“I Faked a Pregnancy To Scare Off My FWB”

“I Faked a Pregnancy To Scare Off My FWB”

I’m a 36-year-old woman. In early 2019, I was going through a horrible breakup. I just could not recover from the betrayal my ex caused (cheating, mostly). I was constantly thinking of ways to get revenge on him for the pain he caused, which I now know was not productive. Three months after the breakup I went online to purposely seek out men in his community to make him jealous (my ex lives over an hour away). I met “Alex” and we hit it off. Even though I was still secretly plotting revenge on my ex, I did enjoy Alex’s company. However, after a few months and the complications from a long-distance relationship, I didn’t really want to see Alex anymore (I was over my ex at that point). So I thought I could scare Alex away rather than tell him the truth, and so I lied and told him I was five months pregnant with my ex’s baby. Surprisingly, this did not scare him at all! He was shocked but wanted to see me still, even though we were mostly just friends with benefits.

Well, fast forward to present and he wants to move to my city in a few months! He thinks I have a 6-month-old baby (I claimed to have given birth last October and even sent fake pics), which of course I don’t! What should I do? I’ve been torn between telling him the truth that I was never pregnant and only trying to scare him away or telling him that I gave the baby over to his dad recently (he would never know). I’ve started to have feelings for Alex now that are stronger than just a FWB, which he mostly was since we started our “relationship” last June. What do I do? – Faked a Baby


Oh my. I mean, what if you actually told Alex that you gave your fake baby to the dad and you two proceeded with a relationship? You’d just… keep up the lie? Pretend you have a child out there you never see and have no relationship with at all? Most people might find that… odd. Alex would probably find that odd. Or, would you create a fake relationship with your fake baby? Maybe even have “phone calls with your ex” to check in on your baby and “visitation” with your fake baby every few months? I guess that could work for a while? But then, what if things get more serious with Alex — you have these strong feelings for him now, after all, and the feeling seems kind of mutual – and he wants to meet your baby? Would you borrow a baby from someone else? Ooh, I know! Maybe you could adopt a baby! It would have to be a baby who is currently six months old, of course. Or at least, looks six months old? Seems doable! I know lots of people are adopting pets right now with the pandemic and all so they have some company during quarantine. A baby is kind of like a pet. It’s great company and, in your case, would help cover your tracks in this lie you’ve gotten yourself all wound up in. Yeah, I think this could totally work out. What with the pandemic, there are probably a lot of babies who need homes right now. It shouldn’t be tooo hard to find one. And then just think of all the cute baby clothes you could buy – fun!
Ok, so, in closing: Definitely adopt a six-month-old baby, tell Alex you can’t wait to see him, and then enjoy the fruits of your labor in a totally fulfilling romantic relationship – a real FWB-turned-serious love story for the ages – AND the companionship of a little quarantine baby for yourself. Win-win. Oh, and I mean, I know you’re over your ex now and everything, but imagine when he finds out that you have a serious boyfriend AND a cute baby and you’re really happy – omg, the jealousy! Even when you’ve gotten over someone, it’s still pretty satisfying and exciting to create a little jealousy, you know what I mean?
I definitely think this is a super healthy scenario and will work out in the best way for everyone, but in case you aren’t quite ready to be a mom yet, you could probably just tell Alex the truth – that you have some very serious unresolved issues that you need to deal with — with the help of a therapist, preferably — and are not anywhere near emotionally available for a relationship with a cat, let alone an actual human adult, but you wish him the best, the end.
Good luck!
Also, P.S. I don’t really advise adopting a baby.

 
If this letter was true, is he a cuck, or is he a pedo playing the (relatively, you know, 2-10 year) long game?

I am not male, but it’s hard for me to imagine a guy without kids of his own pursuing raising another man’s kid for non-nefarious reasons. Only other reason I can think of is hobosexuality. I mean how hot can this woman be? If hot and rich then ok I guess? But otherwise...Idk I just don’t trust guys who pursue single moms, it’s weird and IMO against natural instincts so suspicious.
There a lot of guys with savior complexes, basically Captain Save-a-Ho.
 
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There are multiple reasons for this tbh, it just depends on how fucked/desperate said man is. You can be right and he might be a pedo biding his time or a literal cuck that will try to throw his gf/wife at any bud he has and watch the whole thing. Then there are some other plausible but less probable motives like being desperate to form a family and you decide to take the first chance, desperate for some pussy to the point you don't give a fuck, being naturally sterile and knowing you will not have offspring anyways or wanting the sweet warm feeling of being the saviour of some broad with a kid that whose man walked away. Plenty of choices, but we all know the worst in human nature is usually what wins people over today.

Then there is the matter of if she's hot and rich. I would say that if she was rich that would be enough for this to work. Men in a tough spot are also willing to take the gold digger approach and get into wealth by tapping the pussy of literal monstrosities. But in this case i highly doubt she's rich, specially since we don't know where she's from and that would be an indicator.

And about marrying/dating single moms, most guys have enough common sense to nope the fuck out of there. I would say that any self respecting man wouldn't work their asses off raising the child of another man unless you went for adoption out of the goodness of their heart, but in this day and age this is changing for the worst. At least you can rely on the minority belief that a woman's pussy is ruined beyond repair after she gives birth to keep some dudes away.


Or perhaps he is just seriously interested in this woman and doesn't care that she has a kid with another man? Y'know, the way most people in this planet behave in situations like this.
 
Being totally selfish is a sign of having a good judgement?
Yes it is "selfish" to not want to raise some other losers child and pass on their genes instead of your own.

Also the woman herself thought that this would work, her own thoughts were "No Man would want to raise somebody else's kid, he isn't that fucking pathetic." well it turned out she was wrong and we have culturally gelded men to the point where they are more pathetic than Wine Drinking Cat Ladies think they are.
 
36 and never married... This broad is going to act like a 22 year old forever and I blame Zoey Deschanel and Scott Pilgrim vs The World for the way women act in current year.

I blame Edgar Wright for being a good director in general but somehow bungling the central themes of the graphic novel series.

...also, I blame the sexual revolution.
 
This whole situation is a bad romantic comedy film waiting to happen, if it hasn't already.

I never suspected there was a more botched way of handling an annoying suitor than the woman telling a male friend (or group) to publicly confront the guy and tell him to stay away from her, but here we are.
 
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