🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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Vetti said:
Nora is the only woman Ralph ever talks that well or negatively about. She's the only one still stoking strong emotions for him. Faith is literally just a young hole for him and I hope she realizes it someday.
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Yeah the "fetching" comment seems like a beautiful serenade next to how poorly he talks to and about Faith. He actually had some respect for Nora.
 
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Crystal Golem said:
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lol yeah he's not even mixing drinks anymore.

Seems like he's getting pissed at this co-host guy.
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I've been noticing this since the LA streams. It's much worse though: He takes a swig of Coke, holds it in his mouth, pours some bourbon in, and then swallows it as he takes another swig of Coke. This is hilarious on the following levels.
Level 1: It's nigger-tier piggish behavior. Imagine James Bond drinking like that at a nice hotel bar while trying to seduce a Russian spy. Cartoonishly crass.
Level 2: He has no contact with anyone with enough class to realize this, slap him, and tell him to drink like a normal human. This behavior has obviously festered and evolved on it's own and it's probably too late to change at this point.
Level 3: He's a fucking pussy that can't drink whiskey neat like a real man.
Level 4: Deep down he knows that he is a pussy and is ashamed, which is why he has the bourbon in a separate glass. He wants it to look like he is drinking like a normal adult male and rather than have a jack and coke like any reasonable pussy he has to do this insecure faggot pretend drinking shit.
Level 5: NON-DIET SODA ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? The gunt will reach his knees in a couple years if the obesity doesn't kill him.

Also tonight I saw him pouring out of a pint bottle, which is something alcoholics buy either to limit their drinking or to sneak it by their employers or loved ones. So there's that.
 
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Curious Addie said:
Level 5: NON-DIET SODA ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? The gunt will reach his knees in a couple years if the obesity doesn't kill him.
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I'm going to side with Jordan Peterson here: it's the mother's fault. She enabled him, never made him clean his room and next thing you know he's beating his childbride, stealing his mother's medication and mixing drinks IN HIS MOUTH LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL.
 
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Curious Addie said:
I've been noticing this since the LA streams. It's much worse though: He takes a swig of Coke, holds it in his mouth, pours some bourbon in, and then swallows it as he takes another swig of Coke. This is hilarious on the following levels.
Level 1: It's nigger-tier piggish behavior. Imagine James Bond drinking like that at a nice hotel bar while trying to seduce a Russian spy. Cartoonishly crass.
Level 2: He has no contact with anyone with enough class to realize this, slap him, and tell him to drink like a normal human. This behavior has obviously festered and evolved on it's own and it's probably too late to change at this point.
Level 3: He's a fucking pussy that can't drink whiskey neat like a real man.
Level 4: Deep down he knows that he is a pussy and is ashamed, which is why he has the bourbon in a separate glass. He wants it to look like he is drinking like a normal adult male and rather than have a jack and coke like any reasonable pussy he has to do this insecure faggot pretend drinking shit.
Level 5: NON-DIET SODA ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? The gunt will reach his knees in a couple years if the obesity doesn't kill him.

Also tonight I saw him pouring out of a pint bottle, which is something alcoholics buy either to limit their drinking or to sneak it by their employers or loved ones. So there's that.
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Ralph is wasting money on good booze. He couldn't tell Makers Mark from Seagrams 7 at this point.
 
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bugfy said:
Ralph is wasting money on good booze. He couldn't tell Makers Mark from Seagrams 7 at this point.
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I don't meant to be an asshole but is Maker's Mark really that good? It's $15-$20/bottle, isn't that at boxed wine levels if you have a 1/2-1 bottle a day? That's a box of smokes and a cup of coffee a day, I don't drink regularly though so I have no idea what the difference with shit is.
 
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Burd Turglar said:
@theralph don't listen to all the haters
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gran_autismo said:
I don't meant to be an asshole but is Maker's Mark really that good? It's $15-$20/bottle, isn't that at boxed wine levels if you have a 1/2-1 bottle a day? That's a box of smokes and a cup of coffee a day, I don't drink regularly though so I have no idea what the difference with shit is.
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it's lower mid shelf. Top of the bourbon list is pappy van winkle, MM and woodford midshelf. Whatever Ethan filling his makers bottles with bottom
 
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Curious Addie said:
I've been noticing this since the LA streams. It's much worse though: He takes a swig of Coke, holds it in his mouth, pours some bourbon in, and then swallows it as he takes another swig of Coke. This is hilarious on the following levels.
Level 1: It's nigger-tier piggish behavior. Imagine James Bond drinking like that at a nice hotel bar while trying to seduce a Russian spy. Cartoonishly crass.
Level 2: He has no contact with anyone with enough class to realize this, slap him, and tell him to drink like a normal human. This behavior has obviously festered and evolved on it's own and it's probably too late to change at this point.
Level 3: He's a fucking pussy that can't drink whiskey neat like a real man.
Level 4: Deep down he knows that he is a pussy and is ashamed, which is why he has the bourbon in a separate glass. He wants it to look like he is drinking like a normal adult male and rather than have a jack and coke like any reasonable pussy he has to do this insecure faggot pretend drinking shit.
Level 5: NON-DIET SODA ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? The gunt will reach his knees in a couple years if the obesity doesn't kill him.

Also tonight I saw him pouring out of a pint bottle, which is something alcoholics buy either to limit their drinking or to sneak it by their employers or loved ones. So there's that.
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The funny thing about this is that he likes to portray himself as some connoisseur of fine whiskey and bourbons, maybe because of the company he keeps (Rackets springs to mind), and then ends up shooting and chasing like a teenager. I wonder if he did it like this when he was sampling the drinks at the bar the other day.

Tbh if you're drinking to get drunk, stop pretending and buy some paint thinner vodka, it'll save money.
 
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TA0/ said:
it's lower mid shelf. Top of the bourbon list is pappy van winkle, MM and woodford midshelf. Whatever Ethan filling his makers bottles with bottom
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Yeah, Makers is "high end" to college kids and other people just finding out about booze which makes sense when you consider Ethans mental maturity. There's retarded amounts of high end whiskey and bourbon out there but it all comes down to personal taste at the end of the day. I'm not going to moral fag on good liquors though as I bet this fat faggot refills his makers bottles with kesslers to look like he's rolling in the lemons.
 
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