Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / Yarrow Brown / the-ghost-fucker / transmascdruid / anarchoenby77 / darktwistedpussy / Druid of Endicot - Xe/xyr ghost-fucker, womb wizard, hand sanitizer sommelier, trans-boomer, violently abuses her elderly parents, has sexual fantasies about raping children

[Meowthkip]

Gotta say, bold choice for a grandma shirt from The Mountain, the people who blessed us with Three Wolf Moon. Some might wear a shirt like this with a hipster irony, but Steph just completely lacks any sense of irony at all, which just makes the shirt itself all the more fitting for her.

Of course this is the kind of shirt she would wear unironically. She looks more at home in a shirt like this than anything with her LGBT/Satanic/witchy bullshit on it. It's cloyingly saccharine, and doesn't cover her selfish and petty personality, but rather enhances it.

She was born to wear shirts like this.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

Gotta say, bold choice for a grandma shirt from The Mountain, the people who blessed us with Three Wolf Moon. Some might wear a shirt like this with a hipster irony, but Steph just completely lacks any sense of irony at all, which just makes the shirt itself all the more fitting for her.
She was born to wear shirts like this.

Man, I was about to make a Three Wolf Moon joke but you beat me to it. It's even better if it legit does come from the same company, they sure do have that certain 'aging cat mom who hangs those photo-printed saucers on the wall' aesthetic down pat, huh?

My favorite thing of this look is the return of the diarrhea-yellow eyeshadow. It still looks like she was a sped playing makeup with her own poop, and frankly knowing Stapph I guess that's not far from being truth in advertising.

...Ngl I kinda want Stapphy to totally get her nonprofit going, the idea of some wee tumblrtrans showing up at their door to bitch about some nonissue, only to find this behind the desk and realize this is their future if they keep down this path is magical.

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

People Who Wear "The Mountain" Shirts Starter Pack:

- Usually brown hair, often thinning, badly styled
- If female, obese. If male, either obese or uncomfortably thin.
- If facial hair is present, it's patchy and ill-groomed
- Bad teeth
- Claims to love nature
- Buys a plastic twelve-pack of soda from Walmart weekly and doesn't recycle
- Probably likes Lord of the Rings
- Smells either like BO or like ferrets/cat box
- May smoke weed; if so it is out of a glass pipe bought from a gas station and never cleaned
- If they smoke cigarettes it is probably American Spirits
- High chance of being/having been a Horse Girl if female
- High chance of owning or wanting to own a sword if male
- Birkenstocks or Tevas, or knockoffs
- More likely to wear sweatpants than jeans
- Considers Applebees to be a fancy restaurant where you'd take a hot date
- Owns at least one obese pet
- Likely lives with family who also wears The Mountain
- Their most exotic vacation was maximum two states away

 

[The Husbando Collector]

People Who Wear "The Mountain" Shirts Starter Pack:

- Usually brown hair, often thinning, badly styled
- If female, obese. If male, either obese or uncomfortably thin.
- If facial hair is present, it's patchy and ill-groomed
- Bad teeth
- Claims to love nature
- Buys a plastic twelve-pack of soda from Walmart weekly and doesn't recycle
- Probably likes Lord of the Rings
- Smells either like BO or like ferrets/cat box
- May smoke weed; if so it is out of a glass pipe bought from a gas station and never cleaned
- If they smoke cigarettes it is probably American Spirits
- High chance of being/having been a Horse Girl if female
- High chance of owning or wanting to own a sword if male
- Birkenstocks or Tevas, or knockoffs
- More likely to wear sweatpants than jeans
- Considers Applebees to be a fancy restaurant where you'd take a hot date
- Owns at least one obese pet
- Likely lives with family who also wears The Mountain
- Their most exotic vacation was maximum two states away

Spoiler: I just had to do it, also large image

 

[Meowthkip]

Man, I was about to make a Three Wolf Moon joke but you beat me to it. It's even better if it legit does come from the same company, they sure do have that certain 'aging cat mom who hangs those photo-printed saucers on the wall' aesthetic down pat, huh?

Or 13 year old who wants to wear a cool animal on their shirt or middle-aged white man with a ponytail at the county fair. I kind of love their shirts just for the sheer kitsch factor and have, at times when I am drunk and on the internet, put serious thought into buying one of their lesser well-known but equally ridiculous designs.

But yeah, she's like... actually is just an aging cat mom who would hang photo-printed saucers on the wall, which is weird to contemplate for regarding somebody who is actually slightly younger than I am.

 

[Don Dyker]

This is without irony the funniest shit I have ever seen in my life.

anyways as a dyke I’m waiting until I hit 50 to wear wolf and cat shirts exclusively but for all the money on earth I wouldn’t wear Steph’s ugly ass hats and pins

 

[Bojack Horsekin]

ngl, I like that print, it's cute as shit. I'd buy it on a seasonal pillow or something, not wear it. Lord no. Not til I'm 50, apparently

...I'll take my LotR boxset and see myself out.

Anyway, Staph trying to talk her parents into huffing herbs for their pain and getting assmad about their refusal is just so... her.

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

ngl, I like that print, it's cute as shit. I'd buy it on a seasonal pillow or something, not wear it. Lord no. Not til I'm 50, apparently

...I'll take my LotR boxset and see myself out.

Anyway, Staph trying to talk her parents into huffing herbs for their pain and getting assmad about their refusal is just so... her.

If The Mountain made, like, quilting fabric out of their designs or something, it would be cute.

 

[Ellesse_warrior]

Screw you guys I wear these shirts when I work out

 

[BoobWhiskers]

I kind of love their shirts just for the sheer kitsch factor and have, at times when I am drunk and on the internet, put serious thought into buying one of their lesser well-known but equally ridiculous designs.

I demand you contact one of those talented art Kiwis and get us a Three Meowthkip Moon design for next merch run.

...that was meant to be a joke but I'd totally unironically buy a version of Three Wolf Moon with Null's retarded wikihow dog. Shit.

 

[DatBepisTho]

Or 13 year old who wants to wear a cool animal on their shirt or middle-aged white man with a ponytail at the county fair. I kind of love their shirts just for the sheer kitsch factor and have, at times when I am drunk and on the internet, put serious thought into buying one of their lesser well-known but equally ridiculous designs.

But yeah, she's like... actually is just an aging cat mom who would hang photo-printed saucers on the wall, which is weird to contemplate for regarding somebody who is actually slightly younger than I am.

Ikr? Staph is close to my age as well and she just exudes this accepted the inevitable and has given up on life-kind of vibe from every physical pore that throws me off and makes me uncomfortable sometimes.

 

[Fancy Carstairs]

Screw you guys I wear these shirts when I work out at Dwight Schrute's Gym For Muscles

 

[Daughter of Cernunnos]

Ikr? Staph is close to my age as well and she just exudes this accepted the inevitable and has given up on life-kind of vibe from every physical pore that throws me off and makes me uncomfortable sometimes.

She never had a life to give up on. She's still passionate about many things like: foot jars, Mastodon, weeds, quack cancer cures for her mother and Wegman's subs.

 

[Miss Misery]

Well that's the first time I've seen her use THAT excuse.

No, you fucking retard, the hormone replacement therapy you're taking because you had a full hysterectomy at age 30 is NOT going to cause your breasts to grow back. It might cause some tissue regrowth but it would be less than a cup size and nothing like those huge saggy nofun bags you have hanging from your chest.

Just be honest and tell people you either don't want top surgery/breast reduction because you're not trans and/or you're scared of pain.

Staph's become a Reddit leprechaun.

No of course not. Why should Staph turn the cat toy on and encourage Pete to be active when he loves it just the way it is?

Seriously, does she know she's using a term that the SJW lesbians have mostly canceled because it's part of the butch/femme dynamic, which is largely based on the gender binary?

GRRRR CAPITALISM BAD! STAPH HATE CAPITALISM! RISE UP COMRADES AND SEIZE THE MEANS OF oooh Geico commercial... hur hur is funny, it got a witch in it...

Don't worry, everyone! Staph's fighting fascism and Trump on the astral plane with her gang of imaginary friends ghosts and demons beside her!

Wow, your dad sounds really funny and supportive. It would be horrible if someone liked to imagine him raping his own daughter.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Fucking hell, Staph. You're such a sad waste of skin. (FB stream link here.)

As I said the other day: Bring him inside, get a wand toy, and PLAY WITH HIM. Throwing a toy at him and not even turning it on is not going to help him lose weight.

HELLLLLA sick tracks, you guys.

 

[Don Dyker]

I'll fight magically

otherwise known as doing LITERALLY nothing. amazing.

few more quick hits:
-why the fuck are you saying "sieg heil" in the livestream??? that just??? makes you sound?? like a nazi?
-like seriously if you believe you're watching a nazi rally how does coming in with "sieg heil" convey anything but support?
-not sure what "fuck your cousins" means in this case either. like, "you fuck your cousins"? why not say "cousin-fuckers"? I'm so lost
-as a Real Life Lesbian(tm) "futch" is a fucking joke, Stephanie. nobody takes you seriously if you say that. you sound like if a dude started describing himself in the "generating an enormous amount of power" top/bottom dichotomy from always sunny

 

[Meowthkip]

HELLLLLA sick tracks, you guys.

They're not getting to the real issue of "Owner of a Lonely Heart."

 

[BoobWhiskers]

The dissonance between 'I'm not a girl I'm not I'm not I'm nottttttt' and 'here's the lesbian term I like to use for myself tee hee' in the same set of screencaps sure is typical Stapphy, huh?

Also I feel like most people's activism probably shouldn't involve enthusiastically typing 'Seig Heil' over and over at people, but what do I know... I'm not a professional activist or however she likes to describe that stuff these days. Wonder if she'll realize how questionable that looks and delete the tweet, or stay completely oblivious and leave it up to get hashtag-cancelled over at some future time?

 

[NoFeline]

lesbian term I like to use for myself

I'm pretty sure it's not even a lesbian term. I grew up around "WLW" and never heard it, and there's no evidence of the term even existing online prior to 2011. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's a really obscure thing, or regional, but as far as I've seen the baby gays on tumblr latched onto it for a meme, and that's pretty much it.

 

[Miss Misery]

I'm pretty sure it's not even a lesbian term. I grew up around "WLW" and never heard it, and there's no evidence of the term even existing online prior to 2011. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's a really obscure thing, or regional, but as far as I've seen the baby gays on tumblr latched onto it for a meme, and that's pretty much it.

I'm an old and it's been around a while.

 

[Don Dyker]

“Futch” is like...99% a joke