Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

And it's not even their house. Someone else will have to use it when they're done, right?

And that's probably why. They knew they were going to be out in a few months so why bother to clean up? That's extra work and that's stupid.

Good thing both were too lazy to start stripping the copper pipes or stealing the bathroom fixtures, but again, "insurance" will get them new ones. So again, why bother stealing?

The part about Chris and Barb getting their neighbour's cat put down was really disturbing, he proved yet again what a sack of shit he truly is.

There's an entire dark side to that family that rarely ever gets out into the mainstream Chris lore. You can pick up bits and pieces through the documentation on the CWCki but there's probably even more than hasn't gotten out.

We see that later on when the cat got hit by a car (I still think it was from one of them driving like a retard) and hiding, so Chris decides waiting for it or coaxing it out was too hard and to just spray it with a hose.

I guess Barb would have been at work most of the day, while Patti roamed in the Chandler’s yard and kept her territory clear of squirrels and mailmen. Overall not the worst life for a dog.

Patti lived in a small pen.



Worlds better than inside though. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt that Barb actually took care of Patti without having the Chandler Boys around.

 

[Kuruminha]

As I recall, Bob and Chris moved out for a few years while Barb and Patti remained because of Barb’s job.

So yeah... Chris wouldn’t have been responsible for Pattis care for a good while.

I guess Barb would have been at work most of the day, while Patti roamed in the Chandler’s yard and kept her territory clear of squirrels and mailmen. Overall not the worst life for a dog.

Was worse when she died, being eternalized as a fursona.

There's an entire dark side to that family that rarely ever gets out into the mainstream Chris lore. You can pick up bits and pieces through the documentation on the CWCki but there's probably even more than hasn't gotten out.

"I dont wanna be buried,
In this Patti's Cemeteery!"

 

[A Grey Cat]

"I dont wanna be buried,
In this Patti's Cemeteery!"

Sometimes dead is better...and Chris imortalizing patti and bob in the world of sonichu is proof of that

 

[Fapcop]

Sometimes dead is better...and Chris imortalizing patti and bob in the world of sonichu is proof of that

I don’t know man... According to Chris’s latest lore, the poor ol’ lumberjack is a Sonichu, like Christian, and that means there is no death for him.

Every time a Sonichu dies, it’s reborn as another Sonichu with the memories of its past life intact.

Poor Bob will get no rest or eternal reward in heaven for his internet cutting. He’s doomed to a hellish, meaningless existence of constant rebirth in the same body. Over and over and over.

Nothing will ever be exciting or interesting for Bob. He has seen it all countless times and will continue to do so, since his Sonichu-soul is trapped in a sacrilegious mockery of life for all eternity.

 

[CwChalk]

Nothing will ever be exciting or interesting for Bob

I'm not sure about that one, but then again that depends on your definition of interesting. I think he's hanging around with Bundychu.

At the very least having a notorious serial killer ressurrected into a bastardized fursona who remembers every thing in his past life has got to be a bit awkward.

 

[The Un-Clit]

Great work like always!

I like to think I’m a well oriented Christorian, but there’s always some stuff I didn’t know about.

I know what you mean, somehow I never saw or even heard of that goodie bag image Chris drew of Caty 'saving' Chris with nipple-to-nipple jumper cables.... I mean

 

[Fapcop]

I know what you mean, somehow I never saw or even heard of that goodie bag image Chris drew of Caty 'saving' Chris with nipple-to-nipple jumper cables.... I mean

Lololol

That might have been the single, greatest creative achievement of Chris-Chan ever.

From the van full of trolls (and troll head) to Christian as a watery ghost to the whole jumper cable heart starting, it’s just a masterpiece of autistic weirdness!

 

[Tiger Tanaka]

If the dogs are to be brought back, it'll be in card form. Or if Chris devolves into a further laziness, POG form.

"Remember Barb? She's back! In POG form"

Chris is the kind of Necromancer who'd only use his powers to resurrect a broken Playstation

 

[The Un-Clit]

I wonder how Chris and Barb feel now after their DNA ancestory test that they were never related to the English, period.

what what what??? What's this now? "Chandler" is a pretty English name, when did they get DNA tested?

 

[PepsiVanilla]

I don’t know man... According to Chris’s latest lore, the poor ol’ lumberjack is a Sonichu, like Christian, and that means there is no death for him.

Every time a Sonichu dies, it’s reborn as another Sonichu with the memories of its past life intact.

Poor Bob will get no rest or eternal reward in heaven for his internet cutting. He’s doomed to a hellish, meaningless existence of constant rebirth in the same body. Over and over and over.

Nothing will ever be exciting or interesting for Bob. He has seen it all countless times and will continue to do so, since his Sonichu-soul is trapped in a sacrilegious mockery of life for all eternity.

Interesting. So now each time a Chandler dies, we get treated to a Doctor Who (or should I say Doctor Chu) style regeneration story. Can't wait to see what kind of horrifying form he dreams up for Barb in the near future.

Also I just now learned about that Fathers' Day 2018 picture he drew of Bob-Chu sharing a loving embrace with him as "Christine," as if the real Bob would ever tolerate any of that femboy fursuit faggotry.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

what what what??? What's this now? "Chandler" is a pretty English name, when did they get DNA tested?

My bad, I take that back; according to his test, Chris 100% comes from Europe, genetically, however he is not of the British royal family.

heritage on Bob's side. However, in March 2018 Chris posted the results of a DNA test from 23andMe to determine his ancestry, which showed that he was of 100% European genetic background, with slightly over half of this being British and most of the rest from across northwestern Europe. While these results are certainly not completely accurate, it is unlikely that any legitimate DNA test would fail to detect any Native American genetic background in someone who is even 1/16 or 1/32 (as Chris has claimed at various points) Cherokee.

 

[CwChalk]

Also I just now learned about that Fathers' Day 2018 picture he drew of Bob-Chu sharing a loving embrace with him as "Christine," as if the real Bob would ever tolerate any of that femboy fursuit faggotry.

Was Bob really accepting of Chris' tomgirl ways before he died? What are the odds Chris was just making shit up?

Poor Bob, one of the last things he saw of his son was Chris prancing around in a skirt and prostitute make-up.

 

[Kuruminha]

Kinda off topic, but since I binge watch some CWC videos every other Sunday that Geno releases his episodes, is there any other cow that sounds like our good old school Chris?

Seriously, I could watch this bastard for hours on end. Guilty pleasure meets ASMR with a dash of cringey comedy. Pure gold.

 

[Fapcop]

Interesting. So now each time a Chandler dies, we get treated to a Doctor Who (or should I say Doctor Chu) style regeneration story. Can't wait to see what kind of horrifying form he dreams up for Barb in the near future.

Also I just now learned about that Fathers' Day 2018 picture he drew of Bob-Chu sharing a loving embrace with him as "Christine," as if the real Bob would ever tolerate any of that femboy fursuit faggotry.

I think it’s the same card where Chris announces that RobertChu will no longer be plaid but red and black, right?

Since PLAID IS TOO HARD TO DRAW, and Chris can’t be bothered, even for his dead father.

 

[PepsiVanilla]

I think it’s the same card where Chris announces that RobertChu will no longer be plaid but red and black, right?

Since PLAID IS TOO HARD TO DRAW, and Chris can’t be bothered, even for his dead father.

I'm not sure when he made that decision; the card I saw had him as plaid with no sort of announcement about the design changing. My knowledge of anything after the latest Comprehensive History video is almost nil.

 

[Fapcop]

I'm not sure when he made that decision; the card I saw had him as plaid with no sort of announcement about the design changing. My knowledge of anything after the latest Comprehensive History video is almost nil.

Ah, I guess it was after that then. As I recall it was a picture of Robertchu and a text that basically said:

“Here is my beloved father that I miss every day, blah blah. PS: Robertchu is now red and black instead of plaid, since plaid was too hard and took too long to draw.”

If you could sum up Chris with one of his drawings (that didn’t include China) it was basically it.

Kinda off topic, but since I binge watch some CWC videos every other Sunday that Geno releases his episodes, is there any other cow that sounds like our good old school Chris?

Seriously, I could watch this bastard for hours on end. Guilty pleasure meets ASMR with a dash of cringey comedy. Pure gold.

Honestly, Chris is/was such a vortex of autism, stupidity and insanity, that no other cows really come close.

You got your Aspergers/autist Sonic fans, but none of them are as dumb and gullible as Chris.

The Golden Knight had some Chris Chan vibes to him though.

Haven’t looked him up in forever, but basically he was a tard almost as bad at art as Chris, who drew a comics of hinself as a knight in armor made of gold.

He was also hella thirsty and reminded me a bit of Chris in that respect.

 

[Are-A-Ham-A-Key]

If the dogs are to be brought back, it'll be in card form. Or if Chris devolves into a further laziness, POG form.

"Remember Barb? She's back! In POG form"

Chris is the kind of Necromancer who'd only use his powers to resurrect a broken Playstation

Well Chris Chan constantly waste money on shit he doesn't need so It is not surprising he would also waste time fixing a broken PlayStation.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Interesting. So now each time a Chandler dies, we get treated to a Doctor Who (or should I say Doctor Chu) style regeneration story. Can't wait to see what kind of horrifying form he dreams up for Barb in the near future.

Also I just now learned about that Fathers' Day 2018 picture he drew of Bob-Chu sharing a loving embrace with him as "Christine," as if the real Bob would ever tolerate any of that femboy fursuit faggotry.

I thought that Chris said that Bob accepted his Tomgirl appearance before he died (Chris could be lying though).

 

[Kuruminha]

I thought that Chris said that Bob accepted his Tomgirl appearance before he died (Chris could be lying though).

Bob threw the FAG card at him, as far as I know. And since that was some of the last exchanges between the both of them, Chris might had done some meme magic to retcon that aspect of his own life.

But if I recall correctly, Bob dragged that shame to the casket.

 

[PepsiVanilla]

I thought that Chris said that Bob accepted his Tomgirl appearance before he died (Chris could be lying though).

I wasn't aware he had ever claimed that, but yeah it would take some serious evidence to convince me that he wasn't either lying or just being his typical delusional self. The last thing I knew about was right near the time Bob died, when he just straight up called him a fag.

edit: lol just barely ninja'd