🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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Hello Shitty said:
Wow, it's really surprising seeing you talk about gay fan fiction with a grown adult. Usually you just stick to Shota. I'm glad to see that in at least a very small way you are growing as a person.
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I can't tell if you are Ralph or Gator? My money's on the Alligator Furfag tbh
 
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Hello Shitty said:
Wow, it's really surprising seeing you talk about gay fan fiction with a grown adult. Usually you just stick to Shota. I'm glad to see that in at least a very small way you are growing as a person.
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Hello Shitty said:
Weird I never said you were a pedophile. Are you saying that watching Shota makes you a pedophile? I find that very strange coming from a man who its public knowledge that he watches Shota.

You know ED is very common amongst pedophiles. Just something to think about.
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> "Ussually you just stick to Shota"
> "Wierd I never called you a pedophile"
Do u have a memory span of less than 5 minutes?
 
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KebabShopSauce said:
No. It'll have Dick Masterson, Dame Pesos and some of the guntguard nobodies. They'll cope for three hours while Ralph keeps repeating "MATT, NO!" over and over again. They will call Matt a pedophile at least 30 times while everybody fake laughs at each other. After Ralph is fully trashed he will then rant for 45 minutes about gay ops and say everyone on the Farms is a lying A-Log for calling him a groomer, which is an unacceptable accusation to make about someone. He will then launch into another rant about his girlfriend while calling several people (including Null) a pedophile, devoting at least 5 minutes to Null's penis. While this disaster is unfolding, PPP will be streaming on his own channel with Godwinson, Matt and maybe some others while drawing twice the viewers, this will make Ralph visibly angry and upset from the beginning of his stream.
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Don't forget the bots in the chat who only react/spam with the same 3 pepe emotes.
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Hello Shitty said:
You seem really upset that Ralph keeps mentioning your broken penis.
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I'm not sure why a man who is totally, 100% SMASHING THAT SWEET, EIGHTEEN-YEAR_OLD PUSSY and is TOTALLY NOT GAY, HE DIDN'T LIKE IT WHEN HE BENT OVER IN PRISON, GUYS continues to talk about the dick of another man, working or not.
 
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Based_Papa_John said:
"Ralph, I'm in love with you Ralph. You're an absolute Mensch, you are. An absolute Mensch." - Randbot, probably.
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The best part of having an aggressive defender in here making things look so desperate for Ralph, is that every single e-celeb who orbits Ralph has no choice but to be along for the ride. It's not just Ralph reading the fresh pages of this thread every day, but it's everybody who has to keep tabs on what Ralph is obsessing over. None of them can afford to accidentally say the wrong thing or make a joke that might set him off for being too close to what someone said in a post. This is wearing all of them down, and it's just fun for everybody else.
 
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Not to detract from Hello Shitty’s wet dream fantasies, but I have another prediction I’d like to run by kiwis: ER’s relation with Faith with last at least 6 months, possibly up to multiple years.

At this point it is well established that Ethan defines himself and how successful his life is in terms of income and pussy, bragging about “18 year old hot babe”, as some kind of chad achievement he’s managed to unlock. The entire conundrum with his barely legal gf has been covered so much here and on his twitter, that the gunt can no longer afford to lose her for the sake of his fragile ego. In his mind it would be like an admission to an ultimate defeat, his “chad” status will be revoked, and he could not call himself Little Dick anymore.

Of course, sooner or later Faith is bound realize the ugly truth about gunt being a disgusting drunk, unable to conceive a child (AKA 2 fat 2 fuck) with absolutely nothing of value to offer. So, to keep her from running away, ER will have to use all his manipulation powers he’s acquired over the years. The manipulation tactics will primarily consist of keeping Faith away from her family, and simultaneously crushing her self-esteem. It will start slowly with seemingly innocent “I see you’ve gained weight recently” and will eventually transform into full blown “Look what you made me do, bitch!”, while smashing her had against the wall. You know, the old-fashioned redneck way, just like Ronnie used to do with his mother.

That said, it’s still possible to break out of gunts spell early on, before her mind gets permanently damaged (it’s already pretty fucked up), but Marvellous Matthew will have to act quickly. I don’t want to spoil a possible season finale, but certain firearms might be involved.
 
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KebabShopSauce said:
No. It'll have Dick Masterson, Dame Pesos and some of the guntguard nobodies. They'll cope for three hours while Ralph keeps repeating "MATT, NO!" over and over again. They will call Matt a pedophile at least 30 times while everybody fake laughs at each other. After Ralph is fully trashed he will then rant for 45 minutes about gay ops and say everyone on the Farms is a lying A-Log for calling him a groomer, which is an unacceptable accusation to make about someone. He will then launch into another rant about his girlfriend while calling several people (including Null) a pedophile, devoting at least 5 minutes to Null's penis. While this disaster is unfolding, PPP will be streaming on his own channel with Godwinson, Matt and maybe some others while drawing twice the viewers, this will make Ralph visibly angry and upset from the beginning of his stream.
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As much as I enjoyed reading this scenario, I have to wonder if Ralph will skip any Mundane Matt festivities since PPP has destroyed him in viewership twice now. Matt going on PPP's stream the night of the boulderversary and doubling Ralph's viewership would be devastating for gunt & co. He'd start tearing up on camera if it happened.

A few days ago Ralph said that he probably didn't want to celebrate the boulderversary again so I really am expecting him to pussy out to avoid being shown up again.
 
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Vetti said:
As much as I enjoyed reading this scenario, I have to wonder if Ralph will skip any Mundane Matt festivities since PPP has destroyed him in viewership twice now. Matt going on PPP's stream the night of the boulderversary and doubling Ralph's viewership would be devastating for gunt & co. He'd start tearing up on camera if it happened.

A few days ago Ralph said that he probably didn't want to celebrate the boulderversary again so I really am expecting him to pussy out to avoid being shown up again.
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If he doesnt do it then matt and PPP should definitely stream. Ralph will end up drunkenly sniping it, it might be the thing that sets off the next pillstream.
 
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Hello Shitty said:
That just fucking screams incel atheist neckbeard who has spent WAY too much time devoted to gamergate and internet atheism.

This thread is just filled to the brim of jealous faggots who can't handle that Ralph gets more pussy than them and makes more money in a night than they do in a week!
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I've said it before, and I'll say it again: $45k/year before taxes is not a lot of money. It breaks down to almost $30k a year after taxes, a manager of a gas station can make over $50k a year. A manager of a gas station can make more in a night than Ralph and has benefits like healthcare and paid time off.

If Ralph were making $100k a year I could see it (he'd lose $40k to taxes but $60k goes FAR in the south), but he's literally making as much as a tier two Walmart employee. With no hope of moving upward.

As for pussy, anyone can get laid. There are 600lb+ guys that have to be washed with a rag on a stick on TLC shows that have wives and young children that are running around. They weren't chads with haters, they were just consistent and realistic about who would fuck them.
 
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