I suppose it's about time for me to say hi again, eh?
Full disclosure: I did indeed have an account here, but I left because I let a few posters get to me. I also tried to be something I wasn't. I tried to be edgy, I tried to act tough and MOTI, and tried to fit in etc. But I'm really not. I'm a big cuddly teddy bear, and I'm happy that way.
I might participate here again, but it'll simply be under the guise of 'I like to give everyone a chance, and I like seeing how their minds work.' Folks like Chris are fascinating to me, from a psychological standpoint. It breaks my heart to see so many people troll her, and I feel particularly ashamed that I participated in that in an effort to fit in.
Now on to answering your questions. Sorry for the long preface there!
I knew about Ace from the forums. I know they say never pozload my neghole, and I failed at that. But as I said, I like to give everyone a chance, even if the ends result is rather predictable. But she was interesting to me. I followed her because I wanted to be a reason she smiles today. I firmly believe that everybody deserves to be happy. Your mind really fucks with you when you're depressed. Ask me how I know.
All I want in this life, is to be the reason somebody smiles today. When I look back at my post history here, it makes me die a little inside. That's not who I am. I'm a lover, not a fighter. I'm a cuddler, not a puncher.
As for Ace, it's disappointing, but no surprising. I recognise that everyone has their own way of asking for help. I do my best to accommodate this. As I said on twitter, there's a huge difference between letting your emotions boil over, and completely lashing out at someone who's trying to help you. There's biting the hand that feeds you, then there's this.
Maybe I'm naive, maybe I'm dumb, maybe I'll get a bunch of dumb reacts here. I'm also well aware of linking my social media to here. But I've got nothing to hide, really. I have a couple of kinks, sure, but they're in no way illegal, I'm not a zoo or pedo, and I derive no pleasure in forcing it onto anyone else. If you don't like it, hey, that's perfectly fine! We're all different, and I'm perfectly ok with that. Let's talk about something we both like. Hell, I could talk all day about cars, or photography, or computers, whatever.
Pardon me for the rambles. If you have any more questions, let me know. P.S. If any of my followers read this, please rest assured that I have no interest in doxxing you, or talking about you behind your back. I like to think that I can contribute something to these forums, and our friendship. I'd like to be a breath of fresh air here. Anything I do contribute, I'll try to be myself, and I will try to be helpful in some way. Please sing out if I fail at this, but I'll still try my best!
Thank you again for your kind support. You guys have been so wonderful. I actually shed a few tears earlier over how kind you were. I just want you to know, that this fluffy little thing appreciates it more than you know. You're all awesome, and I wish nothing but the best for you. <3
P.S. As for the offer of donations, I appreciate this deeply, and I kinda wish I could say yes, but my pride gets in the way of that. I would feel like a hypocrite in a way, and I couldn't bear to think that you've made yourself short helping silly old me. It's my ultimate goal to be completely self-sufficient. I'm hoping to start doing Uber Eats etc soon, now that my new car is pretty well mechanically sorted. I have a few little touch-ups to do, but I'm hoping I can start in the next few weeks.
I've got some bread, ham and cheese, and the housemate is having a hellofresh delivery tomorrow. Generally the idea is that he pays. I cook and clean. So I genuinely appreciate it, but I wouldn't feel right asking. Thank you so much for your kindness. <3
Holy shit, that meltdown. He does this every time someone has the balls to question his grifting and how he uses the money. The simple reason for it is that he cannot face the truth. I'll put my armchair psychologist hat on and call this a fantastic display of narcissistic injury.
