Militant Vegans - MEAT IS MURDER, YOU BLOODMOUTHS

[Cosmos]

So, by the year 2015, we're all probably encountered a vegan at some point, either online or in real life. If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting one, vegans are people who are basically extreme vegetarians; whereas vegetarians only abstain from meat and sometimes fish, vegans don't eat any animal products whatsoever. No eggs, no dairy products, no broth, and some of them don't even eat honey. Now, there are plenty of awesome vegans out there who chose to not eat animal products for a variety of reasons (usually ethical, but sometimes dietary) but understand that most people don't want to do that; they're accepting of other people's life choices and only want for their own to be respected as well.

Those aren't the vegans we'll be talking about in this thread.

Over the past few years, militant vegans are becoming more and more of a presence. They compare eating meat to murdering someone, say that the ongoing farming of animals is comparable to the Holocaust (granted, I think that animal welfare needs to be vastly improved, but seriously?), argue that the human body evolved on a 100% plant-based diet so we're all herbivores (Incoming biology lesson: no, we're omnivores), call people who eat meat "bloodmouths," and insist that tolerating the fact that people eat meat is like tolerating slavery or child murder. Of course, these people have migrated to Tumblr, the Mecca of drama queens and people who have the innate need to get offended and overreact to everything humanely possible. Don't know whether or not someone is a vegan? Don't worry, they'll either tell you as soon as possible or the word "vegan" will be somewhere in their username. Usually it's both!

So sit back, relax, and maybe even post pictures of your favorite vegan freakouts! I'll start:

"Before arguing with vegans, please make sure you know that we're 100% right about everything and nothing about our beliefs is debatable, kthx"

I don't know about you guys, but whenever I eat meat, I always feel the need to bitch about vegans even when there are none in the vicinity. I guess that's just how irrational and evil us bloodmouths are.

I actually laughed at loud at this one because it implies that I'd murder and eat my dog, who's been my constant companion for 12 years and who I literally grew up with, the second I got hungry instead of eating a bowl of cereal like a functional human being

A world without cheese is a nightmare dystopia I never want to find myself in.

So every time I enjoy a cheeseburger, I'm basically cannibalizing my grandma?

"How dare you ask me to not hound you about your dietary choices!!!"

For the record, I think that the way most livestock is treated is deplorable and that animal abuse is one of the worst things in the world (just like all forms of abuse), but there's a huge fucking difference between "Let's reform the meat industry and make sure that livestock is treated as humanely as possible" and "Let's release all of the cows, chickens, pigs, sheep, and every other animal and everyone who thinks that we shouldn't is a sociopath who advocates genocide and slavery."

And finally, to end with the words of the great Ron Swanson on why you should never treat these people as anything other than a joke:

 

[Meowthkip]

So every time I enjoy a cheeseburger, I'm basically cannibalizing my grandma?

Meat is murder, you know.

Hi, @CWCissey

 

[Red]

Thank you for making this topic. I used to get a lot of shit from them during my tumblr days-- I ran a nature blog and would often post pictures of hunting or taxidermy and there was always a shitstorm. My favorite was when I posted photos of meat being prepared to be fed to my dog, and I was bombarded by radveegs (as they're called) for SLAUGHTERING INNOCENT ANIMALS and that DOGS CAN BE PERFECTLY HAPPY VEGAN AND I'M A MONSTER. (hint: they can't)
Fucknovegans is a great tumblr blog that archives their stupidity.

Oddly enough, I never got shit for putting live insects into a blender to make gel food for my fish. Really shows what "equality" means to these guys.

 

[characterlimit]

I for one love the label "bloodmouth" and will happily claim it as my own. Its so... metal.

 

[Cosmos]

I for one love the label "bloodmouth" and will happily claim it as my own. Its so... metal.

Vegans have a tendency to make up some really metal shit unintentionally. Like this:

 

[characterlimit]

Vegans have a tendency to make up some really metal shit unintentionally. Like this:

Isn't it great? Vegans are my first resource for when I need to feel powerful and manly. You know, like a carnist bloodmouth with a stomach like a graveyard, full of cow and pig carcasses.

 

[Rilakkuma]

Ironically, one of the best ways to make people want to go vegan is to present all the legitimate health benefits it could offer you instead of being a self-righteous prick on the internet.

 

[Yaks]

Ironically, one of the best ways to make people want to go vegan is to present all the legitimate health benefits it could offer you instead of being a self-righteous prick on the internet.

That would take having common sense and a lacking of unwarranted self-importance.

 

[Mourning Dove]

I have to wonder, are these people not eating animal products because they actually care for animals, or are they just wanting to inflate their sense of righteousness and self-importance?

 

[x.eight.six.systems]

Vegans have a tendency to make up some really metal shit unintentionally. Like this:

If someone describes the double burger that makes me want to eat it.

 

[fishercat]

I have to wonder, are these people not eating animal products because they actually care for animals, or are they just wanting to inflate their sense of righteousness and self-importance?

Yes.

 

[x.eight.six.systems]

In Australia we have a party that these kinds of Vegans in called The Green Party who wants to ban any kind of hunting, sports shooting and firearms in general because they care about the animals despite that if we didn't have hunting Australian farm land would be eroded due to invasive species such as rabbits killing srubs, trees and depleting native animals of food.

 

[D.Angus]

I forgot where I found this video, but it shows how crazy these people can be:

Spoiler

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Can't find any bands named Bloodmouth Stomach Graveyard. We could make it, gang.

I've heard of psychotic vegans trying to raise their kids vegan from birth, resulting in malnourished infants.

 

[Cosmos]

I've heard of psychotic vegans trying to raise their kids vegan from birth, resulting in malnourished infants.

That actually brings up another rather sad topic...

Some vegans believe that they can force a vegan diet on dogs and cats. In reality, cats are carnivores and dogs are omnivores that need meat to be healthy. Cats actually need meat so much they will literally go blind if they're not given any because they're incapable of synthesising taurine and need to obtain it from animal products. If a cat doesn’t get enough taurine its retinas deteriorate and it will become permanently blind.

That doesn't stop some people from insisting that cats are perfectly fine eating broccoli though:

(source)

I'd go into dogs but I have to run somewhere. But I'll leave this: It's one thing to have your own diet, but enforcing your ideals onto an animal that literally needs meat to survive because that's how nature designed them is beyond deplorable.

 

[TheProdigalStunna]

That actually brings up another rather sad topic...

Some vegans believe that they can force a vegan diet on dogs and cats. In reality, cats are carnivores and dogs are omnivores that need meat to be healthy. Cats actually need meat so much they will literally go blind if they're not given any because they're incapable of synthesising taurine and need to obtain it from animal products. If a cat doesn’t get enough taurine its retinas deteriorate and it will become permanently blind.

That doesn't stop some people from insisting that cats are perfectly fine eating broccoli though:

(source)

I'd go into dogs but I have to run somewhere. But I'll leave this: It's one thing to have your own diet, but enforcing your ideals onto an animal that literally needs meat to survive because that's how nature designed them is beyond deplorable.

Poor Zebulon

 

[Johnny Bravo]

Lemme take a shot at this...

1. Sure I guess, assuming there are no animal products in vitamin supplements and money is no object.
2. Humans actually have a ton in common with lions! We're both social animals, we care for our young as a community, we're mammals, our species both originated in Africa... What I'm saying here is that if you had to go with a big cat the lion is probably the species we have the most in common with.
3. Wh... what...? No, that's false. Canines may not be used for tearing meat but they are used for grabbing onto live prey. They are definitively a carnivore trait. (SCIENCE EDIT: Herbivores with fangs (also known as tusks) use them for digging up roots. Fangs are also one of the traits of certain tournament species, where males compete for females through combat. However, they are most commonly found in meat eaters.)(SCIENCE EDIT 2: And in the case of humans our canines are a remnant of our past, as many primates use their fangs in fights and competition for mates. They were always used for fighting and never for eating because, you see, primates use these things called "tools" to cut meat and capture prey. Yes, even chimps.)
4. I think that's pretty simple.
5. Yes, but can you?
6. Citations needed.
7. I suppose not in the modern world where we have vitamin supplements (are you sure no animal products were used in those?) but most of the 7 billion people on this planet still get their protein from meat and eggs.
8. If you mean that herbivorous animals, such as deer, will overpopulate an area devoid of natural predators and starve themselves to death, that's absolutely true.
9. I don't even know what that means but... okay.
10. Wow, we're up to ten? Also lol, "cheese is addictive." On the other hand there are a lot of plants that are scientifically known to be addictive, such as tobacco.
11.
12. If there was no such thing as vegan we wouldn't be debating you. But just so you know crop farming does lead to millions of animal deaths per year (mostly mice) and loss of habitat, so there is that. Unless you grow your own vegetables you're still part of the machine. Hell, I'll bet there are a dozen ways you've inadvertently profited off of the deaths of animals that don't even involve food. If this is what you meant by "there's no such thing as vegan" then well... yeah. If you take the definition that far, there really isn't.
13. The Disney corporation disagrees.
14. Only if the "other" is a person.
15. Not in the third world you dumbshit. Even if we only focus on the first world, what about people who live on food stamps? How are they going to afford your incredibly specific diet?

@Red Fun fact: Dogs are actually classified as omnivores! I don't know if a dog could really "survive" on a vegan diet, but that's probably where the confusion comes from. This is in contrast to cats which are obligate carnivores.

 

[AnOminous]

"Before arguing with vegans, make sure you understand you're totally wrong based on a bunch of shit I just made up."

Umm. . .yeah.

 

[HypeBeast]

There's this youtube girl called Freelee the banana girl and she's dumb as hell, she was trying to start shit with the nice blogilates girl (she's a pilates instructor on youtube) because she has recipes that include eggs in them. I don't have a problem with people eating whatever they want and going on diets but I really dislike people that are mouthy about what other people are eating.

 

[Arctic]

Can't find any bands named Bloodmouth Stomach Graveyard. We could make it, gang.

There is actually a vegan death metal band called Cattle Decapitation which sings about factory farming and the destruction of the environment.