DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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You know what Phil could apply for if his legacy goes down the gouter - tard wrangler at an asylum. If he creates a CV, and puts in a link to the DSP fan thread to show the magnitudes of retardation he is dealing with, and also record that he was able to teach such unruly creatures to tip instead of cheer since it goes straight to his Apple account and to tip $1.30 instead of $1.00 so he gets that whole dollar, I think human resources at Renton Sanitarium for the Illogically Minded would be rather impressed!

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SkippyLongbottom said:
My favorite part is Phil starting Nioh 2 up again and has this Fakesyde Positive Phil going on. He dies to the boss the first time "Ah that was totally my fault there."

Slightly rattled and ready to hop back in. Dies and still tries to keep it up the attitude but slightly tilted.

Watching him doing the same heavy stance string on a weapon that has the switch mechanic somewhat like Bloodborne, while trying his most to cheese the boss with slowmo and buffs himself mid battle ever chance he gets.

Dies again and now he goes on full on bitch mode.

Apparently he loves to mash that same combo over and over despite not managing his stamina so he gets full on drained. The boss goes in for a command grab to punish this and Phil here bitches how the boss used it because he knows he was staggered. Like, no shit dude he's a boss not a training dummy.
:story:
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He's also using sloth on any enemy that's not a trash mob...and sometimes on them too. And he still manages to die or nearly die, even to a slothed enemy.

Edit: Just got weakness too. Amazing.
 
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Cistern Rumbler said:
This is great! I just realized I've never really explored his racing TIHYDPs even though his driving is some of the saltiest shit out there. I think I was satiated by the racing missions in his GTA playthroughs.

I know it's the pigroach M.O. to just never take any accountability for failures, but he's also definitely blind as a bat.

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All the "STAHP FISHTAILING" is so funny, all he has to do is ease up on the acceleration and it straightens up. Puzzle racing mechanics dood!
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Driver San Francisco's a really fun/underrated one as the series goes. Recommended even if you're not really into racing games. I remember this playthrough along with Motorstorm Apocalypse back in phil's glory daze cluing me into the fact that his myopia filtered through the hateful truth branded worldview and right into the physical world.

I was playing Driver SF at the same time and compared my experience to his.. it's really not a very demanding game at all and yet he was channeling Mr Magoo all throughout the experience. He drives as though he's in a Tron lightbike in 1982.. his brain can only handle sharp 90° turns. Can't doubleback in games, can't doubleback and fix his career.. simply nothing he could do. Is it any wonder he can't go shopping on his own? If Katherine wasn't driving he'd have wrapped himself around the gated khammunity's security booth a half dozen times already.
 
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Fuckoffdad said:
Driver San Francisco's a really fun/underrated one as the series goes. Recommended even if you're not really into racing games. I remember this playthrough along with Motorstorm Apocalypse back in phil's glory daze cluing me into the fact that his myopia filtered through the hateful truth branded worldview and right into the physical world.

I was playing Driver SF at the same time and compared my experience to his.. it's really not a very demanding game at all and yet he was channeling Mr Magoo all throughout the experience. He drives as though he's in a Tron lightbike in 1982.. his brain can only handle sharp 90° turns. Can't doubleback in games, can't doubleback and fix his career.. simply nothing he could do. Is it any wonder he can't go shopping on his own? If Katherine wasn't driving he'd have wrapped himself around the gated khammunity's security booth a half dozen times already.
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DSP was absolute furious at one point that a race went four minutes ("28 checkpoints"). That was way too long for him.
 
I mean fuck Forza Horizons gives you bread crumb lines to follow and he drives off on a straight and into a tree over and over again.

Also as mentioned before he doesn't know what a headshot or recoil is somehow. Recoil is fucking "jittery lag". Watching him trying to shoot zombies in RE3 as Carlos he will start spraying before the cross hairs are on the zombie, then pass over it's torso, then go out the other side. By that time he has wasted an entire magazine and the zombie is still coming for him. Has he somehow never heard of shooting a zombie in the head either? And a zombie is one of the slowest fucking enemies in video game history, it is begging for you to take your time lining up a burst to the head. Nothing makes sense with this boy.
 
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Those of you who are talking about Phil's driving Let's Plays should also check out his Jak 2 playthrough, I don't have specific timestamps but it's a fucking ordeal for both him and the viewer. Ideal for masochists
 
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100% VIRGIN M00TY said:
I mean fuck Forza Horizons gives you bread crumb lines to follow and he drives off on a straight and into a tree over and over again.

Also as mentioned before he doesn't know what a headshot or recoil is somehow. Recoil is fucking "jittery lag". Watching him trying to shoot zombies in RE3 as Carlos he will start spraying before the cross hairs are on the zombie, then pass over it's torso, then go out the other side. By that time he has wasted an entire magazine and the zombie is still coming for him. Has he somehow never heard of shooting a zombie in the head either? And a zombie is one of the slowest fucking enemies in video game history, it is begging for you to take your time lining up a burst to the head. Nothing makes sense with this boy.
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I've said it before, but DSP has legitimately been playing video games for 11+ years plus anything before he become a big Youtube cahntent creator.

He should be better at games than he is sheerly through bulk experience. He should be instinctively subconsciously better than this.

It's like he actively tries to not learn anything, even subconsciously somehow.
 
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Zappin’ And Spazzin’ said:
Those of you who are talking about Phil's driving Let's Plays should also check out his Jak 2 playthrough, I don't have specific timestamps but it's a fucking ordeal for both him and the viewer. Ideal for masochists
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He's very self-aware of his shit driving now. There's so much footage out there in games like GTA where he just cannot drive for shit, and this is without being distracted by stuff like stream chat. When he (re)played GTA4, he decided to go in the opposite of reckless and decided to drive like he was an old fart.

Makes you wonder how he drives in real life.
 
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TankMelee said:
DSP is playing music for about half an hour (kind of normal) but says he's been on hold for 33 minutes on some call. He says, "not exactly sure when i'm suppose dto call them if early in the morning isn't good enough".
So he calls at basically the same time he starts the stream and, separately, considers 11:15 "early morning." I guess when you wake up at 11 you have to multitask.
UPDATE: the company takes calls during business hours, until 5 PM Eastern, so 2 PM Phil time. "What am I supposed to do, wake up at 5 AM and stay on hold for 2 hours?"
9 AM is good enough. Or call on your day off when you don't have engagements besides driving to stores and ordering out.
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Does he think he's going to try a wacky 'behind the scenes' deal?
 
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Martys_not_smarty said:
God he can't even slam a controller properly he just sorts rattles it on the table fuck put some emotion into it.
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I've never been one to throw controllers but I definitely did it once or twice. I was playing a 360 Halo game or something and I spiked that shit on the (luckily carpeted) living room floor like a football. It hit so hard it bounced.

If you're gonna throw a controller, go big or go home Philliam.
 
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Salubrious said:
I've said it before, but DSP has legitimately been playing video games for 11+ years plus anything before he become a big Youtube cahntent creator.

He should be better at games than he is sheerly through bulk experience. He should be instinctively subconsciously better than this.

It's like he actively tries to not learn anything, even subconsciously somehow.
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Back in the day he boasted about being one of the best overall gamers in the country, that he could pick up a controller and be pretty good at any game "ahn the fly"---fastforward to 2020 and someone asks him what does he think his best quality or talent as a gamer is and he says something like "that I can play any game and try, I might naht be the very best but I won't be the worst either, I'll try my best and do okay."

lmfao he so badly wanted to say something like "MY TALENT IS BEING GOOD AT ANY GAME DOOD!!!" but he tried to be subtle and sly about it that he ended up sounding like an absolute wheelchair. His talent is he tries? Fuck even that's a lie.
 
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Frogga said:
I gotchu
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Judging by how many miles his car has, he doesn't drive.
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5k in business expenses every month but it has been two years since he has upgraded or presumably repaired any of his "business" equipment. Why didn't you tell Nancy that little fact Phil? A 4k tv that apparently helps him see and improves his reaction times, I guess his old age is degrading them quicker than gifted technology can prop them up then. Also more lazy begging streams is hardly an improvement but if it gets those pigs paying dood.

EmpGulcasa said:
Who the fuck is drawing all of his art?
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I sometimes wonder if half of his fan arts are low key detractor efforts to see how awful something has to be before Phil doesn't add it to his slideshow. I assume it is due to his narcissistic personality and not having human emotions or reactions but he doesn't seem to be able to judge art the way a normal person can, could he tell the difference between a childs scribble and Sistine Chapel ceiling art?
 
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100% VIRGIN M00TY said:
I sometimes wonder if half of his fan arts are low key detractor efforts to see how awful something has to be before Phil doesn't add it to his slideshow.
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I've assumed this for a while. That new one that looks like Picasso is legit just him fucking Jasper.
 
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Salubrious said:
DSP was absolute furious at one point that a race went four minutes ("28 checkpoints"). That was way too long for him.
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I would love to see him play Test Drive Unlimited 2 then, if that's what pisses him off. The last race in that game is around the entire island and can take over an hour. Phil has never been good at driving, in game or out of it.
 
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