DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[_XXIII_]

Just rejoining the veritable jamboree of dogshit that is DSP after his Vest streak finished.

The fucking brass balls on this guy suddenly concerned about making some changes to his stream quality based off not getting another $100 to add to his $27k.

He's been lambasted for this for fucking years and made no attempt to update his streams and bring them up to the 21st century - claiming he didn't do gimmicks and copy what the mainstream streamers were doing. If he does it now, as much as I'm glad he's finally putting some effort in, I hope he gets absolutely hosed down after all his protestations. He'll probably claim he was too poor / depressed / too 'real' to attempt it.

But who am I kidding, after all his hype about redesigning the layout of his room (which Kiwi Farms kindly made floor plans for him years ago in an attempt to fix his shit) I bet his exciting new change is that he's got a new cushion that isn't covered in arse sweat and he's added a new square of 'absolutely impossible to remove' soundproofing foam.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

What I find funny is how Phil, the man who demands at least a week long celebration for his birthday, couldn't even give Kat a few days where he pretended to care about hers. Wasn't this her 30th too? You just know he was focused on the end of the vest streak and coming up with new toys to buy for his office. Then again, given he spent his wedding night obsessing over detractors instead of focusing on his wife, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise.

 

[ReentryPhantom]

What I find funny is how Phil, the man who demands at least a week long celebration for his birthday, couldn't even give Kat a few days where he pretended to care about hers. Wasn't this her 30th too? You just know he was focused on the end of the vest streak and coming up with new toys to buy for his office. Then again, given he spent his wedding night obsessing over detractors instead of focusing on his wife, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise.

I'm pretty positive his "sick days" were celebration days for her birthday

 

[Nixxit]

This whole fiasco is so funny because it's a perfect illustration of Phil's greed and laziness.

If he hadn't asked for an extra 200$, the streak would most likely have continued. Even asking for an extra 200$, he could have added a new goal for that extra money (Such as more vests as people suggested) instead of pushing the vest streak back to 300$ total, and it would likely have continued.

He ended the vest streak, possibly missing on his daily 200$ in the future and causing him to panic like rarely before, for 200 dollars right now. Modern golden goose story.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

I have never had an ear infection before so I may be off base here, but wouldn't lifting a loveseat put pressure on your infected and potentially TORN eardrum?

It also strains the swimsuit area,which Phil ravaged all weekend looking at 29 Star Hulk Hogan peenercards, jerking it like it's the end of the world.

 

[Satoi]

I just love how him not getting enough money is what motivates him to reconsider the basics of his stream setup.

NOT the fact that his stream is completely unwatchable garbage compared to everyone else.
NOT the fact that his viewers constantly give advice how to improve the stream.
NOT the fact that you don't even need to have a specific reason to want to improve your own stream

And of course, the "fresh start" is gonna turn out to be even lower effort than your most pessimistic expectations anyway and entirely not worth it.
This is all textbook Phil

 

[Iron Hamster]

Wait. Is this whole fake sickness was a scam to get a new sofa they bought on his day off? I will be very disappointed if there is no greenscreen today.

View attachment 1581692

the fool! now how is he going to take off a random weekend that he doesn't feel like working if he can't use the old 'feeling sick' standby?

You will notice the one thing he didn't mention cleaning is the greasy body actually housing the alleged infection.

 

[DZoomer]

It saddens me how the paypigs and whales don't see how much funnier it is to see Phil running around desperately like he's doing right now. Look at how hard he's trying to show how things will be better next stream. Smug, comfortable Phil is the worst. Desperate, not getting what he wants Phil is the best.

It's a shame that next stream he will most likely be showered with money.

 

[GunnlaugurSassoon]

This is fucking disgusting. Why would he post this? That mold is absolutely inside the walls. How the hell does someone let their house get this disgusting.

 

[ReentryPhantom]

View attachment 1582396

This is fucking disgusting. Why would he post this? That mold is absolutely inside the walls. How the hell does someone let their house get this disgusting.

It'd be a shame if someone informed the home association. I remember reading the rules he has to abide by at his HOA. There was one where the granite counters had to be cleaned a certain way at certain time intervals. You want to gamble that he hasn't done it?

EDIT
HOA rules about his granite countertop. To be fair, he may not have one, I forget.

 

[Optimus Prime]

View attachment 1582396

This is fucking disgusting. Why would he post this? That mold is absolutely inside the walls. How the hell does someone let their house get this disgusting.

Phil whines about mere hundreds of dollars.

The amount it's going to require to fix his mold infested crumbling home is going to easily approach thousands. If he had any economic sense then this wouldn't be an issue given how much he makes monthly from his idiot followers.

Of course, if Phil had economic sense, then he wouldn't be Phil, now would he?

 

[Draventren]

This is gonna be a long one:

I am so excited for him to play through all of THPS 1+2 just for the TIHYDP. You guys talk about how shit he is at handling any vehicles in games, but it is so much more a fundamental problem. You can see it in most 3-D platformers he plays, even in some 2-D ones: he doesn't understand basic physics. I don't mean basic physics like load distribution, or basic dynamics, or anything like that. I mean things that are intuitive to our mobility. For instance, how often in platformers does he complain about the game moving by itself? I'm immediately drawn to all the times in his SM64 run where he bitched that when he jumped, he would land near an edge, and the momentum from the jump would carry him forward and off the ledge, because that force needs to go somewhere. It's fucking fascinating to me because he somehow manages to not understand shit that you experience daily and you automatically correct for. Like, if you go down stairs too fast and you pitch forward at the last step cause you're trying to stop yourself to quickly, or you're driving and you feel the tangential and normal forces pushing you when you take a corner. This is shit that we all just sort of know and account for, either by experience or just natural balance.

THPS is all about working with that momentum and being able to figure out quickly what will and will not fly. It works so well because it's so intuitive. Like, falling back into a half-pipe after doing a grab, if you land with the board perpendicular to the direction you're falling rather than aligned, you're going to eat shit. He somehow doesn't understand basic concepts like that in anything, and because of that any game that is purely built around an engine that plays with physics is always going to slaughter him.

I genuinely wonder if all his swaying and rocking have affected his understanding of balance and momentum somehow, or if he was just always that retarded. I would pay for a camera to see how he walks up and down stairs because holy shit it must be an adventure every time.

 

[Very Honest Content]

If I'm remembering the priorities for 'stream improvement' Phil was harping on during his tip goal streak, seating was first, then green screen, so there may be a chance of a "Jasper in space" image on the late streams now, which I'll admit I would find entertaining.

Did the couch get completely tossed or just moved to Kat's room? (If it's still in the WahKhando the degenerate part of me wonders who got boned bent over the thing though, Kat bent over it by Phil or Phil bent over it by Kat while she pegged him with the red vest on as the greatest matches of Hulk Hogan was played on the bluray player?)

 

[Iron Hamster]

View attachment 1582396

This is fucking disgusting. Why would he post this? That mold is absolutely inside the walls. How the hell does someone let their house get this disgusting.

Didn't he pay extra for the mold?

 

[Providence Backing_21]

I hope he gets another ear infection in a few weeks, like a legit one, not a fake wwe staycation one

I'm hoping for gout of the middle ear might need a week off to get that removed.

 

[FamicomGorby]

Wait. Is this whole fake sickness was a scam to get a new sofa they bought on his day off? I will be very disappointed if there is no greenscreen today.

View attachment 1581692

If he even got an ear infection it's cause he doesn't fuckin wash properly, it's not magically floating around his awwfice. Looks like mold in there though, which would result in respiratory issues and not an ear infection.

 

[JPG]

Looks like mold in there though, which would result in respiratory issues and not an ear infection.

Like constant snorting?

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

Phil is such a shut in, I imagine his immune system would be compromised if he cleaned his office completely. Like a gouty bubbleboy.

 

[Schmeckel]

Phil is such a shut in, I imagine his immune system would be compromised if he cleaned his office completely. Like a gouty bubbleboy.

If someone sanitized his "office" at any point in time, it would be immeasurably compromised the instant he walked his gouty ass back in.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

View attachment 1582396

This is fucking disgusting. Why would he post this? That mold is absolutely inside the walls. How the hell does someone let their house get this disgusting.

Oof. That's really bad. How did that much mold happen? Is it that humid in WA? Or does he have a leak in the roof? If that's an interior wall, the mold has definitely crawled up the inside of the wall and likely has spread to the wall opposite of it due to no insulation. That's just.. That's a man who doesn't know what the fuck he is looking at and doesn't give a shit about caring for his belongings. His house is literally rotting and he can't even see it. That's just fucking sad. Shit like that gets to me. There are people out there hustling for their lives in a bachelor apartment and then there is this shitdick that fate shat out two households and a six figure income that he couldn't give a fuck about outside of the illusion of success it grants him.

Delete the posts about mold. Phil reads these forums, and eventually, if you give mold enough time to grow (and he will), they become toxic. Fucking poetic. Killed by his own house because of his sloth.