- Joined
- Aug 9, 2016
Ah, yes. YouTube and Facebook. The only websites you can use to gather information.
Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
- Thread starter Gentlebastard
- Start date
Ah, yes. YouTube and Facebook. The only websites you can use to gather information.
- Joined
- May 30, 2019
Hey everybody it's Jack Scalfani and we're ssstrokin' out!
Aaway
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2016
i just noticed if you google "ja/ck/" the first result is a link to the cooking with jack show
looks absolutely vile
looks absolutely vile
JackDavis
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2017
This is what the soup is supposed to look like.
What the fuck is this? You can eat Jack's "soup" with a fork.
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2019
Not even reviewbrah has stooped so low as to review the fucking Olive Garden.
Comma
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2018
[ARCHIVE][480p] Olive Garden's Zuppa Tuscana Soup RIPOFF RECIPE (Cooking With Jack Show - May 8, 2020)
What can I say? The man likes his chicken wet and bloody, and his soup solid and lumpy.
Perfectly normal.
What can I say? The man likes his chicken wet and bloody, and his soup solid and lumpy.
Perfectly normal.
- Joined
- May 30, 2019
Naturally Jack would make a soup that hardly has any soup in it. Reminds me of his "salads" that contain none of the core components of a salad.
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2014
I see he's up to his old preview image tricks again.
.
.
JackDavis
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2017
He figures if it's a big corp or brand, he can use the image. I guess at least he's stopped stealing pics from small blogs.
Dave Meltzer
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2016
This is up there for worst dish he's ever done. Did the recipe call for 3 or 4 potatoes and he mistook that for 3 or 4 pounds of potatoes? My stomach turned when he was cooking the onions and he said the onions will absorb all that breakfast sausage fat.
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
What is with Fat Jack and criminally under hydrating soups and mushifying the food into the components of nutraloaf? He's done this with Moqueca (Fish stew), he's done it with Taco soups, and he's done it here. Why the fuck does he do this with soups and then make his chilis soups?
I'm actually a bit tilted because he can't fucking stop doing this.
JackDavis
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2017
My guess is he's a fat fuck that wants meat meat and more meat. Liquids will only slow him down in his pursuit of meat.
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2020
How does the bacon look raw? How did he manage that feat?
You aren't going to get every little bit.
No Jack most cooks would have done the bacon in a different pan or cleaned the pan so that the bacon cooked in its own grease and maintained its flavor.
Same with the onions. You want to add the flavor of the onions to things not drown their flavor in grease.
I guarantee that soup tastes like used grease which is apparently of great appeal to Jack.
When I look at this and realize how much energy went into producing the individual ingredients only to be turned into copious amounts of crud that will likely rot in his refrigerator it is sickening.
Soup is supposed to be hot and inviting not gross and mushy(No offense Campbell's you are just giving America what it thinks it wants). It is supposed to have a broth that hints at the flavors within while giving them each time to hit your palette. What Jack created is cream covered meat salad with partially mashed potatoes and apparently raw bacon.
Aaway
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2016
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2020
Look it is not as though Jack has some kind of preexisting conditions that might put him at higher risk of death from WuFlu...
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2020
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
Okay, fully watched the video. Let's shred this travesty apart:
1. Fat Jack is now using fake consensus methods to pretend that he still listens to people; he uses "people have been telling me" a lot this intro.
2. Jack references the video where he and Tammy try and fail to use a simple ordering app as the place where "alottapeepul" told him to do a rip-off recipe.
2b. In reality this fat faggot knew Babish was making an italian dish the day he uploaded this and wanted to use the algorithm to hopefully get people to watch and negrate his shitty video.
2c. Oh, and this video before I forget is allegedly a "fundraiser", very clear he's trying to use this to peacock about his goodness and to get more clicks I bet.
3. The avatar that mocks Jack for his desire for dicks interrupts his diatribe; mushbrained editing right there.
4. Jack admits that he goes to Olive Garden so much that he can list by order his favorite soups. This is not a good thing.
5. Jack is pretty low energy this video I've noticed; he's quieter than the last few I've looked at. I guess his lack of views for trying that one time made him stop caring again.
6. Some sins in his ingredient list includes the cheap shitty tube sausage and the fact I suspect he doubled his dries and didn't bother with his wets. What a stupid fucking glutton.
7. Jack does the Booger method that Lazyman from the podcast oh so dislikes; I guess feeling the heat is too hard or something.
8. Awkward pauses of silence as you scoop out the cheap shitty sausage meat out of the pot half-assedly. Nice.
8b. GG in not getting all the meat out; it's going to lead to some nice charcoal and bitterness in whatever you cook now fatty.
9. Barely cut up bacon is now added into the greasefire to be; I would rather not like big bits of bacon in this case since its crunch would fuck with the soup IMO.
10. I cannot hammer home enough how awkward it is to see him silently fumble and forcibly stir the bacon; it's just a mood killer and it's why at first I thought I'd not cover it.
11. Despite saying you shouldn't crisp the bacon, Lazy Jack manages to do this and undercook it at the same time. Masterful.
12. MMM MMM MORE BURNT FUCKING MEAT FOR THE SOUP
13. Pretty sure Tammy pre-cut the onions for Jack despite not being in the episode; they're only about one half too big rather than the disgusting chunks he usually half-asses.
14. Honestly, this isn't too bad at this stage; the onions are nice and sweated and the garlic should be fine with releasing its flavor.
14b. Not too bad a base for an onion soup tbh; just add some stock to balance out the excess grease in it.
15. Jack decides to season the onions now rather than incorporate it into the finished soup... and then admits that he'll do it at the end anyway.
16. "Little salt... little pepper" ~ Jack Scalfani on using a full dose of salt and a triple load of pepper on something he'll add more to later
17. Wendigo haunted Jack believes that a full complement of red pepper is a "dash".
17b. I like spices, but this is too much for the soup IMO.
18. Jack says the soup is going to pop... It probably will. Pop his weakened blood vessels.
19. If Jack was trying to caramelize the onions, no they aren't done. That takes a while due to all the sugar it has.
19b. They are nice and soft though.
20. Fatboy makes a roux and begins trying to avoid making dumplings in the grease.
21. Jack desperately tries to add in some stock and wars with the flour to not form dumplings.
22. Jack crows about how amazing this actual kinda soup smells.
23. Oh christ no.
23b. No.
23c. NOOOOO-
*One vendetta killing later*
24. So... this recipe he almost certainly stole asked him for 4 potatoes; what it probably asked for were medium sized ones.
24b. I say this because his rough chunked shit completely crowds the pan and renders this a not-soup.
25. Fat Jack struggles to dump the fuckload of spuds into the pot.
26. The Wendigo stirs in Jack; he keeps on getting eager for what he's smelling.
27. Jack explains that this soup should be done at a gentle boil; I'm surprised he even knows what that and simmer even mean.
28. Oh wait; he fucking doesn't; that's a vigorous boil bucko.
29. The soup still looks soupy... until he dumps the meats in; then it clearly becomes horribly crowded again.
30. Seriously... Jack is struggling to fucking mash the stirrer in; and he's also very likely crushing some potatoes in there into mash. Lovely.
31. By this point, this could just be charitably described as a stew due to the lack of liquidity in it.
32. "I need a spoon, the spatula isn't cutting it... I need to get under it" ~ Fat Jack
33. As I bit back another ragefit, Jack just shoves in full fucking handfuls of kale onto the top like it's going to do anything.
34. Jack is dead silent; he likely dreads eating this green leafed vegetable called kale.
35. Jack blames the pot for not being able to hold EVEN MORE KALE, when in reality it's due to his crippling tardery and gluttony since it's dead obvious he doubled on the dry food.
36. Jack catches himself on "most laziest", but won't be fucked to catch those awkward silences or paste his intro card in a good spot. Fuck off.
37. My thoughts on the kale getting pushed into the shit stew he calls soup:
38. LOVING THAT AWKWARD SILENCE
39. Jack then adds the seasoning mix again, because once is never enough for a pig like him.
40. Jack dumps most of the Red Pepper flakes and passively snipes at Tammy for not liking spicy like him.
40b. He has the balls to claim he doesn't want to make it too spicy after using spicy breakfast sausage and most of that red pepper.
41. This narcisssist thinks that his soup looks amazing and he needs a shot of it; forgetting that it looks nothing like what he claimed it's supposed to be.
42. This bitch is so delusional he thinks it looks good; no Jack it looks like my day old beef stew before I fucking reheat it. It looks awful fucko.
43. "Look at that broth" ~ WHAT FUCKING BROTH YOU UNDER DID THE LIQUIDS AAAAAA-
*One bout of agitation later*
44. I love the awkward pause Jack has before mentioning kale; he even admits he hates it because healthy.
45. It's fitting Jack has more energy and excitement shilling his product; he clearly only wants money and the ability to say to Tammy that he's a real people worker.
46. Jack's shit sauces are on sale; now I believe he's only mentioning these things because Big T finally got sick of that shit clogging up the garage.
47. When he finally eats the shit stew, he fakes an MMM at first before he flinches in disgust.
47b. Jack then in a desperate effort twists it and begins lying actively, since he had to twist the flinch into him just going into a higher MMM (in his own words)
48. Gay school girl mouth cover. Been a while since I saw that.
49. I think, but can't be certain his eyes are drifting into the liar's position when he makes up the story; I can't tell because this fat homo can't make this thing go beyond SD unless it's a phone though.
50. Jack admits he needed more spice; he's trying to say it's because he wants it hotter, but you and I know it's to hide how bad the soup is.
51. HAHAHA HE TRIED TO GET A SECOND SPOONFUL BUT COULDN'T STAND IT ENOUGH TO GET ONE
52. He lies about this being a homerun recipe, and then uses a blooper noise since Jack's a fucking idiot.
53. Surprisingly short end card.
It was an odyssey of suck.
1. Fat Jack is now using fake consensus methods to pretend that he still listens to people; he uses "people have been telling me" a lot this intro.
2. Jack references the video where he and Tammy try and fail to use a simple ordering app as the place where "alottapeepul" told him to do a rip-off recipe.
2b. In reality this fat faggot knew Babish was making an italian dish the day he uploaded this and wanted to use the algorithm to hopefully get people to watch and negrate his shitty video.
2c. Oh, and this video before I forget is allegedly a "fundraiser", very clear he's trying to use this to peacock about his goodness and to get more clicks I bet.
3. The avatar that mocks Jack for his desire for dicks interrupts his diatribe; mushbrained editing right there.
4. Jack admits that he goes to Olive Garden so much that he can list by order his favorite soups. This is not a good thing.
5. Jack is pretty low energy this video I've noticed; he's quieter than the last few I've looked at. I guess his lack of views for trying that one time made him stop caring again.
6. Some sins in his ingredient list includes the cheap shitty tube sausage and the fact I suspect he doubled his dries and didn't bother with his wets. What a stupid fucking glutton.
7. Jack does the Booger method that Lazyman from the podcast oh so dislikes; I guess feeling the heat is too hard or something.
8. Awkward pauses of silence as you scoop out the cheap shitty sausage meat out of the pot half-assedly. Nice.
8b. GG in not getting all the meat out; it's going to lead to some nice charcoal and bitterness in whatever you cook now fatty.
9. Barely cut up bacon is now added into the greasefire to be; I would rather not like big bits of bacon in this case since its crunch would fuck with the soup IMO.
10. I cannot hammer home enough how awkward it is to see him silently fumble and forcibly stir the bacon; it's just a mood killer and it's why at first I thought I'd not cover it.
11. Despite saying you shouldn't crisp the bacon, Lazy Jack manages to do this and undercook it at the same time. Masterful.
12. MMM MMM MORE BURNT FUCKING MEAT FOR THE SOUP
13. Pretty sure Tammy pre-cut the onions for Jack despite not being in the episode; they're only about one half too big rather than the disgusting chunks he usually half-asses.
14. Honestly, this isn't too bad at this stage; the onions are nice and sweated and the garlic should be fine with releasing its flavor.
14b. Not too bad a base for an onion soup tbh; just add some stock to balance out the excess grease in it.
15. Jack decides to season the onions now rather than incorporate it into the finished soup... and then admits that he'll do it at the end anyway.
16. "Little salt... little pepper" ~ Jack Scalfani on using a full dose of salt and a triple load of pepper on something he'll add more to later
17. Wendigo haunted Jack believes that a full complement of red pepper is a "dash".
17b. I like spices, but this is too much for the soup IMO.
18. Jack says the soup is going to pop... It probably will. Pop his weakened blood vessels.
19. If Jack was trying to caramelize the onions, no they aren't done. That takes a while due to all the sugar it has.
19b. They are nice and soft though.
20. Fatboy makes a roux and begins trying to avoid making dumplings in the grease.
21. Jack desperately tries to add in some stock and wars with the flour to not form dumplings.
22. Jack crows about how amazing this actual kinda soup smells.
23. Oh christ no.
23b. No.
23c. NOOOOO-
*One vendetta killing later*
24. So... this recipe he almost certainly stole asked him for 4 potatoes; what it probably asked for were medium sized ones.
24b. I say this because his rough chunked shit completely crowds the pan and renders this a not-soup.
25. Fat Jack struggles to dump the fuckload of spuds into the pot.
26. The Wendigo stirs in Jack; he keeps on getting eager for what he's smelling.
27. Jack explains that this soup should be done at a gentle boil; I'm surprised he even knows what that and simmer even mean.
28. Oh wait; he fucking doesn't; that's a vigorous boil bucko.
29. The soup still looks soupy... until he dumps the meats in; then it clearly becomes horribly crowded again.
30. Seriously... Jack is struggling to fucking mash the stirrer in; and he's also very likely crushing some potatoes in there into mash. Lovely.
31. By this point, this could just be charitably described as a stew due to the lack of liquidity in it.
32. "I need a spoon, the spatula isn't cutting it... I need to get under it" ~ Fat Jack
33. As I bit back another ragefit, Jack just shoves in full fucking handfuls of kale onto the top like it's going to do anything.
34. Jack is dead silent; he likely dreads eating this green leafed vegetable called kale.
35. Jack blames the pot for not being able to hold EVEN MORE KALE, when in reality it's due to his crippling tardery and gluttony since it's dead obvious he doubled on the dry food.
36. Jack catches himself on "most laziest", but won't be fucked to catch those awkward silences or paste his intro card in a good spot. Fuck off.
37. My thoughts on the kale getting pushed into the shit stew he calls soup:
38. LOVING THAT AWKWARD SILENCE
39. Jack then adds the seasoning mix again, because once is never enough for a pig like him.
40. Jack dumps most of the Red Pepper flakes and passively snipes at Tammy for not liking spicy like him.
40b. He has the balls to claim he doesn't want to make it too spicy after using spicy breakfast sausage and most of that red pepper.
41. This narcisssist thinks that his soup looks amazing and he needs a shot of it; forgetting that it looks nothing like what he claimed it's supposed to be.
42. This bitch is so delusional he thinks it looks good; no Jack it looks like my day old beef stew before I fucking reheat it. It looks awful fucko.
43. "Look at that broth" ~ WHAT FUCKING BROTH YOU UNDER DID THE LIQUIDS AAAAAA-
*One bout of agitation later*
44. I love the awkward pause Jack has before mentioning kale; he even admits he hates it because healthy.
45. It's fitting Jack has more energy and excitement shilling his product; he clearly only wants money and the ability to say to Tammy that he's a real people worker.
46. Jack's shit sauces are on sale; now I believe he's only mentioning these things because Big T finally got sick of that shit clogging up the garage.
47. When he finally eats the shit stew, he fakes an MMM at first before he flinches in disgust.
47b. Jack then in a desperate effort twists it and begins lying actively, since he had to twist the flinch into him just going into a higher MMM (in his own words)
48. Gay school girl mouth cover. Been a while since I saw that.
49. I think, but can't be certain his eyes are drifting into the liar's position when he makes up the story; I can't tell because this fat homo can't make this thing go beyond SD unless it's a phone though.
50. Jack admits he needed more spice; he's trying to say it's because he wants it hotter, but you and I know it's to hide how bad the soup is.
51. HAHAHA HE TRIED TO GET A SECOND SPOONFUL BUT COULDN'T STAND IT ENOUGH TO GET ONE
52. He lies about this being a homerun recipe, and then uses a blooper noise since Jack's a fucking idiot.
53. Surprisingly short end card.
It was an odyssey of suck.
Shabobus
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 21, 2018
Hasn't he been saying the virus is fake and mocking the people who take it seriously? What does he care if people are out? Complaining just for the sake of it, as always.
DX10
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 5, 2014
In a lot of the earlier Cali vids (especially the one where he literally ruins that poor, nicely decorated Chinese sit-down restaurant) you can tell he's ripped as shit, especially when he starts yelling at Jack Jr.
In the same video he has a momentary meltdown because a crappy looking Mexican place is showing trashy titty shows on their TV and straight up walks out and snaps at his son for laughing over boobs. Father of the Year!
Makes me wonder if Jack on the Go is borne out of the possibility Lorks-A-Lardy used to wander around food courts and strip malls looking for places to eat while absolutely rat-arsed, and, because His Wobbliness has to record everything he does like it's a TV show... You know, total speculation but it's amusing to think about IMO.
Last edited:
Aaway
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2016
yeah he thinks its a hoax that's being used to keep trump from being re-elected