Corrupt-a-Wish

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Sussuro said:
You are a cyborg from when they first experiment with the science and you are basically a human torso with clumsy mechanics attached being kept alive in a laboratory.

On that note; I wish they had prosthetics that integrate seamlessly with the body as in the one Will Smith's character wears in I, Robot.
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Granted, but you can't afford them in your lifetime.

I wish I could go to Comiket.
 
You go, but it is closed down within seconds because of a terrorist attack... that you are caught in.

I wish for an old Record of A Piper at the Gates of Dawn by Pink Floyd in perfect, mint, working condition.
 
Alex Krycek said:
You go, but it is closed down within seconds because of a terrorist attack... that you are caught in.

I wish for an old Record of A Piper at the Gates of Dawn by Pink Floyd in perfect, mint, working condition.
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You receive it as a gift but Pink Floyd wants to do a complete remastering of their album and hires assassins to destroy every original copy in existence, yours is the fourth to be destroyed.

I wish for all hard achievements in my video games to be unlocked when I feel I am finished the game.
 
A.Shitposter said:
You receive it as a gift but Pink Floyd wants to do a complete remastering of their album and hires assassins to destroy every original copy in existence, yours is the fourth to be destroyed.

I wish for all hard achievements in my video games to be unlocked when I feel I am finished the game.
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You get them unlocked, but Steam VAC-bans you for manipulating your achievements.

I wish dinosaurs were still alive.
 
Valiant said:
You get them unlocked, but Steam VAC-bans you for manipulating your achievements.

I wish dinosaurs were still alive.
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Pretty soon you won't as they begin to destroy all of human civilization, except for Chris and a handful of lucky ladies who then repopulate the planet with his offspring.

I wish my allergies would stop bugging me.
 
Now, instead of a normal allergic reaction, your allergies put you into a coma. You can't be annoyed if you're unconscious.

I wish this cut on my thumb weren't in such an inconvenient place.
 
warhound said:
Now, instead of a normal allergic reaction, your allergies put you into a coma. You can't be annoyed if you're unconscious.

I wish this cut on my thumb weren't in such an inconvenient place.
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The cut is now on your butt, and you also have a wart on your index finger.

I wish I didn't get canker sores so often.
 
trombonista said:
The cut is now on your butt, and you also have a wart on your index finger.

I wish I didn't get canker sores so often.
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Your T-cell-mediated immune response stops working, period. You die from the common cold in a week.

I wish I had a pony.
 
trombonista said:
You now have the infamous Lyra plushie.

I wish I had a chili dog.
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I poisoned your chili dog for giving me such a horrible gift. You die painfully.

I wish I had the power to control air pressure at will.
 
APerson said:
I poisoned your chili dog for giving me such a horrible gift. You die painfully.

I wish I had the power to control air pressure at will.
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Granted, you get too excited with your power that a Chipmunk's Bounty of Banana's pierces your skull while you play.

I wish for a docile Alligator that will be my loyal pet.
 
The alligator eats a small child. You are sued for everything, and the alligator is put down.

I wish Taco Bell was open and serving non-breakfast items right now.
 
Picklechu said:
The alligator eats a small child. You are sued for everything, and the alligator is put down.

I wish Taco Bell was open and serving non-breakfast items right now.
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Taco Bell is now open and serving non-breakfast items . . . but only to Kim Jong Un, as part of a cultural exchange program. Kim Jong Un finds the tacos disgusting and orders the "cultural eradication of Taco Bell." Yum brand stores across the nation close down due to fears of North Korean sabotage to their meat supply--which means no more Taco Bell, KFC, or Pizza Hut for the time being. Stores eventually re-open months later, but now you have to go through a Department of Homeland Security checkpoint.

Ironically, Kim Jong Un would have found the breakfast waffle taco delicious.

I wish Bethesda would release Morrowind, Oblivion, and Skyrim on the Xbox One store.
 
The three games of the TES series are now on Xbox One. Unfortunately, Morrowind is missing its expansions which means no Mournhold or Solstheim. Oblivion still looks the same as it did for 360 so no better graphics on Xbox One. Not much change for Skyrim thankfully. Unfortunately, it cost around $ 79.99.

I wish I had a ponytail just like my avatar, Alfonzo, complete with a gun to shoot a Korean man who seeks a sword that was stolen by the mafia.
 
c-no said:
The three games of the TES series are now on Xbox One. Unfortunately, Morrowind is missing its expansions which means no Mournhold or Solstheim. Oblivion still looks the same as it did for 360 so no better graphics on Xbox One. Not much change for Skyrim thankfully. Unfortunately, it cost around $ 79.99.

I wish I had a ponytail just like my avatar, Alfonzo, complete with a gun to shoot a Korean man who seeks a sword that was stolen by the mafia.
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You have a ponytail, but it's actually made from dead ponies. You also have a gun, but are apprehended for it.
I wish I could read sheet music.
 
A.Shitposter said:
Sheet music is now the only thing you are capable of reading.
I wish I didn't have to do laundry.
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Congrats, you don't have to do the laundry. Unfortunately, it turns out that the clothes are forever stained with whatever touches them. Eventually, your home can be like that of Chris' home.

I wish I could baster Kiwi's but without any implication that can get me arrested or killed.
 
c-no said:
Congrats, you don't have to do the laundry. Unfortunately, it turns out that the clothes are forever stained with whatever touches them. Eventually, your home can be like that of Chris' home.

I wish I could baster Kiwi's but without any implication that can get me arrested or killed.
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I don't know what bastering is, but You can only do that over and over until it becomes unbearable and you have to kill yourself.

I wish I was a dragon
 
You try to steal one princess and some knight comes and stabs you in the heart.

I wish that I were indestructible.
 
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