering his laziness and entitlement since THE COMPANY IGNORES HIM.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

People like canon because it creates continuity and consistency. Economizing on things like recurring characters and loyalty to in-universe rules and world-building is the ultimate reward for people who are passionately keeping up with the story; it's the author/creator's gesture to show that they value the attention that fans are paying to their work. But the morons at Gizmondo, Screenrant, and Collider would have you believe that working exhaustively to preserve a canon is a bad thing, something that limits and stifles storytelling, and that anyone who prioritizes them is acting entitled.

The thing is that, when it comes to real life storytelling, having preset rules increases originality because it forces the writer to think of unique solutions to problems within the story and craft the story in accordance. When there are no rules you can just immediately give a simple solution to a problem. The easiest example is the "holdo manuever", that the solution when ignoring the rules was the most unoriginal shit ever. Meanwhile solutions like Breaking Bad's "cripple bomb" are like a perfect solution to a complex puzzle where everything connects.

I think modern writing got too enamored with shows like Lost, the writers just throw things they find interesting into the story and only afterwards connect the dots to jump between those points.

 

[Adamska]

The thing is that, when it comes to real life storytelling, having preset rules increases originality because it forces the writer to think of unique solutions to problems within the story and craft the story in accordance. When there are no rules you can just immediately give a simple solution to a problem. The easiest example is the "holdo manuever", that the solution when ignoring the rules was the most unoriginal shit ever. Meanwhile solutions like Breaking Bad's "cripple bomb" are like a perfect solution to a complex puzzle where everything connects.

I think modern writing got too enamored with shows like Lost, the writers just throw things they find interesting into the story and only afterwards connect the dots to jump between those points.

They fell in love with the idea of low effort and no thought products just lazily using IP to get asses seated to watch. It's very tempting to get lazy, since less work on a product means more time sobbing on a toilet thought posting site or eating artisanal bread bowls.

 

[Absolutego]

The thing is that, when it comes to real life storytelling, having preset rules increases originality because it forces the writer to think of unique solutions to problems within the story and craft the story in accordance. When there are no rules you can just immediately give a simple solution to a problem. The easiest example is the "holdo manuever", that the solution when ignoring the rules was the most unoriginal shit ever. Meanwhile solutions like Breaking Bad's "cripple bomb" are like a perfect solution to a complex puzzle where everything connects.

I think modern writing got too enamored with shows like Lost, the writers just throw things they find interesting into the story and only afterwards connect the dots to jump between those points.

This is why I don't think Hollywood is going to start making jack shit worth watching again until the industry collectively turns on Bad Robot. Their approach to storytelling has ruined pretty much every cornerstone sci-fi and fantasy franchise.

 

[Flexo]

the card game was discontinued 2018, but FFG has been killing off unprofitable stuff long before they started shitting out endless star wars/lotr/cthullu - and now marvel - cardboard. I don't expect their new star wars miniature game to survive long either, only a fool would invest in a line that will be unceremoniously euthanized if it doesn't deliver the expected returns (just look at rune wars miniatures and how that turned out).

why they didn't make the star wars card game coop after lotr and arkham are selling like hotcakes is beyond me (lotr is chugging along for almost 10 years now, which is basically unheard of for a FFG game)

I can't exactly mark agree on your post...

FFG had 2 Star Wars card games - the LCG and Destiny which was the CCG style.

Miniatures wise it has Xwing 1.0, Xwing 2.0, Armada, Imperial Assault, and Legion. So you've got to be a bit more specific.

As for your coop question. Arkham Horror was released in 2016 (and is kind of a reboot of the old "Call of Cthulhu" LCG). LotR was released in 2011, Marvel Champions was released in 2019, and Star Wars... was released in 2012.

Yeah their coop games do well, but there was hardly any sign of that back when SW came out. Plus "Light vs Dark" has been a part of Star Wars games since way back during the Decipher game. It's just obvious as some players are going to want to be Darth Vader.

 

[RumblyTumbly]

The funny thing to me is that the rules of the world makes things more exciting.

The climax to Back to the Future works so well because they pounded the rules into our skulls. He HAS to get to 88MPH, he HAS to hit his mark right as the lightning strikes because that's the only thing that can generate the power needed to activate the Flux Capacitor. The cable HAS to be connected to conduct the electricity to Marty's point where he needs to hit the 88MPH.

When things start going wrong, it gets dramatic and tense because we know the rules.

If they were making it today, they would throw the 88 MPH rule out the window, and they'd find some other way to get around not needing the lightning bolt or anything, and the ending would feel like a cheat.

New Force Powers are okay to introduce, but what they were doing in Rise of Skywalker was just confusing and infuriating because it goes against all the rules we already know. How can Rey teleport a Lightsaber to someone? How does Kylo know that she's doing that? How was she trained to do it? If Leia was her instructor and taught it to her, how does Leia know how to do things that Luke can't? That last point raises all sorts of questions like why did they even bother looking for Luke in the first place if Leia could have trained her or why the map to him was even important at all.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

They fell in love with the idea of low effort and no thought products just lazily using IP to get asses seated to watch. It's very tempting to get lazy, since less work on a product means more time sobbing on a toilet thought posting site or eating artisanal bread bowls.

I don't think it's about low effort, since the type to create those franchises love to smell their own farts, plus it isn't immediately apperant the films are bad. I'd say that the problem with modern writing is it about having what YOU (the writer/director) want, without regard to how it combines to the previous established rules or even how it combines between scenes in the same film/series/comic. So 99% of the effort will be spent on specific scenes or themes that might clash with the history of the franchise, and connecting those scenes together/having a conclusion is only done afterwards.

 

[Flexo]

I don't think it's about low effort, since the type to create those franchises love to smell their own farts, plus it isn't immediately apperant the films are bad. I'd say that the problem with modern writing is it about having what YOU (the writer/director) want, without regard to how it combines to the previous established rules or even how it combines between scenes in the same film/series/comic. So 99% of the effort will be spent on specific scenes or themes that might clash with the history of the franchise, and connecting those scenes together/having a conclusion is only done afterwards.

I don't see you or @Adamska as having mutually exclusive points, but rather think you are BOTH right, which is why modern stories are so uniquely awful.

See also:

(the blank canvas point especially gets to me)

 

[Adamska]

Oh, and one last reason they're shit is they're not even writing for something new and creative; they're tending to write out of spite and to hamfistedly do propaganda.

So they don't even enjoy the act of creation, they only like co-opting and destroying the works of others to spite those they cry bully at.

 

[Flexo]

Glorious day, everyone!

Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker

Ever since the original premiered in 1977, Star Wars fans have waited to see how the Skywalker saga would end. Sure, the decades were challenging, with plenty of highs and lows along the way. But finally, at long last, we all got to see the big conclusion we’d been waiting for! And afterward...

www.rifftrax.com

 

[vern]

Well......

HWK-290 Expansion Pack

Designed by Corellian Engineering Corporation to resemble a bird in flight, the “hawk” series excels in its role as a personal transport. The HWK-290 Expansion Pack comes with one detailed miniature at 1/270 scale, a maneuver dial, all necessary tokens, six upgrades, and four pilots, including...

www.fantasyflightgames.com

Was kind of already in Xwing 1.

The Star Wars game they recently canceled was "Destiny" where every card came with a dice. That cannot have been cheap to produce (dice can run up your production costs quick). I'll dig around to see if I can learn why it was halted but it wouldn't surprise me if it just wasn't selling well enough to be worth it.

When I said there was talk about adding legend ships into the games it wasn't just a few ships for the already existing factions but full on new factions taken from the post OT (which is why I think it was an april fools rumor) ranging from the New Republic and Imperial Remnant, to the Empire of the Hand and the Vongs weird biological starships/starfighters

 

[Creep3r]

Glorious day, everyone!

Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker

Ever since the original premiered in 1977, Star Wars fans have waited to see how the Skywalker saga would end. Sure, the decades were challenging, with plenty of highs and lows along the way. But finally, at long last, we all got to see the big conclusion we’d been waiting for! And afterward...

www.rifftrax.com

Nice. But I can't help but talk about this line.

Ever since the original premiered in 1977, Star Wars fans have waited to see how the Skywalker saga would end. Sure, the decades were challenging, with plenty of highs and lows along the way. But finally, at long last, we all got to see the big conclusion we’d been waiting for!

They're probably just parodying Disney Wars loyalists who repeat this line (I hope), but this line always weirds me out because I see it in so many places. Like some sort of crazy revisionist shit. So many people keep saying they waited decades or since the 80s to see how the "Skywalker saga" would end despite the term not even being a thing until around TLJ just so Disney could set up Plan IX as a final film despite them initially planning more shitty films. I mean nobody wondered or even thought about this saga ever having an ending. ROTJ was it and tied up all the loose ends, and the prequels for all their flaws don't add any stupid mystery boxes that needed to be open later on. People keep claiming "but Yoda said there is another! So that proves Rey was always intended and canon" which is bullshit for many reasons, but Yoda was clearly talking about Leia as a backup plan should Luke die. There was no Skywalker Saga and ROTJ left no room for doubts or questions that made people think "OMG how will this saga end?!". Disney and its drones just clearly pulled this shit out of their asses to try and justify the sequels' existence or any moronic mistakes made in Disney Wars. Even the post-ROTJ content before Disney was more like add-ons and bonuses that tell you more of what happened afterwards and expand on the story with new adventures to add more or show how Luke brought back the Jedi, but even that was for the sake of knowing more and adding more, like finding out what an old friend is up to, not because ROTJ ended on loose ends or desperately needed sequels. People are acting as if Disney shit was absolutely essential to truly make the franchise whole and make the OT complete, when really it didn't need completion. Continuation? Sure. Awesome. We got a lot of that. But to say it wasn't complete is ridiculous. At best the only thing missing from the OT was George's original idea for making ROTJ two films rather than one. And Disney sequels don't tie up anything or resolve anything, or even add or continue anything, they just unravel and destroy to boost their own status while replacing intrigue and mystery with hollow mystery boxes.

The only positive I get from idiots trying to enforce this Skywalker Saga revisionist crap is that most people will (hopefully...) only remember it as a name for the last SW lego game with forced in sequel shit because TLJ didn't warrant enough popularity for its own lego game.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

So Indy 5 has been delayed to July 2022 now because of Corona. With a bunch of movies from them being pushed, the untitled Star Wars that’s expected to come out in 2022 will likely be delayed.

‘Black Widow,’ ‘Eternals,’ ‘Indiana Jones 5’ and More Disney Films Get New Release Dates

From “Black Widow” and “The Eternals” to “Indiana Jones 5,” Disney has overhauled the release calendar for most of its upcoming films as movie theaters remain cl…

www.google.com

 

[Flexo]

They're probably just parodying Disney Wars loyalists who repeat this line (I hope), but this line always weirds me out because I see it in so many places.

You must not hang out on Rifftrax much, because I can't even read that line without hearing the dripping sarcasm.

Especially as the following line is: "And afterward, the world cried out as one, “...Oh. Huh.”"

Some choice lines from other movies.

Spoiler: Lovely But Deadly

Lovely But Deadly starts off fairly straightforward: a logger suffers an accident in Idaho so he sends his son to live with his wealthy aunt in California, where he succumbs to the temptation of drugs and swims into the ocean in search of a tuna, causing his sister to also move from Idaho and enroll in his high school to get revenge on the drug dealer by shoving his mouth full of homemade drugs at the prom, which does not kill him but somehow causes him to hang himself once he gets to the hospital.

From there it gets kinda weird.

Spoiler: Robo Vampire

Did the world really need another vampire movie? After all, we know all the tropes: they hop around like they’re on invisible pogo sticks, their leader is a gorilla who wants to marry a ghost-witch, and they love heroin.

Okay, so maybe Robo Vampire takes a few liberties with Mr. Stoker’s original mythos. But what it lacks in tradition it more than makes up for in utterly incoherent madness. There’s not even a Robo Vampire and that’s like the thirtieth most crazy thing in the movie Robo Vampire.

Spoiler: Phantom Menace

On sale today!

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Of all the many Binks in the world, who is the most skull-crushingly annoying? Is it the Binks Company, the Canadian insurance brokers? Is it the U.S. manufacturers of spray guns, paint booths, and electrostatic spray equipment? Or is Jar Jar, the mouthy horse-lizard from the 4th Star Wars...

www.rifftrax.com

Of all the many Binks in the world, who is the most skull-crushingly annoying? Is it the Binks Company, the Canadian insurance brokers? Is it the U.S. manufacturers of spray guns, paint booths, and electrostatic spray equipment? Or is Jar Jar, the mouthy horse-lizard from the 4th Star Wars movie, appropriately titled Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace? If you said anything but number three, you are imprisonably insane!

Needless to say, I've stopped being able to read the movie descriptions seriously any more.

 

[Flexo]

People keep claiming "but Yoda said there is another! So that proves Rey was always intended and canon" which is bullshit for many reasons, but Yoda was clearly talking about Leia as a backup plan should Luke die. There was no Skywalker Saga and ROTJ left no room for doubts or questions that made people think "OMG how will this saga end?!".

Double post but I wanted to comment on this separately.

Per SFDebris' "making of" video essay, the rough original plan was for Vader to be defeated in e6, then for the Emperor to be the arc villain for a possibly whole new trilogy. By the time RotJ actually rolled around and George was exhausted of his empire, he decided to crunch all of the loose threads into the final movie.

Originally, yes, there was going to be a skywalker girl hidden on the opposite side of the galaxy as the possible protagonist of e7-9. And there might have been something interesting had Lucas left that open for Rey to be revealed as a niece (for example). But since George couldn't leave any loose ends (he must be a bit autistic or OCD), he had to deal with "the other" in the last movie. With Palpatine being introduced, there wasn't much room for yet another new character, so the lost sibling had to be drawn from the original cast. Considering the choices were:
Droids
Chewie
Lando
Han
Leia

You can immediately tell why Leia was the one chosen (even though a love triangle was planned from the start of SW too). So you could say the Disney folks are partially right, but as usual oversell their case.

But then I'm in danger of ranting about the sequels again...

 

[BipolarPon]

Basically even toying with the idea of just linking the article when anyone asks him a question, effectively confirming Disney canon is not canon and io9's opinion is Disney approved. The sassy cunt then just mutes the whole thing and blocks any dissenters.

Now that the movies are over I guess he and the story group are no longer contractually obligated to pretend that they give a shit, much like how so many highly active Disney Wars drones and Wookieepedia's Disney elitists suddenly just disappeared back in January. All they want to do now is blog endlessly about themselves and get praise and attention for doing nothing.

I have to admit it's nice to see Lucasfilm admit that there "canon" doesn't even matter.

 

[BipolarPon]

StarWars.com Just released more info on the high republic particularity some of the characters we are going to see.

Avar Kriss

Avar is the brightest, most noble example of Jedi-hood. She always tries to see the good in people and situations, and never puts herself first. She is invigorated about life on the frontier and the challenges it brings, and is an inspiration for those who work with her. She is compassionate, not dogmatic, and always ready to sacrifice herself over others. Avar Kriss is the best of the best.

Avar Kriss looks too much like Kathleen Kennedy, and her bio screams Mary Sue. Will have to wait and see if that's the case later this year.

Loden Greatstorm

Loden is a Twi’lek Jedi Master, and is considered to be one of the best teachers in the Jedi Order. Strong and wise, with a good sense of humor, Loden looks at every moment as a learning experience, always trying to better himself and those around him, especially his Padawans.

Jesus Christ these faces are terrifying. I'm calling it, he's the first one to be killed off in this group of characters.

Keeve Trennis

is a young firebrand Jedi, believed to have a great future ahead of her, if only she would believe it herself. Quick-witted and more impulsive than she should be, Keeve has only been a Jedi Knight for a few weeks and is a little starstruck around Avar, knowing many of the great things Kriss has done in the past. She is determined to prove herself to Avar and the other legendary Jedi stationed on Starlight Beacon, but first she must learn to trust in herself as much as she trusts the Force.

Her name may be a nod to Karen Travis what an unfortunate way to be honored. They just reused Rafta Martez design for her, NuLucasfilm is super lazy.

Stellan Gios

Stellan is an optimistic and well-respected Jedi Master. Stellan came up through the Order with Avar Kriss, and although they are often on different assignments for the Jedi or the Republic, when the two work together they are a powerhouse team of two noble heroes in action. Strong in the Force and a natural teacher, Stellan is currently stationed at one of the Jedi Temple outposts on the distant planet of Caragon-Viner.

He doesn't stand out much, except his cross-guard saber.

Vernestra “Vern” Rwoh

Vern is a newly-minted Jedi Knight. Vernestra, Mirialan, was Padawan to Stellan Gios. She works hard and is devoted to the Jedi Order, more so than most others her age. At sixteen she is one of the youngest Knights in a generation. She struggles to fit in with the adults while also setting a good example for the younger Jedi.

She's a miralan but she lacks any tattoos on her face, it's just concept art but this is a pretty big oversight on their part.

I'm still not excited about any of this, nothing really peaks my interest from this project, it looks too boring or will be a disaster of wokeness.