Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?

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Absolutego said:
1. I can totally see Bob as exactly the kind of weirdo who would turn on audio notifications for his twitter, and
2. Every single one of Bob's ideas for adapting his children's cartoons to mainstream media is stuck in the 2000's. Whether it's the Sonic movie that's basically Dances with Wolves, the Care Bear Paradise Lost idea, and this gritty Splinter movie, they all have the super-serious "what if thing in real world?" mindset trying to make everything gritty and real that reeks of insecurity and dominated the Brown Era of nerd culture before Big Bang Theory ruined everything in a different way. I thought we collectively got over that around the time the Avengers made it on screen, but Bob has remained committed to these exceptional ideas throughout.
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Which is strange because doesn't he hate the Nolan Trilogy and Joker because they are grim, gritty, and realistic?
 
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Wulfpack Legend said:
Which is strange because doesn't he hate the Nolan Trilogy and Joker because they are grim, gritty, and realistic?
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I think he hates the Nolan Trilogy because apparently conservative like them, as for Joker he hates it more for it being about "white CIS male getting pitty party" type shit. If the movie suddenly saaay...a black gay guy as Joker, he'd be all over it.
 
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I wonder sometimes if Bob goes back to all caps those words or if he just does it while typing spur of the moment and that's why he sounds so crazy.

Yes Bob, it sucks right now. It will probably suck until September even though things will likely get back to somehwat normal for everywhere but NYC in May. If you didn't plan or aren't utilizing your time now to better your shitty video editing skills or making more reviews on older movies to actually be something more than consoomer critic no wonder you're having a existential crisis. Your contributions are worth less than a fast food exployee and the current situation proves it.

Just go jerk off to pornhub. Unless your SJW addled mind attributes a wank with guilt and regret, just quit being such a whiny bitch.
 
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Bolo said:
And last:

View attachment 1216418

First, no it's not, it's a shit idea. No one really cares about Slinter, and they sure as fuck don't care when he was just a normal rat... what is the point of a story about mutant animals when they are not MUTANT!!!!‽???? The Origins of the Ninja Turtles was a Daredevil spoof joke, to try to do more to expand the backstory into something "epic" more is just idiotic.

I'm aware that the modern TMNT comic do have a larger backstory now for the turtles, they are now reincarnations of medieval japanese kids, sons of a japanese ninja who is also reincarnated as slinter... yes..

But I'm also aware that those TMNT comic sell like wet farts... so what?

But if you think the pitch is so great Robert, then write the script fatass. The most useless thing in the industry you so oh much want to break in are these crappy "pop thing A meets pop thing B" elevator pitches. Everybody fancies themselves as a idea man, but few have the stones to do the heavy lifiting.

Heck, David Mamet goes a step further, he said everyone can write a great first act, because that is just the set up, the meat and potatoes though? few can deliver.

But nah, keep twitting your frustrations away, it's the only way you ever hope to be trully entretaining.
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I could see something based on the CG TMNT show in 2012 where Splinter was actually a human who was an actual ninjutsu master and had a prior relationship to Shredder. Of course Bob is talking about the old stuff because he's stuck in the past.
 
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Wulfpack Legend said:
Which is strange because doesn't he hate the Nolan Trilogy and Joker because they are grim, gritty, and realistic?
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No, he hates the Nolan Trilogy and Joker because they invited all these untermenschen jocks who regularly shower into the fandom who liked how "badass" Batman was and went on to praise the Snyder movies. Once Bob realized he was once again sharing interests with the outgroup, he began to claim he hated the movies. But the internet never forgets (and Bob didn't delete):
The first 30 seconds of the review said:
J-J-First and foremost, why the fuck are you even looking at reviews of this? Go see the goddamn movie! Do you really need to hear all this again, from another critic? Best fucking movie of the summer, maybe the entire year. One of the best superhero movies ever. Heath Ledger owns, he will be nominated for an Oscar. He should win it. It's essentially perfect. There, now you've heard that from everyone on the goddamn planet and me (lmao Bob why would you ever share that trenchcoat picture, seriously, watch the intro), now get to the theater!
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Guess you can add that to the list of Consoomer traits:
"There is no bad content, only bad fans."
that was a "There are no bad tactics, only bad targets" reference icymi

Also, it's worth noting that Bob is pissy about not being able to go to the bars dressed in a trenchcoat and black leather gloves, sipping fruity cocktails and scowling at the jocks.
 
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eyy-sport.png

This is who is calling you a mayonnaise ghoul online
 
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Mola Ram said:
Remember, this is the guy who freaked out over alterations to Super Mario's "lore," since it's so deep and important and intelligently developed, doncha know. He probably regards TMNT as on the level of the Mahabharata.
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I will have you know that Mario is from Brooklyn you damn dirty Wasteland Ghoul!
Seriously though why Brooklyn of all places?
Considering how much of a Masshole Bob is you would think Mario would be from his beloved Lyn Bahstan instead.
Wasn't Mario from Brooklyn in that shitty Dennis Hopkins film?
Bob latching on to that because of his crippling autism is the most likely explanation.
 
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Absolutego said:
1. I can totally see Bob as exactly the kind of weirdo who would turn on audio notifications for his twitter, and
2. Every single one of Bob's ideas for adapting his children's cartoons to mainstream media is stuck in the 2000's. Whether it's the Sonic movie that's basically Dances with Wolves, the Care Bear Paradise Lost idea, and this gritty Splinter movie, they all have the super-serious "what if thing in real world?" mindset trying to make everything gritty and real that reeks of insecurity and dominated the Brown Era of nerd culture before Big Bang Theory ruined everything in a different way. I thought we collectively got over that around the time the Avengers made it on screen, but Bob has remained committed to these exceptional ideas throughout.
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Not going to lie, if there's one thing about that era I miss is when "What if thing but REAL LIFE" is when it backfires and makes people notice the original concept works better than previously assumed. Mostly because "realism" boils down to throwing a bunch of padded "armor" on everything, guns, military, dark colors, etc. when even reality is much more...colorful...than whatever they toss up on screen or on a page. You're surrounded by hundreds of documents of actual clowns while reading this.
 
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XtrmGamr719 said:
I could see something based on the CG TMNT show in 2012 where Splinter was actually a human who was an actual ninjutsu master and had a prior relationship to Shredder. Of course Bob is talking about the old stuff because he's stuck in the past.
Click to expand...


I would have thought that Bob's canon version of TMNT would be the 1987 Turtles cartoon where Splinter started out human, although maybe he was a little too young for that and based his Turtle obsession on the live action movies that came out a little later. Those had the official comic origin where Splinter started out as a rat who got his martial arts skills pre-mutation by watching his owner practice. (And yes, it did look stupid in the movie. Leave it to Bob to favor the less logical of the origin stories as his official headcanon.)

Next time you look at the picture of Trenchcoat Bob, imagine this playing on a loop in your mind.

 
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BR55 said:
I will have you know that Mario is from Brooklyn you damn dirty Wasteland Ghoul!
Seriously though why Brooklyn of all places?
Considering how much of a Masshole Bob is you would think Mario would be from his beloved Lyn Bahstan instead.
Wasn't Mario from Brooklyn in that shitty Dennis Hopkins film?
Bob latching on to that because of his crippling autism is the most likely explanation.
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It's in his book. He loved the Brooklyn thing because it means Mario is from the "real world" and Bob could "become" Mario....in theory. So yes, crippling autism.
 
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Pokemonquistador2 said:
I would have thought that Bob's canon version of TMNT would be the 1987 Turtles cartoon where Splinter started out human, although maybe he was a little too young for that and based his Turtle obsession on the live action movies that came out a little later. Those had the official comic origin where Splinter started out as a rat who got his martial arts skills pre-mutation by watching his owner practice. (And yes, it did look stupid in the movie. Leave it to Bob to favor the less logical of the origin stories as his official headcanon.)

Next time you look at the picture of Trenchcoat Bob, imagine this playing on a loop in your mind.

Click to expand...

Nah, he’s almost 40, he was the perfect age for the original cartoon. I think he’s HFA and latched on to Mario instead of Sonic. Brooklyn is Cinema Robert’s blarms. Anyway I just mean he’s like Chris were other media can be altered but his chosen obsession is set in stone.
 
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Chan the Wizard said:
Nah, he’s almost 40, he was the perfect age for the original cartoon. I think he’s HFA and latched on to Mario instead of Sonic. Brooklyn is Cinema Robert’s blarms. Anyway I just mean he’s like Chris were other media can be altered but his chosen obsession is set in stone.
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Bob is about ten years my senior and I remember the 80's cartoon better than any other. There is no way that isn't the one he remembers. If anything I bet he prefers the more unrealistic one because he feels it makes him look "cool".
 
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