The Horrors of the "Professional" World - Stories that will make you wonder how we exist.

[KimCoppolaAficionado]

About a year ago it became my lot in life to deal with this will dispute between three brothers. Our client was an executor of the Will, and one of the other brothers was upset that their father hadn't made reasonable provision in the Will for him.

What had their late father left this son of his?

I quote, "my least favourite shotgun, so he can shoot himself with it."

Pretty based tbh

 

[neverendingmidi]

About a year ago it became my lot in life to deal with this will dispute between three brothers. Our client was an executor of the Will, and one of the other brothers was upset that their father hadn't made reasonable provision in the Will for him.

What had their late father left this son of his?

I quote, "my least favourite shotgun, so he can shoot himself with it."

Damn. I wish I'd seen their interactions when dad was alive.

At a distance.

 

[TheImportantFart]

I’ve got a secondary victim claim at the moment and the Claimant is claiming the cost of alcohol to help her cope with the death of her daughter as a future loss. I laughed out loud when I read that.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

This horror doesn't come from a client, but from a co-worker at a former firm I was in. Dennis, for that wasn't his name, was a fat old boomer of a lawyer who spent most of his time fundraising for his charity to save African elephants from poachers, and palming everything off to Counsel rather than doing any actual brain-work himself. He'd then repackage Counsel's advice for the client and/or into incredibly snotty letters.

Anyhow. One day he cornered me in my room and asked how my weekend had been. Which turned into him bending my ear about how much he'd raised for the poor suffering elephants. He then proceeded to traumatise me for life by asking me if I'd like to hear his impressions of dogs barking.

"Not really," says I.

He them proceeds to run through about fifty different breeds of dogs and exhibit the differing manners in which they barked.

I started looking for another job the next day.

 

[Buttigieg2020]

This is one of the reasons i hope there is an outbreak of a massive and deadly disease or their economy tanks so they cannot leave their country.

Wish granted!

 

[BrunoMattei]

Wish granted!

@Malagor the dank omen

Dude is going to have an existential moment and be like:

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

@Malagor the dank omen

Dude is going to have an existential moment and be like:

View attachment 1257284

Not much. I'm salty as fuck tho because this quarentine has nuked both my job and my prospects for the next 4 months.
But there is a silver lining. People will look funny at chinese people when they do weird stuff now.

 

[BrunoMattei]

Not much. I'm salty as fuck tho because this quarentine has nuked both my job and my prospects for the next 4 months.
But there is a silver lining. People will look funny at chinese people when they do weird stuff now.

I guess you could say... Be careful what you wish for.

Your life is a Twilight Zone episode, nigga.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

I guess you could say... Be careful what you wish for.

Your life is a Twilight Zone episode, nigga.

At first i could bear with it. First month was alright because i had plenty of stuff to do but now the existential dread and feeling of restlessness are catching up because i'm moping around my house trying to do things that amount to nothing.
I guess that's why i'm back here. But i'll be alright. After all, i'm a lucky boy.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Not much. I'm salty as fuck tho because this quarentine has nuked both my job and my prospects for the next 4 months.
But there is a silver lining. People will look funny at chinese people when they do weird stuff now.

Imagine how many employers will turn every applicant away because they have Corona-gaps in their resume.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

Imagine how many employers will turn every applicant away because they have Corona-gaps in their resume.

Not only this, but here in Spain business have been closed for 2 months. You can imagine how bad it is to have your salary frozen for 2 months and the prospect of being fired constantly looming in the horizon. And on top of that, add the fact that nobody is hiring

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Not much. I'm salty as fuck tho because this quarentine has nuked both my job and my prospects for the next 4 months.
But there is a silver lining. People will look funny at chinese people when they do weird stuff now.

You mean they didn't already? I thought you had previously said that the "ugly Chinese tourist" has replaced the "ugly American tourist" as the bugbear of the hospitality industry?

I think the image that sums up the modern Chicom attitude to the world is this. Taken in 2015 at the Bicester Designer Village. I like how the mother is glowering at the camera as if to say, "yeah, my son's taking a shit on your doorstep. Wanna make something of it?"

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

You mean they didn't already? I thought you had previously said that the "ugly Chinese tourist" has replaced the "ugly American tourist" as the bugbear of the hospitality industry?

I think the image that sums up the modern Chicom attitude to the world is this. Taken in 2015 at the Bicester Designer Village. I like how the mother is glowering at the camera as if to say, "yeah, my son's taking a shit on your doorstep. Wanna make something of it?"

In my opinion, most yankees are a alright and so far i haven't found any that has been unpleasant. Even people from California have been quite swell but i never let my guard down around them, even if my heavy tan might get me some minority points. But all of this is because they are in a historical place and the wildest thing you can do is getting lost in the mountains and getting drunk on nice german beer you bought at the local market.

But in Spain things are different and most tourists are obnoxious idiots who make the locals cringe with embarrassment. That's why in Spain, depending on where you come from, you have a certain "moron" label that will make people react different. For example, if you are a swedish female most spanish males will think that you are the biggest whore in town and that you will spread your legs to whoever looks your way and if you are a british male everyone will look at you as a rampaging alcoholic that is soon to be dead.

But chinese, no matter where you find them, are annoying, loud, entitled as fuck and horribly dirty.

 

[Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth]

if you are a british male everyone will look at you as a rampaging alcoholic that is soon to be dead.

But that's true.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

But that's true.

And that's why. Stereotypes stem from some sort of real life experience or event or else they wouldn't exist.

And the Brits got that from all the young britbongs coming to spain to get hammered 24/7 and throwing themselves off balconies

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Someone bought in a tub of candy corn, etc to work last week. Everybody had their nasty fucking hands in it, just eating from the container.

I'm quoting myself, but this shit at my job has got to stop when we come back in June. I actually began eschewing myself from their potlucks earlier this year due to my new diet, and germs. I work with a bunch couple of hicks who never wash their hands.

 

[The Un-Clit]

Someone bought in a tub of candy corn, etc to work last week. Everybody had their nasty fucking hands in it, just eating from the container.

Reading this 2016 post in the era of the COVID-19 terror scare is highly amusing. I imagine you would get fired just for bringing in the group grope tub of candy now.

 

[XYZpdq]

Reading this 2016 post in the era of the COVID-19 terror scare is highly amusing. I imagine you would get fired just for bringing in the group grope tub of candy now.

they were doing that shit at my job through February

 

[The Un-Clit]

I can honestly say that I've never been more disgusted in my life than I was earlier today. I never saw the guy's face (mainly because I just wanted to GTFO before I puked all over the place), but all I knew was that he was wearing brightly colored sneakers, which could be any number of people here, honestly.

I'm gonna have some terrible dreams tonight...

I know this is an ancient post, but how the hell could you not have said something?? Like "DUDE, WHY ARE YOU SHITTING ONTO THE FLOOR??? Are you a fucking ANIMAL?? WHY aren't you using the toilet directly? That fucking reeks! WHY do you think we have toilets with water? it's to mask that fucking stench of shit!! what's WRONG with you, and who is your boss??"

I am not an aggressive person normally but that kind of shit (lol) would set me off instantly. I wouldn't let anyone get away with that shit (moar lol) in that case.

GodBear DAMN.

 

[Army Burger]

I know this is an ancient post, but how the hell could you not have said something?? Like "DUDE, WHY ARE YOU SHITTING ONTO THE FLOOR??? Are you a fucking ANIMAL?? WHY aren't you using the toilet directly? That fucking reeks! WHY do you think we have toilets with water? it's to mask that fucking stench of shit!! what's WRONG with you, and who is your boss??"

I am not an aggressive person normally but that kind of shit (lol) would set me off instantly. I wouldn't let anyone get away with that shit (moar lol) in that case.

GodBear DAMN.

I just wanted to get out of there, no point reasoning with a pajeet about bathroom habits anyhow.