Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 380 14.3%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 11.9%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,662
Wtf is wrong with her face in that close-up? Why is it so yellow and uneven and looks like lizard skin? What is going on with those weird lines going through her nose?
I can almost guarantee you whats going on with her nose is a failed attempt at contouring it. People highlight to make certain feautures pop, but contour others to slim them down. She applied so much it just looks muddy and brown. And shes godawful at makeup.
 
But... she's a professional makeup artist turned model! /sneed
Tess is probably the type that believes lots of expensive makeup equals makeup artist. If that were the case, there’d be many more professional makeup artists in the world. Like any form of art, good supplies are a must, but if you don’t know how to use them properly or apply them well, then it looks bad.

Her highlighter and attempts at contouring look terrible. She has no idea how light and shadows work, so she ends up looking greasy. She really should just apply highlighter to her cheeks and nowhere else. She also needs to work on finding lip colors that suit her better and get those awful fillers removed. She has no eye for style and it shows by how tacky she looks most of the time.
 
So... how do you think Bowie will grow up to be?

Because at this point I can see a few options:
  1. Drug addict;
  2. One of those "adult-babies" who sleep in oversized cribs;
  3. Guy that goes to sex clubs to be dominated by a woman in leather;
  4. Fattie.

So, in the first Instagram story about this, she complained about "having to see" the video in which Ahmaud is murdered because it traumatized her fee-fees; in the second she was already trying to virtue signal and talking about the "black experience" when she and the immediate people around her are white whales; in the third she claims that the "community" will get those two rednecks convicted.

Bitch, the only reason why they are in jail now is because people kept sharing the video. You cannot have one without the other.
 
0BC4E0EA-2468-4E9A-836F-3767F3344E25.jpegF65891FF-40E9-4529-8CE0-22CAFBDD37BD.jpegD057D405-2C31-4F9E-918C-C26D5CD36025.jpegFE4A8D2F-63A2-482F-8A24-E4029E35E640.jpegB0BA81A7-F691-44BF-BF6A-94DB987FE009.jpeg
 
Tess thinks being a bad parent is a ~quirky~ personality trait
View attachment 1277806
LMAO kid is based.
These two fart sniffers should have both kids taken by DCFS.

Nick gives a lecture on how he is a great father to the three year old who hasn't seen him in six months, and the 13 year old who he lived with for only three years and has now been sent to live on his own with a man who isnt a vetted foster parent and could be doing anything to him.

A++ #1 father
View attachment 1279750
So let's say that his father never told him that, even growing up. That's a sign of a shitty father. So essentially, Nick is perpetuating a cycle of abuse, but because he speaks fondly of his kid online, that makes it okay. I know people who have abusive parents. Some of them become abusers themselves. But some strive to do better. They say (as an an example) 'hey, my dad abandoned me and never told me he loved me or he was proud of me? I'll always be there for my kids and always tell them how proud I am of them.' Nick is in the former camp while also pretending (or trying to convince himself) that he's in the latter.
So... how do you think Bowie will grow up to be?

Because at this point I can see a few options:
  1. Drug addict;
  2. One of those "adult-babies" who sleep in oversized cribs;
  3. Guy that goes to sex clubs to be dominated by a woman in leather;
  4. Fattie.
I'm guessing a bit of 4, maybe 1, and allow me to post a 5th option: a misogynistic shitlord. He's four and already calling his mom a crazy bitch. That's not a good sign.
 

"boys"? What boys? You just have one because you dumped the other on someone else.

This cunt is either too lazy or stupid to keep up with her constant lies.

ProTip, Tess: It doesn't count as "spending time" when you either dump the kid on Jolene or do something without letting the kid participate.
 
So... how do you think Bowie will grow up to be?

Because at this point I can see a few options:
  1. Drug addict;
  2. One of those "adult-babies" who sleep in oversized cribs;
  3. Guy that goes to sex clubs to be dominated by a woman in leather;
  4. Fattie.
5. Cult member (love-bombing can be really effective on neglected and/or erratically adored children of Narcissists, and they're already so used to the other head-games, they don't even see how fucked up they are);

6. Ultra-conservative, and determined to be everything his parents despise;

7. Awkward loner who Jeffrey Dahmers a bunch of fat chicks before getting caught with a full freezer.
 
"boys"? What boys? You just have one because you dumped the other on someone else.

This cunt is either too lazy or stupid to keep up with her constant lies.

ProTip, Tess: It doesn't count as "spending time" when you either dump the kid on Jolene or do something without letting the kid participate.
I think Rylee is home now. She posted him the other day.
 
I think Rylee is home now. She posted him the other day.

Obviously he's just being borrowed for the weekend for shameless Mother's Day self-wanking and photo-ops.

"Thanks for posing with Momma so I can show my haterz what an awesome mom I am, Rylee. Now get the fuck outta here and i'll see you again in July for my Independence Day photo sesh! Bye, y'all!"
 
Last edited:
Your disabled mother raised Rylee for you for the first 2 years of his life. When Rylee was 10, she retired and moved across the country to live with and take care of your son and household in yet another one bedroom apartment that held 4 and soon to be 5 people. She packed all your shit for your move to Long Beach, and when it became clear that you expected her to raise your new infant AND take care of Rylee AND cook and clean, she finally had enough and moved back to Mississippi to live with your brother instead.

All this after being shot in the head, left for dead for hours, and fighting to relearn speaking, walking, etc - and overcoming her severe trauma from an episode of domestic violence that nearly killed her.

Ryann has the nerve to call this woman out for not loving her enough. I really can't.
 
Back