Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[JambledUpWords]

 

[Barbarella]

As I recall, the Nylon shoot also went poorly. That was the one in the ocean, yeah? The article was kinder than it should have been, but they did describe how she couldn’t balance in the foot of ocean they had her in, and how she complained the entire shoot. They went on to talk about how Tess apologized when they sat down to interview her, but she still made excuses about her day and somehow it became about insecurities making her upset when she’s not perfect, or some BS. They told the truth About her performance but skewed it in a nicer light than many would.

The truth is deathfats can’t stand in water as their center of balance changes when fat floats and sand disappears under their feet, etc. she also didn’t like waves splashing her eyes and hair.

I’ve heard many stories of models shooting in uncomfortable conditions: bathing suits in ice cold weather or coats in the heat or perching on rocks in uncomfortable positions and places for hours yet they are professionals and do it without complaint. Not Tess, she apparently bitched being in a few inches of water and not being able to stand so much that even she knew she had to say something afterwards.

That was one of her last jobs, I think. She’d been hard to work with and combative her entire career and everybody had enough.

She might think she’s a pretty face still, but she isn’t. There is a naturalness to true beauty which Tess maybe had and certainly would have if she’d been thinner. But now she looks like all those European twinks who have spent thousands on fillers and surgeries to look like Barbie, an alien, or an elf or whatever weird look they are going for. They go on Botched, not because they feel botched (tho they are) but because they have a crush on one of the doctors. So they say they want implants in their head to use as a bumpit or a nose so thin you can’t breath out of it. They get their 15 minutes, the doctors always say no.

Tess’s career ended long ago because of her personality, but the damage she’d done to her face put the nail in the (certainly large coffin. Even if they wanted a 5x fat, that door is closed.

 

[bloomingcactus]

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WTF is wrong with her lips? Is she going outside the natural boundaries to make them look bigger?

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WTF are these? Great way to showcase someone's artistic work.

Oh God! Besides that side splittingly hilarious Style(?) Magazine shoot where they just said "fuck it" and draped the dress around her neck, the H&M one comes damn close for one of my favorite fails ever. Didn't H&M have something entirely different they had in mind for the shoot? I can't remember.

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Is there something odd going on with her cleavage? It looks wrong.

She looks like a shit emoji in this pose.

 

[Angry New Ager]

WTF is wrong with her lips? Is she going outside the natural boundaries to make them look bigger?

WTF are these? Great way to showcase someone's artistic work.

Is there something odd going on with her cleavage? It looks wrong.

It's fat; that's what's wrong with her cleavage.

Yeah, she's probably also overfiltered her chest so it's too smooth, but the real problem with any photo of her will always come down to one thing: FAT.

And yes, she does overline her over-filled lips to make them look bigger. It's one of those bad makeup tricks you're not supposed to do because it's ugly and obvious, but in all her years of modeling she's never really learned to apply makeup worth a damn, so I'm not surprised.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

Oh God! Besides that side splittingly hilarious Style(?) Magazine shoot where they just said "fuck it" and draped the dress around her neck, the H&M one comes damn close for one of my favorite fails ever. Didn't H&M have something entirely different they had in mind for the shoot? I can't remember.

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Ah the red pyjamas! They had to run those up on the spot because none of the planned clothes fit her. Tess then bragged H&M made her 'couture' because obviously she deserves such special attention. Leaving aside the fact that H&M is 100% high street ready to wear and there was literally no point in having her in an ad wearing so something they didn't even sell. She ended up in the ad for 1 second lookibg like a giant red box as the token heifer to show the brand's alleged respect for all sizes.

I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when tbe stylists discovered Tess fit itnto none of the clothes they pulled for her. I bet words were said, and not nice ones either. Shows the nonsense of having a fat, non-standard sized "model' anyway. H&M clothes sizes are notoriously all over the place as it is. The chances of someone of Tess's size and shape fitting into even her pretended size and looking decent were slim to begin with.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

Hey Tess! Hey!

Racism: the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another.

Don't like that definition? Let's try these from another dictionary.

Racism:
1: a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race
2a: a doctrine or political program based on the assumption of racism and designed to execute its principles
b: a political or social system founded on racism
3: racial prejudice or discrimination

Hey, look at that!! Nothing about having to target marginalized or minority persons!

So yes, you dumb cuntrocket, white people /can/ experience racism.

I think the lip filler has migrated to the internals of her skull and has replaced what little of her brain could be expected to produce thought.

Edit: The Diet Coke must have infested my brain, because suddenly I can't type.

 

[Constellationzero]

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Ahh... so Bowie needs Jolene to teach him how to wipe his mom's ass. Gotcha.

 

[SnarkySperg]

Is there something odd going on with her cleavage? It looks wrong.

To me, it looks like it's not even actual cleavage. Like they took a bunch of fat from her upper chest and made it into cleavage.

 

[Constellationzero]

They probably taped it with duct tape or something to get her udders to fit in Omar's tent so they could shoot...whatever that was for H&M.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[Barbarella]

Nope, not reading that. Tess, take your break and eat a few sheet cakes already.

 

[SnarkySperg]

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I skimmed it.

TL;DR "why are the HAES crowd getting behind 'amplifying melanated voices' while also not replacing white speakers with black ones?'

Tess has to be dumber than a box of rocks to not understand the irony of her posting this. Like, seriously. She has so fucking little self-awareness that this is SO CLEARLY in reference to her and her ilk, but she's acting like she's so smart for sharing this.

 

[lamp shade]

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Her breaks never last more than a day and even during that day she’s still posting stories. Who is she trying to fool? She won’t risk fading away even more and she knows the only way she’s staying afloat at all is because of social media.

 

[JambledUpWords]

You were right @lamp shade, right after she said she was taking a break, she posted this:

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Fuck that, I'm going shopping on the 7th!

 

[SnarkySperg]

You were right @lamp shade, right after she said she was taking a break, she posted this:
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She doesn't understand what the economy is does she?

Yes, let's worry about ruining the economy right after COVID caused a lot of issues and possibly cause MORE people to lose their jobs because racism exists. News flash, Tess: Most of the people who will suffer for this are upstanding citizens. Some may be black.

Imagine bragging about wanting to crash the economy.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

Back in February, Tess did a shoot for the Eff Your Beauty Standards collaboration with online retailer Fashion to Figure. FTF is not unknown in fat clothing circles, having collaborated with other popular or celebrity fats AND non fat Gabrielle Union. Most of what she showed in her IG stories that day were items emblazoned with EYBS in rainbow fonts. THIS is Tess and one of the models she hired(gotta be FULLY inclusive!) and the model is wearing one of the items being sold. As is Tess, and if you look closely at the shirt Tess is wearing, it is her own fucking face.

 

[Angry New Ager]

You were right @lamp shade, right after she said she was taking a break, she posted this:
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So--what if I wanted to shop at a black-owned business on the 7th--a business that was finally open on that day after months of being shut down, happy to have customers again, and not participating in the "Economic Blackout" because they've already been pounded so hard by the Covid-19 lockdown? What if I wanted to celebrate their survival and encourage their continued existence by patronizing them, and I just happened to do that on the 7th?

Ah, fuck it, the answer's self-evident. I'm a racist Karen, the business owners are Uncle Toms, and we're all in need of re-education.

 

[Barbarella]

Ooohhhh, I get it! They are calling it a blackout because some people’s skin is black. Clever!

So we won’t shop, and then your local grocery store, Target, Costco, Nordstrom, JC Penny, Shell oil, Amazon will....uh....do what now?

Oh right! They’ll know we are allies! That’s very important, that the CEO of Target knows there are people who support BLM. I am sure they have never considered this idea.

I have a better one. I’ve been holding off on buying a new handbag I’ve been lusting over, since with Covid I hardly leave the house. But on July 7th, maybe instead of the canvas logo I’d planned, I’ll choose black leather to show my support.

Tess would never have posted that if it was a pizza blackout.

 

[clusterfuckk]

Black trans disabled autistic Muslim undocumented sex workers.

At which point Tess will tell us she's 'neurodiverse' as well as 'queer' and will hopefully tag Louis Farrakhan as well as the usual fugly weirdo 'models' and epic high jinks will ensue.

Honestly this is what is gonna finally destroy humanity. The mayans had it wrong it’s gonna be a firestorm of SJWs and woke culture attacking each other and burning down businesses that exhibit some sort of ‘ism.

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‘just a pretty face’? How about ‘not a pretty face’

You were right @lamp shade, right after she said she was taking a break, she posted this:
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Ok so black people are so marginalized and oppressed but they can spend that much money? That seems like a lot of spending from a group who doesn’t have the same opportunities as the white man.