Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[JambledUpWords]

 

[burntgrilledcheese]

God she's unbearable.

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

You could have said "Happy Mothers day to every human" and saved a whole lot of typing you dumb fat bitch

 

[Miss Misery]

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Did you do sheet masks with them too?

 

[Water-T]

White Claw in a white trash claw

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

I think that's the first entry where a mom celebrates herself this extensively. It was about as sickening as staring at the cupcake sugar bombs. Didn't know that Mother's Day is also National Narcissists Day. Okay, when it comes to Tess it's hardly surprising, neither the cupcakes nor the masturbating over what a super brilliant mom she is.

 

[ADHD]

I love how she's posting those pictures of her when she was pregnant and thinks she looks any different than normal. No one would guess there was a baby in there if she didn't make a point to say it.

 

[Tomssu]

Here's a vid this proud mama posted. Funny, eh?

 

[Easy Peasy]

Rylee seems like a good kid, doing his best in spite of Tess.

Bowie is going to be a mega asshole.

I used to feel sympathy for Nick, but jokes on me, he was a loser this whole time.

Tess used to have the fat Lana del Rey thing working for her, but now shes just fatter.

Team Rylee I guess . Good luck kid.

 

[Pina Colada]

Here's a vid this proud mama posted. Funny, eh?
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"Bitch" probably coached him to say that. Disgusting.

 

[Christ Cried]

I always misread her last name as "Hooven"

 

[Salad Dodger]

Her post "Happy Mother's Day to me, for raising my exes" just highlights what an idiotic bitch she is. She chose to get involved with these men and stay in relationships with them. The only thing she raises is the number of lbs on the scale each week.

 

[suicide hotline]

How much fucking cake does this vapid cow eat? Every week, a different cake. Funnel cake, sheet cake, cheesecake, cupcakes. I've never seen anything like it. Most people eat cake a handful of times a year, in small portions, on birthdays, weddings or anniversaries. You know, celebrations. Because it's a sugar and fat laden calorie-dense nutritional black hole. You know, a treat.

This woman's addiction to both showing off and consuming her luxe designer desserts is like watching someone flushing money down the toilet with a coke addiction, but at least cokeheads are often somewhat productive. Can't wait to see what $50 boutique confection she scarfs down on her IG stories next.

 

[al-Batross]

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I would love to see an x-ray of those legs, they're terrifying.

 

[thriphhole]

God she's unbearable.

She is such a cunt.

 

[sperginity]

NPD cases who have children can never cover it up on mother's day. they act like its supposed to be an extra christmas just for moms, every year for the rest of their lives. Most mothers want a day off from the work they do (when kids are little) or a card + phone call (when they are older/moved out). It speaks to a really deep insecurity about parenting to require so much praise.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

NPD cases who have children can never cover it up on mother's day. they act like its supposed to be an extra christmas just for moms, every year for the rest of their lives. Most mothers want a day off from the work they do (when kids are little) or a card + phone call (when they are older/moved out). It speaks to a really deep insecurity about parenting to require so much praise.

Yeah, my husband fixed the AC in my car and ordered pizza for dinner.
That was my mother's day and I loved every bit of it.

 

[multiverse]

How much fucking cake does this vapid cow eat? Every week, a different cake. Funnel cake, sheet cake, cheesecake, cupcakes. I've never seen anything like it. Most people eat cake a handful of times a year, in small portions, on birthdays, weddings or anniversaries. You know, celebrations. Because it's a sugar and fat laden calorie-dense nutritional black hole. You know, a treat.

This woman's addiction to both showing off and consuming her luxe designer desserts is like watching someone flushing money down the toilet with a coke addiction, but at least cokeheads are often somewhat productive. Can't wait to see what $50 boutique confection she scarfs down on her IG stories next.

Right? She posts about eating some sort of cake or cupcakes on a weekly basis - which means she's probably eating interim cake that she doesn't bother to post about. Most hams don't show off weekly cakes - they know that would put paid to their stance that fat they eat like normies and the fat just spontaneously happens to them.

I hope this latest batch of cupcakes was extra empowering.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

I'm guessing a bit of 4, maybe 1, and allow me to post a 5th option: a misogynistic shitlord. He's four and already calling his mom a crazy bitch. That's not a good sign.

Tess likely pushed Bowie to say it. It’s the kind of “humor” Tess is known for.

 

[Punkinsplice]

Bowie looks and sounds frustrated in that video, and I bet it is because he either learned the word from her or he is being made to lie for the snap.
Edit: i heard at the end: "Because you t-[looks away] i don't wa" [sigh] cuts off.
seems tinfoily but just wanted to throw it out there.
Edited again to correct transcript