🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

[Superman93's Bitch]

where's my achievement for catching up to the latest page of this thread

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This is your brain on gunt, kids. Don't suck gunt!

has dick inadvertently outed himself as a pedo and CP connoisseur?

 

[MeltyTW]

actually im curious @AnOminous whats the possible ramifications of calling yourself a slutmaker on social media in regards to your posting revenge porn if i may ask.

 

[TERF respecter]

Makers? He's been drinking pint bottles of bottom shelf bourbon every night I've checked in. I'm starting to think his Maker's habit has been a lie all along. Especially considering his disgusting cement mixer drinking style. It's not as off-putting when you tell people you drink a $30 bottle of fine whiskey than if you tell them you slink into the liquor store and buy the 2 for $5 special they keep by the cash register for the cheap drunks.

Ethans 'Makers Mark' gimmick is lifted straight from Ghost True Capitalist radio who has always boasted about his Johnnie Walker Blue Label ever since I can remember. Ethan just chose a mid tier bourbon because even he knew no one would believe he was drinking high end stuff every day. He has always been a sad mimic of a handful of characters he idolizes(Trump, Dick, Howard Stern, Hunter S Thompson).

 

[Delicious Diversity]

actually im curious @AnOminous whats the possible ramifications of calling yourself a slutmaker on social media in regards to your posting revenge porn if i may ask.

I'm sure it looks great in court documents.

 

[Instapot]

Ralph isn't having a show tonight boys. Says he's in Williamsburg.

 

[Iron Father]

Spoiler

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I was not expecting this, I laughed so loud on the train. Awkward.

 

[PonPonPataPon]

COPE
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https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1293344574799257603?cxt=HHwWhoC1kbqC8fIjAAAA

This is yet another sad attempt at being a CHAD by someone who barely even resembles a human being.

Ralph, you need to realize that you can't even pretend to style on mfs like this when you yourself are a 5' tall rotten meatball. You are literally built like a snowman. The miserable physical form which your daunted soul inhabits prevents you from ever being a chad.

Now, you could have humbled yourself, realized your lot in life and tried to develop a skill, worked a trade for the rest of your life like an average person.

But "nay!" the Gunt cried. "Ahm nawt just anyone! Ahm da Ralphamale! A-a-ahm like da 5th most responsible person for the fall of Mundain Matt! People are scurrd of meh!" he bellowed as he slowly turned into a pink Wojak.

It never ends, ladies and guntlemen... it only ever continues.

 

[Sammich]

Isn't bourbon only made in America? How can Americans be trash at bourbon if they are the only ones producing it?

All about the ingredients really, cheap shit makes cheap shit. The age and distilling methods can have a ton to do with it as well.

 

[Shakka Ahmose]

Ethans 'Makers Mark' gimmick is lifted straight from Ghost True Capitalist radio who has always boasted about his Johnnie Walker Blue Label ever since I can remember. Ethan just chose a mid tier bourbon because even he knew no one would believe he was drinking high end stuff every day. He has always been a sad mimic of a handful of characters he idolizes(Trump, Dick, Howard Stern, Hunter S Thompson).

And Dick and Daddy Jim to some extent

 

[PumpkinSpiceBitchMeringue]

http://theralphretort.com/lies-damned-lies-autistics-6015017/

wow, it's been what? 3 years?
Who could've foretold this?

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Can you feel it, fellow retards? That energy in the air. Like we're on the cusp of the most massive flameout in Internet History.
Post your predictions on what happens. Remember, no possibility is too crazy -- this is 2020, and we are dealing with Ralph.

Ralph has said a couple of times, "when everything goes to shit your only option is to turn heel!" or some shit. I think in his infinite wisdom he's going to do his best to amplify just how depraved and disgusting he can get. He's going to turn everything up to 11 and go as hard as he can because it's what's giving him attention. The beauty of this is that he'll do it like a drunken moron.

He's going to flag more, he's going to hire prostitutes to pretend to be his girlfriend (or not, might just bang hookers), he's going to do so so much more. It's going to be vile.

 

[instythot]

While it's fun to speculate how much worse it can get, we're going to find out soon enough. Here's a real imagination workout: How does Ethan Ralph possibly turn this into a win?

 

[Had]

Have a request: would anyone with greater technical ability than myself be willing to recreate this scene from Interstellar using the Gunt?

 

[MeltyTW]

This is yet another sad attempt at being a CHAD by someone who barely even resembles a human being.

Ralph, you need to realize that you can't even pretend to style on mfs like this when you yourself are a 5' tall rotten meatball. You are literally built like a snowman. The miserable physical form which your daunted soul inhabits prevents you from ever being a chad.

Now, you could have humbled yourself, realized your lot in life and tried to develop a skill, worked a trade for the rest of your life like an average person.

But "nay!" the Gunt cried. "Ahm nawt just anyone! Ahm da Ralphamale! A-a-ahm like da 5th most responsible person for the fall of Mundain Matt! People are scurrd of meh!" he bellowed as he slowly turned into a pink Wojak.

It never ends, ladies and guntlemen... it only ever continues.

he actually called himself the most talented and greatest of his generation too

 

[gh0stzero]

Isn't bourbon only made in America? How can Americans be trash at bourbon if they are the only ones producing it?

You can make sour mash and throw it in a barrel to get the flavour anywhere in the world but yeah the best stuff is made in America try buffalo trace or jim beam

 

[Shakka Ahmose]

Ralph has said a couple of times, "when everything goes to shit your only option is to turn heel!" or some shit. I think in his infinite wisdom he's going to do his best to amplify just how depraved and disgusting he can get. He's going to turn everything up to 11 and go as hard as he can because it's what's giving him attention. The beauty of this is that he'll do it like a drunken moron.

He's going to flag more, he's going to hire prostitutes to pretend to be his girlfriend (or not, might just bang hookers), he's going to do so so much more. It's going to be vile.

One of these days Ethan is going to be beaten up by some pimp live on air during a Killstream

 

[cuÞbert]

At the very least Makers Mark BBQ sauce is delicious.

 

[Had]

Have a request: would anyone with greater technical ability than myself be willing to recreate this scene from Interstellar using the Gunt?

 

[Unog]

This is yet another sad attempt at being a CHAD by someone who barely even resembles a human being.

Ralph, you need to realize that you can't even pretend to style on mfs like this when you yourself are a 5' tall rotten meatball. You are literally built like a snowman. The miserable physical form which your daunted soul inhabits prevents you from ever being a chad.

There's also the fact that he's got a three-inch cock.

Chad status is in the negatives from that alone.

 

[AnOminous]

actually im curious @AnOminous whats the possible ramifications of calling yourself a slutmaker on social media in regards to your posting revenge porn if i may ask.

Doing anything to continue to harass the victim wouldn't look good if it ever goes to court. Maybe it won't. Maybe Faith's dad won't drop a dime to his PO. Maybe he won't find her a lawyer to sue. Maybe the prosecutor won't take the case. There's a reasonably good chance nobody does anything about this and he gets away with it.

It's not a particularly bright gamble to take though.

ETA: also isn't his probation actually over now?