"Grooming is a manipulative process used by a sexual (or other) predator for the purpose of creating a sense of trust with a targeted person prior to the act of actual victimization. People of all ages can be groomed.
Here is a list of common grooming tactics used by predators prior to actually abusing their victims:
1. They pretend to be someone and something they’re not. They pretend to be someone you can trust, so you put your guard down. They do this in a variety of ways, as will be described next.
2. They are very charming and present themselves as people who are the answer to all your needs. They seem to be “better than life.” This is because they aren’t really who they are portraying. Their charm is merely a ploy and involves superficial connecting at best.
3. They appear to be very empathic – mirroring you and showing a great amount of “seeing’ you and validating your felt needs and experiences. If the groomer is a an adult and the victim is a child, the abuser will put himself at the child’s level and act as if he really “gets” the child and meets him where he’s at.
4. Groomers act very innocuous and light-hearted. They don’t seem heavy, dark, or full of some deep, hidden secret. Victims do not suspect that he/she is anything but easy to be with.
5. They pretend to be your protector, acting outraged if anything bad happens to you and promising to protect you from all evil (how ironic.)"
"
Why do victims put up with the abusive behavior?
For the following reasons:
-In the beginning stages of grooming, if the perpetrator is an adult, the target of the grooming has become completely smitten initially, wondering, “Why hasn’t he/she been taken by someone else yet?” “Why is this awesome guy/gal still available?”
-Victims start filling in the unknown blanks by explaining the crazy or abusive behaviors away.
-Victims start living in a state of shock. They are numb and don’t experience their emotions. This is protective because numbness protects people from pain; numbness is a psychological analgesic.
-Victims believe they’re the problem. The groomer is such a master-propagandist, he/she has groomed the victim to believe he/she (the victim) is the problem.
-Victims take responsibility for causing the abuse.
-Victims assume they are the only ones being victimized.
-Victims are ashamed that it is happening and just pretend that everything is fine.
The main thing to understand about perpetrators of abuse, is that they somehow have a sixth sense and seem to know how to exploit the weaknesses of their victims. They somehow tailor make their tactics to fit the vulnerabilities of their targets." -
Psychcentral
"Child grooming is the deliberate act of establishing an emotional bond with a child, to lower the child's resistance. Child grooming can result in the minor falling victim to physical, sexual and emotional abuse, or specifically, to manipulate children into participating in slave labor, prostitution, and/or the production of child pornography.
Adult grooming is correspondent to child grooming and applies to any situation where an adult is primed to allow him or herself to be exploited or abused. While it is a common assumption that grooming is only practiced on the very young, identical emotional and psychological processes are commonly used to abuse or exploit adults the elderly, and those with compromised mental facilities.
An predator will identify and engage a victim and work to gain the target’s trust, break down defenses, and manipulate the victim until they get whatever it is they are after. Overt attention, verbal seduction (flattery / ego stroking), recruitment, physical isolation, charm, gift-giving, normalizing, gaslighting, secrecy, and threats are all hallmarks of grooming."
"Who are the victims of grooming? Men. Women. Children. Young adults. The middle-aged. The elderly. The lonely and the emotionally compromised. Those whose defenses are down. Anyone with soft boundaries. In short: There is no prototypical victim. Almost anyone can be vulnerable to grooming. Predators are practiced, and extremely good at what they do. Those who are not ’t, tend to get caught. Those who get caught, tend to learn from their mistakes, and refine their techniques. You don’t have to be especially gullible to fall victim to grooming, but if you learn the signs, you can successfully identify a potential abuser, and avoid exploitation." -
OutOfTheFog
"Grooming is the predatory act of maneuvering another individual into a position that makes them more isolated, dependent, likely to trust, and more vulnerable to abusive behavior. The goal is to prepare the other person for abuse (for example sexual or financial) at a later time. The first step the groomer takes is to establish a friendship and trust.
Adult grooming is correspondent to child grooming and applies to any situation where an adult is primed to allow him or herself to be exploited or abused. It happens online and in real life." -
MOBEIG
"Grooming is a tactic of overcoming the survivor's defenses by slowly desensitizing his or her natural reaction to abusive behaviors. The most commonly recognized context is when pedophiles use it on children and their parents, but the technique is also used in other contexts, such as confidence scams or commercial sex work.
Grooming works by mixing positive behaviors with elements of abuse. At the beginning, all behaviors are positive. Slowly, abusive elements are added in amounts that surprise the survivor to an extent, but do not push alarm to a high level. Overtime, the inappropriate comes to feel normal.
Because the primary aggressor's real goal isn't understood by the survivor, he or she often misses the harmful implication and dismisses the internal signals of alarm that do arise."
"It is not hard for the reader to add steps to this chain described above. Eventually, the primary aggressor's intentions become clear to the survival, but by that time, there is considerable ensnarement. The survivor may also be disarmed by being told inappropriate things are part of of a 'game', 'test,' 'project, 'or 'favor,' which suspends some self-protective reflexes and reactions.
Often, the first violations are boundary issues but not physical violations. The abusive activity might consist in describing a fantasy, or telling a story supposedly about what someone else has done. If there is a negative reaction, the primary aggressor can shift gears and deny he has the same interest or even feign disapproval. In the same vein, pornography may be introduced.
But desensitization works hand in hand with the illusion of a special relationship. This is produced by a mix of positive reinforcements, simulated affection, and possibly trauma bonding. Frequently, the primary aggressor will involve the survivor in some petty crime or violation of social norms. This is because breaking taboos together 1) produces excitement involuntarily (this has nothing to do with morality), 2) installs the primary aggressor as the only one the survivor can be honest with, and 3) instills the false belief that it is too late to end it. By the end, shame and secrecy entraps the survivor in much deeper way than if she or he had been assaulted all at once." -
AbuseandRelationships.org
This is why I called Gabe a bum. If you're taking proper care of these kids, you're spending at least a grand in a month between food, diapers, & clothing. Kids grow quickly and even if you're buying shitty threads from Walmart, it's STILL not cheap to clothe 2 kids. Factoring in that Damian (most likely) has a form of epilepsy and will probably have to start medication for it once he gets older as well as seeing a neurologist regularly to monitor his development, the costs just keep going up. Hell, this doesn't even factor in daycare, babysitters, school, extracurricular activities, pediatricians for when they get sick, vaccinations, & toys. 
