Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Skeletor]

It's official, fat mushbrain's disability is PERMANENT. This was not present in the Olive Garden app review posted on April 15.

I guess we all knew this, but it's quite a thing to hear the official pronouncement.

 

[AnOminous]

And it appears Jack has retaken control of his Facebook page.

The Beagle Boys will take it back again.

 

[LetterlandMafia]

I'd love to see Jack travel to a country with a rich culinary tradition like Italy or India just to see how he makes a mockery of it. Would probably go to Naples and say the best pizza can be found at Pizza Hut.

 

[Adamska]

I'd love to see Jack travel to a country with a rich culinary tradition like Italy or India just to see how he makes a mockery of it. Would probably go to Naples and say the best pizza can be found at Pizza Hut.

Let me show you something to decisively prove how he'd fuck it up.

You know Shepherd's pie? You know, the thing where you just grind mutton or lamb into mince, mix with diced/grated veg and seasonings, and then top it with mash with cheese bits? IE one of the easiest things on earth to make?

Here's his first try with it, with some lady friend:

But don't worry Foodjacks, he tried again this year on St. Paddy's Day:

And for cleansing the palate and to help those who experienced brain damage watching that shit (a friend of mine forgot how to cook it that's how bad Jack is), here's how an actual brit makes his:

 

[Aaway]

Let me show you something to decisively prove how he'd fuck it up.

You know Shepherd's pie? You know, the thing where you just grind mutton or lamb into mince, mix with diced/grated veg and seasonings, and then top it with mash with cheese bits? IE one of the easiest things on earth to make?

Here's his first try with it, with some lady friend:

But don't worry Foodjacks, he tried again this year on St. Paddy's Day:

And for cleansing the palate and to help those who experienced brain damage watching that shit (a friend of mine forgot how to cook it that's how bad Jack is), here's how an actual brit makes his:

you forgot one of his iconic fuck ups

he even uploaded an "apology" where he addresses the comments people left and says he'll redo it (he did.) if jack had uploaded that video today (and still had comments on) he would've ranted about "disgusting haters" in the comment section and not have even thought about redoing it. "Redo video?! it's perfect! mmmmm"

 

[Zhoban]

Let me show you something to decisively prove how he'd fuck it up.

You know Shepherd's pie? You know, the thing where you just grind mutton or lamb into mince, mix with diced/grated veg and seasonings, and then top it with mash with cheese bits? IE one of the easiest things on earth to make?

Here's his first try with it, with some lady friend:

But don't worry Foodjacks, he tried again this year on St. Paddy's Day:

And for cleansing the palate and to help those who experienced brain damage watching that shit (a friend of mine forgot how to cook it that's how bad Jack is), here's how an actual brit makes his:

Jack is the most amazing man I have ever seen. I did not even believe it was possible to somehow fuck up a shepherd's pie, but he found a way.

Since Jack claims he gets "a lot of requests", I have one: Jack, could you film yourself putting bread in a toaster? Since an Easy Bake Oven aimed at 5-year-olds is beyond you, I want to see if you can operate a toaster, without burning your house down.

 

[JackDavis]

Ugh they're so gross.

 

[DX10]

Man, if his state is already beginning to open shit up again like sit-down restaurants wholesale that's gonna be a firesale of carcasses right there. Here in the UK we're opening dribs and drabs this week and already seeing a fucking shitstorm of additional cases of COVID fly down our arses like biblical locusts. Just opening garden centers and allowing one additional household contact has massively expanded the infection rate from what I've heard. If Tennessee is opening up everything soon enough -- while the continental US is behind our stage in the outbreak -- then God be with them. People like Jack will be fucked, especially when they doubtlessly don't take any precautions and eat mostly finger food.

 

[feral cat #6385]

I'd love to see Jack travel to a country with a rich culinary tradition like Italy or India just to see how he makes a mockery of it. Would probably go to Naples and say the best pizza can be found at Pizza Hut.

I would like to see Jack go to China. Gutter oil and Jack really go together.

 

[stets]

Man, if his state is already beginning to open shit up again like sit-down restaurants wholesale that's gonna be a firesale of carcasses right there.

Tennessee was very minimally impacted. Their stay at home and closures of non-essential businesses ended two weeks ago. Confirmed infections have decreased during this time. They’re not going to have bodies stacked like cordwood. Tennessee isn’t similar to England.

But yeah, Jack would be pretty fucked if he caught it.

 

[DX10]

Tennessee was very minimally impacted. Their stay at home and closures of non-essential businesses ended two weeks ago. Confirmed infections have decreased during this time. They’re not going to have bodies stacked like cordwood. Tennessee isn’t similar to England.

But yeah, Jack would be pretty fucked if he caught it.

Realistically speaking if they didn't have a large initial outbreak they're in for an even bigger second wave, though.

 

[boxybum]

Another shitty boomer restaurant app review

I haven't eaten fast food in months due to this quarantine I just stay home and cook everything but these take away meals look really sad. You get 2 scraps of chicken breast and some gravy for $17 that shit is ridiculous. All inside of a melted plastic container. I would think Jack would just stick to cooking while he is inside seeing as how he considers himself a chef. Why is he going out if his way to get ripped off eating skimpy take away? This guy should be cooking every meal. If he was doing this right he would have lost at least 40 pounds since this whole thing started by simply sticking away from take out.

 

[Whatthefuck]

you forgot one of his iconic fuck ups

he even uploaded an "apology" where he addresses the comments people left and says he'll redo it (he did.) if jack had uploaded that video today (and still had comments on) he would've ranted about "disgusting haters" in the comment section and not have even thought about redoing it. "Redo video?! it's perfect! mmmmm"

I can't even imagine how you fuck up a Yorkshire Pudding, much less a Shepard's or Cottage Pie. These are pretty 101. I don't want him to try anything harder than that. I hope he never attempts Asian cuisine of any sort.

 

[captkrisma]

I can't even imagine how you fuck up a Yorkshire Pudding, much less a Shepard's or Cottage Pie. These are pretty 101. I don't want him to try anything harder than that. I hope he never attempts Asian cuisine of any sort.

He has already and each time was an incredible disaster. From making General Tso's chicken a non-newtonian paste, to making Pho in such a way that it overcooked the noodles and left the beef raw (which is...the opposite of what Pho is supposed to do) every Asian meal he made was a failure.

 

[salmonellajack]

1200 calorie appetiser. Jesus Christ Jack.

 

[JackDavis]

to making Pho in such a way that it overcooked the noodles and left the beef raw

Nah you got it backwards. Putting raw beef on top of pho noodles then pouring the boiling hot broth on top of it to cook it isn't just acceptable, it's awesome. The noodles were undercooked like shit. He took dry noodles and just soaked them in water instead of boiling them, they were undercooked and crunchy as fuck. In the next pho video he made, he didn't even show him cooking the noodles. He just used pad thai noodles, which is for stir frying, not soup.

 

[Aaway]

so jack said the next JOTG video will be filmed inside a restaurant

i guarantee there will be more bitching about the new sanitation procedures than talking about the food itself

 

[Lousy Cleaning Service]

1200 calorie appetiser. Jesus Christ Jack.

I want to catalog all of these app review orders and do a total calorie count. Looking at the nutrition information on Olive Garden shows the majority of dinners above 1000 calories.

I love the line they put on each page of the nutrition info: "2000 calories a day is used for general nutrition advice, but calorie needs vary.".

Jack's ass is eating Olympic swimmer tier intake every day.

 

[AnOminous]

Since Jack claims he gets "a lot of requests", I have one: Jack, could you film yourself putting bread in a toaster?

I want to see that just so I can see how toast somehow ends up raw and bloody and covered in salmonella.

 

[Honzou]

“Just cause we did it in history does not always mean we should do it again. #holocost” —Jack Scalfani

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Edit: @A Big Bumbling Black Man pointed out that it’s #holocost, not #holocaust.

This reminds me of this gem