Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Godzilla@1989]

It does. AI and automation are supposed to replace the obsolete mayonnaise ghouls and give Bob all the AI girlfriends he can fuck.
Which raises an interesting question: would Bob actually fuck his AI girlfriend, or ignore it/her in favor of Twitter?

How can he fuck if his penis is buried deep in the fat?

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

This talk of Bob's fixation on his "superior future" with AI and automation makes me wish that I was genie so I could grant him his wish, albeit with a major monkey paw.

- His starship would be a junk barge with a faulty star/warp/hyperdrive that is adrift in interstellar space.
- His robot body would be a replica of his human one with nothing below the torso.
- The only movies on board would be Batman v Superman, Joker, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Amazing Spider-Man 2.
- Likewise, the only video games available would FPSes and Sonic 06.
- The only AI for him to converse with would be programmed with the personality of Donald Trump.

 

[Marissa Moira]

How can he fuck if his penis is buried deep in the fat?

I used to think this too, but then i found out that all of the world's fattest guys had an active sexlife. We're talking truck size tonnage fatties that appeared on Jerry Springer and Guinness Book of World Records. They were able to find women would would fuck them.

 

[Judge Dredd]

Again I know I'm late and kind of off topic with this, but that story about going back to his childhood home and his dog is still alive, yada yada, I know he has said something like that before elsewhere, but not presenting it in the context of a dream he had. I'm pretty sure he was comparing something that happened that he wasn't happy with to going back to your childhood house, your dog is still alive and happy to see you, and then it all turns bad. My memory is hazy on this but I'm positive he has described such a situation before. I was actually 99.9% sure it was in his book so I went back and listened to that Struggle Session podcast where the guy did a reading but I didn't hear it in there. I tried combing his tweets using the Twitter search function but no luck there either. Am I the only one here who remembers this? My husband doesn't even use this website or follow Bob himself but when I mentioned it he knew exactly what I was talking about and remembered it too. Is this a shared delusion between us or am I right?

There was an early episode of Game Overthinker where he mentioned the story to describe the mindset of a Nintendo fanboy. Later, a podcast with someone who was friends with Bob described a similar story that Bob took as a religious vision.

Even he has to realize that his "muh obsoletes" rides on the sped sled make him one of the most loathed people on the platform, so what does he lose by not dropping the dekulakization fantasies and focusing more on his upcoming robot waifu?

There's something Jordan Peterson said. It was something like "pick a job where you can be in the top 25% of that field, you'll be happy". The context had to do with picking a career that's challenging, but not leaving you stuck at the bottom rung where you'll end up being miserable.

I'm not saying his a top 25% political pundit, but he knows even less about robotics. All he does is follow those "Science fuck yeah!" style accounts and retweet anything about Boston Dynamics.

Nick Rekieta interviewed Dollhouse Phil* a few times, I find them fascinating to listen to even though real dolls aren't my thing. Raging Golden Eagle has talked about the topic a lot as well. Bob would dismiss them and their fans as gamergaters, weebs, or dudebros. Their complaints about China or sex trafficking laws being used to crack down on what are basically sex toys would result in Bob dismissing them as obsoletes.


*Dollhouse Phil is a British man who has real dolls made overseas and imports them into the UK. He's a charismatic guy and his unusual line of works makes his interviews with Nick an easy listen.

Edit:

I used to think this too, but then i found out that all of the world's fattest guys had an active sexlife. We're talking truck size tonnage fatties that appeared on Jerry Springer and Guinness Book of World Records. They were able to find women would would fuck them.

There's hope for us all.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

I used to think this too, but then i found out that all of the world's fattest guys had an active sexlife. We're talking truck size tonnage fatties that appeared on Jerry Springer and Guinness Book of World Records. They were able to find women would would fuck them.

Sounds like either fetishists or women who know their going to only have to sit up and think of England for a few years before they inherit the whales' assets.

Robert doesn't have much in the way of worthwhile assets, and there are better options to satisfy a fat fetish.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

This talk of Bob's fixation on his "superior future" with AI and automation makes me wish that I was genie so I could grant him his wish, albeit with a major monkey paw.

- His starship would be a junk barge with a faulty star/warp/hyperdrive that is adrift in interstellar space.
- His robot body would be a replica of his human one with nothing below the torso.
- The only movies on board would be Batman v Superman, Joker, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Amazing Spider-Man 2.
- Likewise, the only video games available would FPSes and Sonic 06.
- The only AI for him to converse with would be programmed with the personality of Donald Trump.

And also Christopher Nolan and Zack Snyder movies.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I used to think this too, but then i found out that all of the world's fattest guys had an active sexlife. We're talking truck size tonnage fatties that appeared on Jerry Springer and Guinness Book of World Records. They were able to find women would would fuck them.

Fucking is one thing. Bob can’t even find a woman willing to talk to him. Yet he believes he has “stalkers.”



Meanwhile, he’s also having imaginary conversations at megacorps. Only someone who’s never been in the workforce would think this:



Also, he really needs to stop trying to be funny. It never, ever works.

 

[XtrmGamr719]

Also, he really needs to stop trying to be funny. It never, ever works.


View attachment 1300285

I don't even know who this guy is, but I just wanna know why Bob specified the tune being to "The Monster Mash" of all things?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I don't even know who this guy is, but I just wanna know why Bob specified the tune being to "The Monster Mash" of all things?

Because his name is Amash and he’s LITERALLY A NAZI!!!!!!!!! (Read: He’s not a Democrat.)

 

[XtrmGamr719]

Because his name is Amash and he’s LITERALLY A NAZI!!!!!!!!! (Read: He’s not a Democrat.)

Ahhhhhh, that's it. So I guess Bob, in all of his infinite wisdom, was predicting Night Show hosts making that?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Laura Ingraham’s politics aren’t mine, but that doesn’t stop me from knowing she’s a fucking hero to the three kids she adopted. But Bob is a piece of shit, so he thinks she’s a “thing” and that his life is worth more.

 

[XtrmGamr719]

Laura Ingraham’s politics aren’t mine, but that doesn’t stop me from knowing she’s a fucking hero to the three kids she adopted. But Bob is a piece of shit, so he thinks she’s a “thing” and that his life is worth more.

View attachment 1300349

Well I decided to look in the replies and I grew disappointed. I shouldn't have looked.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

Laura Ingraham’s politics aren’t mine, but that doesn’t stop me from knowing she’s a fucking hero to the three kids she adopted. But Bob is a piece of shit, so he thinks she’s a “thing” and that his life is worth more.

View attachment 1300349

Robert's just jealous because he knows if he walked into an adoption center, he'd be walking out with an FBI agent who would demand he answer some very pointed questions.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Robert's just jealous because he knows if he walked into an adoption center, he'd be walking out with an FBI agent who would demand he answer some very pointed questions.

Also, he’ll never lose his virginity and thus never have children of his own (thank God). But I’d love to know what he’s done with his life that makes him think he’s superior to someone who saved three kids from living their lives in orphanages. Voting for Hillary isn’t exactly an act of valor.

 

[The tired cat]

Robert's just jealous because he knows if he walked into an adoption center, he'd be walking out with an FBI agent who would demand he answer some very pointed questions.

Nah, if Bobo walked into an adoption center, they would say that an all you can eat buffet is down the block.

 

[Meriasek]

Robert does not take baths, and I expect that he barely takes showers. He is too large for the standard size tub. Look at how tall he his, for one. He will already have a hard time fitting in the tub on that alone. Then how wide he is- he cannot sit comfortably in the tub, nor will there be enough water in it to mean anything.

He cannot have a sliding shower door, and instead has a curtain. He will not fit under the standard height shower head, so he will have to stoop and bend to fit underneath it, which will be uncomfortable and with his bulk push out the curtain from the tub allowing water out onto the floor. We all know how much he cleans his hovel, so faced with this prospect he probably showers once a week or so.

With him living in the basement, and him being him, I doubt he has sprung for a custom bathroom that is sized for him.

On height alone Bob would be a 4XL even if he was a normal weight. But as he is now I'd guess he'd be a 6XL or a 7XL.

Just how big do you think Bob is? He says he's 6'2, that's not freakishly tall. He just looks enormous because he's a butterball. Granted, he is tall enough that a normal bathtub will be uncomfortable, though.

Is that Bob's sister? She looks reasonably attractive unlike the Brothers Chipman. Also, little tip, Chrissy: you might want to leave those envelopes out of frame. I can hazard a guess that you live on a Magnolia Ave because of that label.

Yeah. Takes about two minutes and minimal autism levels on Google Street View to find out where Chris lives from this (combined with all the pictures he shared).
Whoever bet that they still have the Christmas lights out in whenever-Streetview-came-it-was-not-Christmas-anymore, collect your money, because of course they still had lights out.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

His ebay username cracks me up, that insistence on cramming his Mario worship into every fucking thing in his life. I'm shocked he didn't name himself MarioBob back at the beginning of his Youtube 'career'.

Was Bob molested as a kid and now he’s permanently stuck at six years old? Because Jesus fucking Christ he’s a child.

 

[Meriasek]

I think Bob really, truly, literally doesn't understand that movies aren't real. I mean, he'll say "I studied new media, friendo, of course I know movies aren't real", but on a subconscious level he doesn't realize that it's not just the characters and the stories that are fictional, but also the internal rules of the universe. He truly thinks that the nerds always win over the jocks and bullies in the end, and that by virtue of being the underdog he would grow up to come out on top, because the John-Hughes-end-montage said so. That this didn't happen broke his mind, quite literally. He can't resolve the cognitive dissonance from that, so he's spiraling further and further out of control. The bullies won, and he can't understand why. To him, this should be fundamentally impossible, and time is running out. He's pushing 40 and he knows he's absolutely pathetic. He wanted to be James Gunn, or at least Kevin Smith. Instead, he became the obese version of Napoleon Dynamite's uncle.

/edit:
His case would be quite sad. There's obviously something fundamentally wrong with him, but there's not really any way he would get help. He's functional enough to be left alone. With just a bit more understanding on what reality is he could have ended up like his brother: With a house and a wife and kid that he dearly loves. Sure, they're basic white trash, borderline hoarders and messies, but Chris is HAPPY to a degree that Bob is incapable of feeling. He absolutely made it compared to his brother. He should leave social media alone and focus on his family and not get roped in to Bob's increasingly unhinged political spergouts. I get that Bob is also his family and that he loves his brother, but he should just stay away from the politics. He basically doxed himself by accident and, due to his proximity to Bob, is already examined by this place.
/edit2: I forgot where I was going. Bob's case would be sad, if he wasn't so goddamn malicious. But then he wouldn't be Lolcow and nobody would care.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

I think Bob really, truly, literally doesn't understand that movies aren't real. I mean, he'll say "I studied new media, friendo, of course I know movies aren't real", but on a subconscious level he doesn't realize that it's not just the characters and the stories that are fictional, but also the internal rules of the universe. He truly thinks that the nerds always win over the jocks and bullies in the end, and that by virtue of being the underdog he would grow up to come out on top, because the John-Hughes-end-montage said so. That this didn't happen broke his mind, quite literally. He can't resolve the cognitive dissonance from that, so he's spiraling further and further out of control. The bullies won, and he can't understand why. To him, this should be fundamentally impossible, and time is running out. He's pushing 40 and he knows he's absolutely pathetic. He wanted to be James Gunn, or at least Kevin Smith. Instead, he became the obese version of Napoleon Dynamite's uncle.

/edit:
His case would be quite sad. There's obviously something fundamentally wrong with him, but there's not really any way he would get help. He's functional enough to be left alone. With just a bit more understanding on what reality is he could have ended up like his brother: With a house and a wife and kid that he dearly loves. Sure, they're basic white trash, borderline hoarders and messies, but Chris is HAPPY to a degree that Bob is incapable of feeling. He absolutely made it compared to his brother. He should leave social media alone and focus on his family and not get roped in to Bob's increasingly unhinged political spergouts. I get that Bob is also his family and that he loves his brother, but he should just stay away from the politics. He basically doxed himself by accident and, due to his proximity to Bob, is already examined by this place.
/edit2: I forgot where I was going. Bob's case would be sad, if he wasn't so goddamn malicious. But then he wouldn't be Lolcow and nobody would care.

The case of Bob reminds me a bit of Elliot Rodger: He wanted a girlfriend and he didn't understood why he couldn't get one after doing nothing to socialize or not talking to people for months. Both wonder why the world is so bad to them and that everyone must be against them because they are superior to everyone else. It's because of this that i think that Bob's "Superior" rants are an obvious coping mechanism because he looks around him and everyone has moved on. Former colleages, old aquaintances... Even his brother managed to be mildly successful being not much different than him and i think this would be a huge sore spot for him. I can only imagine how miserable Bob would feel around his brother: a man cut from his own cloth that achived basic success. It is the living proof of his failure, the evidence that he could have done it. And it's because of this i kinda feel for Bob... Until i remember he brought this on himself.

And you are right on the fact that Bob should leave the internet for a time and his family should keep a safe distance from him. The accidental dox is already an important thing. Plus, maybe if he stayed off the internet he would cool off and be less steamed about everything.

 

[Johan Schmidt]

I think you're over analysing it. Bob is just a fat, lazy moron with an entitelement complex.