Shit You Think is Spooky/Disturbing - Beware! You're in for a scare...

[Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth]

PL: I have a relative who is a mortician.
SHE is a distant cousin, and kinda hot.
She always teases family members: "I get to see you last, AND NAKED!"
Always really creeped me out.
(she is on her third or 4th husband and not really that old... I'm not implying anything...)

So, uh, can I get her number or what?

 

[Orange Rhymer]

So, uh, can I get her number or what?

Do you need a mortician? YOU WILL.

 

[Mr. Confederate Man]

Anything and everything involving corpses and post-mortem human remains.
Necrophilia, cannibalism, grave desecration.... You get the idea.

I know I'd be dead anyway, and chances are there is no afterlife, but if there was a way to see how our mortal bodies fared after death, I'd hate to see my corpse getting raped by some sicko, or dissected for some shady reason. Gimme cremation and that's it.

Once I was metal detecting in the family cemetery (thinking I’d come across a lost ring or something from a service) and got a really good hit. I learned the hard way that great-grandmother’s tomb isn’t very far down. Scared the shit out of me.

 

[Basil II]

Once I was metal detecting in the family cemetery (thinking I’d come across a lost ring or something from a service) and got a really good hit. I learned the hard way that great-grandmother’s tomb isn’t very far down. Scared the shit out of me.

wtf did you expect.

 

[Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth]

wtf did you expect.

The lost Confederate gold obviously.

 

[Mr. Confederate Man]

wtf did you expect.

I expected it to be more that 10 inches from the surface

 

[Billy "the Bot" Bobson]

It really isn’t that bad when you’re used to it and you can’t beat how gorgeous it is on a clear cold night. Although as It has been said in this very thread that the darkness out in the boonies is not your friend.
What’s fun is when you walk out on the porch for a smoke and and all you see is several glowing eyes from vaguely canine shapes watching you from just outside the range of the porch light.

Used to be terrified of the night in the boonies, but when I remember that most animals don't want to bother you nor be bothered by you, it's quite relaxing. Unless you're by the bayou. Gators are nasty sons of bitches and snakes are too well hidden. Thunderstorms are also terrible. It's a healthy respect, notsomuch fear. The wild will respect you, as long as you respect the wild. That being said, the worst experience I've ever had in the boonies was dealing with random vagrants. It doesn't happen all the time, but they're always so damn jumpy and unpredictable. If you could promise me that I could live in a place where no human would ever enter for 100 miles in every direction, I'd feel much safer.

 

[Devyn]

Camera obscuras. I mean they're really cool, and it's a natural phenomenon (unlike, say, a film projection), but something about experiencing them in real life unsettles me. Maybe just the fact that they're upside down.

Spoiler: examples

 

[Pistoleer]

Used to be terrified of the night in the boonies, but when I remember that most animals don't want to bother you nor be bothered by you, it's quite relaxing. Unless you're by the bayou. Gators are nasty sons of bitches and snakes are too well hidden. Thunderstorms are also terrible. It's a healthy respect, notsomuch fear. The wild will respect you, as long as you respect the wild. That being said, the worst experience I've ever had in the boonies was dealing with random vagrants. It doesn't happen all the time, but they're always so damn jumpy and unpredictable. If you could promise me that I could live in a place where no human would ever enter for 100 miles in every direction, I'd feel much safer.

Swamps are a whole different level of some spooky dangerous shit. It’s like the old Charlie Daniels song: Legend of Wooly Swamp.
“If you ever go back into Wooly Swamp son you better not go at night
There's things out there in the middle of them woods
That'd make a strong man die from fright
There's things that crawl and things that fly
And things that creep around on the ground
And they say the ghost of Lucias Clay gets up and it walks around.”

The spooking a vagrant thing is no joke either. A couple of years ago in my home town a deer hunter spooked a felon that was hiding in the grass as he was going to his stand. The hunter damn near walked over the guy who hopped up out of the grass and shot him. The hunter survived because the bullet went through his wrist then into his gut. His left hand is fucked forever though now.

 

[Wraith]

IDK if any of you feel the same way, but this just happened.
Went out and it was raining. I didn't care, I wanted my snacky treats. Don't ever get between me and my snacky treats. Where I was going was a bit of a trip. About a half an hour in I had one of those horrible moments where I thought I was not just going to have to pass gas, but it was going to be a wet one. I'm sure you've all had moments like this. So... hoping beyond hope, I carefully let 'er rip. It went both better and worse than planned.
The fart was one of those there it wasn't just something from the end of the colon, but I felt it like a half a foot up the ol' Wraith turbo shaft. Praise God, no... wetness, but the feeling was so bizarre. My entire colon down there shook like I had just felt an earthquake in califaggotland. I honestly got worried. I wasn't even at the store yet. I got my snacky treats and came back. That's all I wanted to do in the rain, but the entire trip back and for several moments after getting back to my exiled lair that entire section of my colon just felt odd. I didn't like it. At least my shorts were clean.

Anyway I find it spoopy that in every video game and every display for Halloween and every scary movie no one has skeletons of fat people. Ain't that a bit odd?

 

[Orange Rhymer]

IDK if any of you feel the same way, but this just happened.
Went out and it was raining. I didn't care, I wanted my snacky treats. Don't ever get between me and my snacky treats. Where I was going was a bit of a trip. About a half an hour in I had one of those horrible moments where I thought I was not just going to have to pass gas, but it was going to be a wet one. I'm sure you've all had moments like this. So... hoping beyond hope, I carefully let 'er rip. It went both better and worse than planned.
The fart was one of those there it wasn't just something from the end of the colon, but I felt it like a half a foot up the ol' Wraith turbo shaft. Praise God, no... wetness, but the feeling was so bizarre. My entire colon down there shook like I had just felt an earthquake in califaggotland. I honestly got worried. I wasn't even at the store yet. I got my snacky treats and came back. That's all I wanted to do in the rain, but the entire trip back and for several moments after getting back to my exiled lair that entire section of my colon just felt odd. I didn't like it. At least my shorts were clean.

Anyway I find it spoopy that in every video game and every display for Halloween and every scary movie no one has skeletons of fat people. Ain't that a bit odd?

Your shorts may be clean, but.
I hope you checked inside your boots.

 

[TurdFondler]

I've never found a dead relative or acquaintance but I'm in a line of work where sometimes you find dead bodies.

One time I found a guy that was almost dead, that was way worse. The breathing and the sounds he made were awful.

Dead people smell like rotten kimchi and cheetos, FYI. Dead mice are more acrid.

 

[Jones McCann]

A few times in my life I've had sleep paralysis. It usually happens like this: I'll wake up or so I think but I can't move, and I'll be hearing strange noises around me like screams for help or loud footsteps, etc. The first episode was when I was 16, I awoke in the middle of the night and heard very loud footsteps coming up the stairs to my room. These were Satan's footsteps (or so I thought). I managed to finally frighten myself to full consciousness and went downstairs to sleep in the living room where it was more "safe". After falling asleep I had what can only be described as an out of body experience where I was hovering over myself looking down at my sleeping body. I've had sleep paralysis a few times since then where I'm conscious but not fully awake and have auditory hallucinations. The worst part is I'll wake up and everythings okay, only to go back to sleep and have it happen again. Repeat that cycle 5-10 times before I can finally get to sleep until morning.

On a related note one of my friend's from highschool had a mother that suffered from night terrors. He would say she'd wake up screaming and run around the house throwing whatever she could find to grab onto. I always thought he was full of shit (he was that type of person) until I slept over one night and no shit we were having a jam sesssion and stopped to take a break when we hear her screaming upstairs. I can't remember anything else about that night but she seemed okay in the morning.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

Schizophrenia has always disturbed me. Just reading about it what it's like to have it, plus the constant voices. I've witnessed people with it and heard personal stories, and the descriptions of the voices in your head, it's always creeped me out. I can't imagine having it and having to go through that, and having to live with a brain like that. Any type of brain issues like that scare me, including Traumatic Brain Injury. Having your personality completely change from an injury to something different. That's scary.

 

[TurdFondler]

On that note anything that changes your brain is unsettling.

Ever have a concussion? The first few nights after you get really incredibly vivid dreams. Thought processes are a little strange and your moods are all over the board. It's uncanny.

 

[Billy "the Bot" Bobson]

Swamps are a whole different level of some spooky dangerous shit. It’s like the old Charlie Daniels song: Legend of Wooly Swamp.
“If you ever go back into Wooly Swamp son you better not go at night
There's things out there in the middle of them woods
That'd make a strong man die from fright
There's things that crawl and things that fly
And things that creep around on the ground
And they say the ghost of Lucias Clay gets up and it walks around.”

The spooking a vagrant thing is no joke either. A couple of years ago in my home town a deer hunter spooked a felon that was hiding in the grass as he was going to his stand. The hunter damn near walked over the guy who hopped up out of the grass and shot him. The hunter survived because the bullet went through his wrist then into his gut. His left hand is fucked forever though now.

Used to live on a farm on swampland and had to do the occasional night-time patrols to make sure coyotes didn't fuck with the chickens. Hated going near the edge of the property. Nothing distinctive comes to mind, except how much I fucking hate snakes. There's only been two times I've ever had to deal with vagrants, both weren't pleasant. First one had to chase him off the property after he'd been harassing the farmers all along the road. The second one was terrifying. Had to go through the old barn, clearing corners. Then I had to check the old trucks. Thankfully, he'd peeled off long before I had to patrol. I've had to do a similar patrol when a bear had wandered onto the property. Between the two, I'd rather deal with the bear.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

On that note anything that changes your brain is unsettling.

Ever have a concussion? The first few nights after you get really incredibly vivid dreams. Thought processes are a little strange and your moods are all over the board. It's uncanny.

Agreed. The brain seems quite fragile, and head injuries and the aftermath of them are very unsettling. The links to head injuries and serial killers doesn't help. There's a theory that Henry the 8th became a tyrant from his head injury from jousting. He had two major head injuries. Richard Ramirez also had a major head injury.

 

[Orange Rhymer]

Agreed. The brain seems quite fragile, and head injuries and the aftermath of them are very unsettling. The links to head injuries and serial killers doesn't help. There's a theory that Henry the 8th became a tyrant from his head injury from jousting. He had two major head injuries. Richard Ramirez also had a major head injury.

Caligula as well. The historians state that his terrible fever affected him greatly. He was a different person after he awoke from his affliction.

 

[NyQuilninja]

I once woke up with a cockroach stuck in my ear
Its fucking terrifying

https://www.healthline.com/health/bug-in-ear#removal

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

On that note anything that changes your brain is unsettling.

Ever have a concussion? The first few nights after you get really incredibly vivid dreams. Thought processes are a little strange and your moods are all over the board. It's uncanny.

I remember reading about some child molester who suddenly and inexplicably started touching kids despite having no prior history or even interest in doing so. He got an X-ray and they found a brain tumor. Once they removed the brain tumor, he went right back to normal. The tumor was literally affecting his personality and made him do something he never would have done while healthy. Later he started touching kids again and they found the tumor had grown back in the same place.

Imagine having your whole personality change for the worse because something goes wrong in your brain that you have absolutely no control over.