The Last of Us Franchise - Because it's apparently a franchise now. This thread has been double-DMCA’d by Sony Interactive Entertainment.

[Ponderous Pillock]

i'm glad someone finally put david mitchell in a game

It doesn't involve a digital rendition of his glove museum though.

 

[Kurtis Trent]

"Naughty Dog are so brave and honest for tackling LGBT themes and subverting expectations."

"Toxic masculinity is the true enemy in The Last of Us 2: How women being abusive and violent is all a man't fault."

 

[ZehnBoat]

It doesn't involve a digital rendition of his glove museum though.

do you do poison?
this is a gym in the middle of a post-apocalyptic world
silly question.. how much estrogen can i inject into someone before they die?

 

[Icasaracht]

I can't wait to see the mental gymnastics of the mantream reviewers that will give this train wreak high scores.

"'How much of a bigot are you?' At IGN we ponder on this question day and night, grieving over the unblemished masses and their penchant for purchasing the misogynistic and the macabre. Until now! The Last of Us Two: Part II, is too good for a two minute review. So, tune in to hear, point by point, how a brain twice your size tells you why you must purchase this second coming of Christ!

• TLoU 2: Part 2 has an AI that chooses to not see you in plain sight. Too complex for 2-bit simians like you to understand, so it's challenging. 10/10.
• The graphics are great. We had greater difficulty discerning genders than we did in 1986's Metroid. So it's progressive. Also you club the patriarchy (that killed mankind's future) to death. 10/10.
• The story is complex. You ask yourself the question: 'Do I want to kill because I like it? Or because I feel like it?' 10/10.
• Subversion! Just like Naughty Dog subverted our expectations by giving us a doubly generous donation for this review, your expectations will be subverted, too. 10/10.
• Not too much water. 10/10.

What are you waiting for, you simian? Buy it! BUY IT NOOOOW!"

 

[Adamska]

There's a series of (originally) 1980s postapocalyptic shlock called "Deathlands", written by a series of authors under the pseudonym James Axler. They've somehow kept it going into 2010s at least, with well over a hundred written. The books are all over the place quality-wise, but most of them still probably better writing than Drunkmann's shit.

Their typical formula btw is what you've described: finding and finally overthrowing some creatively psychotic warlord. And I actually find it rather strange that somebody hasn't tried to turn the series into a computer game yet.

Holy shit thank you for giving me this info. This sounds nice and schlocky.

 

[ZMOT]

.

I thought I'd never see someone producing worse cringe than bioware.

 

[4STA]

I'd still like some clarification. Is Ellie dying in TLOU2 confirmed or speculation? I've seen the gif of Abby shooting her in the chest but that isn't definitive proof that she dies.

Ellie sustained massive damage both internal and external, had her bones broken and face smashed in. There are no doctors or modern medical equipment available to her.
So she is completely fine. Now, that sounds like sarcasm, but it isn't, at least in Cuckmann's mind. Because the final scene with her is her being completely fine, no scars even, face looks same as before, and her swearing to go kill Abby in TLOU-3, and muh cycle of revenge. And I'm pretty sure there are not even any connecting scenes, they just *cut to black* *she's fine now. *

At first I of course thought that part of the leaks was pre-Ellie and the Lesbo gf whose name I can't be bothered to remember getting brutalized by Abby. But, you can see one scar, where the arrow landed on the Lesbo gf's back, no other marks despite her having her face smashed into sharp edges by a gorilla. So according to Cuckmann, this is after. It is absurd, to put it mildly. Also the name on that part is chronologically after in the chapter list.

So Ellie will (some-fucking-how) survive to a TLOU-3, which will hopefully never ever get made to be "the villain."

 

[Janny Jewsh]

anybody got links to the all the leaked vids with sound?

 

[samuraicrack]

So does anyone actually believe this shit about the leak being caused by a hacker or whatever?

 

[Fougaro]

View attachment 1270333

TrUe AnD hOnEsT gOrL

Maybe the plot twist will be that Abby is the last Denisovan?

Remember when Laura Bailey voiced game characters like Bloodrayne, a hot a chick that officially showed her boobs in Playboy?

I remember when she voiced Lucina aka the female boss in Saints Row 3 and 4.

 

[Marissa Moira]

So does anyone actually believe this shit about the leak being caused by a hacker or whatever?

They still don't know who did it.

This is like the zodiac killer of video games.

 

[Safir]

sorry, but your actual point is...? a person isn't a country. yes, there will be artists in somalia, but they won't live in mudhuts, nor will they sell their art to people living in mudhuts.

I'm talking about the Maslow hierarchy, which says nothing about selling art.

I suggest you familiarize yourself with the tiny obscure midcentury scuffle usually called "World War II". Obviously no one was doing monumental sculpture or oil painting in the trenches, but they did write stories, poems, songs, letters home, diaries and accounts of military life of no military value to be printed in bulletins, as well as made material trench art. (And of course they consumed professional art, which would be unavailable during the apocalypse, but that would only heighten the demand for amateur art.)

The life of a soldier in World War II is worse than the life of a survivor in the aftermath of the TLoU apocalypse. In the apocalypse, the worst thing was the collapse of civilization which kills almost everyone really fast. People don't know the first thing about procuring food or shelter, maintaining weapons, and killing zombies. (Zombies are actually better than no zombies because they kill people before their supplies run out. "Almost everyone is killed, civilization falls, now what" is a better scenario than "civilization falls, almost everyone starves, now what" because the latter leaves more for survivors to work with.) After the fall, survival is only going to get easier for a time (before hardware runs out) for those capable and/or lucky enough to have adjusted.

and no, you won't ponder rhyming patterns for some epic lyrics freezing to death in a ditch not having eaten anything for a week, self-actualization means fuck all when your basic instinct for self-preservation kicks in.

No one is freezing to death in a ditch for 5 years. As time has evidently passed and the chick has grown up, things must have fallen into a stable pattern. They've adjusted to the new life, it's the new normal, the heyday of the post-apoc. The population density is roughly the same as it was during TLoU1. They've learned to hunt and farm and there's still plenty of farm (and other) equipment to use. And they also have a lot of free time watching corn grow to have all the rainbow parties they want.
(Historically, hunting and gathering left way more free time to hunters and gatherers than agriculture left field workers, but that's only because the overclass of agricultural civilizations exploited them.)

and good luck running around screeching at people about gender pronouns.

I would't even discount gender pronouns except for the utter inability of genderspecials to engage in productive labor. Tiny communities can come up with all sorts of weird rules. Medieval titles might not be out of the question and would go well with sumptuary laws.

Spoiler

How can we not take up the steel
For to serve our people's need?
How can we leave our land to fall
To any bandit's greed?
We have the skill to save our folk
From whatever evil thrives:
And - admit the truth - this is the chance
We've hoped for all our lives!

("freedom" or any other principle doesn't keep you fed, guess every battered housewife stays with her abusive husband because she likes it so much).

Some stay when they could go to a shelter or parents' home because they're "ashamed", some run away to cots in flea-infested flophouses and do illegal hard labor. Which is exactly my point: Maslow's so-called hierarchy doesn't predict shit.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Welp, the lamestream media was going on about how ND games are set apart from others because of attention to detail like how if you shoot a bag of grain it deflates, so they'll fap themselves over any and every graphical gimmick, "subverted expectations," "important and relevant themes," and "inclusivity and representation."

I could write the reviews and I don't even own a Playstation.

 

[Icasaracht]

Okay everyone! Time for another stupid pun book.

• Joel chose to save a child. It had Abby-smal consequences.
• What does a duck and Duckmann have in common? They're both quacks.
• Joel googled "how do you age well?" User 'Abby' replied: "Keep yourself open-minded!"
• Why are all video game women becoming flat-chested? Because they ran out of Silicon down that Valley.

Okay, that's it for now. Whistles.

 

[Judge Dredd]

So does anyone actually believe this shit about the leak being caused by a hacker or whatever?

No. But the games press and Sony fanboys repeat it as truth even though they know it's bullshit.

 

[ZehnBoat]

They still don't know who did it.

This is like the zodiac killer of video games.

are you saying ted cruz was the leaker?

 

[werbwub]

Got copyright struck by Naughty Dog. Decided to show you what it looked like.

 

[MarineN*423543]

Everything about Sarkeesian makes me literally feel physically ill.

She is pure, concentrated AIDS.

imagine being Amy Henning, best writer ever, being fired for a simp and his parasite master

 

[Zvantastika]

Oh Sony, you.

I just wonder, how would this game looks like if it was made by Nintendo and some years ago. One can only imagine.

(I was going to edit Bald Bull moustache and chops, but on second thought, it suits Abby just fine)

 

[Leon Breitling]

Every time I see footage of Abby I feel like the design is the result of playing with all the sliders indiscriminately in a WWE create-a-wrestler. Head too small, no tits, arms larger than her head...