Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 380 14.3%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 11.9%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 193 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,663
So I just spoke with someone who tries to get in 10K steps a day. She told me that 2500 steps is about a mile for her according to both her phone's pedometer and her FitBit. If Tess only walked a mile, there is no conceivable way it'd take her 7000 steps, even if we assume she has fucking fairy feet (smaller feet mean more steps). I wouldn't be totally surprised if she was moving her pedometer around by hand to account for steps. You can trick the FitBits that way, just move your hand back and forth while sitting down.

This is a step chart from the person I spoke to from yesterday. Note the steps compared to how far they walked, 4.3 miles.
1586712518003.png


It's possible that Tess actually walked that much, but if so, that'd be closer to 3 miles, so why wouldn't she brag about that and instead downplay it? I'm guessing she has never walked a mile and has no idea how many steps it'd take someone of her size but is trying to pretend. That, or she just shuffles her feet the whole way, which is probably quite possible. So she's either lying or lazy. Or both.
 
So I just spoke with someone who tries to get in 10K steps a day. She told me that 2500 steps is about a mile for her according to both her phone's pedometer and her FitBit. If Tess only walked a mile, there is no conceivable way it'd take her 7000 steps, even if we assume she has fucking fairy feet (smaller feet mean more steps). I wouldn't be totally surprised if she was moving her pedometer around by hand to account for steps. You can trick the FitBits that way, just move your hand back and forth while sitting down.

This is a step chart from the person I spoke to from yesterday. Note the steps compared to how far they walked, 4.3 miles.
View attachment 1226414

It's possible that Tess actually walked that much, but if so, that'd be closer to 3 miles, so why wouldn't she brag about that and instead downplay it? I'm guessing she has never walked a mile and has no idea how many steps it'd take someone of her size but is trying to pretend. That, or she just shuffles her feet the whole way, which is probably quite possible. So she's either lying or lazy. Or both.

I shoot for at least 10K steps a day as well, and I pulled up my FitBit data just to see if it was at all possible to reach a mile in 7,000 steps. There is just no way this is accurate, Tess is pulling that number out of her gigantic ass.

For me, I've been hitting 10K to 15K a day for well over a year, so I have a lot of data to look at. It takes on average about 2,100 to 2,500ish to walk a mile, and the only time it's been on the higher end is when I'm not trying to walk (as in, I'm just walking around the house doing chores without worrying about how many steps I'm taking).

I looked back on my data, and on my worst day, I reached a mile at 2,770 steps. There is just no way for a person to take 7,000 steps and only reach 1 mile.

I have let my 6 year old nephew wear my FitBit before, and even with his much smaller strides and steps, he hit 1 mile well before 7,000 steps. Tess isn't smaller than a 6 year old. Even if she stood in place, this number doesn't make sense. I garauntee you if I stood in place right now and took the smallest steps known to man, I would still reach a mile before 3,000 steps.

(Hell, giving how fucking crazy I'm going during this lock down, I might just do this...)

Tess isn't walking at all. If she was really hitting 7,000 steps and clearing 2-3 miles, she'd be bragging. But we all know that she can barely walk a few steps without getting seriously winded, let alone walk a mile. This number is a complete fabrication. And just a FYI, driving wouldn't give her this false number either, FitBit can tell when you're driving and it does not count those "steps".

This kind of lie is something that should get Tess called out. Tess is lucky her followers tend to be just as unhealthy and lazy as she is, so they have no concept of how few steps are needed to reach a mile.
 
View attachment 1225109View attachment 1225110
Tess, you’re about as gay as Liberace was straight. Also, those fillers look worse by the day.
I’d expect some irritating 14 year old to post this. Tess is seriously an blackhole devoid of any personality. Fake gay is now her new identity, it’s pretty hilarious.

A mile a day? Lol. It’s nice to see Tess sticks to the same playbook on IG that all the fatties on MSHPL use on Dr Now. These 500 lb flesh slugs always eat healthy and get plenty of exercise. It’s like watching someone who is obscenely drunk, stumbling and slurring their words talk about how serious they are about their sobriety and how glad they are that they haven’t had a drink in months.

The death fats never seem to get that nobody believes their bullshit and are just laughing at their tall tales of healthy living and eating.
 
Hey, I don't know what app Tess is using to count her steps, so someone please fill me in.

Is it typical for there to be breaks in the graphics around the bar graph?

Screen Shot 2020-04-12 at 16.09.54.png


Because it doesn't break around any of the shorter bars. I'm simply curious. As stated, not familiar with this particular app - for all I know, this could be typical.

But as I can't trust anything that comes from Tess that involves pixels, I'm skeptical.
 
Hey, I don't know what app Tess is using to count her steps, so someone please fill me in.

Is it typical for there to be breaks in the graphics around the bar graph?

View attachment 1226583

Because it doesn't break around any of the shorter bars. I'm simply curious. As stated, not familiar with this particular app - for all I know, this could be typical.

But as I can't trust anything that comes from Tess that involves pixels, I'm skeptical.
Oh man, that is weird, and I am more inclined to believe it is a shoop since it has that little screw up. Of course you have to see bars consistently crossing the line to be sure, and her other bars are too shortly. Good catch!
 
I shoot for at least 10K steps a day as well, and I pulled up my FitBit data just to see if it was at all possible to reach a mile in 7,000 steps. There is just no way this is accurate, Tess is pulling that number out of her gigantic ass.

For me, I've been hitting 10K to 15K a day for well over a year, so I have a lot of data to look at. It takes on average about 2,100 to 2,500ish to walk a mile, and the only time it's been on the higher end is when I'm not trying to walk (as in, I'm just walking around the house doing chores without worrying about how many steps I'm taking).

I looked back on my data, and on my worst day, I reached a mile at 2,770 steps. There is just no way for a person to take 7,000 steps and only reach 1 mile.

I have let my 6 year old nephew wear my FitBit before, and even with his much smaller strides and steps, he hit 1 mile well before 7,000 steps. Tess isn't smaller than a 6 year old. Even if she stood in place, this number doesn't make sense. I garauntee you if I stood in place right now and took the smallest steps known to man, I would still reach a mile before 3,000 steps.

(Hell, giving how fucking crazy I'm going during this lock down, I might just do this...)

Tess isn't walking at all. If she was really hitting 7,000 steps and clearing 2-3 miles, she'd be bragging. But we all know that she can barely walk a few steps without getting seriously winded, let alone walk a mile. This number is a complete fabrication. And just a FYI, driving wouldn't give her this false number either, FitBit can tell when you're driving and it does not count those "steps".

This kind of lie is something that should get Tess called out. Tess is lucky her followers tend to be just as unhealthy and lazy as she is, so they have no concept of how few steps are needed to reach a mile.
Yeah, I had a feeling even shuffling your feet wouldn't get you there that slowly. My theory is that she's never walked a mile and did no research into how many steps that is and just guessed. Like I said, it's not overly difficult to trick a pedometer. I know for sure with FitBits you can just pump your arm a bit. If she's using a phone app, she could just walk around the house or even have Bowie walk around. Hell, maybe she fabricated the numbers, if what @Diet Coke 4 Life posted has anything to it.
 
I'll also say that using pixels to generate a graduated scale, the bar graphs actually show she did 8,043 steps, but now I'm just nitpicking. :)

Edit: Slop could be induced by where on the bar graph you choose to call its top. It's quite granulated at the top, so I was going by the top of the graph where it was obvious that it shifted from white to orange.The program could be counting from the top of the solid bar and dismissing the graphical goo at the top. Dunno, dun care.
 
Hey, I don't know what app Tess is using to count her steps, so someone please fill me in.

Is it typical for there to be breaks in the graphics around the bar graph?

View attachment 1226583

Because it doesn't break around any of the shorter bars. I'm simply curious. As stated, not familiar with this particular app - for all I know, this could be typical.

But as I can't trust anything that comes from Tess that involves pixels, I'm skeptical.
She’s just using Apple Health and no those lines should not be missing between the bars. Depending on the calendar (daily steps, monthly, etc) there could be a tiny gap immediately beside the bar, but there’s still a line between those gaps:
DDB69A5E-4D39-4387-A83C-701E9D1BFD70.jpeg
Its also a super blurry screenshot which indicates she very likely photoshopped it. Great catch!
 
I remember the now-long-ago incident in which somebody (was it here, or on fph?) saw Tess and Nick hiking up the relatively easy trail to the Hollywood sign, without realizing it was Tess until after the fact, when Tess posted pics on her Insta and they got posted to...wherever the fuck I first saw them.

Tess stood out because of her enormous obesity, but also because she was obviously not having a good time--that trail, which lots of kids and grands and out-of-shape tourists manage to climb, was pretty much the fucking death of her, and she was complaining loudly to Nick. The person who saw them passed them on the way up the trail, arrived at the top, enjoyed the view, and passed them again as Tess continued her slow struggle upward.

And of course Tess's Insta photos all made it look like the kind of amazing outing one gets to enjoy when they live such an awesome life in LA, and gave the impression that while it was a serious hike (LOL, it's not), Tess was totally capable of it and not hindered by her fatness in any way.

Tess is a lot fatter now than she was back then, and no fitter. And she's never been back to the Hollywood sign, afaik.

Even if she's walking on totally flat ground, she's not covering 2-3 miles at a shot. She could maybe do a mile, if she has chances to stop, sit, and rest along the way, but without somebody like Nick goading her to the top with the promise of an Insta-worthy photo shoot to shore up her image, there's just no way she could go further without lots and lots of rest breaks.

Every deathfatty I've ever encountered genuinely struggles with walking any distance at all, between their inability to catch their breath; the pain in their feet, legs, and backs; and, even if they're wearing appropriate clothes, the heat and chafing as their massive thighs rub together. Walking is incredibly painful, unpleasant, and exhausting, even for people who weigh 100 lbs or more less than Tess does.

I can remember a couple of long-ago female co-workers who were smaller than Tess, and younger than she is now, and neither was capable of walking two blocks to the nearest cluster of fast food outlets for lunch and back without being left fit to die from the exertion; you could tell they were back by their gasps and groans as they pushed through the front door and waddled to the break room, and the noises they made while eating because neither could stop eating long enough to breathe? Yeah. When one of them finally got a car, they drove the two blocks, used the drive-thrus, and were so happy because they didn't have to "hike" down the road every day, or waddle across a busy, four-lane boulevard before the light changed.

And you cannot tell me Tess is fitter than those two heifers, or more disciplined, or more stoic. Hell, no. What she is, however, is desperate for content she can post to her Instagram, in lieu of the few modeling gigs and chances to travel she might have enjoyed, had Covid-19 not fucked up her plans. She can't go out to get her hair or nails or makeup done under lockdown; no bars or restaurants are open; she can't go pose at the Madonna Inn or poolside at some Palm Springs hotel. She has no creativity; she's not funny; she has no domestic skills she can turn into appealing content; underneath her image, she's just a big, vapid nothing.

Baking cute cookies and treats would appeal to her audience far more than this phony workout shit, but Tess is incapable of doing that, and besides, Flabletics seems to be the only clothing manufacturer still partnering with her at this point, so she's working overtime to keep them doing so.

And hey, maybe she is trying to lose weight (without admitting to it) so she can get back into Eloquii, and not make Pretty Little Thot's clothes look so horrid. She's eaten her way out of so many former sponsorship deals, and maybe it's finally dawned on her what an utterly disastrous idea that was. And it would totally be like her to keep trumpeting all the BoPo/Eff Your Beauty Standards shit to her audience while pretending that she's not trying to something so horrible as lose weight.
 
Because of all this doubt over her 7000+ step mile got me curious so excuse the lil pl.
I looked at my own step counter on my phone. I live roughly 1 mile away from the stores and it was a warm sunny day so I took a slow leisurely stroll whilst walking there and back. And yes it took almost 2 fucking hours in total because the covid queues.
Screenshot_20200413_021013.jpgScreenshot_20200413_021034.jpg
Anyway point is there's no way this beast is walking 1 mile in 7000+ steps and i doubt she can even walk roughly 3-4 miles that 7000+ steps would cover.
TLDR Tess is a fat liar.
 
I remember the now-long-ago incident in which somebody (was it here, or on fph?) saw Tess and Nick hiking up the relatively easy trail to the Hollywood sign, without realizing it was Tess until after the fact, when Tess posted pics on her Insta and they got posted to...wherever the fuck I first saw them.
It was told by a redditor on r/fatlogic, it's somewhere way back in this thread, too. It's hilarious; he passed her up TWICE, and both times said he noticed her because she was complaining a blue streak the entire way. The first time he passed her in a family group with children; the second time he ran back up because one of the kids forgot their iPad at the top. It's like a mile and a half in and out, and it took her HOURS. She bragged about "hiking to the Hollywood sign in ONE DAY" like people typically set up staged overnight camps to reach the summit of a 3/4 mile trail.
 
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