Whenever I see a "feminist" trying to change the beauty standard, I'm just like-- why? Like I get that it's not NOTHING, it IS still an issue, but I also feel like we have way bigger fish to fry. Like, yes, people are treated differently in employment and seeking medical treatment and stuff sometimes because of their appearance. But I don't see how more unhealthy, deathfat models will change that... the biased doctor and employer is still going to find people attractive or ugly based on their own tastes. They have to be trained to be able to see past their bias, because bias will always exist in some form or another.
I am a big believer in the old adage "You can't dismantle the master's house with the master's tools." Don't like the male gaze? Okay, don't pander to it. Think the beauty standard is bullshit? Okay, don't live up to it. Millions of women do this every single day by just living their lives.
And let's be real. Ugly people the world over find love and companionship every single day. We all know, deep down, that compatible personalities and good old chemistry are what really makes people get along, even if physical attraction is what initially drew them together.
I obviously can't speak for Bekah, but as I mentioned above, she didn't look happy in her old, slimmer photos. I don't believe life is a bed of roses for beautiful young girls-- like I said, the beauty standard is still an issue that can hurt people. But, as a self-identified Ugly Woman, I honestly think it's worse for very beautiful girls. Every time I did well in school, or got a promotion at work, or had romantic interest from someone, I knew they were genuine accomplishments or genuine interest in me. I've never had to guess that somebody is treating me a particular way just because they thought I was pretty. I'm not making the claim that only pretty women get sexually harassed, and I've had my share of that too-- I'm just talking about the subconscious way people sometimes infantilize or fetishize pretty women.
I guess some people would call that pretty privilege. But I think how the woman actually experiences it varies wildly. Some women have the right temperament and can use it to their advantage, but other women just can't really handle all the attention and pressure. I'm speculating wildly about Bekah, of course, but she does remind me of someone I knew who was extremely pretty but had a tragic life, and gained a ton of weight as an adult, the way sexual abuse victims sometimes do, as protection. But it's even worse, because she's deluding herself into thinking it's healthy or good. It's really just another way of letting your abuser win, because ultimately you're just hurting yourself more.
In any case, I think the solution is to figure out that you are more than your appearance, whether pretty or ugly. And other people's perceptions of you don't matter as much as you think it does, or at least not in the way you think it does. (Combing your hair to be presentable at work? Yes, that's good. Whether some random strangers think you're hot? Doesn't matter in the slightest.) Some people might need a lot of very good therapy to untangle that, though. Easier said than done.
