Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

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OBAMATRON said:
I searched for this guy and didn't find anything. Needless to say, it's moffin time!
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I stand in awe at the number of figurines this guy has, and the sheer number of hours he has filmed of himself opening them.
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Of course he also has dozens of my little pony toys. Also note the strange looks on his face - the autism is strong with this one.

Ok it's my turn: Look at these sexy ladies:
Note the youtube icon.
 
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I certainly hope this guy hasn't been posted before, but I would like to introduce people to a very...interesting person, JLink. JLink is a very odd man who has over a THOUSAND videos, yet not even a hundred subscribers. Well, what is this guy doing wrong? Why isn't he just internet famous? What does he even do in his thousand videos?

Well, some are "video game reviews", where he rambles a word salad for less than a minute on a game and gives it some kind of arbitrary score. You might replay these 5 times and still not understand anything he's trying to say, seriously.

Some are "dance videos", usually set to some video game song where he just spins around and flaps his arms. If you have seen one, you have seen them all. This is all he knows how to do when he "dances".

Given he gets less than 5 views per video (who would subscribe to him to be spammed with 50+ videos of nonsense a day?), he reacts pretty badly to any criticism, to the point of making angry videos where he insults some other losers poking fun at him by saying they don't have "energy". To translate, he is insinuating he can dance faster and better than them, so therefore, he is superior. The downside is that one hint of negativity can cause him to crash into a slumber, bawwleeting all his videos 5evr. But never fear, he desperately wants the 1 million views he deserves, so he's always back in a week.

But to top this off, and in case the links all bored you, here is one (of many) of his rage quit videos that were deleted but righteously preserved. Wait for the minute mark...it is worth it.

 
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Principessa said:
Apparently one of those hambeasts is dying and the other one is begging for money.
I wish comments weren't disabled on their videos.
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I feel like it's so rare to see someone with so much fat that it's slowly enveloping their eyes.

Wait a minute... I've seen this before.

I AM A GREAT SOFT JELLY THING

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I HAVE NO MOUTH... and I must eat.
 
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My favorite lolcow to keep tabs on is Kevin Brors. He writes songs on youtube and genuinely thinks he is good. Here is one of my favorites;


He made another song about people who don't support him when he makes music but I can't find it anymore. He might have taken it down, but since he puts out a constant stream of shitty content it might just have gotten buried.

All of his "music videos" are awkward to watch as he just talks as he stairs into the camera with some autistic arm flails thrown in sometimes.


Also;
 
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TheLurk said:
My favorite lolcow to keep tabs on is Kevin Brors. He writes songs on youtube and genuinely thinks he is good. Here is one of my favorites;


He made another song about people who don't support him when he makes music but I can't find it anymore. He might have taken it down, but since he puts out a constant stream of shitty content it might just have gotten buried.

All of his "music videos" are awkward to watch as he just talks as he stairs into the camera with some autistic arm flails thrown in sometimes.


Also;
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@Kirby is that you?
 
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Principessa said:
Apparently one of those hambeasts is dying and the other one is begging for money.
I wish comments weren't disabled on their videos.
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blobfish.jpg

No wonder one is dying both look like piles of flesh, either way it's still sort of sad that they have to beg for money. There's no way either of them could work or even stand up for more than 30 mins.

@thejumpingdwarf
No? Just found this guy while cow hunting, I thought he was obscure enough that no one found him yet. Damn you guys are good at rounding them up.
 
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TheLurk said:
My favorite lolcow to keep tabs on is Kevin Brors. He writes songs on youtube and genuinely thinks he is good. Here is one of my favorites;


He made another song about people who don't support him when he makes music but I can't find it anymore. He might have taken it down, but since he puts out a constant stream of shitty content it might just have gotten buried.

All of his "music videos" are awkward to watch as he just talks as he stairs into the camera with some autistic arm flails thrown in sometimes.


Also;
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THIS GUY GETS IT

Just my opinion, I wish Kevin was more than just an obscure lolcow. There is so much potential here. He deserves better.

 
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Anime, Toonami, WWE? Gohan6425 is your man.


Had this guy on a wrestling forum I'm admin of for a while and he was absolutely hilarious. Still real to him dammit!
 
My favorite artist!
Please note that she has been at this for like 6 years and has no improved an inch
Also she's been trying to make an animated series about really anatomically broken sparkle raptors for like 5 years. Also, one of the characters is a Yugioh character.
As a dinosaur.
Also she has a wiki for the series she will never make
http://thatcrazydude.wikia.com/wiki/Team_Raptor_Adventures_Wiki
 
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Tommy Sotomayor

Quote from ED - "Tommy Sotomayor (Thomas Jerome Harris) is not your average YouTube ranter; he is a black gentleman who contrary to his dark skin and boisterous nature hates niggas, with a keen and focus eye towards black women.

According to the Book of Sotomayor, "black women are a bunch of evil, child abusing, lazy, agressive cunts who are too obsessed with their hair."

Some argue that the Tommy we know and love, was shaped through the greedy hands of his ex-wife and a couple of encounters with nasty black pussy.This would be grossly inaccurate as it implies there is good black pussy. Still others think he is a Klansman born in the wrong body. The more likely of scenarios is that one too many rejections carved into the fragile bones of the True Black Jesus, thus leaving him thoroughly embittered towards blacks in general.

Like rape in an elevator, Tommy is right on so many levels, and watching him is entertaining as hell."

 
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Kirby said:
Tommy Sotomayor

Quote from ED - "Tommy Sotomayor (Thomas Jerome Harris) is not your average YouTube ranter; he is a black gentleman who contrary to his dark skin and boisterous nature hates niggas, with a keen and focus eye towards black women.

According to the Book of Sotomayor, "black women are a bunch of evil, child abusing, lazy, agressive cunts who are too obsessed with their hair.

Some argue that the Tommy we know and love, was shaped through the greedy hands of his ex-wife and a couple of encounters with nasty black pussy.This would be grossly inaccurate as it implies there is good black pussy. Still others think he is a Klansman born in the wrong body. The more likely of scenarios is that one too many rejections carved into the fragile bones of the True Black Jesus, thus leaving him thoroughly embittered towards blacks in general.

Like rape in an elevator, Tommy is right on so many levels, and watching him is entertaining as hell."

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I think you found the real life Uncle Ruckus.
 
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Frank Rizzo said:
I've been struggling to remember the name of an Obscure LOLCow that I remember seeing, if any of you could possibly help

All I remember was that he was this older (probably mid 50's) dude who was married and had grown kids....but he would constantly talk about how he was meant to be with Selena Gomez. How Selena had come to him in dreams and told him when she turned 18, she would come to him and they'd get married.

He had a Youtube channel, and most of his videos were basically him talking about how much he loved Selena, and the various dreams he had where Selena was all "Yep, I'm totally going to be with you as soon as I turn 18....". From what I remember, his family and youtube commenters on his videos basically tried very nicely (as nice as one can anyway) to tell him that he might not have all of his crayons in a box and should seek counseling, but his response was always "You're just trying to deny the true love me and Selena have!"
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Jay Herrod? (shudder)
You may have already found him, but what the the hey...
 
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