What dead celebrity would have a thread here if they were still around today?

[Smug Chuckler]

Adolf Hitler would have his own subforum.

 

[Chicken Picnic]

I think MJ would have had a decent amount of content to sustain for a while

 

[AmpleApricots]

Makes you think how many of the more eccentric historical figures would've been nobodies today because they'd end up spending all their energy on screaming their weird-ass views into a uncaring digital void instead of actually doing anything.

 

[Fromtheblackdepths]

L Ron Hubbard.

 

[Hellion]

H.P. Lovecraft.

Along the same lines, Edgar Allen Poe.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

Kurt Cobain, he'd likely constantly be virtue signalling on Twitter if he were still alive.

 

[Fromtheblackdepths]

Jim Jones

 

[Chi-com Soldier]

Hunter S Thompson

 

[Syaoran Li]

Along the same lines, Edgar Allen Poe.

Nah, I think Edgar Allan Poe would more likely be a KF shitposter or a Nick Rekieta figure

I agree that H.P. Lovecraft would be considered a lolcow. Same goes to L. Ron Hubbard

My personal picks of dead celebrities who'd be lolcows nowadays?

Kurt Cobain
Linda Lovelace
Jim Jones
L. Ron Hubbard
Marlene Dietrich
Bing Crosby
Eazy E

Jack Chick is pretty much the OG Lolcow who has the distinction of being a pre-internet lolcow, a major Web 1.0 lolcow, and was an active cow in the Web 1.5 and Web 2.0 eras, and was still producing milk years after his death thanks to the large backlog of tracts that he completed before his death and were released afterwards.

I'm surprised we don't have a thread for Chick. IIRC, he was brought up in the old "Crazy Christians" thread a lot. But he's definitely one of the more influential lolcows when it comes to internet culture and online humor.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Sigmund Freud.
Marlon Brando.
Diogenes.
A whole damn subforum for all the Habsburg incest children.

 

[Fromtheblackdepths]

Sigmund Freud.
Marlon Brando.
Diogenes.
A whole damn subforum for all the Habsburg incest children.

I only know of the water head Habsburg, what about the other ones?

 

[Milk Mage]

Captain Beefheart

 

[Fromtheblackdepths]

Captain Beefheart

What about Frank Zappa.

 

[Eris!]

Andy Kaufman's thread would be 3000 pages.

 

[Kingu Cinnamon]

Sigmund Freud.
Marlon Brando.
Diogenes.
A whole damn subforum for all the Habsburg incest children.

Diogenes would definitely be a Kiwi

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

I only know of the water head Habsburg, what about the other ones?

I remember a good number of them were insane and/or had birth defects, can't remember which ones specifically though. There's one who always wore a breastplate to cover his deformed torso.
Maria Theresa is remembered in folklore as a very promiscuous woman. Whether that's true or not is inconsequential, she was a good ruler by all accounts.
Her son Joseph II. had issued 700 edicts while he was her co-sovereign (1765-1780), then, after her death, he ripped the dial off and issued 6000 edicts and 11000 new laws during the ten years of his reign (1780-1790). He revoked most of them on his deathbed.

Edit:

Diogenes would definitely be a Kiwi

With a halal thread, sure.

 

[Pee Cola]

Amy Winehouse
Anna Nicole Smith

 

[Jason Wynn]

Liberace. Guy was gayer than Richard Simmons and he'd fly into an autistic rage and go sue happy over anyone who slightly voiced skepticism about his "heterosexuality" kinda reminds me of Classic Chris

Betty White of all people was the one who confirmed his gayness

 

[Rafal Gan Ganowicz]

Michael. Boysucking. Jackson.

 

[Pee Cola]

Liberace. Guy was gayer than Richard Simmons and he'd fly into an autistic rage and go sue happy over anyone who slightly voiced skepticism about his "heterosexuality" kinda reminds me of Classic Chris

I recall hearing a story suggesting that Liberace had so much plastic surgery that, in the last few years of his life, he had to sleep with his eyes open because he couldn't close them. It could be an urban legend, but it wouldn't surprise me if it were true.