Halo Top ice cream YT commercial fails to sell ice cream - It's a very fat woman dancing in her underwear. No, really

Yes, this is my fetish
IMGONNABROOOOOOOOFTZZZ.gif
 
Other advertisers that cater to large women are smarter and more tactful in that they don't actually emphasize the gross aspects of fatness, but the idealistic image of a fat body. Everyone knows excess fat looks bad, makes people feel bad, and is not something that sells. Why emphasize how actually fat and ridiculous these women look? And the models in other body positive ads are usually not actually fat but just slightly larger. So this commercial fails on two fronts and falls flat as a result.
 
Other advertisers that cater to large women are smarter and more tactful in that they don't actually emphasize the gross aspects of fatness, but the idealistic image of a fat body. Everyone knows excess fat looks bad, makes people feel bad, and is not something that sells. Why emphasize how actually fat and ridiculous these women look? And the models in other body positive ads are usually not actually fat but just slightly larger. So this commercial fails on two fronts and falls flat as a result.

It's yet another clown world ad that for utterly inexplicable reasons, decides to spit in the face of their own specific customer base. They basically just called their customers a bunch of fat uggos.
 
With enough Jack Daniel's® Old No. 7 brand Tennessee Whiskey, any field seems fertile enough to plow! But even the old stand-by may not be enough, so instead try Jack Daniel's® Tennessee Fire for that "cinnamon fire" most backwoods boondogglers use to hoe up and spread their seed! Say goodbye to limp-legging around a mound when the heat overwhelms your senses and stiffens your resolve to go a whole nine-acres!
I want your entire stock.
 
If we're not supposed to worry about all the things we should do and just guzzle down an entire container of ice cream -- fuck it, I'm eating the good stuff.

This doesn't have the same sugar free stuff as those gummy bears, does it? Because that would be hilarious if it actually does make you lose weight from giving you the shits if you eat it all in one sitting.
 
If we're not supposed to worry about all the things we should do and just guzzle down an entire container of ice cream -- fuck it, I'm eating the good stuff.

This doesn't have the same sugar free stuff as those gummy bears, does it? Because that would be hilarious if it actually does make you lose weight from giving you the shits if you eat it all in one sitting.
It is, and it does.
 
It's yet another clown world ad that for utterly inexplicable reasons, decides to spit in the face of their own specific customer base. They basically just called their customers a bunch of fat uggos.
The only place I ever hear about Halo Top is from /r/1200isplenty types so I don't think their customers are fatties.

It's another "insult your existing customers to appeal to people who won't even buy your product" move.
 
If we're not supposed to worry about all the things we should do and just guzzle down an entire container of ice cream -- fuck it, I'm eating the good stuff.

This doesn't have the same sugar free stuff as those gummy bears, does it? Because that would be hilarious if it actually does make you lose weight from giving you the shits if you eat it all in one sitting.

It has stevia which must be absolutely disgusting in "ice cream." Anna Johnson the munchie anorexic buys it, and she only consumes (or pretends to consume) the most absolutely repulsive anorexic food, so it must be absolutely awful.
 
I'm honestly more offended by the phrase, "shoulding" than anything else. It's like "adulting" or any of these "relatable, quirky" marketing bollocks. Fuck this shit, fuck Halo Top, and fuck this landwhale.

Actually on second thought, no, forget it, don't fuck the landwhale. She's fat.
Use of phrases like 'adulting' should merit a lifetime in a labor camp. And fatty should go with them.
 
I spent way too long staring at the title trying to figure out what the fuck "sholding" was.

Fun facts from the USA:
  • Percent of adults aged 20 and over with obesity: 39.8%
  • Percent of adults aged 20 and over with overweight, including obesity: 71.6%
Also this is neat, there's an island known as Nauru that is the fattest "country" in the world:
The island is incredibly overweight, with more than 70 per cent of the population categorised as obese. 97 per cent of men and 93 per cent of women need to lose weight.

Unsurprisingly, then, Nauru has the highest rates of type 2 diabetes in the world, with more than 40 per cent of the population affected. That’s not far off every other person. With the huge rates of diabetes comes out-of-control incidences of heart disease and kidney disease.

Wow, America is being way shown up. Thankfully Halo Top is helping us achieve our dream of being #1.
 
Also this is neat, there's an island known as Nauru that is the fattest "country" in the world:

> But the phosphate reserves were finite, and towards the end of the 20th Century they were running out. By 2006, they were exhausted. Nauru was left as an environmental wasteland, with no consistent source of income.
...
> For nearly a century, foreign strip-mining companies had harvested Nauru’s resources during the years of colonial dominance.
...
> Years of phosphate mining – largely by foreign companies with colonial aspirations – has destroyed a lot of the land. It’s not even habitable for humans, let alone capable of growing food.
...
> Nauru appealed to the International Court of Justice to compensate for the damage from almost a century of phosphate strip-mining by foreign companies. They were successful, in part: Australia offered to pay $2.6 million annually for 20 years; and New Zealand and the UK made of one-off payments of $12 million each.

Tragic, right? Fooking colonialists! Except, previously on My 6000 Pound Life:

> Hammer DeRoburt was the founding president, and in 1967 he purchased the assets of the British Phosphate Commissioners, and passed control to the locally owned Nauru Phosphate Corporation in 1970. Through the money made from selling off phosphate, Nauru became the second richest country in the world per capita, and had among the highest standards of living in the Third World.

> Not a lot of thought was given to Nauru’s long-term economic future. People quit their jobs and bought cars, preferring to bask in the prosperity of the moment. According to one resident: “Hardly anyone thought of investing the money. Dollar notes were even used as toilet paper. It was like every day was party day.” Nauru’s phosphate industry was booming, and its residents had more money than they knew what to do with.

--------
Like, motherfuckers what? You as a people effectively sold your island to be turned into a wasteland, and you had a whole generation to move elsewhere and be absurdly rich. Not just a bunch of traitors (see: Russia) leaving everyone else to die at 25 in a poisoned wasteland, all of you fat fucks. Shame about the nature, but you could've bought several islands without phosphates and established preserves there. You could've been a cabal of ethnic billionnaires to rival Trump's Chosen.

> Nauruans see obesity as a sign of wealth, an indication that you don’t need to work physically to get by. In a society that, until fairly recently, relied heavily on the physical labour of its inhabitants, a sedentary lifestyle is something admirable, something to which one should aspire.

Die, fatties. Apathetic bloody planet island, I've no sympathy at all.
 
> Nauruans see obesity as a sign of wealth, an indication that you don’t need to work physically to get by. In a society that, until fairly recently, relied heavily on the physical labour of its inhabitants, a sedentary lifestyle is something admirable, something to which one should aspire.

Honestly I really wonder if this is accurate. If 95% of your population is fat, then isn't it the tendency for people to start wanting what is not common or what they don't have, which is thinness? Seeing obesity as a sign of wealth is not something that countries do once they make a certain amount of money. It turns into the opposite: usually rich people are thin, and people idolize that instead.
 
Back