Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Jetpack Himmler]

Community college, for a "new media" degree. Even more useless than a BA in English. Don't know if he graduated though.

If Bob pursued a BA in English he probably would have had a slightly better chance of becoming a respectable critic and would not be as shitty a writer as he is now. But who needs to read The Wasteland or Ulysses when there is the next Black Panther or The Last Jedi to consoom?

As a holder of a BA in English with a minor in history (a subject Blob knows nothing about), I never took offense to anyone to calling it useless. I pursued it because of my interest in storytelling. Bob's big problem along with many of the current-gen screenwriters and critics is that they have been taught to fetishize deconstruction as a storytelling method that makes any work thoughtful and deep. No, dipshit. Any idiot can disassemble an engine with the right tools, but it takes a mechanic to reassemble it. Fiction is no different in that a true creative identifies the various pieces that make a story work and assemble them. George Lucas had read Joseph Campbell's The Hero With a Thousand Faces, took inspiration from sci-fi serials like Flash Gordon and samurai films, and sought input from friends and family to create a true cultural phenomenon.

...and Rian Johnson? "Oh, hurr, hurr! I'm going to subvert all expectations because I'm so smart."

No, Rian Johnson basically did what a monkey with a typewriter could do and Bob's a uneducated moron for not recognizing this.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

If Bob pursued a BA in English he probably would have had a slightly better chance of becoming a respectable critic and would not be as shitty a writer as he is now. But who needs to read The Wasteland or Ulysses when there is the next Black Panther or The Last Jedi to consoom?

As a holder of a BA in English with a minor in history (a subject Blob knows nothing about), I never took offense to anyone to calling it useless. I pursued it because of my interest in storytelling. Bob's big problem along with many of the current-gen screenwriters and critics is that they have been taught to fetishize deconstruction as a storytelling method that makes any work thoughtful and deep. No, dipshit. Any idiot can disassemble an engine with the right tools, but it takes a mechanic to reassemble it. Fiction is no different in that a true creative identifies the various pieces that make a story work and assemble them. George Lucas had read Joseph Campbell's The Hero With a Thousand Faces, took inspiration from sci-fi serials like Flash Gordon and samurai films, and sought input from friends and family to create a true cultural phenomenon.

...and Rian Johnson? "Oh, hurr, hurr! I'm going to subvert all expectations because I'm so smart."

No, Rian Johnson basically did what a monkey with a typewriter could do and Bob's a uneducated moron for not recognizing this.

I'm also a holder of a BA in English with a minor in philosophy and as someone who has spend countless times writing argumentative essays, I can agree that Bob also lacks the critical and necessary analysis that any writer or reader should have. The problem is that Bob and morons like him either not understand the point or go beyond what the writer is trying to do.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

"The main character is Jesus" and "the world is actually purgatory" is some basic bitch, surface-level pretentious entry-level analysis shit on the same level as "the curtains are blue because the author was sad."

 

[Mola Ram]

"The main character is Jesus" and "the world is actually purgatory" is some basic bitch, surface-level pretentious entry-level analysis shit on the same level as "the curtains are blue because the author was sad."

My favorite was The Green Mile, with the innocent man about to be executed having not just the power of healing but the initials "JC."

To Stephen King, Jesus was black and re-tarded.

 

[Flexo]

"The main character is Jesus" and "the world is actually purgatory" is some basic bitch, surface-level pretentious entry-level analysis shit on the same level as "the curtains are blue because the author was sad."

you know it's bad where there's a trope for that.

Everyone Is Jesus in Purgatory - TV Tropes

Memories of that overzealous English teacher, who forced you to accept that every character, every scene and every action had a deep inner meaning have led to widespread fear on the part of readers and viewers everywhere that every tale secretly …

tvtropes.org

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Bob's big problem along with many of the current-gen screenwriters and critics is that they have been taught to fetishize deconstruction as a storytelling method that makes any work thoughtful and deep. No, dipshit. Any idiot can disassemble an engine with the right tools, but it takes a mechanic to reassemble it. Fiction is no different in that a true creative identifies the various pieces that make a story work and assemble them. George Lucas had read Joseph Campbell's The Hero With a Thousand Faces, took inspiration from sci-fi serials like Flash Gordon and samurai films, and sought input from friends and family to create a true cultural phenomenon.

One example of someone who did both, and did them well, would be Alan Moore. He was able to deconstruct the superhero genre with Watchmen, and unfortunately caused a bunch of copycat writers who aren't fit to lick his boots to try the same thing. What the copycats ignore is that Moore reconstructed the genre with Tom Strong, an ode to the old Golden and Silver Age comics while retaining more modern trappings. Of course, if Bob thinks about Watchmen at all, he's probably thinking about the woke version HBO created.

 

[Adamska]

It's telling that Bobby is already going to 1st year college kid at film or philosophy 101 with his painfully brain damaged and smoothbrained take on Forrest Gump being a christ figure. That's something that you should rapidly ween yourself off of, because it's what everyone who wants to sound smart tries to go for since the Bible is one of the things they might have actually read or at least heard about.

If he actually knew anything about history besides zingers and what he googles to pretend he isn't a mentally challenged coddled asshole, he could easily pull from it and rip it apart. I fully confess that I'm not a spontaneous creator; I'm a man who can only create when inspired by something else. Bobby can't even be that given he just does the lowest effort idea: "X but it's in Y".

It's telling he never made or showed his dwindling audience his student films or has tried to do anything new besides Game Overeater and 2008 tier review production budgets that Enraged Pablo defeats halfassedly.

 

[Mola Ram]

t's what everyone who wants to sound smart tries to go for since the Bible is one of the things they might have actually read or at least heard about.

If Bob wanted to go for Christ allegories, he could have done a fuck of a lot better than talked about Forrest sorta kinda walking on water during the shrimp boat scenes ... like, oh, I dunno, the story where Jesus actually calmed a storm on the Sea of Galilee.



But of course Bob isn't actually familiar enough with the Bible or any theological texts because he considers such "superstition" beneath him, and ironically winds up looking even stupider.

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

What the copycats ignore is that Moore reconstructed the genre with Tom Strong, an ode to the old Golden and Silver Age comics while retaining more modern trappings.

Going farther back then that, Moore reconstructed the genre with 1963 (a pastiche of Silver Age Marvel) and Supreme, which was a Liefeld copy of Superman that Moore repurposed into meta commentary on the many retcons the Man of Steel went through as well as industry trends over the decades. He even showed a little self-deprecation by including a character named Billy Friday, who was a "take that" to deconstructionist writers.

 

[MeltyTW]

One example of someone who did both, and did them well, would be Alan Moore. He was able to deconstruct the superhero genre with Watchmen, and unfortunately caused a bunch of copycat writers who aren't fit to lick his boots to try the same thing. What the copycats ignore is that Moore reconstructed the genre with Tom Strong, an ode to the old Golden and Silver Age comics while retaining more modern trappings. Of course, if Bob thinks about Watchmen at all, he's probably thinking about the woke version HBO created.

Watchmen is such a great story to be abused by these fuckwits, it's telling that they get off on thumbing their noses to people who miss the point of Rorschach and think of him as unambiguously good but at the same time they don't realize complexity is more than that just because the character has politics they don't like. They ignore that he more closely follows some of the ideas of superheroics far more than many of the other characters. But hey complexity is just Republicans are Nazis now. Bob and his ilk are the death of storytelling and critical thinking.

If Bob wanted to go for Christ allegories, he could have done a fuck of a lot better than talked about Forrest sorta kinda walking on water during the shrimp boat scenes ... like, oh, I dunno, the story where Jesus actually calmed a storm on the Sea of Galilee.

View attachment 1257620

But of course Bob isn't actually familiar enough with the Bible or any theological texts because he considers such "superstition" beneath him, and ironically winds up looking even stupider.

The bible doesn't have enough bow wielding lesbians and the important takeaways are often moral and philosophical rather than just a cyclops getting his head bashed in, not very googleable, too much work for our dear Bobert

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

This is all you need to know about why the Forrest Gump movie exists:

Robert probably hates the film because it shows a bitter, cynical, atheist character (Lieutenant Dan) coming to terms with God and abandoning his cynicism. He even becomes successful and gets his own Asian Waifu. And like Bob, he doesn't have any feet, so it reminds Bob that he really has no excuse as to why he can't go ahead and do the same thing.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

This is all you need to know about why the Forrest Gump movie exists:


View attachment 1257642

Robert probably hates the film because it shows a bitter, cynical, atheist character (Lieutenant Dan) coming to terms with God and abandoning his cynicism. He even becomes successful and gets his own Asian Waifu. And like Bob, he doesn't have any feet, so it reminds Bob that he really has no excuse as to why he can't go ahead and do the same thing.

Forrest Gump also got laid and had a kid, something Bob doesn’t have done ever.

 

[Adamska]

He's also probably mad that Forrest, who is a mildly disabled southern ghoul, is able to live a happy and successful life and get his crush to live with him for a bit too. Oh, and he probably is mad Forrest is kinda like him in the brains department, as much as he tries to deny his brain disability.

 

[Wulfpack Legend]

A little bit about Forest Gump:

Classic Opie & Anthony: Bashing "Forrest Gump" (09/07-11/05/12)

Requested by Mrmys1900. Jimmy has some things to say about "Forrest Gump" as well as some great impressions. ----- To listen to The Opie & Anthony Show live,...

www.youtube.com

 

[lolwatagain]

https://twitter.com/mongolianch0p/status/1254263232300298240

http://archive.is/JkIgp

 

[Karl der Grosse]

Forrest Gump gets to live above ground and enjoy sunlight. Bob isn't at that level and likely will never be.

 

[Neko GF]

Robert talks about the political parties of the superior future™:

Spoiler: One-party state

https://twitter.com/BobChipman_1981/status/1254903568282398721 (Archive)

In short, Robert believes that the Dems will split into to 2 factions that are for the most part, both Liberal. Which might as well be a one-party state.

Also, Robert on key domestic issues:

Spoiler: Hillary Sama

https://twitter.com/BobChipman_1981/status/1254909514278731778 (Archive)

"Hillary-sama would kill everyone I don't like!!".

 

[BR55]

I'm getting a little burnt out on the Bob formula at this point. He says something extremely ignorant and cuntish on Twitter, simps defend him and normal people insult him, he either clams up or makes a single snarky to some rando and slithers away. It used to be funny and enjoyable as much as it was frustrating and obnoxious, but for me the "funny and enjoyable" part is slipping away.

I'd like to see the monotony broken up by, say, one of his beloved "coastal elite" neoliberals/democrats telling him off and him sulking in self-pity, or showing off a new disgusting dinner or depressing merch haul and people mocking him.

You'll get a prime tweetstorm in November at least.
I wonder if he'll repurpose his "Superior Global Future we threw away" bit from 2016 or if he'll make up some new brand of utopian dystopian insanity that Biden would totally have lead us to if not for the Wasteland Ghouls?

 

[Chilson]

Robert talks about the political parties of the superior future™:

Spoiler: One-party state

View attachment 1258039
View attachment 1258048
https://twitter.com/BobChipman_1981/status/1254903568282398721 (Archive)

In short, Robert believes that the Dems will split into to 2 factions that are for the most part, both Liberal. Which might as well be a one-party state.

Also, Robert on key domestic issues:

Spoiler: Hillary Sama

View attachment 1258087
https://twitter.com/BobChipman_1981/status/1254909514278731778 (Archive)

"Hillary-sama would kill everyone I don't like!!".

Bob you fat idiot. Polls have been proven false time and time again (remember Hilary-sama's glorious "victory"?), the GOP has been around for 170 years and is not going anywhere, and every prediction he has ever had has been grossly illogical and never came to pass.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

Also, Robert on key domestic issues:

Spoiler: Hillary Sama

View attachment 1258087
https://twitter.com/BobChipman_1981/status/1254909514278731778 (Archive)

"Hillary-sama would kill everyone I don't like!!".

These retards think that stuff like the Brenton Tarrant shooting (who's not even American and didn't do his shooting in America) happened because Republicans have been catering to white supremacists. What a take. It's not like Tarrant said that he was specifically motivated by an Islamic attack or like he spent a fair bit of his manifesto complaining about how conservatives and Trump aren't catering to people like him, which is why he thought violence was necessary. His motivation isn't a mystery. He spelled it out very clearly, and the idea that Qween Hillary getting elected would have somehow stopped him is batshit insane.

And the Oklahoma City Bombing was retaliation for the exact sort of thing that Robert is calling for, even if the Clinton administration didn't give it an official "War on ___" name. You look at what happened at Waco and Ruby Ridge and it's very obvious that the feds repeatedly escalated things needlessly because they were on a crusade, which lead to a lot of unarmed women and children getting gassed, gunned down, and burned alive. Randy Weaver had already served his time and didn't even have a warrant on him. As for Waco, there's an award winning documentary and a recent Netflix series that uses both official documents and the testimony of survivors on the lies in the official story about that. And Robert is drooling over the idea of more of that. He doesn't view those events as tragedies, but something to strive for. But that could already have been guessed from all his other rants.

Definitely one of the more disgusting and blatant examples of him calling for peoples' deaths recently. And all the more disturbing because it would lead to more violence and death on both sides. He's basically calling for left wing accelerationism via a campaign of state violence against political targets.