Ted’s Lolcow Emporium
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I can’t in good faith try to get someone to fuck a woman who looks like Kat does and make her move in with them just to fuck with Phil. That is an unfair burden.
DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion
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tzgnilki
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- Aug 29, 2019
gin tweet link
the "souls-esque" game he's gin tweeting about:
also DSP:
"i've made an effort not to play souls-like games", only a few days ago
pigpiggo link
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- Jan 31, 2020
You think sex is involved in any transaction here? You sweet summer child.
Ted’s Lolcow Emporium
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Pretty Woman is a movie. There is no millionaire looking out there for a horse faced, flat chested woman with no eyebrows that is going to come and save Kat. The best she can get is someone with ok money who unlike Phil will have sex with her. As she has said, she “hasn’t had sex in ages!”
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- Jan 31, 2020
Has there ever been a time he couldn't stream a big release on launch day? I imagine the bitching would be biblical in scale.
Call me optimistic, but if lightning can strike once, why not twice?
Or maybe her biological clock will send her over the edge and need to seek out a verile man.
Ted’s Lolcow Emporium
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- May 12, 2020
There were times in 2019 when he couldn’t get games at launch and both he and his audience had fits about it. It’s when he started really demanding not only tips, cheers, and subs, but that his viewers buy the games for him.
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- Jan 31, 2020
I think I just figured out Phil's favourite song.
"And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had
And what was left after that too"
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2020
I checked out Phil's twitter for the first time the other day and every single sentence ends with an exclamation point. It's a train wreck of unnecessary punctuation and run-on sentences. Also "new hotness", what is this? 2002?
tzgnilki
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Muppetmode
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Ted’s Lolcow Emporium
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No he game the whole “no soulsbourne clones” speech. He’s too busy playing important games fans want like Paper Mario and Fire Emblem and Animal Crossing.
Nicole Eggert
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- Jul 19, 2020
Not gonna lie, when the very beginning of the tweet said "black myth:" I thought he had too much to drink and was about to drop some alt-right shit about race, and for that single millisecond I thought his cancellation was imminent.
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- Sep 15, 2016
I hope someone in here is autistic enough to start sending Pa and Ma Burnell a bunch of unsolicited credit card offers, offers for remortgaging their house and cruise brochures.
Spend Mr & Mrs Burnell! Spend like there’s no tomorrow! Don’t leave a cent for your spendthrift son!
Speaking of... Remember when Phil proudly announced that his parents had lent him money to fix the tahx situation?
Given that he’s making money head over heels lately, what are the odds of Phil not having paid them back, but is still pretending to be barely scraping by?
Spend Mr & Mrs Burnell! Spend like there’s no tomorrow! Don’t leave a cent for your spendthrift son!
Speaking of... Remember when Phil proudly announced that his parents had lent him money to fix the tahx situation?
Given that he’s making money head over heels lately, what are the odds of Phil not having paid them back, but is still pretending to be barely scraping by?
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- Dec 4, 2018
Phil's Twitter is his main PR mouthpiece so it needs to contain DPRK levels of propaganda at all times. To his mind that means lots of exclamation points to indicate excitement, and using words like "hype" and "fun" and "chill" to unsuccessfully create an environment of positivity. Anyone paying attention for five minutes knows he regularly fucks that up by using the same account to talk shit about game developers (and then back down when he's called out) and insult people.
The funniest shit I've ever seen in Phil's Twitter was that "DSP Fans" account, which was ultra positive and acted like a person with terminal pignosis, but who also tweeted welcoming people that were clearly detractors, just because they started following their account.
It was such a funny joke. Cuz Phil had no reason to get mad at it, but he probably blocked that account, which is ironic, since the account acted the way that Phil portrays all his viewers as: a person brimming with positivity and happy to be part of the pigpen.
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- Jan 4, 2020
We just had a conversation about Phil’s Blasphemous rant, which aged like milk. Everyone knows that Phil would only put up with a hard game if it had AAA hype behind it.
Also, am I the only one who fucking hates the term “soulslike”?
Dude it’s a third-person ARPG with a spot-dodge mechanic, that means it’s DARK SOULS!
It reeks of clickbait and inability to understand why Dark Souls was actually good. So of course it’s perfect for Salesmansydephil.
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2020
The 'soulslike' well kinda dried up since every developer and their mother tried banking on the success, without any AAA hype behind it Philip would just hit the first major roadblock and give up after a day or two of failed attempts, or he'd find a way to completely cheeze the game, neither of which make for great TIHYDP content.
Watching him fail at something as basic as GTA:3/SA is leagues more enjoyable than watching him play a 'hard' game and having his hand held the entire time by chat, ala his Demon's Souls playthrough.
Watching him fail at something as basic as GTA:3/SA is leagues more enjoyable than watching him play a 'hard' game and having his hand held the entire time by chat, ala his Demon's Souls playthrough.
Draventren
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- Jun 6, 2019
See I think you misunderstand here. Loaning money to Phil is like loaning it to a crack addict. It's a loan in name only, you're never seeing any of that money back at any point. And also like an addict, I'm willing to put money down that he either: refuses to loan anyone else money on principle, or would loan people money and pester them daily about when they're getting it back to him and/or be a cunt and actually try and charge interest on a loan to friends or family.
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2016
Whenever they talk on the phone, which is probably rarely, Im sure that Phil tries to give the impression that he’s still struggling, just so that they won’t get any funny ideas about repayment or spending their money on themselves.
“How it’s going? Oh barely keeping my head above water mom! Hanging in there, you know how it is. ACK! ACK! ACK!”
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- May 26, 2013
It's on every page above the comment box: "No trolling plans. We are not an autistic Illuminati. If you embarrass yourself or the forum trying to troll, we will ridicule you."
It's not they're upset, it's that people will not follow directions because they need attention so badly in their empty lives.
No, there is no special pass for Phil. If you can't watch and observe and laugh, you're in the wrong place and need to go plan your gayops elsewhere and let the rest of us have fun and enjoy the show at your expense here later.
Can not isn't the same as do not.
So Mr Papaveracea will have a chance to go into the Minecraft world today since DSP won't need an internet connection for his xbox I believe, if he shows up on time for entry. Now Phil doesn't even play games for his own business, he literally farms it out to his autsitic adult fanbase. Pignosis is a helluva drug!
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