The problem is that there will always be conflict between lesbian/gnc/detrans/autistic women (who I would say as a group make up a disproportionate amount of feminist groups and always have) and normative feminine heterosexual women, inasmuch as the latter can’t help themselves from trying to enforce gender roles. I’ve seen posts from straight mothers talking about their 12 year old daughters trooning out and it’s clear that the mothers do not understand or respect a lack of interest in participation in gender conforming behavior. This is also why most so called ‘terfs’ are not radfems, because true radfems do not support performing feminine behavior like wearing makeup. I’ve been on their sites so I know.
While I agree to a certain extent, I just want to point out that radfems typically don't have any
problem with women choosing to engage in practices like wearing makeup, they just acknowledge that it is due to societal expectations and gender roles and that it isn't feminist activism. In other words, they reject that whole liberal feminism "eyeliner so sharp it could kill a man" BS. A lot of women, especially straight women who are very invested in performing/adhering to gender roles, take offense to this and think it's an insult, but it's just a statement of fact - it's not pro-feminism or "empowering" for women to perform restrictive, oppressive gender roles. That doesn't mean you can never do it, or that it's wrong to do it, but you can't do it and pretend you're doing something amazingly feminist.
I think a lot of straight feminists can be very...
sensitive about this sort of thing. Not all of them (#notallstraightfeminists?). But I have noticed a significant amount of straight feminists are very insecure because they feel the need to perform gender roles in the course of engaging in heterosexual dating norms (ie to attract straight men), but they also want to feel like "good feminists" whose actions are benefiting all women. (This is influenced by liberal feminism, of course, because libfeminism is intensely individualistic and focuses on the individual actions of individual women and the idea that anything a woman does, so long as it makes her "feel good" (whatever that means) is feminist activism and "empowering".)
Basically what radfems are saying is, "You're free to wear makeup, but we don't believe it is empowering or liberating for women to do it, and we acknowledge that the reason women feel the need to wear makeup is due to societal gender roles that are pushed on women from birth," but what the gender-conforming straight women are hearing is "You can't wear makeup, you're a disgrace to all women and you're not a feminist if you wear makeup" which is... not what anyone is saying.