If she isn't the world's filthiest virgin, she is pretty close to one.
Weight aside, her stories are the giveaway. There is always one element missing from her sex stories: sex.
I've heard people of both sexes relate actual, true sex stories. Often the stories are presented to be humorous, other times they are meant to be titillating. In either case, even in stories that are told in the politest of terms, there are little details that might actually refer to seduction, touching, actual sex...maybe it is just a witty aside, maybe just an observation, maybe just a complaint or appraisal. But there's something in the story that sounds like sex actually happened.
Not so with Clotso. She has a staggeringly infantile notion of sex. First and foremost, sex involves shitting and farting. Beyond that, there's little else about the act itself or even anything that would plausibly lead to the act itself. The mood and atmosphere she describes is always wtf-cartoonish in nature, not ones that would be conducive to any kind of sexual mood. Her stories tend to be little morality plays in which she plays the role of seductive temptress or merciful angel of the pity fuck. In both cases, she dispenses both sex and punishment, in scatological form, usually because the other party deserved it and because he was deficient in some way; appearance, personality, dick size, age, lack of home. Far more prominent than sex in her stories is the title of whatever dopey pop hit was playing.
My favorite sex story of hers was one of her most lowkey ones. She once told the story of how she was out clubbing in her wild clubbing days and she was dancing up a storm on the dance floor. At the opposite end of the dance floor was a superhot stud who was dancing with two hot babes who both seemed to be with him. Despite this stud's gorgeous ladies, somehow Clotso and he locked eyes. So Clotso, dancin' to the groove, slowly danced her way over to where he was dancing. When she finally got there, never having lost eye contact, they danced together and then made a beeline for her car to fuck up a storm. When they got inside the car, she let out a stink bomb of a fart that choked the bastard out, and he left to return to the babes he had abandoned.
If anyone believes this kind of shitty low-grade teen drama junk, which would be physically impossible for the clumsy, klutzy oaf anyway, then they probably don't understand much about how sex, clubbing, or hookups work either.
In her infamous threesome story, I am willing to bet that one one weird night she might have gotten it into her head to answer a couple's ad (but even there, I doubt it because she is so terrified to meet new people). I can see her taking the Uber, and I can see her clutching a bottle of booze. I am willing to bet they rejected her on the doorstep. And the rest is pure, shit-filled fantasy.
I've always maintained that at most, she may have fucked about a dozen times, and most of those times might not have even involved full penetration. I am also pretty sure that the number of sex partners she has had can be counted on one hand with a finger or two chopped off. I have met plenty of people who have had sex in their lives, and none of them sound like Clotso.
One last favorite moment for today: I remember she was in the middle of a mukbang or something, and she was struggling to think of things to put on her channel. Suddenly, she exclaimed (I am paraphrasing), "Oh! I just remembered! I had a lot of sex partners in college! I had completely forgotten about that! I have lots more stories to tell!" Who "forgets" "lots" of "sex partners" in "college"? Even the most promiscuous people on the planet would remember college as a place they got a lot of sex, even if they can't recall faces or names... Nope, blocked out of her memory for years, and then it all came back.
Funny thing though, we haven't even heard one of these college sex stories yet. Just recycled versions of other bullshit stories.
She wasn't fucking any homeless guys for cheeseburgers. She's fucking scared of homeless guys. Just one more weird sex fantasy from someone who isn't really sure what sex is.