Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[Crankenstein]

I was invited to a party with a group of people I was not exactly familiar with. Upon arrival I was called to the back yard where the beverages and herbal party favors were being consumed. An underclassman I knew fairly well was there, I went over to chat with him and the group he was with. Among them was a lady I quite fancied. The evening went on, the party goers and I shared anecdotes, "what-if" scenarios, "would-you-rathers", and "never-haveI-evers". It was quite enjoyable and may humorous things were done. At one point, we were taking turns standing and performing impressions of people well known to us; individuals from school, famous people, meme folks, things of the ilk, when my turn came. When we were taking places for this event I had positioned myself; cleverly, next to lady I fancied from earlier with a plan to act out the scene from the Princess Bride; a movie I had known she was quite the fan of, where Buttercup and Wesley kiss after rolling down the hill, and use her as my partner for the scene. Well, as I stood and began rotating to face the lady, the underclassman I knew came up and pantsed me.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Private Highschools here usually have a Pre-graduation party which is kinda like a fundraiser for the Post-graduation party that its a lot fancier. They charge money for entry and its not like an american prom or anything where it all happens inside the school, these take place in night venues and are legit parties with booze and djs and no supervision because this is spicland were people are retarded and laws are not properly enforced.

For some idiotic reason i can't possibly understand today i decided that it was a good idea to go to our promotion's pre-graduationg party, bad mistake. See, i hate parties, i am very amicable one on one but i am terrible in gatherings and noisy places and i hated 95% of people from my school. Even the few kids i did get along with ignored me completely and were doing other stuff with other people , like dancing and drinking or talking with his more fun friends, i was not even in very good terms with my best friends of that time. It was painfully obvious i didn't belong there and no one wanted me there and i didn't wanted to be there so i don't even know why i fucking went, none of the other spergy or not very social kids went because they had more sense than me.

So i was the retard of the evening, doing nothing, just standing there in that small, crowded noisy place with no one to talk to, only looking at my watch waiting for the hours to pass with all the people i hated the most having the time of their lives in front of me and even friends giving me the cold shoulder. I could not even leave early as i had no way of doing so, i was counting on one of the people i came in with to give me a ride home after the party ended. So from 7 pm to 3 am in the morning i was just there, in the corner, doing jack shit, i only was approached the whole night by some douchebags who mocked me, someone from the dance floor even threw a cup with beer that splash near me. It was one of the most akwards night i ever had, it was terrible and grueling, i even thought i was gonna get ditched in that fucking place, found out later that i almost was but the ones with the idea of leaving me there got outvoted and eventually gave in and volunteered to give me the ride i was promised. this place was was near a really dangerous part of one of the most dangerous cities in the world btw, with no public transport and no taxis so yeah, they almost left me there to be killed in the night trying to walk back home in Caracas at 4 am, many kms from where i live.

Needles to say, i did not attend the Post-graduation party, in fact i wanted to pick up my diploma through the office and not go to the event, only went to the graduation ceremony because my godmother pushed me to go and take the stupid fucking picture for posterity.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

Every four years, my high school had some sort of "Drunk Driving Day", where there would be a few events going on: a big assembly where some of the teachers had their lives affected by a drunk driver, complete with a few slideshow photos. One teacher lost her father when she was fairly young to a drunk driver--the father was a police officer killed in the line of duty, helping out a disabled vehicle on a foggy day with his partner on the force, when a drunk driver veered off the road and hit them both. Another big feature of this was an outdoor event in which the aftereffects of a car crash was staged, complete with a wrecked car, stage blood, emergency vehicles, using the "jaws of life", someone arrested and hauled off, and a helicopter (the makeshift landing pad for the helicopter drawn on the road remained for months afterward).

The final part was how some "x" percentage of high schoolers (or something) died in drunk driving, so an appropriate number of people were pulled from classes (we had a huge high school, graduating class was like 650-700 with the total population over 2000). The "missing" people apparently went to some PTO person's house and talked about drunk driving (I don't exactly remember the details). The problem was that the people "missing" were all the Student Council types, so it was unusually high profile. I remember in Spanish class, we "mourned" the sudden "death" of everyone's favorite Indian guy, Ranjan (not his real name), but he was just called out to do the grand finale, where the "missing" students walked through the hallways with white face paint, signifying their "death" (Ranjan just did the makeup).

The "drunk driving" day hit my sister particularly hard (the "drama" is pretty distressing to watch, and hearing about family members getting killed is never a fun time) when she was in high school some years earlier but I seem to remember that the shock value of the staged wreck was largely undone by the "missing students" which was full of cheese and a light-hearted conversation about who "died" recently.

Someone I went to High School with just posted about this the other day, we had a huge dumb assembly that was more or less exactly like this. It started out with a police officer coming into our class and telling us that a student had been killed by a drunk driver the night before- my poor teacher broke down in tears. Even after the cop or some other kid I don't remember, read this whole spiel about "this student didn't really die, but we're pretending they did because something", my teacher was still so shaken by the very idea that girl could be gone that she had to have her teacher's aide finish the lesson for her.
The fake car crash was actually infuriating for me because I can't imagine how much money the school dumped into the whole facade. My art teacher had to use her own money to buy us supplies because the school was too stingy to let her buy paint. And somehow they had the cash to hire a helicopter for this dumb assembly?( That actually didn't show up, it was supposed to and we waited 30 minutes for one. ) My school also managed to find the money to send nearly the whole school to Disneyland every year. But nah, fuck the art department.

 

[Broseph]

I got in trouble for punching the retarded kid after he spit on me.

Storytime?

 

[Scrim]

Storytime?

Retard acting like retard near me. Tell him to go be retarded some place else. Rees and spits on me. Punch him in face and head. Suspended for a couple of days (mandatory for any fighting, even when assaulted). Retard never acts like a retard near me ever again.

 

[WeDon'tNeedToWhisper]

In middle school I scored this elective that everyone wanted. It was print shop which consisted of me, one other student and the teacher. Basically we made a shit ton of copies, stapled, hole punch, etc. for teachers and staff who couldn't do it themselves, apparently. It was really easy and the guy running it was chill, and you got to deliver to classrooms sometimes. Anyway, that's not even the story.

There was this boy who was a grade or two younger than me (I was in 8th grade) who I thought was cute so I started flirting with him and we'd talk on instant messenger and through e-mail. He had sent me this e-mail asking if he could touch my boob at school (it never happened) and said some other cringe stuff. Then, I come to find out he's all of a sudden dating his ex gf again. Ummm, ok... naturally, I'm pissed.

So I print off the embarrassing e-mail at home and take it to school, specifically into print shop. The teacher left the room at some point and I made a bunch of copies of that cringy e-mail he had sent me. When the bell rang I go out into the hallway, copies in hand, and just start tossing a few pages here and there as I walked to my next class.

Obviously, they were seen by a majority of the students. One teacher asked me if I was OK, if I was being harassed. I never got in trouble either.
Sadly, I found out years later that he died of a drug overdose which was really shocking because he was a good boy, at least when I knew him.
A lot of people died after high school, from drug overdoses, suicide, freak accidents, car accidents, drowning, etc. I imagine that's somewhat typical though, maybe.

I have a lot of stories from school and not school, especially. I was bullied by jealous bitches, got detention and suspended more then I should have.
My first suspension was in 6th grade because I put a thumbtack with the pointy side up on my math teachers chair. That was totally blown out of proportion.

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

back in middle school, the delinquents would sometime burn the trash can around school so the fire alarm would go off. everyone was forced out and had to wait until the fire was under control. it always happened every 2 months or so and it was always on rainy or snowy days and most were forced to wait around without jackets.

 

[Big Nasty]

Back in the Gothic King Cobra thread, someone commented that there is a "Josh" in every high school.

Back in my high school we had "The Cock" (his last name was Koch). When I joined the Air Force, he also went to the same base. He wanted to be a dog handler for base security but he made such a complete fool of himself in basic so they put him on some kind of groundskeeper duty at the gun range and then discharged him.

 

[Broseph]

Back in the Gothic King Cobra thread, someone commented that there is a "Josh" in every high school.

Back in my high school we had "The Cock" (his last name was Koch). When I joined the Air Force, he also went to the same base. He wanted to be a dog handler for base security but he made such a complete fool of himself in basic so they put him on some kind of groundskeeper duty at the gun range and then discharged him.

The "Josh" at my school was this asshole who always picked on me because he was a bitter manlet jock and I was over six feet tall, but of course back then I was too wimpy to do anything about it.

 

[Keyboard Spammer]

Three stories;

In elementary school I got a panic attack from a wasp trying to attack me (I have a severe phobia and I’m possibly allergic) and the autist kid next to me started laughing at me, I immediately stopped being scared and just took my binder and whacked him, his watcher then started yelling at me so I got sent to the office, I told them I saw the wasp on him so I “gathered enough bravery to kill it” and they believed me.

Skip to middle school for the last two;

Some autist Kyle was running around in circles near my lunch table, so obviously uncomfortable, I squished myself up against the table and started having an anxiety attack (Yes, I’m terrified of autistic people) then suddenly the dumb fucking kid RUNS INTO AN INDUSTRIAL FAN and knocks it down, it was so fucking loud I swear it echoed through the school. Everyone stared at him, and after that day we never saw him again.

Now slightly after that, there was an autismo girl who was on the lunch line, now my fat ass wanted to buy some cookies cause I was hungry, and this fucking bitch starts yodel-screaming And runs to the cookie tray and grabs it, then fucking throws it to the ground, ruining all of the food, I was so fucking pissed at her and I wanted to scream, but I was and still am tiny, and she was fucking gigantic for some reason, so I didn’t wanna be thrown across the lunchroom by some blonde gorilla.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

(Yes, I’m terrified of autistic people)

The fuck you doing here?

 

[Dante Alighieri]

The fuck you doing here?

Exposure therapy

 

[Meat Target]

Sounds like you and I went to middle school around the same time, some of that really hit home hahaha and yeah we had a step team as well but only black girls could join.

My middle school had regular talent shows but I was in a program that focused on performance and stuff so there were more people who participated. The girls singing N*SYNC to a CD was a real deja vu moment lol. One of the dance groups that peformed did a full dance routine to "Rumpshaker" (I have the tape of their performance that I would love to convert and upload) and you could tell they didn't practice much and only one girl knew the entire routine. Her name was Kelli. Kelli was the dancer in the middle of the five girls. At one point she stepped in front of the other girls and started shaking her boobs (reminder this was middles school and she was 13) and right before the end of the song their other girls just stopped dancing altogether because they forgot what to do. Kelli turned around and got into sort of an open-leg push-up position and twerked and all the middle school boys went crazy, yelling and whistling and smacking the lunchroom tables. I've never seen anything like it before or since. Because they wanted to sell tapes of the performance after the fact for fundraising the very end of the performance was cut off but the rest of it is definitely there

In elementary school, two geeky guys (one of whom I struck up a friendship with in college) tried to do karate for a talent show.

The other geek kid had to keep kicking a board, and it wouldn't break. Must have been embarrassing for him.

I always dreaded talent show day. Like your guys's, it was being forced to watch sheer cringe.

 

[NerdShamer]

The fuck you doing here?

The more important question is why are they around so many tards in school?

 

[Biek Fowler]

Oh god I have so many stupid moments to talk about.
- A kid got sent to the principal's office and so on the way he tried to slam the door. He kinda screwed it up and the slam wasn't that loud so he walks back into class and then re-slams the door. I remember finding it really funny because he looked so happy with himself.
- I got sent to the principals for bullying because I told a kid to go away. He kept looking over my shoulder at the book I was reading and I told him to stop. The principal told me to try and be friends with him but I never even spoke to him again.
- This ones the best one honestly, a personal lolcow. "He" was in my Multicultural Studies class and sat behind me for a few weeks. One day they asked if I would join the LGBT club because I made a passing comment about being a fag. I said yes because honestly I felt bad, mistakes were made. Not a single biological male was in that club, even though that school had lots of gay dudes. All lesbians, asexuals, or nonbinarys so I stood out. At these clubs you have to introduce with your sexuality and pronouns. I forget her sexulaity but I do remember her pronouns. He/him and Fae/Faer. I never went back to the club. They would also rudely correct my teacher with the "right" pronouns, even though she didn't even try to pass. I moved to the back of the class to avoid her because would always try to talk to me during class. Our class took a field trip to China Town and they insisted in bringing a walking cane, they used it all day. I wasn't there to see it but they yelled at an assembly by calling the speaker homophobic. Why? Because they made a joke about Chick-fil-A. They were a senior so I only got to witness their stupidity for one year, I was a sophomore. I wish I got to see more honestly...

Edit: Forgot to mention that their new name sounded like a chicks name even though they said they were a dude, that it all

 

[Chan Fan]

When I was in college I was part of a small theater group. It was lame, not a good experience. The most interesting things that happened were the fact that the theater was haunted and the fact that one of the girls there had a legit stalker. I'll be talking about the latter of the two.

One of the girls who had been with the group for a long time started dating one of the guys and right after that she began getting letters in the mail. It was a lot of "I see you, I know what you're doing" type stuff and she was very scared. One of the letters for a little too detailed about something that happened and the girl figured out who it was - another guy in the theater group who was jealous that she was dating someone else. Apparently the guy never approached her in the first place to ask her out, just started writing her creepy letters. She was pretty sure it was the guy but wasn't 100% sure so at the next theater practice a meeting was called and her boyfriend stayed vague and said they were pretty sure they knew who the stalker was. He also said that if they got one more letter they were going to the police. Alleged stalker made up some reason that he had to leave practice early (despite the fact that he would usually stay and work on sets for hours, sometimes alone) and the letters stopped

 

[Keyboard Spammer]

The more important question is why are they around so many tards in school?

Small town, only 800 people in the entire school (faculty included) they had no choice but to put them with us, school was also probably money laundering so they were too poor to send them off to some special school.

 

[PimpKramer]

back in middle school, the delinquents would sometime burn the trash can around school so the fire alarm would go off. everyone was forced out and had to wait until the fire was under control. it always happened every 2 months or so and it was always on rainy or snowy days and most were forced to wait around without jackets.

In high school this emo girl would constantly pull the fire alarms, sending the entire school to the football field for evacuation and the further 15 minute processes involved. Worse yet is the alarms triggered some type of line to the local fire station which sent over a truck every time and I remember feeling bad for them because one time the driver had a look of "this shit again...". By mid year the school racked up something like 10 grand of fees to the fire station. Was ok for me though cause that was 20 minutes of no class.


Back in the equivalent of late elementary school every fortnight on Fridays the final year classes had a program called "Jigsaw" where one of the higher ups would come in the final hour block and use it to discuss issues, feelings, gossip and all that bullshit but about a third of the time they were straight up struggle sessions. Since my class had the bad tempered, power tripping vice principal those were always a treat. This one time the issue was about this annoying autistic manlet, his anger issues and why he brought a slingshot to school. As the vp introduced the topic this kid was stunned and just took it silently until it was time for the class' input where most played up how his aggression towards them made them feel scared and I stirred the pot a bit more by noting that slingshots are illegal and that he "could be in really big trouble". Over that time his face was getting progressively redder, bawling and he started hissing at people.

As he was choking back tears he was apologizing, saying he went to the school's anger management and started listing names of other kids who attended with him which prompted the vp to tell him to shut up. I didn't feel bad since he was the biggest teacher's pet dicksucker during these programs, chiming in with dumb agreements as well as getting others in trouble over something he started in other classes because the teachers didn't want to properly wrangle him.

In retrospect these sessions were actually unnecessarily cruel and the staff were retarded for thinking they were a good idea.

 

[Weeb Slinger]

I attended an hilariously violent comprehensive school in the UK.

We were once taught how to use the lathes in metalwork class and immediately put this newfound practical skill to use by manufacturing throwing stars.

One of the walls to the building that housed the swimming pool was wooden, and was deemed a suitable venue for target practice. We lined up in front of it after school, the blood of our ancient ninja ancestry stirring in our young veins. Our makeshift shurikens made a pleasing sound as their points embedded themselves in the wood.

There was a boy called Timothy, who was later suspended for taking a shit in one of the lockers, in the portacabin where our form was based. I will never forget the horrifying moment when he bent down to pick a throwing star off the ground, and another throwing star slammed into the wall where his head had been a fraction of a second before.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

In elementary school, two geeky guys (one of whom I struck up a friendship with in college) tried to do karate for a talent show.

The other geek kid had to keep kicking a board, and it wouldn't break. Must have been embarrassing for him.

Lol a little brother of mine wanted to juggle (potatoes) to the tune of "Pokémon (Dance Mix)" (when we had the cassette tape) in elementary school. I think he actually did the audition, but obviously never made it in. I have no idea what he was thinking.

Also am holding you to your word @Chan Fan of converting the "Rumpshaker" vid someday.