Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 379 14.2%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 393 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 12.0%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,660
some new tweets. tl;dr she decided to treat herself with some chocolate cake after tweeting about how "exhausting" it is to be fat.
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Of course she is. No one gets to her size without eating their feelings. The cake doesn't care that she has yeast infections in her folds and can't properly wash herself; the cake doesn't get frustrated with her for showing up to one of her dwindling gigs and tell her she's much bigger than expected and they don't have anything that fits; the cake doesn't mind that she's broke and drowning in debt. The cake says everything is fine just the way it is, and that she doesn't need to do anything to remedy her homelessness. Eat me, Ryann, I'm your friend!
 
Seems Tess is very hurt about the comments in that viral tweet about the strawberry dress. I read a lot of them an most people weren't talking about her weight, they were criticizing the t-shirt scam, her racism and how rude she is with everyone.

Instead of thinking 'Maybe I should be a better person' she thinks 'Everyone hates me because I'm fat'.
 
Tess’s Instagram post:
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It’s already been posted, but this is just for context. The other slides are about her Twitter rant about being fat that was already posted earlier in this thread.

Notable comments:
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They’re not nearly as juicy as other posts, which is why it’s short this time.

Other updates:
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Why is a psychotherapist who supposedly has a private practice begging for money on Venmo? Why is Tess too much of a dumb cow to ask herself this question before posting a link to this con artists venmo? This is more of her racism shining through. This lady is black, so she MUST be destitute and begging for food on the street! She needs help! Tess, this woman makes more money in a month than you'll see your entire life.
 
Lol. Always the victim but never the victimizer. Usual Tess.

Here’s some reality checks:

Despite 10 years in the game which is more like 8 years tbh. She hasn’t really got super famous for something other than being the really “fat” plus size model that was signed to an agency. There have been a plethora of plus size models that have existed in the stratosphere way before her time that had agencies.
The first forte she had was for “Heavy” a reality show about people losing weight. But, she wasn’t actually on the show. She detests diet culture so much but, look what made her famous! A weight loss show!
Her two things that are considered “mainstream” would be the people mag cover which was YEARS ago by now and the Cosmo UK cover that is at least two years old. The Parent’s cover is irrelevant because it’s not a high fashion editorial magazine. Her Canadian clothing line bombed. Her PUG job and Steady clothing job fell through. Torrid slapped her away because she wanted more money. Her book was hardly a best seller and she even admitted that she didn’t make that much money off of it. Walking ONE runway in Germany isn’t exactly Paris or NY and even the NY fashion show she did walk, the outfit was more of a parody of real clothes that had words all over them. Who’s going to wear that in real life? She shot that one elloqui campaign but, that went nowhere. If she is still working with Sebastian then MAYBE that’s her biggest client. But, I used to do hair, Sebastian was a thing of the 90’s. I just searched the web for a salon near me that carries it. I live in a major us city. Supercuts and Walmart’s smart style carry it. Not exactly great but, not high fashion for sure. Oh and she occasionally squeezes into pretty little thing’s clothing and walks around Jolene’s neighborhood and throws herself on fences and walls for the gram.
She’s an ig influencer now. Plain and simple. Selling workout clothes for OTHER people to work out in and a stupidly expensive beauty box. This is her major mainstream career!

At this point in the game, she should at the very least have her own house, maybe a nice decent car and nice things in her home. And a home that she could provide a comfortable stable environment for her children. She could have even been a millionaire by now. Who knows? For all the pioneering and boundaries (yeah ok) she crushed she has very little to show for all that “success”. She currently can’t even afford to take care of one son, so he can’t live with her. She roommates in a small little apartment with her bestie and her other son after his father deserted them both. For someone living in LA and having all this fame and glory it does not translate to living the highly successful life in any sense.

She hasn’t pulled the hot dudes that she claims either. She even said in one of her youtube videos that no guy has ever bought her a drink. If there was guys before Nick and the other feeder it was because she either put out or was a fwb. At her prime dating life she pulled a Nick. And he was no catch. He didn’t have a job or money and he liked to bang dudes. He wasn’t the super hot, hetero, hunk of burning love she thought he was. Even if she was “okay” with him swinging both ways it still makes her look like shit. And it looks like now more than ever he used to her get a green card. Her illusion of the hot, sexy, manly man being hot for her and only her were destroyed. Which proves that she really has no game.

Tess doesn’t want to actually put work in to further her “career” because she is lazy af. She could start a podcast and probably find someone to easily set up equipment for her. But, she can’t. She would actually have to use her brain instead of being naked with her one open mouth pose. Which is the extent of her range. She could try to start her own clothing line. But, every single “line” she created or been involved with has bombed. She’s not dedicated enough to put in the work to get that off the ground. And she probably does not need the money to start if she really tried. She could get investors from her mountains of famous besties but, oh wait Tess… this is a horrible racist capitalist society that holds everyone down... and she is too woke for that even if it means a new opportunity for herself. She could even re-invent herself and cut off her hair and dye it another color. Change up her makeup. But, even that is too much and that’s not even anything!

The only real options she has is to lose weight and or keep being the “woke” white savior to the masses of oppressed non white people. She’s chosen the latter. She wants to lose weight. But, she will never admit that publicly. Tess is a 5’2” 300 pounds. Her short body is carrying way too much. She has to have back problems, knee problems, ankle problems, feet problems. She has to be living in pain. There is no way for how “healthy” she is that she does not suffer with physical pain and no amount of bath bombs soaking in a tub is going to help. If she were to break a arm or a leg or screw up just one knee shit would get real for her. She knows this is her next step but, she would rather die than admit it. She realized that she has cornered herself into her own alternative body niche and she has nothing else. She has no brains, no character, a shit personality and is a documented liar. I’m just waiting for the ONLY FANS account link to pop up at this point.
 
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Seems Tess is very hurt about the comments in that viral tweet about the strawberry dress. I read a lot of them an most people weren't talking about her weight, they were criticizing the t-shirt scam, her racism and how rude she is with everyone.

Instead of thinking 'Maybe I should be a better person' she thinks 'Everyone hates me because I'm fat'.
Her response to the criticism reminds me of Amberlynn. I remember Amberlynn one time claiming the reason people didn’t like her was because she’s fat. I guess it isn’t surprising that these cows all have the same defenses.
Lol. Always the victim but never the victimizer. Usual Tess.

Here’s some reality checks:

Despite 10 years in the game which is more like 8 years tbh. She hasn’t really got super famous for something other than being the really “fat” plus size model that was signed to an agency. There have been a plethora of plus size models that have existed in the stratosphere way before her time that had agencies.
The first forte she had was for “Heavy” a reality show about people losing weight. But, she wasn’t actually on the show. She detests diet culture so much but, look what made her famous! A weight loss show!
Her two things that are considered “mainstream” would be the people mag cover which was YEARS ago by now and the Cosmo UK cover that is at least two years old. The Parent’s cover is irrelevant because it’s not a high fashion editorial magazine. Her Canadian clothing line bombed. Her PUG job and Steady clothing job fell through. Torrid slapped her away because she wanted more money. Her book was hardly a best seller and she even admitted that she didn’t make that much money off of it. Walking ONE runway in Germany isn’t exactly Paris or NY and even the NY fashion show she did walk, the outfit was more of a parody of real clothes that had words all over them. Who’s going to wear that in real life? She shot that one elloqui campaign but, that went nowhere. If she is still working with Sebastian then MAYBE that’s her biggest client. But, I used to do hair, Sebastian was a thing of the 90’s. I just searched the web for a salon near me that carries it. I live in a major us city. Supercuts and Walmart’s smart style carry it. Not exactly great but, not high fashion for sure. Oh and she occasionally squeezes into pretty little thing’s clothing and walks around Jolene’s neighborhood and throws herself on fences and walls for the gram.
She’s an ig influencer now. Plain and simple. Selling workout clothes for OTHER people to work out in and a stupidly expensive beauty box. This is her major mainstream career!

At this point in the game, she should at the very least have her own house, maybe a nice decent car and nice things in her home. And a home that she could provide a comfortable stable environment for her children. She could have even been a millionaire by now. Who knows? For all the pioneering and boundaries (yeah ok) she crushed she has very little to show for all that “success”. She currently can’t even afford to take care of one son, so he can’t live with her. She roommates in a small little apartment with her bestie and her other son after his father deserted them both. For someone living in LA and having all this fame and glory it does not translate to living the highly successful life in any sense.

She hasn’t pulled the hot dudes that she claims either. She even said in one of her youtube videos that no guy has ever bought her a drink. If there was guys before Nick and the other feeder it was because she either put out or was a fwb. At her prime dating life she pulled a Nick. And he was no catch. He didn’t have a job or money and he liked to bang dudes. He wasn’t the super hot, hetero, hunk of burning love she thought he was. Even if she was “okay” with him swinging both ways it still makes her look like shit. And it looks like now more than ever he used to her get a green card. Her illusion of the hot, sexy, manly man being hot for her and only her were destroyed. Which proves that she really has no game.

Tess doesn’t want to actually put work in to further her “career” because she is lazy af. She could start a podcast and probably find someone to easily set up equipment for her. But, she can’t. She would actually have to use her brain instead of being naked with her one open mouth pose. Which is the extent of her range. She could try to start her own clothing line. But, every single “line” she created or been involved with has bombed. She’s not dedicated enough to put in the work to get that off the ground. And she probably does not need the money to start if she really tried. She could get investors from her mountains of famous besties but, oh wait Tess… this is a horrible racist capitalist society that holds everyone down... and she is too woke for that even if it means a new opportunity for herself. She could even re-invent herself and cut off her hair and dye it another color. Change up her makeup. But, even that is too much and that’s not even anything!

The only real options she has is to lose weight and or keep being the “woke” white savior to the masses of oppressed non white people. She’s chosen the latter. She wants to lose weight. But, she will never admit that publicly. Tess is a 5’2” 300 pounds. Her short body is carrying way too much. She has to have back problems, knee problems, ankle problems, feet problems. She has to be living in pain. There is no way for how “healthy” she is that she does not suffer with physical pain and no amount of bath bombs soaking in a tub is going to help. If she were to break a arm or a leg or screw up just one knee shit would get real for her. She knows this is her next step but, she would rather die than admit it. She realized that she has cornered herself into her own alternative body niche and she has nothing else. She has no brains, no personality, no character, a shit personality and is a documented liar. I’m just waiting for the ONLY FANS account link to pop up at this point.
This is very optimistic, but if Tess were smarter, kinder, and more business savvy, this is the life she could have had:
  • Signed onto MiLK management
    • Becomes well liked and respected for always being on time, easy to work with, and giving correct measurements
    • Maintains weight she is at, possibly works on losing some to get a better figure
  • Starts doing higher profile campaigns and later signs onto a bigger modeling agency with a higher pay
    • During this time, she works on getting a degree or learning a useful skill to fall back on once modeling becomes less profitable
  • Works on curating online image by staying out of drama and tries to be a genuinely good person to be around. This helps maintain a following
  • Modeling opportunities start to get a bit smaller, so with either the degree or extra skills, starts to use the fall back job more
  • Due to steady following and other skills, is able to make sponsored posts from more high profile brands, and possibly gets paid if following is big enough
  • By age 35 is able to live in a nice house with her oldest kid (Nick and Bowie wouldn’t be in the picture because this alternate version of Tess attracts a better mate). Possibly gets married. She respects her family’s privacy and only posts pictures with their permission
If Tess were smarter, kinder, and more businesses savvy, this is the life she could be living. She squandered most of her opportunities by being a diva and being an all around unpleasant person, on top of thinking she was above less glamorous work. She only has herself to blame. I feel bad for the kids involved her mess of a life, but I don’t feel the same for Tess, seeing as she created this hell herself. She could have done so much more, and she spit in the face of opportunities that most models can only dream of. Tess had so much handed to her, and she ruined it by being dumb and unkind. Tess rants about privilege all the time, but she doesn’t acknowledge the real work privileges she’s amassed due to a pretty face and being the flavor of the month.
 
She could start a podcast and probably find someone to easily set up equipment for her.
Her agency got her on a ton of talk shows, podcasts, and web shows for the first year she was with them. She's as dumb as a bag of hammers and boring to boot. If she isn't talking about woke fatness, she has nothing to say. She isn't funny, or engaging - her idea of a good joke is to say something hurtful or insulting.

If she'd been at all entertaining the agency would have been able to pivot her into a talking head, which seemed to be the plan when it turned out she was too large for most clothes. They even arranged someone to film and episode or two of a reality show on spec, which would follow Tess and Nick in their LA life. It was dull as dishwater and there were no takers.

Ryann has the misfortune of being a fat pig AND an asshole AND a moron AND a cluster B fuckhead AND boring. There's not enough lipstick in the world to put on a pig of that kind, and her agency was brilliant to keep it up as long as they did.

So of course, Ryann acted like a spoiled cunt and ruined every opportunity they threw her, then badmouthed them when they quietly dropped her.
 
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She wont even listen or talk about any other issues. Does she think black people just scream about racism everyday. That they don't care about anything else in the world, all the important issues that harm other people (and their own) lives, have thoughts or feelings? Like oh? Grandma fell and broke her hip? Well it's not about police brutality shut up. Alert that our neighbourhood flooded? Stop trying to redirect the attention! Me black me only care BLM Instagram infographics. Unga bunga. Lesson one of woke politics is literally intersectionality, ofc black women care about sexism, black parents care about pedophilia, black teachers care about schools opening, black people care about the whole world they live in etc

She's honestly so racist every day, we see it in the way she talks about and acts towards black people, I'm so creeped out. Anything but this. I'd actually prefer if she says the hard N word or does blackface like her true self would. She's so close to kidnapping a black person.

But really, what is the cure for this? It will never be enlightenment. She needs to be mass cancelled and dragged so hard for her faux activism that she goes completely radio silent over black issues as penance/damage control. If I ever have to read her talk or post about black people again, it'll make me racist. Great job Tess!

Please do not give RYANN Gunster any ideas for reenacting Jordan Peele movies. It's bad enough we have Angelina Jolie and that South African bitch who trooned her pet black out.
 
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Would it really hurt Tess to look deeper into issues rather than just reposting the same talking points of everything coming back to racism, sexism, fatphobia, etc.? If Tess knew anything about Stacy Abrams besides being black and fat, she’d know that she threw a really big temper tantrum over losing to Brian Kemp (to a point where she still hasn’t conceded). Additionally, Abrams declined the offer for Vice President. If Tess wasn’t so shallow, she’d realize that there are more components to things than just the most superficial, like how fat someone is.
 
oh get TF over yourself.
Ahhhhh, Tess. We drag you not because you're fat. It's because you're a sack of shit. :heart-full:
No, see, she's perfect in every other way, so that's the ONLY possible reason.

I've been asking myself a lot lately why narcissism even exists. How do you get to this level of self-unawareness?
Why is a psychotherapist who supposedly has a private practice begging for money on Venmo? Why is Tess too much of a dumb cow to ask herself this question before posting a link to this con artists venmo? This is more of her racism shining through. This lady is black, so she MUST be destitute and begging for food on the street! She needs help! Tess, this woman makes more money in a month than you'll see your entire life.
You know she'll memory hole this if it ever comes up again, right?
You mispelled 'thirty fifth'.
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Would it really hurt Tess to look deeper into issues rather than just reposting the same talking points of everything coming back to racism, sexism, fatphobia, etc.? If Tess knew anything about Stacy Abrams besides being black and fat, she’d know that she threw a really big temper tantrum over losing to Brian Kemp (to a point where she still hasn’t conceded). Additionally, Abrams declined the offer for Vice President. If Tess wasn’t so shallow, she’d realize that there are more components to things than just the most superficial, like how fat someone is.
So basically they think it's due to her being fat and black because apparently that's all they notice about her? Yet they claim to be anti-racist? Sure Jan.
 
Do you all see something odd about this photo? Shoop experts?

The mattress is straight, not indented. It's almost like she's not on it. She also looks smaller, and what is that above, a blanket? My eyes are not working well, way overdue for an eye appointment and new contacts (thanks Covod) but it seems like any picture of her ought to have a huge indentation. I remember one where she was sitting on the corner of a bed and the mattress was down three feet.

In the other photo with her arm pointing at the camera, They are so huge - it looks like she has floaties on. Double floaties. She's not 300 lbs-400 for sure.
 
Do you all see something odd about this photo? Shoop experts?

The mattress is straight, not indented. It's almost like she's not on it. She also looks smaller, and what is that above, a blanket? My eyes are not working well, way overdue for an eye appointment and new contacts (thanks Covod) but it seems like any picture of her ought to have a huge indentation. I remember one where she was sitting on the corner of a bed and the mattress was down three feet.

In the other photo with her arm pointing at the camera, They are so huge - it looks like she has floaties on. Double floaties. She's not 300 lbs-400 for sure.

Also possible she’s in the middle, rising the ends to look “normal” from being cleaved in half by a hippo.
 
Do you all see something odd about this photo? Shoop experts?

The mattress is straight, not indented. It's almost like she's not on it. She also looks smaller, and what is that above, a blanket? My eyes are not working well, way overdue for an eye appointment and new contacts (thanks Covod) but it seems like any picture of her ought to have a huge indentation. I remember one where she was sitting on the corner of a bed and the mattress was down three feet.

In the other photo with her arm pointing at the camera, They are so huge - it looks like she has floaties on. Double floaties. She's not 300 lbs-400 for sure.
It is massively indented - if it wasn't, she would be resting atop her many caterpillar rolls; see
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