Apple's App Store art is fucking horrendous | Flat art / Alegria / Corporate Memphis - click for feet

[Celebrate Nite]

>when all your hard work breaking into the art world fails yet shit like this is allowed

I hate life.

Don't feel bad. You can always create a group of nationalists that can change things for the better and become a well recognized leader for it.

 

[Thumb Butler]

You are posting on a forum that was founded by people who laugh at this artwork:
View attachment 1549721

The CD artwork is amazing though. Probably my all time favorite.

 

[Marissa Moira]

That grab a moment of zen picture was clearly made by a foot fetishist.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

That grab a moment of zen picture was clearly made by a foot fetishist.

And a Kira-level hand lover.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

So you're mad because the art for a soulless corporation's app store doesn't please your eyes?

its questions like these that help you understand why China and Apple are laughing at us and Apple’s consumer base

also:

 

[raspberry mocha]

The Apple thread's full of people (like me) sperging about their products, while this has more general appeal. I guess this thread could be shifted into a general thread about shitty corporate art.

Plus, it keeps going, and I don't wanna flood the Apple thread with more and more garbage App Store art.

Like this one:
View attachment 1549643

where I can't even tell what the guy behind the countertop is doing

(bonus: J.J. Abrams cited as producing Lost, not Star Wars, hahahahahahaha)

lol how hard is it for these interns to use the guide tool? They must be using MSPaint to make this shit. Does aligning things correctly trigger designers' anxiety?

 

[Bland Crumbs]

It's pretty bad. Why are they promoting obesity since all the human are massive?

Fat people are easier to manipulate and once they have Type II Deebeetus it is easier to convince them they should get economy crashing free healthcare.

 

[A Friendly Hoovy]

You're an artist looking to go pro. You could either:

A) Put your time into learning how to draw properly, studying anatomy and colour theory while building up your own style

oooooor...

B) Learn how to manipulate basic shapes in Illustrator and create ten ads an hour, securing a massive bonus from Daddy Corporation and destroying any hope you had for artistic integrity.

Postmodernism is cancer and needs to die.

 

[Basil II]

You are posting on a forum that was founded by people who laugh at this artwork:
View attachment 1549721

This is unironically better, you can tell CWC put effort into it and cares about it, as autistic as it may be.

 

[Dojima's Dragon]

>when all your hard work breaking into the art world fails yet shit like this is allowed

I hate life.

Hitler agrees with you

 

[Pissmaster]

This is unironically better, you can tell CWC put effort into it and cares about it, as autistic as it may be.

It really is. It's clear exactly what the characters are doing, and even Sonichu leaning towards the camera is clearly depicted. Even details like the piano keys and the design of Sonic and Sonichu's shoes are present, while the clothes in the Apple characters are just solid-color shapes. Even the stage and screen are depicted well enough to show where they are, rather than in another solid-color void with a floating window.

You know you have no business making art if even CWC's can run circles around yours. Holy shit.

 

[Irrational Exuberance]

One of the major downsides of capitalism is that it has a tendency to fucking ruin the soul and spirit of anything it touches. You cannot package and sell great art, so it's worthless. But you can package shitty, disposable media that masks itself as art. Just churn that shit out and who gives a fuck if the west is watching its spirit be raped in front of its eyes. Better to push out 400 episodes of some shitty comedy that trying to find true art and help that grow.

No surprise that not much we produce will ever survive the test of time. In 1000 years shit the Greeks wrote will still be studied and venerated. Think fucking anything on television currently will still be talked about? Think Ann Coulter's latest heap of shit book will grace the same halls as the classics?

This art you hate is just the art we deserve. Disposable, pointless, emotionally vacant art for a people who sold their souls to the machine.

And the worst part about this is any attempt to fix these errors are met with "oh you fucking commie bastard!". One failed system against another. Notice that the west has the lowest level of religion and spirituality, we are in the grave.

Do you truly believe that the soul that brings forth true art is dead? It exists in every person, though only a select few hear it, and even fewer respond. But even in a corporate-choked environment, art that enlightens and revives the soul can and inevitably will be made. The Machine must occasionally power down for repairs. The Muse never stops speaking.

 

[Ira the Weatherman]

Apple is fucking horrendous

Fixed that for you.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Probably made by people willing to work for almost nothing.

 

[White bubblegum]

I listed the implications in my post right above yours. The art is horrifying rather than just shitty, because it provides insight.

I was talking to the OP, not you. You actually made good points besides "eww fat people"

 

[orelpuppington]

the facebook clipart is awful too. i think its made by the same person

 

[augment]

You expect quality from apple.
Why are you wasting everyone's precious oxygen.

 

[Dan Abrams]

Every time I check out the App Store, it’s a new drawing of a morbidly obese black person. I thought with the Apple Watch and stuff Apple was pro-health and fitness? Why do they keep shoving fat black people in my face?

 

[⠠⠠⠅⠑⠋⠋⠁⠇⠎ ⠠⠠⠊⠎ ⠠⠠⠁ ⠠⠠⠋⠁⠛]

The past year I started intentionally doing a terrible job with some low level quick commissions that I figured I could fuck with without my rep being hurt and my clients still ate that shit up.

Furries will buy anything.

 

[Ponchik]

lol this shit's gotten under my skin lately

it's as if soulless mid-2010s flat design (metro, material design, etc) started gestating for a few years, bloated the fuck up, grew softer edges, and started rapidly spawning these ugly featureless facsimiles of humans in a horribly misguided attempt to differentiate itself. graphic design firms and the corporatocracy have been absolutely fucking obsessed with these things for years now and it seems like everybody else is only just now noticing - i didn't realize flat humans were fucking everywhere until discord moved away from being a "we're gamers uwu" platform and slapped fake calarts characters all over their front page

this is obviously just an attempt at "shaking things up" in the graphic design space, giving 20 something interns low-effort work for way too much goddamn pay, giving silicon valley execs an excuse to not hire large design teams by doing the bare minimum (there's an old collage that's gone around featuring an anon claiming to be an ex-microsoft dev who says that the higher ups designed the win8/10 ui in powerpoint), and simultaneously making these corps look inoffensive and inclusive, by giving these freak flat humans with giraffe necks vaguely brown skin colors and tumblr hips

i have a schizo gut feeling that lead graphic designers (aka bugmen) slowly realized that flat design is inherently boring, cold, and depressing, so to "evolve" it they decided that bumping up the saturation in photoshop, rounding all of the corners and adding FUN, DIVERSE, RELATABLE """humans""" to the mix and slapping them onto every goddamn online "service" like flex tape would magically solve everything. mozilla in particular seems to adore this garbage (btw download pale moon)

and yet i've gone through articles like this one and this one and nobody knows what the fuck to call these things. facebook calls it "alegria" design, eli schiff's twitter is named "humans of flat" (i've seen his name a few times before but i had no idea graphic designers with blue checkmarks got his account nuked for railing against this shit over several years), a few people are disparaging this look by calling it "corporate memphis" design, i've seen a few twitter far-left types calling them "neoliberal vector illustrations" (which are apparently evolving into "bougie design aesthetics"), and there are vector packs like "whoosh!" and "humaaans" which lets every y-combinator startup use these slender man looking asses on their trendy RESPONSIVE website for absolutely free!

although "art" like this has been commonplace for years and flat design has been the norm for nearly a decade, not once do i remember seeing someone other than the interns being paid to churn out shit like this actually saying that they genuinely preferred simplified flatshit. maybe it's just classic internet contrarianism, but if anything, i'm seeing a small but obsessive contingent of zoomers pining for raw beveled 90s tech aesthetics and webcore and that glossy futuristic y2k aesthetic that i seriously doubt microsoft, apple, google and amazon will ever actually try to replicate with any form of sincerity.

a couple months ago i learned about a myspace clone called friendproject and last week i just learned it had been briefly swarmed by tiktok normies. a few of these dickweeds labeled it "unsafe" because it was founded by evil christian fundies, but from personal experience, i know there's a surprisingly large number of spergs from the late 90s and early 2000s trying to tap into early web culture and revive it (neocities, etc..) - some of it is ideological, some of it is out of pure boredom, and a good deal of it is fake as all hell, but i'm at least convinced that we're beginning to see a much more public wave of backlash towards orwellian flatshit and condescending, gangly, inclusive "humans". i'm confident silicon valley billionaries will (assuming they haven't been publicly guillotined) move on as 2020s culture begins to shift and they'll cultivate an aesthetic that looks even more repulsive.

just sit back and imagine a world without smartphones... just let me have my indulgent pre-9/11 cyberutopia