Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 379 14.2%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 393 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 12.0%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,660
Tess is such a dumb ass.
Blake has a record of domestic and sexual abuse.

I'm not talking about his shooting but for her then to repost that domestic violence tweet is pretty ironic.
The cops were there for Blake because of a domestic incident.

Tess also deemed it appropriate to say it was kind of not a biggie to her, that her mum got shot in the face in a domestic violence situation, because her mum survived and was around to take care for Rylee. Always helpful to have this im mind, when she posts such woke stuff, because it just shows what kind of trash she is.
 
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> #bigcancerenergy
Accurate
 
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I was thinking about Nick last night (don't judge me, I couldn't sleep)

They fabricated this lie about Nick being a millionaire artiste, probably in the hopes of elevating both of their profiles. The reality we all know though, was Nick is a simpy, capable, but fairly mediocre artist/photographer who now works in a market (no shade, honest work is honest work but lol at the reality check)

So stupid. They could have parlayed both of their epic mediocrity into money. Nick isn't a millionaire, he's a "sensitive kweer artist". He could have capitalized on that among the wave of wokeness! He and Tess could have kweered the fashion industry if they hadn't been two dumpy losers who cant get out of their own way

I honestly think Bowie could thrive being with Nick and his family in Australia, but I think Tess is too much of a narc to let either of them develop a healthy relationship with the other. That would take too much power away from her.

/end autistic sperg
This sounds great but that would require Tess and Nick to use their brains and plan ahead, which they're clearly not capable of doing.

Might be late cause I don't have enough time to religiously follow every one of my lolcows, but what happened to her overpriced vegan meal plan? Did the sponsorship run out? Did the white yuppie owners realize she devours tons of garbage aside from bird food so she's not gonna lose any weight?
 
Sorry that I don't have time, but I've got an event I have to make in 6 minutes. Only have time for a very, very quick observation.

Screen Shot 2020-08-24 at 7.47.12 PM.png

I want to draw attention to this photo, specifically the handles on that cabinet/whatever the fuck it is behind her. And her arm position. And the fall of that fabric. Let's compare.
Screen Shot 2020-08-24 at 7.47.40 PM.png

So now the handle on that drawer is MUCH smaller than it used to be. Her arm is faded and actually transparencied over the cabinet. And the fabric is making a very unnatural dip with weird smoothing going on.
Screen Shot 2020-08-24 at 7.48.01 PM.png

This region is so awkward. As is the FUCKING PERFECTLY STRAIGHT LINE right above the circle that I see now that I'm typing this.
 
If Tess had a scrap of decency she would let Bowie go live with Nick. Nick is a jerk but Aus is a great place to raise a kid. Not that Tess keeps Bowie about cos she cares, she just wants to troon him out ASAP for Kuhweer points.
I think she keeps him around so she can still qualify for state services, and to get child support from Nick.
 
This sounds great but that would require Tess and Nick to use their brains and plan ahead, which they're clearly not capable of doing.

Might be late cause I don't have enough time to religiously follow every one of my lolcows, but what happened to her overpriced vegan meal plan? Did the sponsorship run out? Did the white yuppie owners realize she devours tons of garbage aside from bird food so she's not gonna lose any weight?

The owners of the vegan meal plans likely got pissed that Tess bragged about eating a bunch of sheet cake afterwards. Like Tess just couldn’t keep her powder dry and lie about losing weight from it, much like she lies about everything else.
 

That first picture has me thinking IHOP or Uncle Johns for all you vintage coffeeshop lovers out there.
Visited that charcuterie insta. Christ, how financially irresponsible can someone be? This is worse than that other hipster reetard vegan site that she was shilling. Go to Schnucks or a Meijers, buy a bunch of shit. Take the shit home. Arrange the shit. Done--and for a fraction of the cost.
I mean--how does anyone know that the instathot running this company isn't just going to the Dollar Tree or Save A Lot anyway?
 
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That first picture has me thinking IHOP or Uncle Johns for all you vintage coffeeshop lovers out there.
Visited that charcuterie insta. Christ, how financially irresponsible can someone be? This is worse than that other hipster reetard vegan site that she was shilling. Go to Schnucks or a Meijers, buy a bunch of shit. Take the shit home. Arrange the shit. Done--and for a fraction of the cost.
I mean--how does anyone know that the instathot running this company isn't just going to the Dollar Tree or Save A Lot anyway?
Some grocery stores make it even easier by having pre-made meat and cheese platters. This type of stuff, like Sakara, is marketed towards the influencers (the curatedspread website even asks for your Instagram handle before you order). The only way I can think of this being near worth it would be if you were having a big party at your house (as in 20+) and needed something quick because of working on other details for the event (this kind of party being the kind that rich people and celebrities would throw, not Tess). Knowing Tess, I could see her single handedly eating the entire spread within two days.
 
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